6 00, but the winners are bernie and trump unless im wrong. laughter you wanted to clap but you werent sure if it was bernie or trump. Its, im going to wait which one is my clap going to . laughter the big question is how did the candidates spend time in the state . By pandering to New Hampshires number one cultural institution. If you want to win New Hampshire you have to make it rain in the dunkin. Hillary clinton making a stop at Manchester Dunkin donuts. With rubio here in New Hampshire, his wife and children looking for a snack. Were going to Dunkin Donuts. According to boston. Com Hillary Clinton spent nearly 1,900 in dunk danger. Jeb bush just over 400, Bernie Sanders in third at 230. Donald trump only spent 10 applause trevor Hillary Clinton bought 1,900 worth of donuts wow, she hasnt seen that much dough since her last speech to goldman sacks. The only within trump spent 10 is he stole all the donuts from jeb. Speaking of jeb, this is my favorite part of the whole thingers and this is real. A real instagram posted by the Bush Campaign of jeb working the Dunkin Donuts drivethrough in New Hampshire. Thats him which means hes reiter really determined to win the presidency or hes just getting ready for the job hes actually going to end up with after this. laughter but as we head further and further into the primaries, you realize two things are happening the Party Infighting increases and what each partys candidates are fighting about gets very particular. A perfect example of this reared its head at the saturday night g. O. P. Debates. Senator cruz, some of the other candidates say they dont think waterboarding is torture. If elected president , would you bring it back . I would not in any sort of widespread use, but when it comes to keeping this country safe, you can rest assured that as commanderinchief i would use whatever enhanced interrogation methods we could to keep this country safe. Trevor so you would bring it back. laughter i mean, thats what hes saying. I love how ted cruz is talking about torture like its the mcrib im not bringing it back in any sort of widespread use but if America Needs it then yumyum yumyum yumyum yumyum laughter this is insane. You realize ted cruz says hed waterboard in some situations which in itself is crazy because its torture. And it was a position that seemed pretty far out for about ten seconds. Id bring about waterboarding and a hell of a lot worse than waterboarding. laughter Trevor Donald trump is like a really evil little kid oh, yeah . Ill bring back doublewaterboarding whos your dad . this may sound like another one of trumps vague Campaign Promises but his plans for torturing detainees are quite specific. He plans to round up people from all over the world, deny food for days on end, force them to shave their hair, strip them to their underwear, make them parade around in front of people and subject them to harsh interrogation about their beliefs on the world and even if they fully cooperate, after theyve been released, someone would say, im so sorry, theres been a mistake, im so, so sorry, you have to go back in. laughter so for trump and cruz, the question is should the u. S. Conduct torture or more torture. Both positions are fairly extreme, but as donald trump keeps showing, only one can be the extremeest. The other night at the debate they asked ted cruz a serious question, what do you think of waterboarding, is it okay . Honestly ixd thought he would sy absolutely. He didnt. A terrible thing. She just said a terrible thing. Shout it out. She said hes a pussy. Trevor thats terrible. Terrible that i didnt think of that. Speech writer, youre fired hes happy about that donald trump, this is so insane. Donald trump, the leader of the republican president ial race is basically calling ted cruz a torture pussy, and the crazy part is hes still probably going to win tonight. And you heard the crowd. The crowd was going crazy. You know, its a little frightening. It makes you wonder who are the people who go to these trump rallies and cheer when he says these crazy things . Oh, dear god he said hes a pussy. cheers and applause whoo trevor disappointment, my trevor disappointment, my ash, well be right back. Sfx sfx crunch walla i need a hero. Im holding out for a hero til the end of the night, hes gotta be strong, and hes gotta be fast and hes got to be fresh from the fight. Sfx chip crunches, explosion and sizzle i need a hero. Horses latches onto youry finger so hard, its like shes saying i love you. Thats why aveenos oat formula is designed for your babys sensitive skin. Aveeno®. Naturally beautiful babies. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. Now, before the break, we were chatting about how the republicans are fighting over which vote makes you less of a pussy. If you just joined, google republican pussy. Now, its a little bit different on the democrat side because democrats are fighting over something completely different, which vote is friendlier to vaginas. Women are a key group in their primary, and this election, equal pay, Maternity Leave and planned parenthood funding are huge issues. At first, youd think the idea of first female president would be exciting for women voters but turns out not all feel that way. Young women love Bernie Sanders. Young female voters seem to be flocking to the Bernie Sanders camp. Look at these margins, 87 of women 1834 years old are leaning toward sanders whereas just 9 towards Hillary Clinton. Trevor move over, George Clooney there is a new silver fox in town bernie is so popular with young women, hes going to be president and replace zayn in one direction laughter so like an axe chew ware on the last day of burning man, hillary is scrambling to pick up young women, a tough spot, so he brought in the big guns. Unfortunately didnt go as planned. Gloria steinem is having to backpedal this morning after she suggested young women are supporting Bernie Sanders in the democratic president ial race so they can meet boys. Women are more for her than young men. Trevor but young women are more for bernie. Steinem tried to explain women become more politically active as at a get older. Whey youre young youre thinking where are the boys . The boys are with Bernie Trevor oh, no thats terrible because the boys are thinking, where are the girls, so they go to the hillary rallies. And the girls will be at the bernie rallies looking for the boys, so theyre not going to find each other and that means my parents will have never met no applause oh, wait, wait. Im not in past. Anyway, to Gloria Steinem inadvertently threw shade at young bernie supporters. Worse, last week, hillary was endorsed by Madeline Albright. If you dont know, Madeline Albright was the first female secretary of state. She was a u. S. Ambassador and couldnt be more inspiring to young women, then she said this. We can tell our story about how we climbed the ladder and a lot of you younger women think its been done. Its not done and you have to help. Hillary clinton will always be there for you, and just remember there is a special place in hell for women who dont help each other. cheers and applause trevor what everyone is laughing about hell . What . A special place in hell . Talk about feeling the burn laughter the funny thing, is i bet there are a lot of guys who would be, like, hmm, tell me more about this special place for women, and how do i get in . Youre, like, but no, its hell, it doesnt matter. So Gloria Steinem implied women should vote for hillary because theyre women. Bernes female supporters see it differently. Im on the bad side of a lot of women now for supporting bernie, and my line is always i dont vote with my vagina, which is so insulting to women to think that you would follow a candidate just because shes a woman. Trevor well, to be fair, im sure most women dont support hillary just because shes a woman. They support her because shes a woman who supports policies that help women. If they want a woman who supports policies that hurt women, theyd vote for carly fiorina. For more we turn to Senior CorrespondentJessica Williams reporting live from Bernie Sanders. Whats the mood like . Oh, i dont know, nervous, a little excited. I have butterflies in my stomach. Am i blushing right now . Trevor i guess there is a glow about you. Why . Whats going on . My hormones are whats going on, trevor theyre all over the place didnt you hear Gloria Steinem . Its a bernie rally, trevor this is where all the boys are trevor i cant tell you if youre being serious. Oh, yeah, im being so serious. This place is crawling with college studs reeking of body spray, have no clue how to do their own laundry and eat cereal for every meal. How cute is that . Trevor youre into that . Of course, im not made of stone. I have needs listen to the messages these guys vending on tinder. So witty. Damn, girl, ill fill your income gap any day of the week heres another one. As a socialist, my penis is too big not to share, yummy like, right trevor, i cannot let guys like this get away, not in this climate. Trevor but you get Susan Sarandons notion women shouldnt vote with their vaginas. Trevor, what else will i vote with . Thats right, these things arent just made for popping out babies, theyre like third hands. I know guys can pea standing up but big bleep deal, i can pull a lever with this bad bitch rr trevor i get it, youre annoyed people keep dragging gender into this . Thank you for catching up. The sexism is annoying but it is so diminishing of women to accuse other women of supporting hillary because shes a woman. I worship beyonce because were both super hot and we both should get our nighs insured. Trevor so you agree with the hillary supporters . No, both sides are straightup booty now because its diminishing for women to tell other women theyre obligated to vote for hillary because, you know, we all have vaginas. We as women need to remember we all want one thing and its Michelle Obamas arms. But also, seriously, we want the freedom to vote for who we want to regardless of what our husbands or wives or friends say about it. And you know what . While im at it, since im here, no tax on tampons, how about that . Im going to throw that in there. Yeah, i said it. I know thats not what this chat is about. I know thats not the issue at hand. I just cant believe i would have to stand here and say it. Trevor thank you, Jessica Williams, everyone. Well be right back cheers and applause meet tim mahoney. Tim thinks you need to be some sort of mastermind to do your own taxes. So we flew in mastermind george smoot to help him. Ok, what does it say there . It says, did you buy a home . Did you buy a home . Yes. Well then, press there. cellphone tone ok. Thanks. Intuit turbotax. Taxes done smarter. Can you say i love it . Oh love it . Can you say hey . Hey thats the spirit oooooh. Ooh ooh sing sing, baby baby i love you. Oh yes. Ooooh oooh. Everything little thing. Love these things. ] hilarious. [ sigh ] sorry. Force of habit. As long as you are you, its miller time. Switch and get a brand new Cricket Wireless lg risio for 19. 99, or take a spin with the Samsung Galaxy grand prime for 29. 99 Cricket Wireless. Something to smile about. We broabout this new car. To get your honest opinion to keep things unbiased, we removed all the logos. Feels like a bmw. Reminds me a little bit of like an audi. So, this car supports apple carplay. Siri, open maps. She gets me. Wow. It also has teen driver technology. It even mutes the radio until the seat belts are buckled. Im very curious what it is. This is the 2016 chevy malibu. And it sells for . It starts at twentytwo five. What . Oh wow. I mean with all this technology. Thats a game changer. cheers and applause trevor welcome back my guests tonight are a band whos selftitled debut item is called the suffers. Now to play the song peanuts from that album, please welcome the suffers cheers and applause hold my hand ill make those eggs overeasy just the way you like give my hips that grip that lets me know that you need me life doesnt always, always have to be so hard so lets just try to get it right at the start can we hang a little just love a little wont you hold on to me . Wont you just hang a little . Just love a little wont you hold on to me . When im looking in the mirror trying to point out whats wrong thats when you walk up behind and you say youve loved me all along, yeah life doesnt always, always have to be so hard so why dont we try and get it right at the start yeah, yeah hang a little just love a little wont you hold on to me . Wont you just hang a little . Love a little wont you hold on to me . Why cant we just go hang . You know, like the way we used to . Why cant we just go hang . Just like the way we used to . Why cant we just go hang . Hang a little just love a little wont you hold on to me yeah, baby, hold on to me yeah, youre all i need so why dont you hold on to me youre all i need so why dont you hold on to me yeah, hold on to me youre all i need hold on to me youre all i need hold on to me. Why dont we just go hang . The way we used to why cant we just go hang . You know, like the way we used to . Why cant we just go hang . Just like the way we used to . cheers and applause folks, you cant make this stuff up. Four bandits chose a prius as their getaway car. Bravoniner, in pursuit of a toyota prius. Over. How hard is it to catch a prius . Over. This thing is actually pretty fast. Over. Very funny. Oh look, a farmers market. We should get some flowers for the car. Yeah holly toyota. Lets go places. Some of footballs greatest heroes were recently invited to a special advanced screening of one of the most inspirational films in years, eddie the eagle. The movies amazing. Russell you really see the importance of never giving up. Its truly a remarkable story. Drew if you love movies like drew hoosiers, rudy and remember the titans, drew you should see eddie the eagle. It doesnt matter your age, it doesnt matter what youve accomplished. Kurt this movie shows its never too late kurt to be who you want to be. Russell eddie showed the world. If you never jump, youll never fly. Yeah so, youre saying we cant use sorry sir its hotel policy. L . Is it really hotel policy . Im afraid so sir. Do it. How about now . I deserve this. You deserve to be fired. Four flavors, four shapes, cheetos mix ups. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show were here with the suffers, which sounds like a torture name. But thats not where the name came from, right . No, its not. Its a reference to an old jamaican movie called rockers. In that film, the artists are actually the suffers. The major labels arent doing what they could be to make sure they get their just deserves. I feel like as artists we have been working so long with no reward or attention until recently, this is pretty cool. That wasnt really what we were in it for. We were in it for the love of the music, but it hits a certain point where if people are going to make a dollar off of you, that dollar should go to you. Trevor you are selffunded, no label, which i dont think will last for very long, no label. You kick started everything yourself and your album is coming out this friday. Yes, it is. Trevor very impressive the suffers selftitled debut album will be in stores friday. To play us out with midtown, please welcome the suffers. cheers and applause lets go back to that bar off mcgowen we used to love with deep red painted walls, white frames, and old glass surrounding us hows your life now . Did you marry that girl that you talked about . I hope you made it real because sometimes i cant lie i wish it was me ooh, ooh do you ever wanna go back go back to you and me . cuz sometimes i wanna go back, go back to you and me did you ever think to go back go back to you and me . Its been years now if i were to guess, maybe three or five has she been good to you . Did she fix you, mold you, change your life . Does she do all those things that i would not do im forever unsure, but i need to get beyond you ooh, ooh do you ever wanna go back, go back to you and me . cause sometimes i need to go back, go back to you and me did you ever think to go back, go back to you and me . Lets go back to that bar off mcgowen we used to love with deep red painted walls, white frames, and old glass surrounding us did you ever learn that i [cheers and applause] larry welcome to the nightly show. Thank you so much. Im larry wilmore. Triumph the insult comic dog is