Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20161011 : vimarsana.c

KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live October 11, 2016

Debate last night . Donald trump and Hillary Clinton . [ cheers and applause ] amazing there could be anyone who wouldnt have watched. I was looking forward to it. 67 Million People watched donald versus hillary 2. Rarely is a sequel better than the original but this definitely was. Starting right at the beginning is candidates came out, they did not shake hands. Secretary clinton greeted her opponent with a page out of the access hollywood bus book. Hello, hello. Hello, hello. Jimmy she grabbed him by the pward and that was the nicest thing that happened. Anyone who expected donald trump to reel it in was way off the mark. He was on fire. He promised that if he was president hed throw hillary in jail. He called her the devil. Not a devil. The devil. Which i think that might have been his way of coming on to her. In the pickup Artist Community they call that negging. A lot of postdebate analysis registered surprise that with all that was going on with donald trump, Hillary Clinton didnt definitively win the debate. The truth is you dont win a debate like that. You survive it. You board up the windows and you get in the basement. You curl up in a ball until it blows over. Its like a tornado. Then the next morning you still have a house, you won. For me one of the most interesting parts of the event last night was at the end when one of the undecided voters in the audience asked the candidates to Say Something nice about each other. Well, heres how that went. My question to both of you is, would either of you name one positive thing that you respect in one another . No. Im shocked to hear that. Thanks to both of you. Good night, everyone. Well, its the start of a dialogue is whats important. One of the fascinating things that happened on friday was, before the billy bush tape was released, all the news was about Hurricane Matthew. Hurricane matthew, i thought Hurricane Matthew was going to come to california and get us there was so much. The minute that tape came out, Hurricane Matthew just disappeared from television. The only channel that continued their round the clock coverage of the hurricane was fox news. Because they didnt want to talk about the trump tape. Even the Weather Channel was like, to hell with this, lets go with the trump tape. [ laughter ] [ applause ] more than 1 Million People lost power in their homes. The only person mentioning disaster on a National Level was donald trump. The fact is almost everything shes done in Foreign Policy has been a mistake and its been a disaster. Mr. Trump, were going to the inner cities of our country which are a dissals tear. Obamacare is a total disaster. The education is a disaster. What thats going to do is a disaster. Perhaps the greatest disaster. Iraq was a disaster. I think aleppo is a disaster. Obamacare is a disaster. It was disaster. It is a disaster. Take a look at senate run. Take a look at upstate new york your two minutes is up, secretary clinton. It turned out to be a disaster. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well, all right. Someone on his team might want to think about investing in a thesaurus. Theyre of disasters the Washington Post on friday leaked behind the scenes video of donald trump chatting with billy bush on the access hollywood bus, this is back in 2005. Trump was caught on tape telling billy about the time he tried to have sex with entertainment reporter nancy odell. He says he took her furniture shopping. By the way, i want some followup, i want to know if that happened, and if it did, what did he buy her . A sizable item . A hutch or a die net set . Are we talking ottoman . I dont know. I want to know. At one point trump brags about being able to do anything he wants with women, including grabbing them by their lady parts. Its a bit unsavory. And we wanted to create a version of this tape that could be enjoyed by audiences of all ages so we took the audio from what trump said to bush on the bus and paired it with video from the flintstones and this is what happens when access hollywood goes to bedrock. I moved on her and i failed. Ill admit it. I moved on her heavily. I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furnit e furniture. Ill show you where they have some nice furniture. I moved on her like a bitch. I couldnt get there. She was married. All of a sudden i see her shoorks goes the phoney tits, everything, totally changed her looks. Im automatically attracted to beautiful women. Its like a magnet. When youre a star they let you do it, you can do anything. Grab them by the [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so of course people were outraged. Trump apologized. Billy bush got suspended from his job. Poor jeb bush. Billy bush is his cousin, he has to be thinking, why in the hell didnt he release this tape a year ago . [ laughter ] billy was suspended from the today show indefinitely. Theres a lot of the speculation he might not ever come back to the today show. If thats true this means this was billy bushs fine a pearns on that show. He fill in for kathie lee on friday. I think youll agree if this was his last appearance on the today show he went out in style. Might not have been able to do that in my spanx werent on, got to say that. Jimmy spanx for the memories, billy. If this president thing doesnt work out id love to see a reality show where donald trump and billy bush travel around the country, talking, evaluating women, whatever they do. After the tape came out more than two dozen republicans who had either supported or endorsed donald trump unendorsed him. Senator john mccain, governor john kasich, former secretary of state Condoleezza Rice among the list of prominent republicans who denounced him. Some of them called for him to withdraw from the race. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger, who happens to be the new host of the apprentice, announced he wont vote for trump. He said hes never voted for anyone other than a republican before but this time he chose his country over his party. Heres the statement arnold released on saturday afternoon. Jimmy you can see he is outraged. [ laughter ] he grabs his women by the waist. [ cheers and applause ] by the way, of all this stuff, can you imagine how pissed donald trump must have been when he heard Arnold Schwarzenegger wasnt supporting him anymore after that . I mean, i would have loved to have been the fly on hillarys face when that news came in. Of course trump is eager to let cancer know that what he said was just talk. Specifically locker room talk. This is locker room talk. Its locker room talk. And you have two minutes for this. I told you that was locker room talk. This was locker room talk. Jimmy when guys go in the locker room, we go nuts, we start using curse words, we look at pornography, we throw up on each other, its disgusting. But thats how it goes in a locker guillermo and i have locker room talk all the time. Guillermo thats right. Jimmy in fact, we had some locker room talk today and we thought we might show it to you. Jimmy yeah, all right, see you guys later. Hey, jimmy. Jimmy whats going on . Not much. Just thinking about boobs. Jimmy oh, boobs, yeah. Those are great. You know what else i like . Butts. Youre right. Butts are good too. Jimmy yeah, yeah. What are you doing after this . Nothing, just thinking about naked ladies. Oh, yeah, naked ladies honk, honk brrr jimmy junglewomba. Guiller guillermo . You ar horny little [ bleep ], arent you. Sorry, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right. That was three hours ago. We dont talk like that anymore. We were young. It was an interesting weekend but no matter which candidate you support i think we can all agree the winner of last nights debate was this gentleman. We have one more question from ken bone about Energy Policy, ken . What steps will your Energy Policy take to meet our energy needs while at the same time remaining environmentally friendly and minimizing job loss for fossil power plant workers this. Jimmy that delightful man is ken bone, from granite city, illinois. When we come back we are going to check with ken and his sweater live on the wall of america. Hi, ken. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] thats not fair, he should give you your rollerblades back. And, shes back. Storm coming . A very dangerous cheese storm. With the blue cash everyday card from American Express you get cash back on this. Mouth toys. That really takes me back. Cash back on this. Baloney and medical gauze. And even this. Who said shrimmpppppppppppp . Ahhh, shrimp. The lobsters little brother. Great choice. Ughhhhhh, im so shrimp rich. All with no annual fee. Its more than cash back. Its backed by the service and security of American Express. Mr. Bonejangles was alwaysr. Looking for something. Tch. But he never found it. Until one day. Seven in dog time. Exactly what he didnt know he was looking for fell right in his lap. Was he expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price . No, of course not, hes a dog. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. You never know what youre gonna find, but you know youre gonna love it. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. [ rear alert sounds ], [ music stops ]on ] on the road again just cant wait to get on the road again [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] on the road again like a band of gypsies we go down the highway [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just 199 a month. I need a better yoga class. [sobbing] oh gail, i miss you so much. Well. Im not super into yoga, but yeah, we know just the place. [sobbing] just weep it out. No matter what you need or when you need it, check yelp first. Jimmy welcome back. Still to come, john stamos, don rickles, music from two board minute ka club. Happy columbus day. I have to believe if columbus could see America Today he would have turned all three of those boats around and headed back to spain. A lot has changed about the way we talk about columbus since i was in school and the way we tell the story. Columbus isnt necessarily the friendly character we sang about sailing the ocean blue. And i want to make sure that i dont offend anyone when i talk about it. So abc hired a political corrector to help me with this tonight. Hi, there. How are you . So youll help me, let me know [ cheers and applause ] so Christopher Columbus was a great man. Christopher columbus was a heroic man . Christopher columbus was a man. Okay. A man who discovered america. A man who set out to discover america. A man who went to a place where a lot of people already there that we call america. Okay. There he befriended indians. He there he met native americans . No . Oh. There he was an unwelcome visit tore the Indigenous People of the land that would come to be known as the united states. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] the end. Thats the end of the story. Its not the end . Oh, thats right. This is where i personally choose to end the story, but i cannot say definitively that this is the end because that would be dismissive of the stories of so many others. Good . Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] its not as catchy that way. Back to the debate no, no, dont give him any cards. Last night america was introduced to an undecided voter named ken bone who quickly became the darling of the internet. Joining us now from st. Louis on our big cisco screen, the wall of america, please welcome ken. Hi, concern. [ cheers and applause ] hi, jimmy. How are you this evening . Jimmy doing well and im grateful to you for spending time with us tonight. Do you have any idea of how adorable you are . First i want to say. Thats a definitive yes. Jimmy okay, good. So when i saw you last night i was immediately emailing our producers on the show to try to get you. When did you find out that youd suddenly become famous . We werent allowed to have our phones or any Electronic Devices with us. So when i turned my phone back on, when i got back to my car at about 10 15 central, and i had a few thousand missed messages, i started to think that maybe today was going to be a long day. Jimmy did you know your fans are now calling themselves boneheads . Thats fan fantastic, ive been calling my family that for years. Jimmy good. Your twitter handle what is . Because there are some fake ones out there. I am kenbone18. There are other, better twitter accounts that use my name but theyre not me. Jimmy okay. Why 18 . Why there 17 other ken bones on twitter . There are more than youd think. It is a fantastic name. [ laughter ] 18, mike shannon, cardinal great. Jimmy gotcha. Do you still have to go to work if youre suddenly an internet sensation . I had to apologize for missing Committee Meetings that i probably would rather not have gone to today. Im working night shift tomorrow so that i can suffer the indignation of all my coworkers. Jimmy explain what happened with the red sweater. You originally werent supposed to wear that . No, it was going to be an olivecolored suit i like very much. My grandfather helped me pick it out a few years ago. I thought, grandpa would be so proudfy wore this suit. Apparently i have gotten somewhat more fat since then. [ laughter ] when i got into my car, i split the seat out of my pants. And destroyed my olive suit. I had to do an emergency wardrobe change. Jimmy if the smithsonian asks, will you give that sweater to them . I mean, give is a strong word, jimmy. [ laughter ] jimmy how is your wife mrs. Bone and your little bone son handling all of this . Heather and logan are doing pretty well. Heather is maybe a little tired of dealing with me in general after 12 years, but [ laughter ] the ridiculousness of the internet today. And logan says dad is the best kind of famous, internet famous. Jimmy i see. Have you received endorsement offers from companies . No, but feel free to pass them along. Jimmy id like to see lenscrafters, youve got the glasses there. Maybe red lobster with the sweater. Maybe you could be the new koolaid guy, burst through the wall. I was hoping for maybe do they still make moustache wax . Have my own line. Jimmy i think they do. Have you been approached by the producers of the show bones . No, i have not. Im wildly underqualified to even pretend im one of the people on that show. Jimmy are you still undecided as a voter . I know thats the reason you were there in the first place. Everybody doesnt like it that much but i think im more undecided than i was before. I had to put my head down while mom and dad were arguing over thanksgiving dinner last night. Jimmy are you an indecisive person in general . Not usually. This is an unusual political cycle. Its been so negative. And i tried to really base most of my decisions on positive things. Neither of them have given me many. So donald trump maybe is more in line with my economic interests because i work in coal electricity. Jimmy i see. But i would really hate for anyones rights to be taken back. Weve fought so hard to get Marriage Equality and rights expanded to more americans. And i couldnt it would be unconscionable for me to see those taken away by a Supreme Court justice appointed by donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i see bill clinton talking to you. I believe we have some video of that. Where you had a little chat with bill clinton at the end of the debate. What did you guys talk about . Bill clinton was a really personable guy. I would have voted for him if i had not been 12 years old when he ran for president. But im afraid it was pretty boring stuff until his Security Team whisked him away. We were talking about Energy Policy. Jimmy theres also a shot of you using a disposable camera. Where did you get the disposable camera . I havent seen one of those in a long time. I hope i can get it developed. I dont know. [ laughter ] i might have to keep it. But we were sequestered, basically, for 14 hours yesterday, from 8 00 a. M. Our time until the debate was over. With no Electronic Devices allowed. Jimmy oh, okay. Several people wasted away to nothing with no twitter access. Jimmy i gotcha. And they gave us the disposable cameras so we could take pictures when the debate was over. Jimmy before you go i have one question, id like to go to the studio audience, someone in the audience has a question for ken. Yes, go ahead, sir. Yeah, last night when you asked about Energy Policy, there was something i knew i needed to ask you. How did you ever get such a fresh and cool style . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i would love to say that i was born this way. I think the short answer is that my wife dresses me. Like all great americans. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well, ken, its been a pleasure talking to you. I really appreciate your time. And thank you for chatting with us tonight. I want to get you a suit from casual male xl and a digital camera. Thats the best thing ive ever heard. Thank you very much, jimmy. Please get out and vote. Jimmy ken bone, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] the man of the show. Music from two Door Cinema Club. Well be right back with john stamos and don rickles [ cheers and applause ] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by paqui chips. From nacho cheese to haunted ghost pepper, theres a flavor for you. Only those who dare drive the world forward. The cadillac ct6. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, there. Welcome back. Tonight this is are in new album called gameshow. It comes out friday. Two Door Cinema Club from the crown royal stage. Tomorrow Jennifer Connelly will be here. From espn, stephen a. Smith will join us. Well have music from crx and later this week matthew perry, laverne cox, music from nas and erykah badu. And on thursday night, the legendary voice of the los angeles dodgers, the great vin scully will be here. [ cheers and applause ] i am very excited about that. Please

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