and i think hejust — he knew then that he had to make the choice of being on his own orjoining the gang for protection. i noticed his friends got a lot older. he's always gone around with older lads, because he's always been mature, but this was dramatically older. it were difficult to know where he was, keep tabs on him. thejob i had, i was going to bed early, and, like i said, i had other children as well, and i actually thought "oh, well done, he's going to bed" — you know, it was — whose son at this age goes, you know, to bed so early? and it turned out that he was actually climbing out the windows on a night, and they had him selling crack and heroin. one of my children had come in, and they wanted to get supper. and they said the big brother's friends were all in the kitchen and there was branches everywhere. i didn't understand at the time, and when i walked