Stories that dont even involve donald trump. Because in one week alone, donald trump fought with the pope, blamed george bush for 9 11, and then he said he would stop terrorism by shooting muslims with bullets dipped in pigs blood. For real. This is what he said. And then finally, finally, last saturday, South Carolina voters were like stop. We had heard enough. You should be our president. Record voter turnout lifted trump to a big win in saturdays South Carolina primary. He beat marco rubio by 11 points, ted cruz was a very close third. A smashing victory for donald trump. He won across the state. No republicans won both New Hampshire and South Carolina has ever lost the nomination. Trevor just take a second to think about that. Because this is true, people. Donald trump, unless something unprecedented happens, is going to be the republican nominee. Once again, to his ears, those are cheers. Now because of the two crucial demographics that those two states represent, the way they vote is a good predicter of the rest of the campaign. Its like if you eat at a chipotle downtown and then you eat at one midtown, you get a pretty good sense of what fake mexican food tastes like. You also probably have diarrhea. The point is, i have diarrhea. Angry once again, trump was magazine nan mus in victory. But still trump. I want to also congratulate the other candidates, in particular i have to say, ted and marco did a really good job. Theres nothing easy about running for president , i can tell you. Its tough, its nasty, its mean, its vicious. Its beautiful. Trevor im sorry, what . Where did that come from . Only trump could describe democracy in a way that also sounds like hes sexually harassing it. That is what he sounds like hes talking about. I love how halfway threw he turned on the president ial race. He realized his descriptions for the president ial race is a metaphor for himself, its tough, its nasty, its mean, its vicious, i mean its beautiful, its busm, its me. The thing is donald trump is most likely the republican nominee i guess we should start getting to know his family. Melania, Say Something. I just want to say an amazing place, South Carolina. Congratulation to my husband. He was working very hard. And he loves you. Trevor hold on. Trumps wife speaks immigrant . laughter cheers and applause i mean no, no, dont get me wrong, dont get me yong wrong, im fine with that, im an immigrant. But you know who seemed like on paper would not be fine with this . Donald trump dorch ald trump is extremely lucky that he isnt running against donald trump. Cuz imagine what he would be saying about himself. He would be like they come in here, theyre stealing our men. Yeah, theyre stealing all other men, women from slovenia, can you even be president if your wife wasnt born here. I dont know, im just asking. Im just asking. Its just a question. Im just asking. applause but im really sorry to say that saturday night ended on a very sad note. You know a wise man once said if you love somebody, set them free. And saturday night people of South Carolina, they did just that. The people of iowa and New Hampshire and South Carolina have spoken. And i really respect their decision. So tonight i am suspending my campaign. Yeah, yup. laughter . Trevor ah, jeb, his Campaign Died as it lived. Standing in an awkward silence. laughter trying not to cry. You know whats so sad about this . Weve gotten so used to jeb failing, that weve all forgotten that less than a year ago everyone thought that he was too bush to fail. My prediction is that jeb bush is going to be the nominee. Is he among the bookies favorites to win the nomination. Whatever jeb bushs faults are, he is either the frontrunner or the number two guy. Theres no question that jeb bush will win the presidency, running against mr. Trump. Trevor yeah, last time someone got a prediction that wrong was when they said by 2016 we would all be riding hoverboards. And yet all we have are those rolling imussable douche char yots. Those are not hovering. They roll on the ground. Its the floor, its not hover. So bush came in as the favorite and then his team spent 130 million. Which included 84 Million Dollars on ads, and more than 10 Million Dollars on what kind of advice could they have exroid d 10 million whack were they saying. Hey, jeb, youre out of money. So you should probably drop out. Good advice. Or, or maybe, or maybe they taught him how to pump up a crowd. Were prepared to act in the National Security interests of this country, to get back in the business of creating a more peaceful world. Please clap. laughter . Trevor poor jeb. Hes sound popular he couldnt even get the clap. But laughter . Trevor as always, jeb bush was gracious in defeat. Unless you were reading our subtext translator. In a government of the people by the people and for the people, we elect a president like us in perfect under gods watchful eye. I have had a front row seat to this office for most of my adult life. Ive seen fall i believe men rise up to the challenges of our times with humility. Trevor no, no, were just kidding. Dont actually be sorry for jeb bush. This is my favorite part of jb bushs campaign ever because he is not sorry for himself. In fact, now that he is out of the race, he has plans. No matter what the future holds here is the greatest landing if you can imagine, tonight im going to sleep with the best friend i have and the love of my life. Ah. So sweet. Your wife is your safety landing. How romantic. Can we just take a second to acknowledge this, did jeb think he wasnt allowed to have sksz with his wife during the campaign . Why did he say well, tonight now im going to have sex who told him he wasnt allowed to have sex . It sounds like a prank that your brother would oh. Oh, nicely played, nicely played. Like yeah, in 2 thousand the only thing i [bleep] was a honey do melon. Well, you know what, i know im not the only one sad to see jeb bush go. We actually have footage of his supporters who watched him as he chose to term nature his campaign. Please clap. applause . applause . Trevor well be back. Just take any empty seat that you see. Olks sfx blows nose sfx baby whines being hacked and intellectual property being stolen. That is cybercrime and it affects each and every one of us. Microsoft created the digital crimes unit to fight cybercrime. We use the microsoft cloud to visualize information so we can track down the criminals. When it comes to the cloud, trust and security are paramount. Were building what we learn back into the cloud to make people and organizations safer. Absolutely ageless® night cream aveeno® with active naturals® blackberry complex. A whole new way to keep skin looking younger longer. Starting tonight. Part of the new absolutely ageless collection from aveeno® applebees Fan Favorites bourbon st. Chicken and shrimp . Its so smokey and mysterious. Then that cajun spice. I almost forgot i could feel this way. She used to talk about me like that. Everyones a fan with applebees 2 for 20 Fan Favorites. Trevor welcome back to the show. You know, this president ial campaign has been the craziest one in memory. But heres the thing. Yes, americans are losing because americans are going, this election sin sain. But trust me, trust me on this, it could be worse. And it is worse laughter . Trevor in uganda. In fact, that is nair national moto. Their national moto. You see, you see, last week you begana hell its president ial election. And the incumbents president yow we arey museveni was elected to his sixth term in office to break it down, this guy has been in power since 1986. Just think about that, hes been in office for 30 years. Like in the you beganan version of back to the future, whenever doc brown asked marty who is the president. Marty goes its the same guy. Its the same, he is a dictator. It is the same guy. Now even though he won, this was the toughest chal enmuseveni ever faced. Here is the crazy thing about this election. His main opponent. Museveni is currently facing a serious challenge to his presidency where his main challenger is his former personal doctor kizza we significantie. Trevor i cant think of anything anyone that would be worse to run against than your own personal doctor. He knows everything about you. Is he going to be the worst attack ad ever. The president is corrupt, he abuses his power. And just between you and me, he has a rash on his scrotum that we cant seem to get rid of. We have tried many ointments but the rash does not disappear. laughter now speaking of donald trump laughter he has done so well despite putting in so little effort. But in uganda, president ial candidates put even less effort. Check out kizza kizza besigye, is he campaigning wile sitk on top of a couch on top of a car. You know when you are on the couch and you are at home and youre like hmmmm, im hungry but i dont want to get up and go to the kitchen. That is what this guy did while running for president. He is sitting on top of a couch on top of a car. Honestly, like for uganda, that is the most american thing ive ever seen in my life. The only thing that would make it even more american is if he was going through the drive thru at wendys at the same time that is the only thing. Now the ugandan elections were littered with fraud. The president shutd down social media because it was benefiting the other candidates and remember the president s main opponent, his personal doctor, he was arrested four times during election week. And on election day itself, it just so happened that his stronghold didnt receive ballots until it was too late. They were forced to shoot fear gas at voters impatient with lack of ballot papers. Some voters waited more than five hours because ballots had not been delivered. We came as early as 6 00 in the morning, okay. And weve been here. They are six hours late. Trevor six hours late. Even Time Warner Cable is like damn laughter i mean america has its problems when it comes to ballots but at least americans get their ballots. Ugandans would kill for hanging chads. Oh, it takes some dude named chad as long as he had some ballots with imhad. Anyway, the point is obviously president museveni was easily reelected and with donald trump also winning over the weekend, we thought you know what, given the choice between the two powerhungry maniacs who would voters prefer. So we actually asked some of our friends in uganda to talk to their people in the street and ask who would they choose, trump or dictator museveni. Donald trump or museveni, who would i vote for. On a heuer entertainment value, donald trump. Trump is a serious radical. I dont think ugandans would put up with donald trump and his terrible hair. I have an uncle who is donald trump, a loose canon. One thing i know, he talks a lot. Then he took on the pope. And usually what we do at family gatherings is just give him a bit of alcohol and will say all this nonsense that will excite us. I say give him a chance. That would be like asking a muslim if they would have bacon or ham, sto make it simple, give me a rope, i will go hang myself. Trevor wow. 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Four flavors, four shapes, cheetos mix ups. 3d so you can do a ton ofponds tstuff in a lot less time. Nger. Like look at a site without going to it. Or watch a video without opening it. You can do pretty much everything faster. Shooting stuff. Music stuff. Couch shopping. Shoe shopping. Running. Kind of. Checking a flight from an email. Im peeking my flight. Im not peeking my flight. Im peeking my. Wait, i missed my flight. Owl photos. Desert photos. Photos of. Dolphins a highstepping man. Pizza gifs. Its all faster with 3d touch on iphone 6s. My name is jamir dixon and im a locafor pg e. Rk fieldman most people in the community recognize the blue trucks as pg e. My truck is something new. Its an 811 truck. When you call 811, i come out to your house and i mark out our gas lines and our electric lines to make sure that you dont hit them when youre digging. 811 is a free service. Im passionate about it because every time i go on the street i think about my own kids. Theyre the reason that i want to protect our community and our environment, and if me driving a that truck means that somebody gets to go home safer, then ill drive it every day of the week. Together, were building a better california. Quheers plaws. Trevor welcome back. My guest tonight is United States senator representing the state of new jersey. Hes his new book is called united. Please welcome senator corey booker. applause they love you, corey. They love you. Very nice to be greeted that way. Trevor the people do love you though. I dont know about that. But i love. Trevor but you seem very handsome and likable. Thats not a question. I was just putting it out there. I will accept that. Thank you very much. Trevor thank you very much, thank you for being here. I know you are a very busy man. Your book is intriguing. It is called united. And the full title is united, thoughts on finding Common Ground and advancing the common good. Are you really from new jersey . I definitely am a jersey boy. The reality is i come from a state that is incredibly diverse. Trevor yes. Im the first africanamerican ever elected from our state. And i think its the kind of thing where we recognize applause yup, i think we recognize our diversity but we have found ways to Work Together across the lines. And im very proud of my state. Do you think that is something that you can trfers, i mean on the national level. Because everyone says in their state people go e oh, no, i find a way to Work Together. Bernie sanders says i can fine a way for us to cross over the aisle. But there seems to be a wall dividing both sides right now. I think that is a challenge i try to talk about in the book. Even in new jersey there are a lot of lines that have separated folks from urban to suburban. We fill our very segregated state in america, as many states are. And weve got to start working what i think is called courageous empathy, beginning to see each other. And if we root that as another great president said, a house divided cant stand. If we lose our able to see each other, to know each other to know we are each others greatest hope and challenge, we will weaken. To celebrate those divisions, celebrate the to celebrate the demeaning of other people does nothing but weaken the important ideals. Trevor how do you find that. Because some people go, in order for me to be on the opposite side to you, i have to hate you. People treat politics like sports right now, and just cheer for their team and they hate the opposing team. How do you bridge that gap . I have heard stories of you being one of the most affable people in the senate, corey, i heard you even talk to ted cruz. laughter i have broken bread with him. We have legislation passed together. And i think what we have to get out. Trevor you cant just skip over that. You talk to ted cruz . I think. Trevor like what do you say to ted cruz . You recognize that your differences matter but your country matters more. And you dont demonize each other. Trevor so if you done like can you say nice things about ted cruz . No you are just the first person, i will here, i have got a little jar here. What well do is i will put a dollar in the jar every time you Say Something nice about ted cruz. Sure. Obviously ted and tom both have the same last name. And thats a factor i love. laughter come on, show me the money. I can keep going. Ted cruz married a vegetarian. Im a vegan. I like that. You got to gich me that dollar, man. Are you allowed to give Campaign Contributions . Trevor were a corporation. Well hide that. Dont worry. I till have 3. My points is, but you said it right, we tend to think in order to be strong you have to be mean. In order to be tough you have to be cruel. But thats just not the case. We are a country that likes to talk about patriotism, but often it is used as a sword to say hey, im more patriotic than you. Trevor yes. If you break down what patriotism means, it means love of country. An to love your country youve got to love your country men and women. Love everyone. And love seems like a soft word but i prepare against tolerance because thats held up as some kind of ideal in this country that we tolerate each other. That is a cynical state of being. It says if you disappear frlt face of the worse, im no better or worse off. Love says i recognize that you have worth and value and that i need you. And so there is an old saying that says if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. Trevor yes. Were a nation that has to recognize that we need each other to go far. Trevor so lets talk about the supreme court. Now obviously Justice Scalia passed away. And the replacement conversation comes up. Should president obama be allowed to nominate a new justice. Now it seems like its an obvious choice and yet the republicans without him even making a decision have said they will dispute any decision. How does that help the country . Well, first of all, there is a little irony to this, scalia was an originalist. That means he focused on the text of the constitution. So if you read article 2 section 2 of the constitution, it doesnt say that the president can or the president may or the president , if hes not in his last year nominate a judge. It says the President Shall nominate. And that means that he has no choice in the matter. applause so despite to try to polit size and say the president shouldnt do, this he should just wait is really a violation of our constitution. Trevor someone sa