Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20141111

COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart November 11, 2014

laughter looks like obama is going to have to break out a new i just killed baghdadi hallway walk. Might i recognize something a little more psychedelic, a little more willey wonka. Its not important. The important thing is this. The leader of isis is iraqi officials are saying al baghdadi was critically wounded in an air strike this weekend. Jon or wounded. Hes dead or wounded. Not quite dead, but thats not nothing. Hes not in hell yet, but he is on the highway to hell cheers and applause thats what im talking about. Lets get some information. Where did we nail him . Where did we nail him . Accord together u. S. , an air strike was conducted targeting an isis convoy outside of mosul. An interior Ministry Intelligence official claims the strike in the town of kam. Jon the important thing is though we killed or critically injured baghdadi somewhere in that area. Its still a big mystery to u. S. Defense officials whether the leader of isis abu bag err al baghdadi was actually in a convoy that was struck saturday night. laughter jon how fitting. laughter that the United States in a bombing raid somewhere around kam or mosul has killed or injured the leader of isis or some other [bleep] guy. Who was maybe just trying to beat the rushhour traffic between mosul and kam and had an old isis shirt stuffed with newspapers so he could use the hov lane. Not exactly front page news. More of a military blind items. How did this story get so murky . Turns out it was a tweet that set off rumors of baghdadis injuries. This tweet, original tweet was allegedly from the isil spokesman, however that was very quickly denied by other isil sources who said that this twitter account was run by jordanian intelligence. Jon great, no, so we think we killed baghdadi because jordanian intelligence is catfishing isis, thats just great. So for the foreseeable future, we have to assume baghdadi is both dead and not dead. The paradox known as schrodenes terrorists. Look, hopefully this will discourage people though now from joining isis. Foreigners looking to join isis an other militant groupsni are now traveling by cruise shipnr to avoidnr airporo securityni. nr laughter jon we are truly screwed. Because if these people are so committed to jihad that they are willing to risk everything, including going on a cruise ship. laughter and becoming inmates on a floating poop prison, interesting joyce, the cruise ship. I mean theres obviously downsides, the path to jihad could be longer. You have all those stops, various ports of call. You have to balance your hatred of infidels with the lure of duty free. And when you finally reach the terror camp, there willco be nonr hiding timse glorious eight days ancef ennights. laughter we cant trust to stay dead, we cant trust cruise ships s there anything we can trust in this fight. I want the American People to understand how this effort will be different from the wars in iraq and afghanistan. It will not involve american combat troops fighting on foreign soil. Jon yeah. American troops are going to be fighting. Theyre going to be fighting on our soil against laughter wait a minute. You know what . It is comforting to hear our president say on National Television there will be no combat troops involved. Today president obama authorized the deployment of 1500 more u. S. Troops to iraq to help in the fight against isis. With this expansion, the number authorized has grown from 275 in june to 3100 tonight. Jon what the [bleep]. You said no troops and in five months weve increased u. S. Troops in iraq by ten times. At that rate, by 2016, everyone on earth will be in iraq fightingni isis. Were going to have to recruit people rom isis to fight isis. And those troops are boots on the ground. You said no boots on the ground. The ground would get no boots the American Forces that have been deployed to iraq do not and will not have a combat mission. Their mission is to advise and assist our partners on the ground. Jon oh, im sorry, that was my mistake. Im sorry. So its not 3,000 troops, its 3,000 advisors. Okay. Well, you know, thats a lot of advisors. laughter i feel like after the first 2,000 give their input, its mostly going to be like i just want to reiterate what tony said. You know, maybe, maybe the pentagon can spin this a bit better. Less than half of them will be dedicated to the advise and assisting. And of that number, and its around 630 or so, it is important to remember that a good chunk of that will be enablers for the advisors, logistics, command and control, intelligence support for them. Jon okay, okay, okay. So half of the troops are advisors. And half of that half are going to be advisor enablers. Which i guess is standing behind the advisors going, i dont know, that sounds like good advice to me. laughter i would listen to that advice if i was obviously im not giving the advice. Im just a gentleman behind him. I believe this is all sounding a little [bleep]. The remainder of the number which is, i guess, about 870, Something Like that, they will be dedicated to this building partner capacity mission, to the handson training. Jon you know the more out of your way you go to call these not boots on the ground, the more were going to think that it is. So now were going have 3,000 troops in iraq again. Can we at least agree to stop it right there before we get stuck all the way back into the quagmir quagmire quagmire. Should we expect that more troops may be needed before this is over . You know, as commander in chief, im never going say never. Jon you know what that sounds like to me, suit up old moon laughter theres a partner Capacity Building mission in fallujah we need your advice on. We need your advice on. Well be right back. This is a pip. Its part of a hersheys bar. We break it. We bite it. We sneak it. We smoosh it. We savor it. We love it. Hersheys is mine, yours, our chocolate. When you set out to you obsess over perfection, elevate form, evolve function, and reinvent a category. cheers and applause jon welcome back to the program. Law enforcement, Law Enforcement is a difficult job but recently there have been examples of Police Shooting first and asking questions, not asking questions, just shooting. Thankfully, one Police Department is taking an innovative approach to problems, Jordan Klepper has more. Confidence in the police is at an alltime low. With the recent events in ferguson and eight miles away from ferguson and over here and there, and right here, here as well, and staten island, pretty of all over the country, its no wonder many communities like this one in new swrersee have lost faith in the police. Im more afraid of the police than i am of criminals. There needs to be more transparenty and oversight. They need to train how to deal with the community. The two Police Officers at the end of the panel, what are your guys thought. Im not a cop within yeah, were just white. So you are just white guys and you still dont like the police. I want to like the police but ive dealt with the police. So its hard. Okay, let me look into this. How do police restore public trust. One department is stack elling the problem head on by launching a brandnew sensitivity Training Program. Officers phil of the austin pd. We had ray couple of fairly controversial Police Shootings. And my assistant chief called me and asked me if we could get some kind of training to try to prevent future shootings from occurring. It is great to hear that a Police Department is finally taking the steps to protect the most vulnerable members of our society from being shot at. We always shoot for best practices. We always try for best practices. So how do you train officers to be more sensitive and maybe less trigger happy . I met with Program Founder jim to find out what exactly this training entailed. Basically the program is actually to keep Law Enforcement officers across the country an even here in austin, i want them to try Something Else other than just pulling their gun and shooting. Shooting should come when . As a last resort. Thats why i still officers use their baton. Take your baton out there, theyre going to bite your baton first. What. Every animal can bite. Animal is a tough term. Well, theyre all animals. Theyre not all animals. Im talking about dogs. Oh. Youre not training Police Officers to not shoot people, its to not shoot dogs. Xd exact ohninr, i see. Oh, thats soni sad. But why dogs. Maybenr Margot Frasier of the. Pd have an answer. There is more reaction when a dog is shot, as far as public outcry, as far as calling our office. The phone system essentially gets shut down. Thats when people start calling. ni thats when the calls come. How could humans careni more about dogs than other human a where, look at this cutie. Just adorable. Who is a cutie, whos a cutie . Oh okay, i get it. Theres a special emotion that a lot of people have about dogs. Yeah. What is it . Because theyre so cute. Their wet noses, i like the wet noses,. Sounds like you are a dog person. I love dogs. Keep you warm at night, they cut Peanut Butter on your theyre just very loving. Thats why we want to protect them. If someones cat family pet we would not want to shoot it. You cant shoot cats now, would you shoot a parrot that said the austin pd are a bunch of pussies. No, i wouldnt shoot that parrot. So it sounds like the program is working. Its too early now to tell what the numbers might be. But just the fact that were making an effort, that puts us in a better light. What about a sensitivity Training Program for officers that deals with shooting humans. We give officers a lot of training in that regard. Officers are given an assignment to go out and introduce people, normally its an underserved portion of the community, be itnr4 mju , gay, by sexual. Youre telling join the austin poiiaenr department i could get paid to observe lesbians . That could be an assignment, yet. How threatening are lesbians an zero to sexy. Threat are not threatening just the fact that they are lesbians. Yet some people in other communities think training isnt enough. Sensitivity training that they already have is it is a systemic problem so i think that any solution you are going get is going to come along side a cultural shift. But cultural shifts take decades. If only there was a quicker way to make people as sympathetic and hugable as dogs wait a minute, thats it. Finally, a bulletproof solution for those who might otherwise be targets of police. Keep it safe, doggie st applause conv.  Jordan Klepper, well be Jordan Klepper, well be right back. Guinness master brewers tproudly introduce new guinness blonde american lager. Deliciously crisp and flavorful, brewed with mosaictm and willamette american hops and using centuries old guinness brewing artistry and traditions. The First Addition in the new guinness discovery series. Discover a new age of brewing excellence for yourself. New guinness blonde american lager. There it is. This is where i met your grandpa. Right under this tree. man some things are Worth Holding onto. Theyre hugging the tree. man thats why we got a subaru. Or was it that tree . man introducing the allnew subaru outback. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. [but the more you learn abouty insurancyour coverage,bout it. The more gaps you might find. Like how you thought you were covered for this. [boy] check it out,mom [prof. Burke]when youre really only covered for this. Or how you figured you were covered for this. When youre actually paying for this. You might be surprised at whats hiding in your coverage. Talk to farmers and get smarter about your insurance. We are farmers bumpadum, bumbumbumbum [announcer] call 1800farmers and see how much you could save. cheers and applause nimynrnr jon welcome back. My guest tonightni, oh, theynr q there, came together, the coauthor, we have the new book outlaw pete pless welcome to the program Bruce Springsteen and frank caruso. cheers and applause nininr please, have a seat. conrncicocod i now, now, i want to benrni clear. For thosea5nico ofnininrconi yo aboutcoutlaw pete,nin i for ti ofni you in the audience who know you, mr. Springsteen, only as an author laughter you also have aconr aninr musicl cheers and applause now, f u9 illustrater. Vvannr love the mug Bruce Springsteen. I do. Jon how do you get inco contact to suggest this idea of an illustrated outlaw pete. Outlaw pete is a fabulous song. Well, i think i did a bunch of sketches and showed them to my friend dave marsh. Jon oh s so dave marsh. Dave was pretty hip on it. Jon basically is a springsteenologist who basically has archived and chronicled, the chronicles of springsteen. Thats well put. A few things sqz and dave says i know bruce, i can get new touch with him. We figured, lets run it by him. Jon that would be a wise choice. That was the first thing to do, to do that. And i was doing daves show, working on another book and i finished the sketches for this, very rough, very rough. And floated them by bruce. Jon dave marsh comes by and says i have thisg8z has drawn some pictures. He doesnt do that. Jon what does he do . co basicallycnathere is a huge pile of stuff, and a little when i come down in the morning, sometimes i wandercoco3 jon the pile room. ninrnr and i start siftl whatever is there. So goingni through idrnko ini camei upon franks itches. And they were sent to me by dave. And i looked at them and i had said these are good, these are good. And i said well, maybe i will call him and see what see what this is. Jon how many years after you submitted this to the pile room laughter jon did mr. Springsteen find his way. After greeting of asbury park. Jon now this is also, i want to show, i dont know if i can get this, can we get this on there, can we get that . Now this is what appears to be a youngco cowboy wearing a i want to be clear, this is not a kidsni book. Well, it is a kids book. And we figured if they could take the the. Jon all right. They would be able to handle what was in this book. Jon now there is a gentleman in here, there is a gentleman in here who takes what i believe is a knife to the chest. Yes. Jon so so all right. I just want to be clear that when you are reading this at bedtime, and the child says oh, does that come out. Does that no, he died, honey. What is the isnrconi this ts is just charts the story of outlaw pete. Yes, its the story of this little baby bank robber. Jon six months old, already spent months in jail if i remember correctly. As he goes through life. Its kind of an existential fairy tale. We dont like to write down to our audience. Jon exactly. I like it very much. Are we going to see more collaboration . Are we going to see . Because you have, letsni face facts there are an awful lot of literary type characters in your songs. There is anxdcsr awful lot that could beco done there, visually in terms ofcoo books. Is this a oneoff type ofte aeri what areni we dealing with . laughter we only met a little while ago. Jon do you it is more of illustrating a character than a song. Jon thats interesting. You see this more of the story of outlaw pete not the song of outlaw pete. It was the story that bruce wrote. It is really franks book. Outside of looking at the drawings, laughter cheers and applause im going have you switch thesefoco 1pny you can draw . Are you a gentleman no, i cannotni,co cantnrconi do stick figureprni, that is what i got. Jon im gladni to know that. Because i feel like heres how much i admire you. I feel like if you wanted to draw, andco that would can you sing . No. Jon you are a perfect match. laughter joo. Jon now the thing about, what is always interesting, i see your music, you start out a baby and grows to be a man. I see your whole catalog as sort of cataloging that journey. A bit of a microcome, is that what spoke to you about the project. Yeahnrni,ni the songs overnie years,co you see them different ways. When this one hit, it played out as this book. The character, the music, the way he sang it. And it told a story. There was a lot i could do. Jon i think thats very interesting. Because im the same way. When i was younger i related to certain songs. Maybe blinded by the light, maybe more, you know, those sort of more exi tension, more trippy as i got older, a little more yearning, you know. Got into the river, the rising, all that. But now that im the age im at, i stand in front of the mirror, naked, and you know what i sing . You want to know what i sing. I will tell you what i sing my citys in ruin laughter my citys in ruin i love, and the drawings, a lot of different styles, thats what i like about the illustrations, many different styles of it which i thought was interesting. The song matures. The character grows up. Jon and the drawing as well. Its mood, the feeling, the song, the music. Jon very nice. You didnt do anything. I just catalog all the terrible things. Jon you still get half, 50 , what do you get here . The kids running a racket. Jon outlaw pete is on the book shelves now, go get it. Bruce springsteen, frank Bruce Springsteen, frank caruso. To help spread some holiday cheer. Before earning 1 cash back everywhere, every time; and 2 back at the grocery store. Thank you even before they got 3 back on gas, all with no hoops to jump through, a couple was inspired to use their bankamericard cash rewards credit card to throw the ultimate Ugly Sweater Party of the season. Thats the spirit of rewarding connections. Apply online or at a bank of america near you. Rich, chewy caramel rolled up in smooth milk chocolate. All aboard. Rolo. Get your smooth on. When you set out to you obsess over perfection, elevate form, evolve function, and reinvent a category. Jon thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is, our moment of zen. 25 g would lookni like, thatsni and so not a large amount. Andni th dnr number of joints, f you will, that could be made from that, that amountnyonrniccn varies significantly depending on how muchnini they put in captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh.

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