Hey, i dont know if you know. I dont know if you heard outside. This neighborhood is a hotbed of controversy right now. The l. A. City council today voted to start cracking down on the costumed characters who bring so much joy to so many on our street. [ cheers and applause ] the new rules would require anyone hoping to dress up as a superhero to get a daily pass to do that. And the city will only give out 20 passes a day. Which is nuts. We have 20 captain americas alone out there. Today we went down our block and we visited with these men and women. How do i put this . Its like going to disneyland if disneyland didnt drug test their mascots. Theres a captain america. Darth vaders, batman, batman being arrested. This is elmo being arrested. Poor elmo. This is a skirmish between chewbacca and a couple other friends. For some reason a lot of Business Owners in the area dont like having these guys around, i dont understand it. But now under the new rules the city would hand out 20 passes every morning on a first come, first served basis. I dont know what time theyre going to hand them out or where but that line is going to look like the worlds saddest avengers movie. Costume party is over, i guess. Fortunately were probably going to have legalized marijuana soon. So thats [ cheers and applause ] should i be worried when our employees are cheering louder than anyone . [ cheers and applause ] no, no. Alec, no comment . He doesnt have to put it up his butt anymore. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so in november, california voters will vote on a measure to legalize marijuana for recreational use. Supporters of the amendment turned in the required amount of signatures on time to get on the ballot. Whether the measure passes or not, turning something in on time is a huge victory for marijuana enthusiasts. Medical marijuana is legal here already. But its hard to get. Right now the only way to get marijuana is to tell a guy whose name is dr. 420 your elbow hurts. The measure will almost certainly pass which will bring about 1 billion to the state. But i feel bad for the drugsniffing dogs. What are they going to do for work . Practice sniffing each others butts, i guess. Donald trump and Hillary Clinton are currently sniffing each others butts. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] Quinnipiac University poll, the new poll has them almost tied, hillary up 42 to 40 over trump. The other 18 said theyre going to kill themselves in november. With the margin of error, theyre in a virtual tie which is a big deal. This is the first tie for donald trump that wasnt manufactured in china. When you break the numbers down, clinton got the support of 91 of black voters. Trump took just 1. Not 1 . Literally 1 black voter. His name is leonard, dont call him leon. Leonard. Among hispanic voters clinton leads trump 50 to 33 which surprised me. After all the things he said youd think hed have more support from africanamericans than mexicanamericans. But you remember if you cross the border to move to another country theres a good chance one of the reasons you did that was to get away from your family back home. Guillermo, hows your motherinlaw . Guillermo terrible. Jimmy shes terrible . Guillermo yeah. Jimmy maybe youre hoping theres some more Border Control based on that, right . Guillermo yeah, well send her back. Jimmy okay, very good. In case youre wondering what jeb bush is up to these days . There he is, jeb bush, standing all by himself at Miami International airport. No entourage no secret service, no one. Jimmy poor jeb, hes just a man at a cinnabon now. 165 pages of Hillary Clintons emails, most if not all unremarkable. We asked people about the emails that were released. The specifics which of we made up. But that didnt stop people from pretending to be outraged in Hillary Clinton email lie witness news. Talking to people about the Hillary Clinton emails that have been released. Im sure youve seen some. Ive seen a lot. Were you disappointed how many nigerian princes Hillary Clinton wrote back to . Think someone in that position would fall for Something Like that . I mean, its not surprising considering its Hillary Clinton. Were you surprised that hillary forwarded bill cosby jokes to Vladimir Putin . Am i surprised . Nothing she does surprises me. You saw those jokes . I heard about the jokes. I did not see them. It doesnt surprise me. How many bill cosbys does it take to screw in a lightbulb, it depends how [ bleep ] up the lightbulb is . Yes. What about the email she sent to putin asking him to send shirtless pec shots . Was that president ial . No, not at all. My opinion, not. Are you surprised to see that . Yes, i did. You heard the bombshell hillary once accepted a linkedin request from Osama Bin Laden. What does that say about her . Honestly, you really want me to be honest . Please. It means shes not a true american. I see her as a traitor to the country. Because of Osama Bin Laden . Yes. Or because of linkedin . Everything. Hillary, you call yourself a christian, you call yourself a believer, but the problem is you dont practice it because youre living this lie. And you need to turn yourself in. You should not live a lie . You should not live a lie. Were you surprised hillary sent that email to sugar ray saying, i just want to fly your Favorite Song . Nothing about her surprises me. She doesnt have any scruples or boundaries. You saw that email . Uhhuh. You like that song, i just wanna fly . Uhhuh. Hillary clinton is not trustworthy. And you are very trustworthy . Im a trustworthy person. You saw those emails about sugar ray . Uhhuh. Did you think it was sad you found out she had been sending Edible Arrangements to herself just to make the other girls in the office jealous . I do, those cost a lot of money. I mean you cant just be sending gifts to yourself. Thats ridiculous. I heard about that and it was just did you feel bad for her . Not really, no. I could never feel bad for her. Why is that . Its Hillary Clinton. I mean, all she does is lie. She lies . Yeah. But you dont . I dont, no, never. You saw that email about the Edible Arrangements . Yeah, i did. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its all completely clear. So much lying. When im Vice President , there wont be any emails to read because i will communicate exclusively through snapchat. That will be the only way. [ cheers and applause ] can i have my podium . Bring in my podium. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] i have a major announcement to make tonight. As you may know, im making a historic, in fact a firstever independent run for Vice President of the United States. So far ive been endorsed by oprah winfrey, l. A. Mayor eric garcetti, the president of cvs drugstores, Rob Gronkowski of the new england patriots, and courtney love. Tonight i am so happy to add the support of another proven ladies and gentlemen, please welcome 15time World WrestlingChampion John cena. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. I am honored tonight to stand at this podium with the great candidate and even greater man. You are killing it in the polls, right . Jimmy i am ahead in the polls, yes. Youre not just ahead, man. Kimmel has 100 of the vote with no opponents [ cheers and applause ] its very kind of you but i dont think this audience or the people at home realize exactly what a bigassed accomplishment this is. Jimmy well its not that big a deal its a big deal this man, this man is the product of our country, wasnt manufactured in some factory overseas, he was made in america. [ cheers and applause ] a man who embodies hustle, loyalty, hard work. How many millions of people a day do you entertain . Jimmy i dont know, maybe where between 2 million and 30 million, not including india. Damn right, between 2 million and 30 Million People [ cheers and applause ] wait for it. Not including india jimmy thank you. Do you have any idea how many people that is . Jimmy its between 2 million and 30 million. Not including india. That is exactly right this man entertains millions of people, pays his taxes, eats hot dogs, lights off fireworks with his teeth. It doesnt get more american than that [ cheers and applause ] youre very welcome. You see, this is our man Jimmy Jefferson kimmel the next Vice President of the United States of america [ cheers and applause ] he will fight for america and i will fight alongside him [ cheers and applause ] and as a matter of fact, if you dont vote for jimmy kimmel for vp i will personally give each and every one of you the attitude adjustment that you deserve [ cheers and applause ] who wants some . Jimmy john cena, everyone. John. That seemed unnecessary to me, but john by the way is hosting the espys on july 13th here on abc. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, john. You are an american hero. Well take a break. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ah the freedom to watch your directv with unlimited data from at t. The steady stream of entertainment. Your favorite shows. Streaming on. You can just keep streaming. And streaming. Hello jim. So much streaming, but id really like to go home now. My arms are very tired. Seize the data get our best unlimited plan ever so you can stream and surf all you want with unlimited data from at t. Sorry. Sorry. Regerts . Sorry, i was eating a milky way. The captivating lexus rc, with available 306 horsepower. This is the pursuit of perfection. And who doesntb then seize the day already. Crabfest is back at red lobster with so many kinds of crab and the most crab dishes of the year. So dive into whatever floats your crabloving boat. Like crab lovers dream. Crack open tender snow and king crab legs, and twirl creamy crab alfredo. Or try the new alaska bairdi crab dinner. Sweet and straight from the icy waters of alaska, youve gotta get it. To really get it. But it wont last forever, so hurry in. Flo [ ghost voice ] oooo [ laughs ] jaaaaamie, the name your price tool can show you Coverage Options to fit your budget. Tell me something i dont know oh ohhh she slimed me. Which i probably shouldve seen coming. [ laughs ] rustling sound effects, did we put away all the food . Define all. Ahhhhhhhhh cheetos crunching such majestic creatures. People love my portobello mushroom buttery jack, made with portobello mushrooms, grilled onions, and garlic herb butter. Ever wonder how i came up with it . Well. Actually, i came up with it at the water cooler. But i thought youd like this cowboy story better. The portobello mushroom buttery jack is back. Part of the buttery jack family. Taste it before its gone. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Zac efron, adam devine, but first summer is here. To make sure it isnt boring we invited our friend and former nasa engineer, very popular, he has his own channel on youtube. Hes here to share weird ideas you can try at home for your kids, friends, et cetera. Say hello to mark rober, everybody [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so last time you were here, you came up with these great ideas for people that they could do most of these things you can do at home. Thats right. Jimmy you have more stuff specifically themed to summer . Yeah, thats right. So like the fourth of july is right around the corner. So the concept here is that these are just four ideas you could do just without much effort at all. Jimmy okay, perfect. We have kind of like last time, starting from easy all the way up to expert. Well start on the easy stuff. Jimmy what about these . The worst thing that can happen at your barbecue, youre going to cook everyones hot dogs and your barbecue runs out of propane or charcoal. Jimmy or a hand blows off. Maybe that is the worst. Dont worry, turns out that doritos are actually super flammable. Jimmy you didnt spray these with something to make them flammable . They are naturally genuinely flammable . Super flammable, yeah. Youve got a dorito bonfire here. Well come back to that. Jimmy how do you know this by the way . Can you eat theme while on fire . Thats the flaming hot variety. Dont touch that. Jimmy the only way to put these out is with cool ranch doritos. Im going to move this over here. Good idea, safety first. Jimmy well come back to the doritos. When the fires gets out of control well return to it. Every good party needs a good beverage. Heres an idea for a simple watermelon smoothie with no mess. So what youre going to do is cut a hole in a watermelon. It would be nice if its chilled. Take a coat hanger thats clean and macgyver it and put it in a drill. Like this. Jimmy arent most coat hangers pretty clean . In general . Youd hope so. Jimmy so you drill a hole. Thats right. You put it in here. You go to town for about 30 seconds. Jimmy this is like out of a saw movies. After that youre going to take it. Jimmy this is burning out of control over here. Its under control. Youre going to open it up a little more, put a cup in there maybe draw a little face on here. Jimmy okay. Thats fun. Then youve got this super creepy guy jimmy you need a cup . A cup would be awesome. Jimmy i dont think we have a cup. All right. Jimmy no we dont have it. Well pour it directly into my mouth. Chug, chug. And it looks super creepy. Jimmy yeah, looks like its a vomiting watermelon. No mess, right . Jimmy love that. Yeah. Maybe we should have taken jimmy maybe we should get to this, this is scaring me. Now skew your hot dog and roast it over. Just seal in that rich hickory nacho cheese flavor. There you go. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy brilliant. Its a good way to light the grill with one of those too. Very true. Now that weve got food and drink taken care of, well move on to dessert. What youre going to do is go to your local Industrial Supply store. For 30 bucks get a couple of gallons of liquid nitrogen. Put it into a bowl like this. Jimmy do they have stores that have this . Yeah, google Industrial Supply store. There will be one close to you. Jimmy shall we wait while people do that . And so jimmy thats a good way to get the fbi to come to your house. By the way. Thats right. Jimmy liquid nitrogen. Take ice cream, different flavors. I use neapolitan. Youre going to sort of squirt it into the liquid nitrogen. And whatever flavors you use, thats what color youre going to have. When you put it in there, it naturally jimmy i dont know if we can see that. It naturally sort of forms these balls. Whoop, got a little excited. Now all you do is take that. And you scoop them out. You have homemade dipping dots. Wow. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy fresh dipping dots. Ow very cold, i forgot to mention that. Jimmy this is great. Or you could just buy dipping dots. Nice and easy. Jimmy theyre delicious. By the way, this is, if you never had it, this is the absolute finest quality black dot ice cream, its the best. What else do we have . Youve got Something Else here. Now that people are fed and happy what your party needs is a little bit of entertainment. People like nerf wars. Thats cool but i feel like we could take it to the next level. All youre going to do for this next idea is first get a job at nasa. Jimmy uhhuh. You learn the skills necessary to make one of these. Jimmy you made this . [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Jimmy wow. Thats awesome. So this is the Worlds Largest nerf gun. Were going to like test it out here. What i want to do is give you this. Jimmy okay. Ill take this one. Jimmy great. Were going to take turns shooting each other. Jimmy youre trying to humiliate me. This does not represent anything, by the way. Im overcompensating. We have this dart. The darts are actually like foam. Jimmy what is this, a plunger . A foam over a toilet plunger. Jimmy that seems safe. It actually sticks to things. Jimmy great. Youre going to kill somebody with this. What should i do . Aim it at that. Jimmy now . Im going to charge this up. Jimmy we only have three darts in here, what happened . Budget cuts, huh . All right. I dont know that its working. Should i shoot it now . Yeah, give me one sec here. Jimmy give me the big gun right now i want the big gun [ cheers and applause ] im going to shoot this thing just to see whats going on. See . Nothing happened. Yeah, the guns not working. Its like the least dangerous oh, there we go, all right. Look at that. [ cheers and applause ] all right, here we go, ready . All right, here we go. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats not safe. That is not safe. I was curious if this actually worked in real life. Jimmy it does. I challenged my niece and nephew to a nerf dart war. And this is how they reacted. Jimmy oh, okay. Oh, thats your niece and nephew . I neglected to tell them i made this. Jimmy little did they know. Thats great. Its also the Worlds Largest super soaker. Jimmy oh all right. Wow. Thats unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy mark rober, everybody. Look at his youtube channel. Well be right back. We have music from Melanie Martinez, zac efron and adam devine when we return [ cheers and applause ] ahhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh what are we ahhhing about . My money, its gone thats just bad security you know. I know, the new pcs are so secure, you can use your face as your password. And yet here you are, in a truck full of money with no money. You know about it. Now do something about it. Upgrade to a new pc. Youve secured the entire block but not your pc . The ford freedom sales event is on with our best offers of the year im free to do what i want. And 0 financing is back on a huge selection of ford cars, trucks and suvs. Plus get an extra 1000 smart bonus on specially tagged vehicles. Thats freedom from interest. 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