[laughter] but first, you know, for most of its existence, the irs was americas favorite Government Agency. [laughter] but that all changed after the irs admitted last year to certain propublica pryities. Tea party and other conservative groups that rose to power early in the president s first term were unfairly targeted for special scrutiny by the i. R. S. Jon by the way, whatever you think of the tea party movement. , i think we should agree that the only federal agency singling it out for special scrutiny is the fashion police. Pantaloons . Come on. The irs also targeted liberal 501c4s but not with the same level of scrutiny they applied to the conservatives. Thats something. I know the right that wants something to be that president obama ordered the irs to target them while he sat in a dark room smoking a cigar while an orphan boy stands outside looking through the rain saying why . Why, mr. President . Why. But as it turns out, theres been no real evidence found that the white house is involved and the cat turned out to be a dog and the orphan has parents and was putting on a british accent. But the point is this. These irs troubles do not appear to be that. But they are something. And the irs is clearly doing their best to continue to give off scandal stink like some kind of scared scandal skunk. [laughter] when we last left the irs, their official, lois lerner, had taken the fifth, rather than testify, so Congress Asked the irs if they would be so kind as to click the forward button on all of lois lerners emails. What what happened that. They say the irs has been promising to get them these emails for a year, and now suddenly they say that lois lerners computer crashed way back in 2011 and that many of those emails are just gone. Well, thats irritating. Computers do crash. Emails are lost, but typically finding that out, that information, takes less time than it takes to gestate a manatee. [laughter] a year . Come on well, First Congress had to fill out form 1218a subez. Thats an email requisition form for our records. Then we throw that form into a room filled with chimps. Then. [laughter] then what we did is we trained the chimps to read. [laughter] so things were looking good. Thats when, unfortunately, the chimps unionized. So that was the whole thing. But finally we negotiated a contract. Finally we delivered a contract the chimps didnt throw their feces at. The point is email representatives are now done through a different form, so if you can reapply, et cetera, et cetera. So it is in this environment that the new irs commissioner. Really is . You like that . The new irs commissioner, john koskinen, he comes before congress to testify. I wonder if theyre going to be dicks to him. Please rise to take the oath. Raise your right hand. A little higher. [laughter] jon wow. That was easy. Now turn around and wiggle. While we all might want to do that to the head of the irs, what does raising your hand higher have to do with telling the truth . Uh, i can lie. Wait, i can lie. Hold on. I can lie. I can lie. I can lie. I can no longer lie for my hand is too close to god. Thats him scratching gods beard. Hello all right. Enough cathartic public shaming. Where are the damn emails. Actual hard drive, after it was determined that it was dysfunctional and with experts no emails could be retrieved was recycled and destroyed in the normal process. So was it physically destroyed . Thats my understanding. So was it melted down, do you know . I have no idea what the recycler does with it. Jon for all i know lois lerners hard drive was ground into a fine dust, sprinkled lark parmesan onto a lasagna that was served to those in this very chamber. [laughter] so i say to you, congress, if you want to see all of lois lerners emails, you must look inside yourselves. Or, or you could. Or you could wait. By the way, that is a killer that guy impression. That i will use for the rest of my career. [laughter] so up until now, the whole thing is annoying. But not quite galling. Heres where it gets somewhat galling. The irs has historically only preserved backup tapes for six months. Jon all right. [laughter] the Government Agency whose entire Business Model release on forcing americans to live as borderline hoarders. [laughter] only keeps their [bleeped] for six months . No. [cheering and applause] thats unacceptable. You know, you never get a notice from the irs saying please bring your records down to us. If you can find them. Its like if the e. P. A. Was dumping its office trash in the National Zoos spotted owl exhibit. [laughter] meaning it would be ironic. But even if the irs deleted the tapes, why cant they just get the emails from her inbox. Spoiler alert its stupid and preventable. Each irs employees email box back then only held 150 megabytes of information. Also known as five pictures of your family. Or one picture of Anthony Weiners [bleeped]. Boom boom [bleeped] [bleeped] yeah. He has a somewhat large penis. 150 megabytes. Thats 1 of what gmail offers you for free. And that comes with a google plus account for you to not use. The federal government has built an entire complex in the deserts of utah to store everything americans have ever said to each other. But intergovernment conversations . [laughter] i dont know. Buy a [bleeped] thumb drive. If there is a larger scandal here, its that our governments handling of information across all platforms borders on criminal idiocy. The irs is frying hard drives, the v. A. Is drowning in paper. Is there any Record Keeping medium that the government could use that could work for them . Microfiche . Well do it. Stone tablets . Well do it. We could take a page out of the ancient greeks. Weave all of our Important Information into an epic poem and pass down from generations over a federal archival oral tradition from bard to apprentice, but you probably lose that page. Unless, wait a minute, i know whats going on here. Youre tired of governing us, arent you . And so youre kind of acting like assholes so we break up with you. Well, look, i know were not perfect as constituents and weve been in this relationship for 200 years, probably take you a little bit for granted. We want everything and dont want to pay for anything. [laughter] every yeardown birthday we throw a huge party and pretend its for you, but its really just chance for us to get [bleeped] up and stare at the sky between 9 00 p. M. And 9 25. Look, the point is this, government. No matter what you get right, were still going to find that one thing you got wrong and sign a petition about it. That doesnt mean we dont need you, baby. I want you to remember this just because were totally unreasonable doesnt mean you have to be totally incompetent. Well be right back. Will new twizzlers mixed berry bites ever end their rivalry with new jolly rancher filled gummy bites . Not today. Bites. Little greatness. So this board gives me rates on progressive direct and other Car Insurance companies . Yes. But youre progressive and theyre them. Yes. But theyre here. Yes. Are you. There . Yes. No. Are you them . Im me. But the lowest rate is from them. Yes. So thems best rate is. Here. So where are them . Arent them here . I already asked you that. When . Feels like a while ago. Want to take it from the top . Rates for us and them. Now thats progressive. Donlobster toppers event. Ew four entrees, starting at just 15. 99. Like our new lobstertopped woodgrilled shrimp. Or the new lobstertopped lobster. And now for lunch, try our new lobster tacos, just 9. 99. Ends soon so hurry in. You know, its smart tyoure not driving, but did you really need a limo . Its not for me, its for these heels. Ill call you when i get home. cell phone rings hi alison. Im home. Yeah, i can see you. Thanks again great party no matter how you get there, smirnoff reminds you to get home safely. Woo was killed june 28,2005 in afghanistan. My husbands death was the hardest thing ive ever faced. The special Operations Warrior Foundation stepped in to help. Now you can help, too. Purchase new cherry 5hour energy now through july thirtyfirst and a portion of each sale benefits special Operations Warrior Foundation to help families of fallen heroes. I will always miss my dad, but thanks to special Operations Warrior Foundation i will never feel alone. Break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. Ice breakers. Jon welcome back. Do you remember a time when barack obama was just a naive candidate saying working class voters were clinging to their guns and religion. The American People punished him by electing him to two terms as president of the United States. The frontrunners for 2016 will not make that mistake. I do not believe our great country should be playing minor league ball. Were the force for progress, prosperity and peace. She was asked about the book that made her who she is today. Her answer was the bible. Jon did she just threaten to smite her enemies. Hillarys clinging to religion whom will cling to guns. If you want to protect yourself, get a doublebarrel shotgun. If there is ever a problem, walk out on the balcony here, fire two blasts outside the house. Buy a shot gun. Buy a shotgun. [laughter] jon my favorite part of that is the dude sitting next to him like, [bleeped]. I want you to call shotgun while shotgunning a beer on the way to your shotgun wedding. Thats how much i love shotguns. Come on down to crazy joeys shotgun emporium. Clearly there is only one way to set chl democratic candidate can appeal best to traditional reagan voters. Looks like we need ourselves a good oldfashioned pooroff. I reckon its time find out which of these is just more plain folk. Madam secretary. We came out of the white house not only dead broke, but in debt. I still get emotional just thinking about it. [applause] well played, mrs. Clinton, but if i know joe biden, you just brought a 100 bill to a loose change fight. Hes Vice President of the United States of america. He makes, notwithstanding, the poorest man in congress. Jon hes so poor he cant even afford a firstperson pronoun. Your move, madam secretary. We had no money when we got. There we struggled to, you know, piece together the resources for mortgages for houses. Jon when youre appealing to the middle class, you may want to use the singular when referring to the most valuable asset most people will ever come in contact with. Biden i see an opening. For 36 years i commuted from washington, d. C. , to wilmington round trip every day. Dont hold it against me that i dont own a single stock or bond. Dont hold it i have no savings account. Jon dont hold it against me, but my clothes are made of old curtains. [laughter] dont hold it against me, but i bleep in a bucket outside. [laughter] top, that secretary clinton. Stop that. The british newspaper the guardian asked mrs. Clinton if she could be a credible champion for fighting income inequality despite her wealth. Mrs. Clinton says, they dont see me as part of the problem because we pay ordinary income tax, unlike a lot of people who are truly well off, not to exantuss. Jon i think we know who shes talking about, becky from camp, always cheating at dodgeball. Im afraid that once again youre simply no match for joe im allergic to money biden, although his i dont have any stocks story has a hole. Biden does have some money in savings and investments. His office says the Vice President was telling the truth because the investments belong to his wife. [laughter] jon hold on. Im homeless. I happen to stay in mansion belonging to my lovely bride. Kind of like the king of england. Whats with the poverty tourettes . Why do these two think we need a hobo for president. And why do they think we bleefl them. You have both have your faces on book covers, books written by them about them that. Usually means youre doing pretty good. His memoir promises to keep, earned less than 201 in royalties last year. Jon on second thought, im not sure how this guy affords a bucket to [bleeped] in. Well be right back. Looks like were about to board. Mmhmm. Im just comparing Car Insurance rates at progressive. Com. Is that where they show the other guys rates, too . Mmhmm. Cool. Yeah. Hi. Final boarding call for flight 294. [ bells ring on sign ] [ vehicle beeping ] whos ready for the garlic festival . This guy bringing our competitors rates to you now, thats progressive. n2 ina bite size new ways. To enjoy the full size sensation of peppermint and rich dark chocolate. New, york minis, get the sensation. [ male announcer ] if you cant stand the heat, get off the test track. Get the mercedesbenz youve been burning for at the summer event, going on now at your authorized mercedesbenz dealer. Hurry, before this opportunity cools off. [cheering and applause] jon welcome back. My gust tonight is an actress. Shes written a book about her experience with celiac disease called jennifers way. Pleas welcome to the program Jennifer Esposito. Hello. How are you . Nice to see you. So nice to be here. Jon nice to have you here. Hello. Hello. Jon so thanks for being here. Thanks for having me. Jon the book is called jennifers way, by way of revelation, my son has this and has a very bad case of this. Me too. Jon its very painful, and sometimes you have to convince people that its a real thing. I had to convince people for probably 20something years. Jon yes. Going to doctor after doctor after doctor saying this symptom, that symptom, theres something very wrong, and theyre saying, maybe its this, maybe its, that heres some prozac. Im like, its not in my head. Theres something really wrong. It took to the point where for me people dont understand. Theres about 300 symptoms with this disease. So for me. Jon explain very quickly some celiac disease is quite different from what its called, like gluten sensitivity, the more faddish of those types of diets. Its extremely different and that causes us severe problems. But celiac disease is an ought autoimune disease. We cant have gluten. It destroys the villi in the gut, which takes all the nutrients and the food and gives it to the body. So by the time i was diagnosed, my skin was peeling off. My knees were buckling, my hair was falling out. Jon you had actual. There were symptoms that were emotional, as well. Emotional because people dont understand most of the seratonin in the body is in the gut. So all the seratonin is in charge of making you feel good, your mood, your depression, everything. But for me, it attacked my nervous system. So i got. I had panic attacks like you wouldnt believe. Jon for the boy, he was having these terrible episodes of vomiting and then he got anemic, and he wandered around. We just thought, we were absolutely devastated and frightened that he was dying. We didnt. We couldnt figure out what was going on. And this is whats so frightening when people make fun of this gluten intolerance or gluten eating. Oh, were all on fad or diet. There are people like your son, there are people, ive heard even worse stories and people like myself that are seriously suffering. Its a very different thing. This book seriously, it took me three years to write. I wanted to write it exactly for this reason. Its a book for everyone who has ever had to say somethings wrong and really be your own health advocate. Jon to get diagnosed, its important, they have do an endoscopy, they do a biopsy of your lower intestine. The small intestine. The villi. So basically that have do that. Look, there is a blood test, but its not always accurate. They tested me for years. Nothings wrong with you. Jon do you a bakery now called jennifers way. Did you think, its a bakery, it should be a pun, like gluten for punishment . I have to try Something Like that. Honestly, im italian, and telling me i couldnt have gluten and dairy and soy, i was like, im going to be very angry or i need bake and do something. So i opened this bakery. And its for all allergens. We just opened a whole facility that we can ship anywhere in the nation. Because honestly, celiac or not, i think its coming to a point where food is so messed up that we just want good, clean food. Glutenfree north glutenfree. This is clean product without all this. I think, though, very nice, you know, the way food is going, i feel like were growing a certain point where actually everything will be gluten free because there will be no food in it. Thats it. I make bread out of air. Im going to have some plastic os. Its getting to that point. Jon i dont know where you went, but we feuder found a cenr in new york to be diagnosed, and it was great. They saved the boys existence. If you can stay away from it, you really do start the heal. There really is a cure for. This you absolutely can heal. What i always tell everyone, for me, just taking away gluten wasnt it. And it is an autoimune disease. Like with your son, its every day. Its every day and everything we eat, every time you go out the dinner. Thats why when you see other people making fun of this, its really not funny because going out the dinner is not enjoyable anymore for me. Jon theres this whole other group that people believe have jumped on it as fad. Absolutely. Jon like you would something. When they say the fatfree, but my point is the fatfree wasnt attached to a disease. This is attached to a disease. Jon thats right. Im glad its helped you so much. And now i dont feel guilty at all for punishing him with wrestling moves. I will take this boy down. So congratulations. Youre feeling good. I am. I am. Jon and the bakery is open for business. Jennifers way bakery dot com. Yeah. Jon i dont know what that means. Its basically. If you go there, i will ship you food anywhere. Jon really, for no money . Nothing. Free of charge. Jon Jennifer Esposito will ship you food. Jennifers book is on the bookshelves now. Thank you so much. Jennifer esposito. Dont miss red lobsters new lobster toppers event. Four entrees, starting at just 15. 99. Like our new lobstertopped woodgrilled shrimp. Or the new lobstertopped lobster. And now for lunch, try our new lobster tacos, just 9. 99. Ends soon so hurry in. It takes place in anhaha, cleveland. I love it babe. Im not your babe. You werent saying that this morning, when youre like. Mmmmm mmmm mmm alright were done. Break up with lingering food. ding mmmmm mmmm for that just brushed clean feeling. Eat, drink, chew orbit hey i like your ride. I just wanted to let you know. You can save a ton by switching to progressive, just like squirrel here. We offer great discounts, like responsible rider, paid in full, and homeowners. Making us number one in motorcyc