Hot guy walks by. [ mumbling and snarling ] [ laughter, cheers and applause ] you want me to cut you with a knife . You want me to cut you with a knife . [ snarling ] my names mo mandel. Thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon welcome owe to the daily show. Any name is jon stewart. Good show tonight. My guest tonight the wonderful jeff bridges is going to be joining us. Were very excited about that. [cheers and applause] so obviously for the past few nights weve talked about heavy, complex difficult to solve issues like gun control, the fiscal give. Girard depardus heard breakingreally heartbreaking from his beloved france. He really looks like the pixar character of himself, does he not . Tonight were going to have fun with a little piece we call. Disgraced financial institutions. Were just trying to real hard to make bleep fun. You know that bank hsbc it turns out the initials stand for holy bleep bankrupt. Hsbc is accused of transferring billions of dollars for nations like iran, doing business with firms linked to terrorism and enabling mexican drug cartels to move money through u. S. Sub sid dairies. Jon Money Laundering with drug cartels and terrorist groups. I am surprised that those people would associate with bankers. [ laughter ] they have standards. Banker slam turley an industry populated with a lot of good people. I dont want to be so hard on these guys. You know . They did business with terrorists at the bank. Everybody walked in. You dont know what they do. Its not like they were working with and counseling enemies on how to circumvent the entire security april rat russ. On at least one occasion hsbc taught them how to format messages so transactions would not be blocked by the United States. Jon are you bleep kidding me . They worked personally with these people to help them that is outrageous. I cannot believe our nations enemies are Getting Better and more personal Bank Customer service than i am. I am going to have to transfer to hsbc. We can take solids. At least the hsbc guys they are going to send them up the river to the big house. Not one person from hsbc will face prosecution. Theres no criminal charges against any of the managers or individuals who lewd this to go on. Jon yeah, no, obviously river is the big house. By river i mean the same and by big house i mean a mansion on it. [ laughter ] so what is the actual unsatisfying risk punishment here. The u. S. Government is expected to announce tomorrow that europes biggest bank hsbc will pay 1. 9 billion to settle Money Laundering charges. Jon oh, wow. 1. 9 billion. I mean thats going to take them weeks [ laughter ] to pay down. Why exactly no prosecution . The banks lawyers have argued that a successful prosecution of hsbc could have put the bank out of business in the u. S. Costing lots of jobs and disrupting financial markets. U. S. Officials apparently agreed that many many ways hsbc became simply too tboig prosecute. Jon wait that thats a thing . You can get too big to your organization can reach a certain size and importance in this country that it grants you immunity from prosecution . You somehow shoot the legal moon is that what this is . These are horrific crimes but since your bank aves are the only ones in the neighborhood, i am not going to walk five bleep blocks to a bodega atm. Ill tell you that much. So carry on. [ laughter ] not every update in this segment involves crime and greed. Theres also arrogance and general dowch doucheery. I give you aig. The company we bailed out. The shareholders have a message for america and contrary to commercials its not thank you. There are some aig shareholders bring a 25 billion suit against the government because they claim the terms of bailout were too onerous. Jon suing the people who gave you 182 billion and saved your company. I can only assume because that act filled your hearts at aig with gratitude and then your immune system then attacked that as a foreign sub stance because like native americans with small pox you had no previous exposure. [ laughter ] who is the greedy mother bleep behind this lawsuit please dont be a jew. Please dont be a jew. The man who filed the lawsuit is former aig c. E. O. Hank greenberg. Jon noo Hank Greenberg all right not necessarily jewish. He could have changed his name from stuart. [ laughter ] by the way, ive never seen a man closer to saying the words release the hounds. [ laughter ] interesting side note, maurice Hank Greenberg is not only suing the u. S. Government for so rudely saving his company, he is also attacking them in a new book set to be punished january 29. Its the exact same day that im releasing my book which is is called dont buy maurice greenbergs bleep book. If you buy only one book this year about the stupidity of a book make it dont buy maurice greenbergs bleep book. Its a ludicrous argument. Talk about the hand that feeds you. They had a choice. They could have gone bankrupt they took our cash. I was stunned about. This i think its crazy. Jon lets rein it in here. What aig shareholders are doing is objectively all of, but shock, surprising . Aig, they put the a in bleep . [ laughter ] dont you remember what happened right after we gave them the bailout money in 2008 . Only days after taxpayers provided 85 billion to bailout aig, Company Executives came here for a weeklong retreat, wining, dining and golf. Jon if anything the only thing aig is guilty of is consistency, that and a series of catastrophic investments that brought the world to the brink of armageddon but that was pretty consistent. Youll never guess what the lawsuit is based on. The lawsuit claims the terms of bailout including the high Interest Rate it had to pay were unfair to shareholders. This sate terms deprived shareholders of tens of billions of dollars. Jon guy who used to run aig is mad because when his company was hit by a calamity they clearly werent prepared for them the group that stepped in to provide funds this they need assessed the company and thought they had a preexisting condition called the money is all gone rea so they charged them a higher rate almost taking advantage of the company, profiting from their misfortune if you will csm did that upset you, aig, . Its also known as your business model. Sue me . [cheers and applause] jon hey, welcome back to the show. Detroit michigan. The city that is doing perfectly fine and needs absolutely no free outside help regarding the infrastructure. Al will explain. Government spending is out of control. Take the hard hit city of detroit. They are trying trying to builda billion dollar bridge to canada even though they have the ambassador bridge. Fortunately detroiters of all walks are taking a stand. Soccer moms. Detroit does not need another bridge. Tea partyers. Its not just detroit its michigan tasms. Even the black panthers. We dont need a new bridge. We need to spend money on feeding the needy. No second bridge period. We dont need it, we dont want it. Mo bridges, mo problems, am i right . No. Canada is acting like it makes fiscal sense for the u. S. The old bridge wont last forever. We dont know how long its going to last. Two million u. S. Jobs alone depend on the trade that that bridge carries. But you realize this is not the time for american taxpayers to be forced to pay for a new bridge. They are not forced to pay for a new bridge. Canada is page for the bridge. Thats right. People of michigan are going to have to pay for the entire wait, what did he say . Michigan will pay nothing for this bridge. Define nothing. Zero dollars, zero risk, zero liability. Define zero. No cost to michigan at all. Absolutely nothing. Define nothing again. [ laughter ] but nothing probably means something especially when you consider how many times america has been burned by slick talking canadians. Look, when politicians tell you that this isnt going to cost you nothing, grab your wallet, grab your money and run. Break wide, dude. The canadians are saying they are going to pay for this bridge. I dont trust them. They say a lot of things sometimes in french. And they buy milk at sams because canadian milk is very expensive. True story. What does that have to do with this . Nothing. Canada is offering a trojan horse. Do you think they are going to hide a bunch of canadians in there and attack us once its complete. No its not going to be canadians its chinamen. I just want americans on that brifnlg i dont want a trojan horse delivering china steel and chinamen. Just fyi i dont think anybody is using chinamen anymore. The only people eligible are u. S. And canadian workers. The United States steelworks support this project. Do you think they would support a project that uses chinese steel. Why are they pushing a proposal that allows michigan to veto the second bridge. In fact, this sweet old detroit businessman is paying for commercials warning people. Theres always hidden costs. Somebody is going to pay for that bridges and its going to be our children. Come to think of it, why does he care so much . The 258th richest man in the United States is the owner of ambassador bridge and has been since, i think 1977. You are tell meg that one man owns the ambassador bridge. Yes. You think im stupid . I dont think you are stupid at all. Its a fact. You think im sort of an bleep , dont you . I dont know how to make it clearer one man opens the most important Border Crossing in north america. Who let that happen . The voters of detroit. They allowed a private company to build and own the bridge which maroon brought 50 years later. Wait until my black panther friend finds out an old white dude owns the only bridge to cand yanch mattie maroon, yes. The leader of black panthers is protecting an 85yearold white billionaire. In this town i kick the ass not kiss it. Why is why i have a difficult time trying to tell you how to run your black panther business but i think you are working for the man. Let me get this straight an 85yearold millionaire named mattie maroon somehow owns the only bridge that connects canada to detroit, michigan and now when a rival bridge proposal comes along, he takes out an ad campaign to slam the second bridge and people are doubting the canadians . Yes. His a question what did mattie maroon think . After all this is detroit his city. A town that trusted him about the with the bridge monopoly, his office wouldnt return our calls. I am here to talk to mr. Maroon who owns the bridge. 4. 75, sir. He owns the bridge. Its sort of a monopoly. Ill be back. Hi, its me again. I want to talk to matty maroon. Thats fine. Denise, dont you think its odd that one man owns the bridge . You need to stop bleep around. Oh, well, when push came to shove 59 of the community decided not to be completely stupid and shot down prop 6 which does mean 1. 8 million detroiters still didnt want a free friggin bridge. I had one more question where bleep am i . In detroit, baby. Exactly it was getting dark. Time to get the bleep out of here. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] welcome back. My guest tonight Academy Award winning actor has written a book called the dude and the zen master. Please welcome back to the program mr. Jeff bridges. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] wooo. Nicely done. Jon what is up, man . Yeah, man. Jon its nice to sigh, my friend. How are you . Im well. Jon the dude and the zen master. I only expect you to say well because i imagine you are one of few people who can will yourself to well. Well, on a good day. On a good day, yes. Jon what is the dude and the zen master i assumed you were the zen master. Who is this other guy. Bernie glassman who is the real thing. He is the zen master. Jon bernie glassman. Hes one of you guys, yeah. Jon zen master. Top of the line. Top of the line. Jon what is for someone who introduces a moment zen every day, i know very little about it. Ha, ha. Thats right. Jon how do you become a master. Is it a philosophy, a religion, a way of life. To be a master, youve got to study with a master and then he says, tag, youre it. Jon its really not an accredititied situation. How do you know hes a master. Does he say im the zen master and youre like, all right. Hes got. Ill tell you how i know. Jon okay. Im going to make you a zen master now and perhaps you can do this on your moment of zen. Jon id like that. Okay. Jon am i going to have to walk across coals or anything . Or am i cool . Its very simple. Are you ready . Stay right where you are. Hua boom man. Jon thats it . Now you are done. [cheers and applause] now, we can continue although mine has a brownish tint to it. What does that mean a brownnose. I dont know im brown nosing. We can continue the interview. Jon all right. So thats all it takes. To see if jon im a zen master im patch adams. What did you [ laughter ] bernie is also a clown. Jon he is a clun . He is a clown, a zen master. Jon sounds lost to me. No, man. No. Jon hes found . Hes found. Jon where do you meet him . As a dinner with rahm dawes, the guy who wrote be here now. Jon come on, he is on the giants . I dont follow spirituality. Hes a good man, though . A very good man. Jon what does he help you with . What is the project you are on together . Is a journey of self exploration . Bernie was i met him at this thing. I dug the guy. We started to hang out. He says to me, by the way, do you realize that in buddha circles the dude is considered a zen master. I said what the bleep are you talking about . [ laughter ] he said, oh, yeah. He says, you know, just take it one thing who directed the movie . The coen brothers. He proceeds to tell me all the different. Jon thats a weak chi to good on. It got me. I said give me an example. He said like, well, bleep comes to light. A line from lebowski or shut the bleep up. Coen. Read the book, man jon any guy in any movie ever is the zen master. Have you ever seen good fellas. Go home and get your bleep shinebox. [ laughter ] what is it giving you . Do you practice it . Is it an art form . With zen, you mean . Jon has it given you a sense of peace or understanding . Its interconnectedness. Realizing were all until this together. That [ laughter ] we are one. We are one. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] jon it must be a ball to hang out with you guys. You hung out and had this long conversation about life and understanding. Whatever came , you know. Jon and put it together. And boom jon if. I am to read this, when i get to the end of journey of the book what is my understanding then . What is the enlightenment that i find . Thats up to you, jon. [laughter] . Jon you are a zen master. [ laughter ] yeah. Jon thats exactly what you were supposed to say. Youve done it. I forgot the nose. Jon i was really worried that it was filled with i was going to do this like [ laughter ] and that would be the end of it. It wasnt so funny for funnyman jon stewart. Im delighted i have to tell you theres nothing more than i think would be interesting and fun than to spend a weekend bleep with jeff bridges and have somebody transcribe it into a book. I think that would be awesome the dude and the zen master is on the bookshelves now. tutututuknb