The fao schwartz store. Our team put together some individual highlights of the five of us. Im going to go first. Watch this. Kevin. What about he kevin . That was a special break slub. Im so sorry. The scar i have is when i fell off a threewheeler. [ laughter ] so bad. Jessie asked me if i was wearing heels. Im so short. But we were told to wear our flats. Is that better . I want to make sure Everybody Knows at home, dana is wearing heels. She is shorter im not wearing heels. She is even shorter than she appears at home. Danas corny jokes. Which letter is the coolest . What do you call a running turkey . What do you call a short court trial . Can i show that . I know weve got to go. Day that loves her chart. 7 00 in the morning you get eight charts from dana. Didnt you thinke think it ws interesting . I opened it and i closed it. Who sends charts before 9 00 a. M. Let me tell you about jasper. My dog jasper jaspers birthday. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Chasing people around with a reptile, each going into the with it. Hello, dana. Hi, mom. [ laughter ] i just wanted to tell you that youre not in trouble. Im going to try, p then. I im going to cry then. I cant believe that all happened. You had a wild year. There were a lot of highlights, a lot of low lights. By the way, those arent jokes. Those are riddles. Are you surprised how often you say jasper . I am amazed. Do iam amazed. Do i take a ls in. Either that or people on the show dont like watching you again. I dont think theyre bad. I would call them jokes. They make me laugh. But a joke is different than a riddle. Can i tell you something about your height . Thats a fantastic thing, you would make a great professional snowboarder or gymnast. My oldest daughter reached a milestone this year, because shes dana plus three. Shes 53 . Do you know what i could do with three tra extra inches of height . I could reach more things. My mom was 411 but i never noticed it. Short people are larger thn life. What im looking forward to is the next roundup. Take a loo jessies take a lk at jessies highlights. There we go, get it locked in. Civilization was going down when i joined the five. John fund had a piece of National Review today. I read that, Andrew Mccarthy had a great piece in the National Review today. Whats so funny . I think we should use more movie clips in the show. Its like youre not funny enough to get the audience to laugh a little more. Youre the king about what aboutism. This is a what aboutism. Finally, somebody to defend what aboutism. Finally, stop talking about your hair. I have a new hair style im debuting and take it around the table. Its a little different. I feel like im considered a metro sexual. You blowdry your hair. How would i look with hair like that . There it is. Its the same. My mother told me to stop talking about my hair. I was severely bullied at as a child. You deserved it. Ive always been bullied. Juan has been exhibiting signs of trump derangement syndrome. Hes extremely short. Hes extremely short. [ laughter ] jessies staring at us. What aboutism and hair. Are those my highlights . I cant believe they didnt show your jacket. I love your jackets. You wear the lightest, most beautiful jackets. You mean the powder blue . Hes the li the liberace of x news. The big star is your mom tags. We should do the whole show on that one. Make it easier for the rest of us. Easier than facebook friday. You know your mom gave me that trump countdown clock. It speeded up, mom. I need more. Its eight years, not four. I love having you here. Well, thank you very much. Next, we get a real treat. Heres juan. Guess what and guess what, guess what, because guess what. Take a look at my grandkids, folks. Eli is starting third grade, the girls are off to first grade. I brought back pictures of rafi and morgan. Heres their magic moment exchanging rings with father c. J. Heres me cutting my wedding cake. These are the dog days of summer. Big boys cry too. Folks, im all shook up. Saturday it was girls gone wild in d. C. Talk about jump out of the frying pan into the fire democrats arent to blame. Come on, man. Come on, lady. Come on. Anyway, the larger point, to my mind which im right. Well, thats always true. Thats always true. You have the optimism swirl, you have the peace pendulum. What is the democratic platform . We change our memories. Youve all gone down and then its interesting, because the answer is juan one. Williams congratulations. By the way, do i get a little more respect having won both the supermarket and no, you get no respect. Thanks, juan. [ laughter ] you know what i realized . Your one more thing intros is what the local news caster does. Guess what . Come on. Thats the way it rolls. I like it. And then a facial expression. And then a you left out the i dont know whats going on at this table. Im sitting here at this table. Thats a perpetual state. Thats always for me. I tell you, thats a lot of fun to see. Its selfrevelatory. I loved how much you love your family. Thats wonderful. You talk about them and you give people a glimpse inside. They think that youre the worst person on the planet, a lot of people. When they meet your family they realize youre deeply connected. The fact that you raised republicans, they think i was born without a family or never had a family or the thing about guess what is that could be any year. I do it all the time. As much as they give you a hard time its spreading. Because you keep doing it. Now everybodys doing it. You hear it everywhere. Well, yes. You must watch a lot of tv. I do. Guess what . We have more tv to do. Well have a chance now to go down gregs memory lane. Watch this. Its all abou vowels. Shes snorkles with mac macarond skis in a sugar bowl. A staple is her balance beam. Im going to watch your special coverage, the bold and the bear, the bear means everything. One more thing, one more thing. Can i say one more thing . The green food in the d. C. Bureau is not good. I knitted lou dobbs a body suit that he wears on the weekend. We go to the park and use our body weight as resistance training. Born to be wild, the life and times of lou dobbs. The book is doing great. Its the gutfeld monda monologu. I forgot to sign them. My tie . Now . I need a mic. Its a crazy show. Anyway, im going to be at dallas im going to be in fort worth, texas. Its time for animals are great, animals are great, animals are great. This hampster is great. You know what animals really great . How about a little duck . Animals are great, animals are great. Its incurable. You know, you can define your year as animals are great and your book. And dobbs. Dobbs, my book and animals. What else do you need . Sounds like an ideal weekend. If i invent one thing and no one ever remembers anything else, its animals are great. Pretty good. What happened with brett saying captain kangaroo. He was wrong . Captain kangaroo sang an entirely different song. Ironically his name is bear but he doesnt know much about animals. One thing you brought on the book tour is that little kids that watch the five, they love to watch one more thing, they love if you have at one little animal thing or one yelling thing, like somebody acting silly, kids like it. Do you remember when you watched a show as a kid and you liked it but you didnt know what was going on. Thats you, greg, do it for the kids. Do it for the kids, like the sweater with the santa on the unicorn. Do you bring it out every year . It was sitting on a shelf for 365 days. Did you have it cou collanda . Whats that. Its an old word fo for tailoring. When i go out into the world, i say lou, dont complain to me. When i go to the d. C. Bureau, i say this is between you and greg, not me. Leave me out of it and dana comes up to me and says dont you think hes making fun of me . I say, no, its in good fun. Talk about good fun. Watch kennedy. Oh, no. Im just watching the fireworks with a basket of popcorn. This i kanard deperdeau. What are you saying, you want the president to have another summit with president putin. I give up. I think i broke my foot. I was kicking a shark in the face. I have a vision of Robert Mueller like a painter, standing in front of the canvas saying im an artist, you never know when its done. You hit the nail on the head, miranda. Its charlotte. Youre miranda, i am charlotte. Western europe needs destiny childs bills, bills, bills. My mom works for the 230e7b e company. I told her i was spending the night at a friends house but i really went to the republican convention. My mom was a life car long life. All i do is go to youtube and watch crying hillary supporters from election night. It needs more than 1 . This is a drink called the hillary. Celebrate national tequil at th, smashed black berries, and tequila to get you hammered to help break the glass ceiling. Youre always good for a few laughs. Bless your bones. You know youre funny . Its an inside joke. Theres an arrest core that went up an anchor that went up to kennedy and said you know youre funny . For a broad. Yeah, for a broad. It wasnt lou dobbs. You know the shows that used to do flashback episodes . I hate that. I love flashback episodes fls sometimes. What happened to the chick . Is it okay . The duckling changed species and turned into a beautiful swan. Is that what they become . Im curious, what do people ask you about the five . They always ask about juan and why do you guys let juan get away with so much . I think juan feels ex aspirated. When i was filling in for you the other night at the women of worth ceremony you backed out of that. I was at a funeral. Never mind. A young man who worked in the hotel said youve got to look out for juan. Hes my guy. I watched fox and i watch the five for juan. So all right. They always want to knowmy uncle has a crush on you. You cant drink alcohol on tv. You told me now. Did it taste goods . It was fantastic. Ive got one called the sweet chariot. You can drink on commercial breaks. I do. Youre scott adams. The producers, unbelievable. The best of, the worst of time. Its always the best of times on the five. That would be a good lead for a book. Which one . I dont know. Please dont write another book. Youve written enough. Up next, everything is bigger in texas including the barbecue. Our tasty trip to dallas is next on the fives Christmas Eve special. Is next on the five Christmas Eve special. Managing my type 2 diabetes wasnt my top priority. Until i held her. I found my tresiba® reason. Now im doing more to lower my a1c. Once daily tresiba® controls blood sugar for 24 hours for powerful a1c reduction. Tresiba® is a longacting insulin used to control high blood sugar in adults with diabetes. Dont use tresiba® to treat diabetic ketoacidosis, during episodes of low blood sugar, or if you are allergic to any of its ingredients. Dont share needles or insulin pens. Dont reuse needles. The most common side effect is low blood sugar, which may cause dizziness, sweating, confusion, and headache. Check your blood sugar. Low blood sugar can be serious and may be lifethreatening. Injection site reactions may occur. Tell your prescriber about all medicines you take and all your medical conditions. Taking tzds with insulins like tresiba® may cause serious side effects like heart failure. Your insulin dose shouldnt be changed without asking your prescriber. Get medical help right away if you have trouble breathing, fast heartbeat, extreme drowsiness, swelling of your face, tongue or throat, dizziness or confusion. I found my tresiba® reason. Find yours. Ask your Diabetes Care specialist about tresiba®. This is moving day with the best inhome wifi experience and millions of wifi hotspots to help you stay connected. And this is moving day with Reliable Service appointments in a twohour window so youre up and running in no time. Show me decorating shows. This is staying connected with xfinity to make moving. Simple. Easy. Awesome. Stay connected while you move with the best wifi experience and twohour appointment windows. Click, call or visit a store today. Jessie said that music is terrible. Thwhat is that. Thats whats my name from the clash. Typical christmas music. Written by keith levine. He wrote that in a hallway, that song. That. Song. Youre off topic. We take a look back at some of our memorable moments from the year. Everyone knows ribs are some of my favorite foods. I couldnt miss the chance to try texas style barbecue when we headed to dallas before the midterms. Everybody, were here at the hard eight pit barbecue in dallas, texas which is amazing. Ive got greg and jessie with me here. Are you ready to eat. T . Were so hungry. At 5 36 p. M. Every day in the commercial break, you ask this question. Every day at 5 36, greg in the commercial break will ask what am i going to eat tonight and its usually ribs. I think i eat ribs four times a week. Whats in gregs cup, by the way . Is that sweet tea . I call it sweet h tea. Some people may call it hard tine. I may hate the democrats, i may hate the libs, but man, i love ribs. You can tell that the Dallas Cowboys lost by the mood of the place. You can feel it because the redskins just beat the cowboys. Theres a little bit of a pall over the crowd. Cowboys and indians were a rivalry a long time before football. I think this is our first road trip with jessie. Any advice for me on the road . [bleep] Lawrence Jones is here with us, hes from texas, you know him from fox news. Ets bring in Lawrence Jones. This is your recommendation. Why did you pick this place . You used to come here a lot . Yeah, because they dont rush the process. They season their meat. They marinate it and then they put it in the smoker, get that extra flavor in there and its so good, right . When they say everything is bigger in texas, what specifically are they referring to . Jessie, this isnt some kind of sick waters world game. The state fair, the guns, the buildings. The only thing thats not big is the taxes. We dont have a state tax. Jessies hair is big. Big hair. See that thing up there . Thats a wolverine. You know what a wolverine is . Its half wolf, half erine. Thats worth more than the mega millions. That is a lot of meat. That looks good. Is this gregs dream come true . Im taking this picture so i can look at it when i go to bed tonight. Do people eat one of these by themselves . We have linemen that come in from the Dallas Cowboys that will dough viewer on devour one. Whats the key to the barbecue . Its the National Past time for texas. Everybody does that, everybody barbecues. Some were saying beto orourke wants to get rid of barbecue in texas. What do you think of that . Anybody in the state of texas can commit political suicide by saying that. You fill these all the way up with wood, it will burn all night long. The guys get here at 5 00 in the morning. We start getting ready for the day. Have you ever put a small boy in there, about the size of greg . Can you close that . Well, its hard. Its hard to do a segment that involves eating. Especially if youre starving. I didnt speak the entire segment. The producer had to get in my ear and say stop eating, jessie, say something. You stop doing your job. I remember you bragging for the whole rest of the trip how that wolverine joke was. You liked it. I didnt even think it was that good. It was so dumb. It was so dumb. And ive got kids who tell dumb jokes. Thats a dumb joke, not a dumb riddle. I was working. We werent working at all. When i saw you, i was surprised, you said its too spicey. You love spicey food. It was caught in my throat. I have a small throat. You have some unusual okay. Go to the pharmacy. [ laughter ] i love th the brisket. I let you have the sides. Laurens grandmother made an excellent desert, a corn desert or something. It was like a sweet pumpkin pie. It was insane. It was a mother or grandmother. She owns a bakery. Its her bakery. He mentioned it when we did the show at fmu. It blew out the internet because everyone was trying to order it. That can happen. That and Kim Kardashians bottom, apparently. Well, i speak wolverine. Should i move on . Juans all access look behind the scenes at this years major league allstar game when we return. Allstar game when we return. Hey yeah . I switched to geico and got more more savings on Car Insurance . They helped with homeowners, too ok plus motorcycle, boat and rv insurance geicos got you covered like a blanket houston . You seeing this . Geico. Expect great savings and a whole lot more. Merry christmas, everyone. Live from americas news headquarters, im anna koman. No resolution to the partial Government Shutdown in sight. The president and Melania Trump are spending christmas in washington, d. C. They arrived at the cathedral for a late service last night. Mr. Trump would have most likely preferred attending services in near his estate in palm beach, florida. The president wants 5 billion for the border wall. Pope francis is urging christmas to foregrow the materialism of christmas and focus on the message of simplicity, charity and love. He celebrated a Christmas Eve mass last night. During the homily he said many people find meaning in possessions. Heavy losses on wall street rippling around the world. Japanese stocks plunged 5 . Other major u. S. Stock indexes fell more than 2 monday. Analysts say president trumps twitter attacks on the Federal Reserve spooked the market. Wall street is closed today in observance of christmas today. Now back to the five, christmas special, merry Christmas Everyone and soon a happy new year. A beautiful sight, were happy tonight,. Walking in a Winter Wonderland. Gone away is the blue bird. Here to stay is a new bird. Sings a love song welcome back. We hope you and your family are having a very merry Christmas Eve. Im a hugeil baseball fan. As was the thrill of a lifetime for me to be at the mlb allstar game in d. C. In july. Its time to take you behind the scenes for all the major league action. Big boys dreams come true. Im juan and i get to go to the allstar game for the first time in my baseball fans life. Its also a dream come true for a little boy named juan. Im going to the allstar game. Can you believe it . Allstar game. So im a National SeasonTicket Holder and i wanted to tell you guys and showm you guys where i sit when i come to have some fun. Time off means baseball for me. This is where i sit at nationals park. I want to show you where charle