Ground hogs day. Or as the ground hogs call it, fat guy in a top hat yanks me out of my hole. This morning, Punxsutawny Phil made his 131st prediction. This year, he came out, saw what was happening in washington and went right back in the hole. Every day theres something new to report. President trump this morning was the Main Attraction at the National Prayer breakfast in washington, d. C. Its an annual event organized by a christian organization. All the president s go. People say trump has a tendency to wander off topic and make things about him. This is what he had to say to kick off this annual morning of prayer. We had tremendous success on the apprentice. And when i ran for president , i had to leave the show. Thats when i knew for sure i was doing it. And they hired a big, big movie star, Arnold Schwarzenegger to take my place, and we know how that turned out. The ratings went right down the tubes. Its been a total disaster, and mark will never, ever bet against trump again. And i want to just pray for arnold, okay, for those ratings . Never heard that passage from the bible before. Is that corinthians . Donald trump praised the rest of us write comments on youtube videos. When he said he was going to get tough on foreign leaders, i didnt realize he meant Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hey, donald, lets switch jobs. You take over tv because youre such an expert in tv. And i take over your job, and then people can finally sleep comfortably again. [ laughter and applause ] you know we have a problem when turning the country over to Arnold Schwarzenegger seems like a good idea to people. Very strange to see a president take a shot at a reality show at a Prayer Breakfast. Hes attacking the host of his own show. Poor Arnold Schwarzenegger. You know what, id like to pray for Arnold Schwarzenegger, for his show. Guillermo, lets take a moment to pray together. Join me in prayer together for your fellow immigrant to the United States of america. Dear lord, wed like to ask for your blessing tonight for former governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, may his mighty biceps lift not only the ratings of celebrity apprentice, but also lift the spirits of contestants like Carnie Wilson and vince neil, lead them all not to the chopper, but deliver them to the final round. We also ask you, lord, to watch over arnolds maid whenever she bends over to dust. And please forgive him for the expendable 3, amen. [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, theres a new report that President Trump over the weekend had a very contentious phone call with the Prime Minister of australia, malcolm turnbull. They butted heads over an arrangement that was made during the obama administration, in which the u. S. Would take about 1,200 refugees who are currently being held in an australian detention center, we would bring them to our country. Trump ended the call a half an hour early which sounds like a nice way of saying he hung up on who would have guessed wed have a problem with australia . Im pretty sure its the only country that still kinda likes us. And from now on, the only australian leader President Trump will deal with is miss australia. When trump gets on a call with a foreign leader, people around him, their faces are white with fear, or i should say, whiter with fear. Trump made a reference to the phone call at the Prayer Breakfast this morning. We slowed that down for tonights edition of drunk donald trump. When you hear about the tough phone calls im having, dont worry about it. Just dont worry about it. Theyre tough. We have to be tough. Its time were gonna be a little tough, [ cheers and applause ] yesterday was known as National Signing day. A day in which the High School Football recruits, the big ones, announce which colleges theyll play for. These 17 and 18yearold kids have to make an announcement. One kid, from austin, texas, leaf ijones, had some fun with this. Where im gonna [ cheers and applause ] yall better chill. [ laughter ] and the headphones go back in. Thats the best. And of all the new College Football recruits, one name stood out. When you hear tit, i think you will agree. Lets meet the newest member of the Illinois State red birds. Coach did a great job of recruiting kobe. He has some work to do in the weight room, but we think he can be a very special player here. Thats. Kobe buffalomeat, thats a name. My wifes having a name, we never even considered kobe buffalomeat until obviously, i was interested to learn more about this young man. So we got in touch with kobe. Joining us now on the wall of america, our big success screen, kobe buffalomeat. Hello, kobe. Hey, hows it going . Doing well. Congratulations on your scholarship and your football career, all of that stuff. How you doing . Good. Its been a busy couple days, but im having fun with it. Were you aware of how amazing your name is before this before you appeared on television . I mean, growing up, everyone kinda just, when i introduce myself, they always said, is that really your last name. Yes, it is. You go to airports, grocery stores, you pay with a card, they kinda look at it, go, okay, and then ask my mom or me, is that really your last name. Yeah, it is. How big are you . How tall are you . 67, 285 pounds. So nobodys questioning the buffalo meat at all. Youre a native american. Which tribe are you from . Im chock utah, cherokee and cheyenne of ara pa ho. What are yo do you have siblings . I have a brother and a sister. How did you wind up kobe . K kobe just entered the league after kobe bryant . Yes. Thats probably where you get your athleticism. I guess so. Have you ever actually eaten buffalo meat or would that be like cannibalism . I think it would be a little bit of cannibalism. Ive never tried it. Ive heard its good. Its good for you. Its very good. You should have some. Do you have a nickname . What do they call you . A lot of people call me buff. Call people call me beef, and head coach calls me meat. Meat . I like meat. Thats a good one. I think the fans at Illinois State should chant meat when you come on the field. I wouldnt mind it. Best of luck at the school. Im definitely going to buy your jersey as soon as you get one, all right . Thank you very much. Thank you. Thats kobe buffalomeat, everybody [ cheers and applause ] i have a feeling, we met the future spokesperson for buffalo wild wings. While were on the subject of football and meat and all that stuff, hooters, you know hooters the restaurant with the waist ress in the nothing, really. Hooters is working on something new. Theyre opening a restaurant near chicago with male and female servers, who will not be wearing revealing clothes, and its called hoots. For real. Expected to open in mid february and close by the end of february. How did this strategy meeting go . What if we took the only thing our customers come in for and get rid of that . And while the new hooters spinoff might seem like an unappealing alternative to hooters, their new commercial will do nothing whatsoever to convince you otherwise. Its the hooters you know and love, with a twist. Its hoots, the place to be for anyone who goes to hooters for the food. Say goodbye to boobs and hello to seasonal green vegetables. So grab your boots and head to hoots. Hoots, were basically chilis. [ laughter and applause ] when we come back from the break, we have something very special. Rob gronkowski, russell wilson, j. J. Watt, Odell Beckham jr, and more, nfl superstars galore read mean tweets. So stick around. Well be right back. Hey ramirez un poquito mas rapido, no . [instrumental music playing throughout] [wheel squeaking] beautiful bike, just beautiful. Ha,ha,ha. [pumping of bike tire] [pumping of hospital ventilator] [rain falling] [wheel squeaking] Carlos Carlos dr. 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Deal. Mmmm. The family favorite. Yoplait. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hello there, welcome back to the show. Vigo mortensen, Charlie Weber and music from bj, the chicago kid is on the way. Sunday is the super bowl. The patriots play the falcons in houston, texas. The super bowl, this is interesting, its americas number two most popular day for eating chicken wings. Second only to Chris Christies birthday. Remember him . Big guy, used to date donald trump. Americans will consume somewhere in the neighborhood of 1. 3 billion chicken wings on sunday. They say if you were to lay 1. 3 billion chicken wings end to end, you would be taken into psychiatric custody. If youre hosting a party on sunday, i have a lot of experience. As a service, here are some of my Super Bowl Party rules. Adopt them as your own if you like. Rule number one, anyone who says i only watch for the commercials out anyone who shows up with a six pack of hard lemonade out anyone who asked you to switch it to the puppy bowl for a second out anyone who says theyll pay you for the pizza later out and anyone who asks if the nachos are glutenfree go home and eat a candle. [ laughter and applause ] fans are passionate and they dont shy away from criticism. So from time to time, we like to shine a light on should have the harsh words people have for some of their favorite players. To celebrate the super bowl, its our second ever edition of nfl mean tweets. Odell beckham jr transitioned from an exciting new rookie to j. J. Watt kind of looks like a fat mark lem ore. I have a deep and sincere hatred for demarco murray, i i hope he chokes on [ bleep ]. Surprised Michael Irvin can say all these stupid things with Demarco Murrays [ bleep ] so far down his throat. Tony romo sits down to pea. Well, what other way is there to pea 1234. Kurt warner is walking stupid slow like he just sharted. Terrell davis, acting like a real [ bleep ] hole right now. [ bleep ] him. [ bleep ] you too. Im tired of people saying riltion is too short to play quarterback. Hes ugly too. Von miller looks like an 80yearold man from 1974. Joey bosa looks like a dude who wanted to be a magician, but his parents made him focus on football. Maurice jonesdrew is thicker than a milk shake. I mean, come on, man. Demarcus ware got the giant ass head looking like a jumbo milk dud. Josh norman, that buck tooth bitch cant cover [ bleep ]. Wow, really . Rob gronkowski is one of the dumbest people in the world. I have no problem tweeting this, because he probably cant read it. I just read it. Youre dumb. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy all right, one more thing, it is thursday night. Time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. It is this week in unnecessary censorship. [ applause ] just kennedy was incredibly welcoming and gracious. And like justice white, he [ bleep ] me so much. Youre in the green room with our lovely bride who says the best thing about you is that you have a very huge [ bleep ]. And she was not surprised that you said, i want to [ bleep ] all the employees. We will [ bleep ] some people in the [ bleep ]. You need to know to help your small [ bleep ] grow. You had a [ bleep ] in your mouth. Every time i [ bleep ] a [ bleep ], i just pucker up just a little bit. I can tell you first hand, our president is a man with broad shoulders and a big [ bleep ]. Also tonight, the president [ bleep ] the acting director of isis. I sure do not want to [ bleep ] the [ bleep ]. Tuesday is [ bleep ]. Whats that . That would be my behind, sir. Oh. And that . Thats my [ bleep ]. Ewe, i cant believe i touched it with my bare hands [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonight on the show, music from bj the chicago kid. From how to get away with murder Charlie Weber is here. And well be right back with Viggo Mortensen. [ cheers and applause ] any of your favorite footlongs now for just six dollars. An endless cavalcade of premium subs. Any footlong on the menu for just six dollars. So, bring your appetite america, the subway footlong fest is upon us. Sometimes you capture the moment. And sometimes, it captures you. Marriott now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts. And for just 15. 99big festival of shrimp you can pick 2 of 6 new and classic creations on one plate new flavors like sweet bourbonbrown sugar grilled shrimp and bold firecracker red shrimp are too big to last so hurry in. Over in china, they thought he was michael jordan. They was running asking for autographs. Jimmy and i you have to brave to8 hours of testingcation, in the 11 most crucial areas of management accounting. Only 50 will pass. Done. So if youre one of them, feel free to brag. Youve earned it. Oh yeah. I want that. Whos next . Im next. After her. After him. The cma certification. Youve got to earn it. [ alarm weather. Eping ] [ laughter ] cartoons. Wait for it. [ cat screech ] [ laughter ] [ screaming ] [ laughter ] make everyday awesome with the power of xfinity x1. Hi grandma and the fastest internet. [ girl screaming ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi there, welcome back to the show. Tonight, from how to get away with murder, Charlie Weber is here. Then, hes nominated for not just one, but three grammy awards. His album is called in my mind. Music from bj the chicago kid. Speaking of chicago kids, i want to mention we have a great nba superstar with us tonight from chicago. Here he is, michael, jordan, everybody [ cheers and applause ] jordan, everybody [ cheers and applause ] to those viewers watching in china, you know exactly what i mean. [ laughter ] next week, we have new shows with emma stone, will arnett, kerry washington, gabrielle union, sean hayes, and zach galifianakis, plus music from muna, charli xcx, norah jones and alicia keys. So how do you like that . Please join us for all of that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is a twotime Academy Awardnominee and the best friend a hobbit could ever have. You can see his latest oscarnominated performance in the criticallyacclaimed captain fantastic, available on bluray, dvd, and on demand. Please welcome Viggo Mortensen [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Good. Very nice reception, thank you very much. Jimmy the last time you were here, did i tell you you were going to get an oscar nomination for this movie . Did you . Jimmy i dont think i did. [ laughter ] but somewhere i felt you were thinking it. Jimmy i sensed it and i forgot to mention it to you, but i was right. You were right. Im very happy and youre hosting. Jimmy i am hosting. Is it the first time . Jimmy this is the last time. [ cheers and applause ] are you nervous . Jimmy a little bit, yeah. Yeah . Jimmy i want to do a good job, a lot of people watching. I was nominated one other time, in 2008. Jimmy yes. [ cheers and applause ] how did it go . I lost. Jimmy but how was the experience for you . It was good. I took my niece and we had a great time. Jimmy how old is your niece . Sydney. Shes much bigger now. But she was a little kid and she made a homemade yellow and gold dress with her mom. Jimmy she made her own dress . Yeah. It was beautiful. Jimmy it must have looked terrible, right . No. It was spectacular. Jimmy if anyone in my family tried to make a dress, it would be a disaster. No, no. It was jimmy but were not the mortensens for sure. No, we had a great time and i was a heavy favorite to lose. [ laughter ] so we just had fun. We knew i wouldnt have to go up and say anything. But i was thinking of saying something. Being that you admit youre a little nervous. Jimmy yes. Just because ive been there once, maybe i could jimmy that would be great. I brought something that might help you. Jimmy okay. Last time i was here, i gave you baseball cards. Jimmy new york mets. Thank you for that. And i brought you a card this time. But its a different kind of card. A lot of times when somebody gets an award, they get nervous. Theyre thanking their mom and their family and the producer and the cast. When they do that, the music sounds. Rig. Jimmy right, they say wrap it pup upon. And then they play louder and louder and its humiliating for them. Jimmy uncomfortable. Just a bad deal. And you seem like a classy guy, right . Jimmy well at th