Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org and applause] jon thats our show. Join us tomorrow at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen. If you want to protect yourself get a Double Barrel shotgun. Put it and fire two blasts outside the house. I promise you who is coming in is not you dont need an [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers an captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause [crowd chanting stephen] stephen welcome to the report, everybody. Good to have you with us. Please, nation, sit down. As an american i dont like to talk about other countries that are not us. With their crazy names notamericastan. [laughter] but tonight, every single story i will be reporting on comes from another country. Im not happy about it either. Blame the u. N. [laughter] first up, a story that is rocking theworld of meat. The united kingdoms Meat Industry is in disarray after horse meat was discovered in products intended for humans. Food giant nestle suspending some of its deliveries after traces of horse dna were found in the meat. Stores in britain, france and sweden now yanking beef products off the shelves over a horse meat scare. Burger king admits some of its patties in england and ireland were tainted with horse meat. Stephen someone in europe is trying to slip you their tainted meat, and for once its not silvio burlesconi. [laughter] he has been known to yank his meat off the shelves 4r5 h [laughter] now, everyone in europe is worried that they may be biting down on horse, instead of their usual delicacy of pickled sheep brain. [laughter] its a complex story, so let me back up and explain how this horse scandal went down. [speaking like a racetrack announcer] and theyre off first, horse meat was discovered in a british supermarket, but britain rounded the bend and laid the blame on the irish supplier who said they got it from poland. Poland denies it. Aaaannnd heres france, coming up strong with their own horse meat scandal, selling meat to england and sweden, but france falls behind and lays the blame on cyprus. Cyprus now in the lead with the blame, but whats this . Whats this . Out of nowhere on the last leg, cyprus says they got their meat from a dutch company, who said they got it from whos that . Whos that . Its romania romania takes the blame [laughter] [cheers and applause] but the romanians did not act alone. Ive got a horrible feeling were looking at a Major International criminal conspiracy. Claims that organized crime gangs are behind the contamination are threatening to errode consumer confidence. Stephen organized crime [laughter] im not surprised the mob is involved. I mean, if youre gonna leave a horse head in a bed, why waste all that good body meat . [laughter] frankly, i dont understand why everyone is so upset over eating horse . We dont feel guilty when we happily consume the rest of noahs ark . [laughter] is it because theyre our friends in movies and tv shows . Well, i love bacon, so i just hope spielberg never makes war pig. [laughter] theres nothing wrong with eating horse burgers. Fast food should be made of fast animals. Oh man, i could really go for a doublecheetah melt [laughter] nation, next up on not america, football is getting a lot of heat about traumatic brain injuries. I dont see what the big deal is. I played as a kid and im purply spatula. [laughter] but that hasnt stopped president obama from piling on, telling the new republic, if i had a son, id have to think long and hard before i let him play football. Oh, really, sir . Well football doesnt want your imagery son because he throws like an imagery girl. [ laughter ] sadly, the spectre of childhood brain damage threatens the future of football. So clearly, we have to immediately address this crisis by talking about something else. This is the sport report. [cheers and applause] [humming] [laughter] folks, im no fan but soccer is europes most popular sport, right behind competitive threeways. [laughter] incredible ball handling. [laughter] but now theres a dark cloud on soccers horizon. Hundreds of International Soccer matches may have been fixed. Were talking world cup qualifiers, european championships qualifiers. These tournaments dont come any bigger and more prestigious than this. Were talking about 680 suspicious games involving 425 match officials, club officials, players, known criminals from some 15 countries around the world. I mean this is absolutely massive. Stephen im shocked. [laughter] who would have thought there was anything fake about soccer . Its always been a game of such integrity. [laughter] now, this gamefixing started out subtly, but authorities began to suspect something was wrong when instead of red and yellow cards, referees began Holding Platinum cards. And this is not an isolated scandal. Russian mobsters have targeted every level of the game. The world cup all the way down to semipro games in the soccer wilderness. So, the next time you drop off katie at her match against the mckinley titans, watch out for a guy with a russian accent and a briefcase full of orange slices. [laughter] the match fixing even went on in the crown jewel of european soccer, the uayfa champions if thats how you say it. [ laughter ] the uayfa champions league. In a game against liverpool, a hungarian teams goalkeeper was, paid to ensure that there were more than two goals scored in the match. But liverpool won by the score of one to zero. Which goes to show, no one man can be more corrupt than soccer is boring. [laughter] and the fixers [cheers and applause] and the fixers also paid off referees, often in subtle ways. Like when all seven goals in two matches came from penalty kicks awarded by referees, or a latvian game where after a Player Missed a penalty kick, the referee ordered that it be retaken. This time from inside the goal. [laughter] so will corruption destroy soccer . Here to move the discussion forward without using his hands, please welcome former u. S. National team member and espn soccer analyst, alexei lalas. Thank you so much. [cheers and applause] good to see you again. [cheers and applause] all right alexi, good to have you back, this is this it for socker is . Is it a killing blow to the worlds most favorite sport . Absolutely not. Stephen why not its corrupt you cant trust a single game. Its a sham. Its theater. It might as well be wrestling at this point. Its in the a sham. Its huge and very important. Stephen so is wrestling. Its important it be dealt with. When these things come out. Fixing has been around for a long time but were talking in europe, Central America and were talking about a massive amount of people. Stephen what about the United States do we have evidence of fixing in the United States . We have some evidence but im here to tell you that the u. S. Major League Soccer is clean and maybe in that sense theres an opportunity there. Stephen how would somebody fix a game . How . I guarantee ive played in a fixed game. Theres a difference between ming in it and fixing a game. You dont need a lot to do it. Its not always the referee. Its players, players on the field and you have to have a fixer, a guy with relationship with players, an eplayer, a guy who is bitter, not making a lot of money. A referee or meres making a couple how to and say hey, you can make 50,000 its difficult to pass up. Stephen who is policing . Fifa . They can do only so much. They need the help of the police in the countries. This is all always we talk about asia and singapore which very important. Stephen one guy in singapore. Gotta get him. Stephen hes fixing games all over the world. Theres an International Arrest warrant for him next summer is the world cup and god forbid were looking at the world cup next summer saying ah. Once you are tainted its difficult. When we talk about major League Soccer in the United States, they are vigilant about. This they want to make sure it doesnt creep to the u. S. Stephen can you trust anything about a game where players are routinely slapping each other in the face with other peoples hands. Dont be a boob, steve. Stephen what do you mean dont be a boob. It happens all the time. Oh, ow no one going to call that . Listen, i dont hate you because you have that view of soccer i pity you because you dont understand the beautiful game its nuance. Its subjective. It takes superior intellect to understand the beauty of game even the theatrics we see out there. If you dont understand its okay. I am not able to convince you [audience reacts [. Stephen its fine. Maybe some guy will understand the joy. You will never understand it. Stephen ly never rise to the level of appreciating 00 the excitement. Thank you for joining me. Always a pleasure. Stephen espn soccer analyst[cheers and applause] stephen welcome back, every. Anyone in the tv business knows best way to create a hit show is not to the create one. Instead, import a hit from overseas. Nbcs the office came from britains the office, and homeland came from the israeli show hatufim. And Chris Matthewss hardball was adapted from the irish Childrens Program the very angry potato. [laughter] well, ive got my eye on a wildly Popular Program from norway called National Firewood night which consisted mostly of people in parkas chatting and chopping in the woods and then eight hours of a fire burning in a fireplace. [laughter] it destroyed the other top norwegian shows like so you think you can watch paint dry . [laughter] and the amazing glaish race. [laughter] and get this almost twenty percent of the population tuned in. Twenty percent the last time that Many Americans watched a hunk of wood, he was playing opposite sandra bullock. [ laughter ] of course, in just 12 hours, you are never going to capture the true depth and nuance of chopping, drying and stacking wood which is why many norwegians prefer the best selling book the show is based on, solid wood, all about the chopping, drying and stacking wood and the soul of wood burning. Its available on kindle and as kind ling. Of course, ive known the appeal of tv fire for ages. One of the longest running characters on this show has been my fireplace flamy t. Fire. I used to have a real fire in there but i got shut down by big brother fire marshal just because hit no chimney and the Carbon Monoxide was killing my audience. [laughter] but theres one thing i dont get, folks. Part of the reason why the show is successful ises but its given older norwegian men permission to reveal their deepest thoughts while seemingly discussing firewood. I just dont understand that. [ laughter ] i mean, theres no deep feelings when you are talking wood. Its just wood. You know, you cut it up and stack it and burn it. Personally i split into quarters because thats how my dad taught me. Stack it loosely enough that a squirrel can get through but tight enough that the cat cannot follow. Try telling that to your son he has no time for it. He doesnt want to talk about wood because he converted to gas. So you just stack firewood by yourself and never see your son and then there you are with all this wood and [laughter] and yet no warmth. [ laughter ] it burns. And it burns. And then its gone. [ laughter ] ashes in the wind. [ laughter ] [laughter] [laughter] i miss you. [laughter] i miss you when im with you. [ laughter ] and into the fire you go. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] anyway seems like a good show. Well be rig p55555555[] stephen welcome back, everybody. My guest tonight has a new book about how to fix the Health Care System it costs 29. 95 and a 10 copay. Please welcome david goldhill. [cheers and applause] mr. Goldhill, thanks so much. Okay. So the name of your book is catastrophic care how American Health care killed my father and how we can fix it. Now, are you a doctor . No. Stephen you are not a doctor. You are, in fact, the president and c. E. O. The the game show network. Thats correct. Stephen why is the president and c. E. O. Of the Gameshow Network trying to fix our health care. Arent sick people home from work your core audience . [laughter] well, i hadnt thought before. Stephen you should think about that. You are shooting yourself in the foot right now. [laughter] can i go on anyway. Its a good point. Stephen sure. My interest actually came from my fathers death from a hospital acquired fengs which is an alltoo common experience but broadly i approach it as a business person with 300 employees for whom health scare an important issue. A prnt, a patient myself. When i see is a system broken in so many ways but that i think all of those problems have one cause that i think it has in common which is were not the customer of the Health Care System. Stephen what . Im the guy going there saying give me the drugs im sick. Thats right. Stephen or i might be sick. Give me the drugs now. [laughter] thats right. I think theres 310 million americans with a story about health care that involves anything as simple as lost test results, uncoordinated care, Terrible Service all the way to the type of harm my father and others suffer. What they have in common say system that doesnt serve us in the way anything else in life does yet arguably its the most important industry there is. It serves medicare and medicaid. Stephen who do you want between me and my provider, a government panel, a death panel . No, what i would like to see is a greater role for patients as consumers. So what id like to see us recognize is that health care is no longer just about emergencies, getting hit by a bus but in fact integrated into our life in a lot of ways. Stephen it is. I have insurance. Soon well have obama care. You know about that, right . I do. Stephen soon well have mandated insurance you have to buy into it. Well be covered. What is is your beef . Were overinsured. Stephen over insured . What could you mean . I want to good in at a moments notice for anything. Absolutely and you should be able to. Stephen thank you. We have insurance in a lot of things in our society. If your house burns down we expect homeowners to cover us. We dont expect it to cover us if our furniture goes out the style or pay utility bills. Stephen who is the furniture in health care . The furniture in health care is the fact that a lot of health care cases are routine we expect to pay. We know well pay. Its not just a matter houses burning down. We have a lot of health care issues, costs beyond the urgent ones. They are a bigger part of what health care has. Its great if they covered the furniture policy but if everybodys furniture is covered its a problem. Stephen everybody is a person so they are equal so they should be covered. If you are an employee starting out today. Stephen game show network. Or any other company. We pay for your insurance. Stephen do you pay for it or is it a wheel they spin . We pay for it. An excellent idea though. Stephen you got a kidney [cheers and applause] you are going to have over your lifetime. Stephen yes. Somewhere around 1. 8 million paid into the health care. So when we understand our system. What we need to understand is how much its costing us. We think in terms of benefits isnt it great that everything is covered. Were all paying for each others care, each others furniture. The problem is as a result we created a system where theres no incentive to save money, to curb excess care, to serve customers well and no incentive to curb true danger which is killing 100,000 to 200,000 a year. Stephen theres no competitiveness between companies . There are very few Insurance Companies left. Theres usually only one or two bidding on your business. The more important issue is providers. We need a Health Care System where somebody could make a hospital could make more money by being a low price leader or safety leader. Thats impossible today. Stephen doesnt hospital want to be safe . Everybody wants to be safe. The incentives arent that you make more money by practicing excess care and not overinvesting in service and safety. Stephen again death panel . You take an idea from the left universal coverage and an idea from the right trying to build a real market and health care. You do it by covering everybody but not for everything. We redirect the enormous money back to people. Stephen you give everybody the basic cable package not the premium channels. Another way to express it might be stephen no mine is good. Thank you mr. Goldhill. Thank you for having me. Stephen the book is