and kind of go for it and buy a canvas. i have a little bit of money, maybe i will buy a big canvas. so, i bought a 4 x 4 foot canvas. it was so exciting. it was so thrilling to create something without complaint or someone else's investment. it was just my investment. >> you say that you paid from a feminine perspective and that a lot of men do not get your work. >> i think in the beginning when i was really just working on color , i was really starting to fill my own femininity. i say that specifically because i think that in my other occupation as an actor, the