to feel my own femininity. and i say that specifically because i think that in my other occupation as an actor, the majority of the scripts that have been offered to me were written by men. they were the man's perspective of a feminine construct or a feminine ideal. and i was primarily always directed by men. and i was always work very hard to figure out how to play these women, and primarily i had to make them either high or drunk or crazy to figure out why a woman would behave in any of these ways that were written in the script. because no woman that i knew behaved in the ways of these scripts that were given to me. as i began to paint, i was able to find through this solitary