Gunn will be joining us a little bit later. [cheers and applause] first like a car unable to move forward on its way to fort lee, new jersey, we [laughter] as a nation remain stuck in the news traffic jam that is Chris Christie. New evidence on what will be coming out on what many are calling bridgegate. Can the nmg new jersey governor recover from the bridgegate scannedel. Bridgegate probe. Jon bridgegate first of all bridgegate come on does every scannedel have to get a gate. Watergate was a completely different animal. It was a petty crime by an incumbent cruising to an easy reelection victory. It was an enforced error where the coverup was actually more damaging [laughter] this is no watergate. This is about a [laughter] [laughter] [cheers and applause] but the point is now that were looking at Chris Christie the hunt for christie scannedels is on. Theres blood in the water in new jersey but this time its not coming out of used syringes or discarded teamsters. Jersey city city mayor, a democrat, considered endorsing christie for reelection last year but declined to do so on july 18. Over the next two days christie appointees canceled upcoming meetings with him. He tried to reschedule but was ignored. He believes it was payback. Jon his a scheduled meeting, rend yeah view and it was postponed. Oh, the pain. Listen mayor, that may count as payback on Downton Abbey [laughter] this is jersey payback is waking up duct taped to the roof of holland opportunity during friday afternoon rushhour. Not ooh, they said what about tomorrow . [laughter] some have claimed that all of this do you like that . How could you not . How could you not . [laughter] some have claimed that all of this, the bridge shutdown, the leaning on mayors is proof that governor christie here is a bit of a bully but on fox one man was smart enough to see through all that. What about this bully narrative . I would have to say that in this sort of familiar nied familiarinnized atmosphere femininized atmosphere jon of new jersey snj . The state choose chief exports are axe body spray and lit fart . That . That atmosphere . Or do you mean the familiarinnized atmosphere in femininized atmosphere where we have to coexist together. Men have learned the hard way that if you act like an Old Fashioned guys guy you are in constant danger of looking sexist or thuggish or whatever. Jon ah, so bullies thugs and sexists are the real victims here. [ laughter ] if you think about it. [ laughter ] for not very long. [ laughter ] which is why this idea that the real tragedy in this entire situation is the overly pchave pchave vaginafication of america. Im a big target as well. If you have that tough guy image you speak bluntly, even rudely, especially if you take on certain interests, Teachers Union in Chris Christies case you run the risk of being a bully. Jon listen to how wiftful they are for the wistful they are for the old days. They are like the will wilford brimley. In the old days people said thank you and god bless you. A good meal cost a dollar. You could grab a womans breasts and say tune in tokyo as if she were a radio but i suppose times have changed. [laughter] how would it be then, if this is about the femininization of america that the toughest politician out there other than Chris Christie happens to be a woman. Political ma magazine up with a piece called hillarys hit list. A list of friends and enemies ranking them on a 17 scale with one being helpful and 7 being treacherous. Jon turns out you dont need a dick to be a dick. [cheers and applause] and you dont see you dont see her partisans crying gender politics. Would we not be talking about this if this was a man involved here . I absolutely agree. If a guy has a list of people he is not too keen on no big deal. If a woman does then its a big deal and then it becomes juicy. Jon oh, for bleep sake. Do i hate our news media. Yes, we never talk about a male politicians enemies list. The president bullying the Supreme Court and adding to his enemies list. The Internal Revenue service has been maintaining an enemys list of its own. The Police Foundation the leading think tank is on the nras enemies list. During watergate investigation the president not only bugged the Democratic National committee but created enemies list. Jon wow. A lot of people have enemies list and its kind of news worthy no matter who they are man or woman. Should i have an enemys list . I do. One word dairy you have bleep ed me for the last nonn hqrrrdx applause]d jon welcome back. Now, in 2011 fox news premiered a novel new show. It was a panel show at 5 00 with five pundits whose opinions ranged from wall street conservative to 50yearold frat boy conservative to george w. Bush conservative to conservative to fox liberal. You walk down the street you must feel like a chinaman walking in an nba rally. I would like to have a personal masseuse, preferly crean. They must teach about drug scam and pickpocket people. Iranians kill people. No more student visas for muslim students. Jon slow down thats their liberal well. More on the five its our own samantha bee. Samantha, nice to see you. Hello. [cheers and applause] now, is a samantha samantha, what do you feel like the panel shows like the five bring to the analysis of the news . Jon, im sorry please dont compare the five to other panel shows. Okay . The five is so much more than just a panel show. Its like itself. It is everything. [laughter] jon how are they different from a panel show . Jon, perhaps you are unacquainted with my one woman show inspired by the five. I shall now perform it for you. Jon actually i dont think we have easy little jon, mama is in control now. [ laughter ] jon, the five is the storyboard of the human condition and i know this because i am samantha bee, and i watch the five. The truth about the five is that its a story as old time, a story of love. [ laughter ] one that rivals the works of a shakespeare or a nicholas sparks. [ laughter ] this story of love is rooted in that deepest Human Emotion riding the boner train to poundtown. Its a tale of a winsome blonde ingenue, dana perino a young girl new to the big city with big dreams and a heart so pure she makes mary poppins look like a disgusting whore bag. Im awake by 6 30. Theres a certain word that rhymes with truck. Should the detainees be given the e word in the first place. Erot can a . I didnt say that. They dont start families because they feel like they are not financially secure to have a smart. Its not that they are not having sex. They cant say that. Its not a bleep word. [cheers and applause] now nobody falls for a good girl harder than a bad boy. And no boy was badder than the rebellicious greg. I was on percocet for seven days. Best week of my life. Im drunk now. Ive been drinking since two. I gave three people hepatitis. [ laughter ] a pill popping afternoon drunk whose riddled with hepatitis, theres got to be a catch [laughter] greg and dana were total opposites. They should never have been even seated together but once they were electric. These beautiful flowers. I want to give them to greg. Its a photo rose. Could you have them in your office. Greg was schiffal russ and gave me his one more question for greg . Is pot an aphrodisiac . Why do you do that to me . Why do you have that power. [laughter] oh, you, oh, you. [ laughter ] of course, a girl like dana shes not going to have just one suitor. Its a game of high stakes International Chess so i put together a big old chess board right here. Can camera two take this. We want to take you through how were dealing with the flu. I have to do this. What is that . Is that ketchup . Really eric prop comedy . Thats not going to work on dana. This isnt 1980 and you aint no gallagher. [ laughter ] besides greg and danas love couldnt be denied. Not that others didnt try to put them apart. [laughter] which brings us to our storys villain, a man with a soul so dark he couldnt divide greg and danas happiness. He knew exposing their secret love would be a scandal the likes of which the world had never seen. And on the day the five were outside grilling meat thats just what bob did. If we put him on here that would be the best meat youve ever had. Im sure it would be. Thats what dana tells me. [cheers and applause] big bleep mistake, bob. How about i take those suspenders and hang you by your balls . [laughter] none of it mattered. It was empty, meaningless because it turned out greg and dana had worse problems than scum bob big pants. I want to wish a happy 9th anniversary to my wife elena. He has a wife . You have a wife . Thats not something you could have mentioned in the three years youve been sitting next to dana. You twotiming monster. Letting dana, precious dana fall in love with you when you are gal vaning around the stupid is studio laughing it up with your secret wife. You know what . All the while breaking her heart youve broken all our hearts here. Take mine i dont need it anymore. Burn in hell for all eternity [cheers and applause] [laughter] jon so what is your take on the view . [laughter] oh, you know what . Its good. Its in the background when you are vacuuming or whatever. Jon on [cheers and applause] jon welcome back. My guest tonight he is the cohost of project runway. His new show is lifetimes under the gunn. Let me explain how this is going to work. Each mentor is going to choose four designers. But that doesnt mean under the gunn is a team competition. You will each be competing as individuals but in a mentoring group. Every week one designer will be eliminated by the judges. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you. And theres an ultimate runway showdown mon the finalists but the designers are not the only ones competing. When a mentor no longer has any designers on the competition, the mentor is also eliminated. Jon guess who is dvring that bleep . Welcome back to the show tim gunn. [cheers and applause] hi, everyone. [cheers and applause] jon how are you . Looking sharp as always. Im fantastic. Why do i have to follow samantha bee . Jon can i tell you something . Did she leave it out on the floor . That was like patty lapone. Phenomenal. Jon i thought it was amazing. Really. Jon how are you doing . Fantastic. Jon they finally understood the gold they had with gunn, gave you your own show, this under the gunn. No, they were desperate. Jon ah no, they really were. We were loosely scheduled to shoot a new season of project runway. Heidi was only marginally consulted. How ridiculous is that . Jon heidi klum. She said im not available. We have a pinky pact and is it that if either one of us cant do a season the other one is not doing it. They said we can find another host, i said you have to find another mentor, too. Jon you said tim gunn stands with heidi klum. I do that with heidi. Jon heidi and i also have a pinky pact. Oh, yeah . Jon if i could just get close enough. [laughter] let me ask you this. She loves you. Jon and im very fond of her. [ laughter ] you always look before you were on television did you always look this put together . Oh, you flatter me. Jon could you go outlooking like a schlub or do you feel pressure now you cant do that . I cant do it. Jon you cant . I cant. Jon thats pressure. It is. Jon sunday morning you wake up its raining out. Been a long night. Youve been doing something. You are out and tired. You want to get a paper and a cup of coffee and a biayli and a schmear. I do it. Jon what do you were . A turtle neck, a pair of jeans and put a peacoat on. Jon so you will look as good as ive every looked. You are one of best dressed guy on television. Jon can i tell you a trick. On monday i have long johns and aware a tshirt over it on monday. On tuesday, i put the t shirt on and long joan overs that. [ laughter ] and then i keep do that and they think that guy really changes his shirtz. Thats really true though, sadly. This show now have you finished taping it . We finished three and a half weeks ago. Jon a new york production . No. Jon where . Whole thing in los angeles. This is for heidi. She lives in l. A. Jon i thought she lived in new york. No, l. A. We were going to do it in l. A. Jon you went to l. A. . I did. Jon isnt it more difficult to do Something Like that because you need the access to the tremendous garment shops and the traffic say challenge. We have lots of field trips and go back and forth for the challenges. It takes time. We end up extending the work day which means the designers get less sleep. Jon how long a day do you think somebody would have there . Lets say they are on the show 12 hour, 14 . More like 18 hour day. Jon really . It is. I will tell you this though. Lets talk about a challenge setup day. We travel to where we set it up. Thats an hour. And then its all the lighting and everything else. Its an hour. You know this. Jon yes a lot of sitting around. Then we present the challenge. They sketch. We have to travel we shop and get back to the work room. By the time we get back they have ten hours to work. Jon thats why god invented adderol. [laughter] its under the gunn preers thursday. Your own show. Very excited. Thank you. Jon tim gunn, ladies and hqrrrdx jon thats our show. Here it is your moment zen. Youve been watching hannity for us every night now for five months. Yeah. [ laughter ] jon you are 23 years old . I will be 23 next month. Abraham lincoln is my name. Rebuilding the party captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, everybody cheers and applause audience chanting stephen