mean, the strain this put on you. >> oh, yeah. >> that moment when the police finally came in and he was taken out, what goes through your head? goes through your heart then? >> i realize then that they actually -- because when they came in, they came in with guns but he told them not to come in with. so once they came in with the guns because now remember, his gun and all his weapons was not too far from him and so when he came in -- when they came in i was like okay, lord don't let him move. don't let him get up and go get that gun. and so by the time they all just swarmed around him and realized he didn't have anything because i told him to put his hands behind his back and so they would know he didn't have anything, and when i seen that police officers put they hands on him, you know, and they were all surrounding him, i knew i could just like breathe. >> and go to the bathroom. >> and go to the bathroom.