And when it did the media could not contain their excitement. The james comey but actually came out early. Oh, good evening, rachel. I want to see how the investigation turned out. Breaking news, they can read. Greg no one said me a book and everyone else got one and it made them feel so funny inside. Comey went further than you were expecting even more so than when he talked about in the book. He is not fully back on President Trump in any way, shape or form. He talked about how the auto body experience and it mustve been an out of body experience. They keep saying that six kids, this aint the bible. Its a freaking book of gossip by a better asked. Heres one revelation. Comey says compromise about something. I thought of new york mafia social club. The Italian Mafia called itself [inaudible] and they draw a line between someone who is a friend of yours meaning someone outside the family and someone who was a friend of ours meaning an official member of the family and the president elect is trying to make a same thing and that made it a thing of ours six tshirt rachel read the entire book audience. It was like a bedtime story for communist party cat ladies. [laughter] but trump is like a mafia boss and file that under the. Anyone who saw the debate knows that. Every day he got a hit on a bible. [laughter] the fact is he is a billionaire Real Estate Developer in new york city. You think he never had to deal with actual mafia bosses . Why do you think he is the way he is now sorry, when america hears comey wind that trump is like a mafia boss they go, no [bleep], sherlock. [laughter] that is why we like him. Think about it. Would you rather have dealing with the likes of north korea of this or someone who reminds you of a grad school pa poetry to his cats. [laughter] now, i dont know that he does that and okay if i were trump and asked about being called a mob boss i might say im deeply flattered and then i would hand out red hat thats a mafia instead of [inaudible] and we had that made. Twentyfive dollars if you wanted bottom line, it comes down to one that. Theres a certain kind of person designed to be president from the getgo and they look like this or this or this. Trump is not them and he is trump. Someone unaccustomed to the purity test all politicians can fake which is why the public doesnt care and they know what he is. He may be a mafia boss but he is our mafia boss. [laughter] they are applauding for the mafia. They are applauding for the mafia. While the media spews crap how does america feel about it . All of this is about behavior prior to election designed to unseat a president based on a emotional injury that occurred on november 8, 2016. What unites anti troopers is ptsd, President Trump stress disorder. [laughter] the media says trump is using poor policy to distract from scandal but its the opposite. The scandals are designed to keep him from doing his job and that is how america sees it. That is how i see it. And i am america. [laughter] yes, i am. [cheering and applause] im kind of shape like america and america wanted to keep doing his job because so far hes done with china, isis, taxes and what a story but that would be. First, an outsider is elected to disrupt the system. Second, he actually disrupt the system, third, the media and their democratic enablers without for the use everything in their power to remove him. Now they succeed they will remove one of the most radical political figures in recent memory using behavior that was prior to the election. Anti trump, have you thought this through . If youre not careful you will turn trump into a massive folk hero and 70 Million People will be at your doorstep and it will be to seeing you got a friend. [laughter] lets welcome tonights guests. My favorite butcher, she cut through the bologna. I almost said something else. Jedediah. [cheering and applause] like a well oiled stopping cart he will have you rolling in the aisles, actor, comedian jamie. [cheering and applause] shes got more baggage than a samsonite salesman. Kat sims. [cheering and applause] and he hates ceiling fans. My massive sidekick tyrus. [cheering and applause] jedediah, a lot happen this week and call me, comey, comey. What you make of this contract. The book sounds terrible. I didnt get it copied either but every excerpt i read made him less and less likable as a person and this guy i mean, he stooped to the lowest level. Hes talking about trump thai and his under eye circles like is in a tanning bed and its any shred of credibility that this guy had, which i dont know how he could have any after not indicting Hillary Clinton frankly, but any shed that remains has been lost from the excerpt that i read and, you know, there are some people in this world that want to be in front and center of the camera all the time and this guy is one of them. Any opportunity like someone had him a show because hes begging for it. That is what he wants. Greg what, tyrus . Tyrus you better not. I warned you about hillary on sunday and if kobe gets one im done. Im out. Greg heres my sunday lineup. You got hillary at 8 00 oclock because that provides fodder for fox and friends the next day followed by comey and its called the comey confessional. [laughter] sorry, tyrus. Jamie what about the freda files . Because of the things before a godfather, i believe it was. Greg what you make of his response . I honestly thought he may be overreacted. Why even respond to thank you. Thank you. Youre welcome. It is a tellall book and really do people do what tells book. Its all of it and i thought the thing about i thought trump should have let it roll off the shoulders especially the thing about the story that was in there russia and the prostitutes and i thought should make an excuse and said its not what everyone thanks and i just dont speak fluent russian and they completely misunderstand me. I walked in it was like what are you guys doing and i said theres a leak in the state. [laughter] greg that would work. I said we should get three hot plumbers not three hot prostitutes. [laughter] thats my idea. Greg that is very good. Cat, what you make of this book seven theres nothing wrong with reading poetry to your cat, gr greg, first of all. Greg thats what you got from this p7 thats what i got from your monologue. Greg that was directed to insult you seven i thought so. I agree with jedediah. She made comments about the tiny hands and are be done with a tiny hands yet thats like the biggest hack joke in the world and im surprised that the next sentence wasnt why didnt the chicken cross the road thats how hackett was. Youre not Regina George and you are a former fbi director and you can act like a grownup. He wants to be Regina George. Greg was Regina George . Seven mean girl. Greg i was not intending i knew who was. I was afraid the camera was on me to. It is. Greg tyrus, what you make of the whole what is wrong with having a mafia boss is the president . Tyrus well, as long as his name is alfredo its not too bad. Heres the thing, obviously from the day they met trump and comey did not like each other. Its not a match made in heaven and he felt he was fired by someone who was inferior to him so that the anger comes from. I am willing to suggest that if we got our hands on the book that wasnt cut and pasted by the liberal media that might be a better read. I think theyre doing a disservice and i have not seen the book but they are taking pieces out and forming a different thing. I think theyre making him and i think that doing a horrible the service to comey because you have not read the book and im not saying hes obviously better. Listen, if i got fired by a guy smaller than me that i could beat up i might, i might, i might when my book comes out say some terrible things about his animal choices that arent real. [laughter] are that heap but schools around the office that i trip over and i might have issues with some things that i get in understand that weve all been fired and ive never said what i got fired but i was glad to be there. Sorry, they fire me. I feel this is more the media like lets take this one thing and lets say this. Ill wait till i read the book. I would totally buy that except when you watch him in the interviews he is inseparable. Its like up the party for com comey. Greg everything is confliction and oh my god, i did what to do and shut up, youre an adult. [applause] tyrus he obviously hates dona donald. That is the question that popped probably shouldve asked him. Tell the truth. You got under his skin and you could it be any thought this guy could fire me. He said i dont hate anyone. [inaudible conversations] greg we have to move on because he have so much good stuff thatll make your head explode not that i want to see that because that would be gory and discussing. What did we learn from Mark Zuckerbergs appearance at the Senate Hearing . For starters, had asked really stupid questions. [cheering and applause] nick was born to move. 3 toddlers wont stop him. And neither will lower back pain. Because at a dr. Scholls kiosk he got a recommendation for our custom fit orthotic to relieve his foot, knee, or lower back pain, from being on his feet. Dr. Scholls. Born to move. Not having a Good Breakfast can make you feel like your day never started. Get going with carnation breakfast essentials®. It has protein, plus 21 vitamins and Minerals Including calcium and vitamin d, to help your family be their best. Carnation breakfast essentials®. Looking for a hotel that fits. Be thewhoooo. Your budget . Tripadvisor now searches over. 200 sites to find you the. Hotel you want at the lowest price. Grazi, gino find a price that fits. Tripadvisor. Greg to the hauser went to dc. It is true. Mark stuck went to the capital where he met creatures old enough to ride woolly mammoth on the frozen tundra of siberia. This was not a hearing but a hard of hearing. [laughter] watching him explain how the internet works to people mistake ipads for cutting boards. [laughter] but how they pronounced chocolate. I love a certain kind of chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Greg i am scared of him. The strange meeting between two different worlds reminds me of a movie. He came from somewhere far away. Our planet never seen anything like him. Hes spoke a language that befuddled our greatest leaders. I would differentiate between isps so there might be areas where there needs to be more regulation in one and less than the other. Into confuse them and forcing them to ask for ridiculous questions. Will protect us from facebook to track. Is part of the same as [inaudible] contract can you define hate speech . The answer them in a language only he and his fellow aliens understood. I will have my team follow up with you. My team. My team. Witnessed the incredible story of a being from another galaxy. He was tortured by humans stupidity. Mark zuckerberg and carl weathers. You, son of a [bleep] the mark zuckerberg. [applause] greg all right. I felt bad for the guy because no one got him but its not about age but about knowledge which this crowd lacked. That hearing is not an argument against regulation and for term limits and small government. Its a grammar is 10 the genius that we think he is he better have left that meeting of full on libertarian. He wore a suit, finally. I am proud of him and i think its his first. Is your nephew graduating from high school . Are you having your first communion or maybe you are going to the funeral . The first super guys who never worn a super four. Its designed to make you look like a big boy on your big day. That allimportant first busy date. Do you want my jacket, its cold out . No, thank you. Guys wearing that go to jail. It looks great at widely covered senate testimony. Your mom will hate you the way you look, we guarantee. [cheering and applause] greg jamie, did you feel bad for zuckerberg in question for ten hours . I loved every minute of this. He spent ten hours listening to opinions he did not want to hear been asked questions he didnt want to hear post and that is what it is like to go on facebook. [laughter] it happens every time i go on so glad he got to experience it. Greg should there be content regulations . I think there should be. At some point you have to and if i could pick one every time i go on facebook after words i feel bad about myself. For some reason everyone is doing all these things and i thank you should have to do some negative things on facebook. Whenever people post and say i did this and you never see someone post that i just gained 20 pounds or i ate a pie every day for the last 30 days and im depressed and theres a picture of them holding up of small pair of panties to fit into. [laughter] greg i will say though, kat, you do that. You go on social networks and youre not always happy to be seven i like to keep it honest. Greg you do. How fast do you think that suit will end up in a pile westmark. Kat i do not think he did well. Ive seen pieces of toast with more charisma and they didnt even have butter on them. I got the by that he felt like he was a teenager being forced to volunteer in a nursing home. [laughter] that was kind of the vibe. Thats really what i thought. I loved how they had such a little idea of what facebook really is but they do know that they want to regulate it. Greg exactly. Kat if that is in the governor in a nutshell i dont know what is. Greg we can explain it but i can order chocolate and then theres this ad for the chocolate so how does this machine know that i like the chocolate . [laughter] greg tyrus . Tyrus i have a question for you, greg. I couldnt help but notice your little commercial there and where did you get those suits . Because those look a lot like my jackets affect. Greg i didnt steal them from brian. Tyrus know. Ive got a Facebook Post for the guy wearing my soup. Hes going to get his ass kicked for wearing my suit. You know, the whole thing, chris was my favorite part. He wanted to ask a question and he kept trying to and all he wanted to know where his photos were out there is wanted to know he wanted to know if he had seen anything of his stuff. He was like, is there something about republicans out there . Any photos of guys from texas who might be republican and iran for president and lost . He literally all he wanted to make sure that none of his stuff is out there. Thats it. You know everyone data that out there. Greg at a certain point everybody stopped the other. Privacy is dead. Along with chivalry and civility and all the other good things. Greg the only thing alive is scary. Do you think social Media Training should be given to everybody in senate and congress was marked. I watch this and i thought i couldnt believe we elected these guys. Were doing a basic Television Show and i got a list of topics and look at one of them and i had no idea i would read the link. Theyre not embarrassed at all to go sit there. We elect them and this is their job and this is theyre supposed to do the research and supposed to insightful questions and they have no shame its unbelievable. Greg i will say this. Orrin hatch is the only person who knew what was going on when he asked her he basically said its free and how do they make money and zuckerberg said advertising and they basically said to people there you are a bunch of idiots. Which they didnt even get. Greg and then he said that is how they make money by word about something from wikipedia so you are telling me facebook isnt actually a book of human faces. [laughter] speaking of a book of human faces [applause] thats what you call a natural segue. This book is coming out soon and you can order at amazon and its all of my monologues from the five, not all of them because they would be really big but the best, 250 monologues and i add new stuff in it. I write about stuff i got wrong which is rare and adds that i got right which is great. Its been endorsed by this little guy. [applause] he thanks jokes is a joke so why john weiner philpott after being against it for decades. We report when you get the munchies. The United States postal service. Priority you i just need some rest. Im just worried about the house. And taking care of the boys. [ door slams ] hes still asleep. Zach . Zach . [ dog barking ] [ sighs in relief ] zach talk to me. Its for the house. I got a job. Its okay. Dad took care of us. Principal. We can help you plan for that. Pepsoriasis does that. It was tough getting out there on stage. I wanted to be clear. I wanted it to last. So i kept on fighting. I found something that worked. And keeps on working. Now . They see me. See me. See if cosentyx could make a difference for you cosentyx is proven to help people with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. Find clear skin that can last. 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