Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170314

Musical guest, rebel and a a basketcase with Evan Rachel Wood and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 637, yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh hey thats what im talking about. [ cheers and applause ] that is a hot crowd. That is a hot crowd right there great new york city crowd. Welcome. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. You made it. Youre here. This is it, baby [ cheers and applause ] im happy youre here. Heres what people are talking about, you guys. Of course it is the big snowstorm that is expected to hit new york. Everyone is talking about the big snowstorm. In fact, some are saying we could experience a whiteout. [ audience ohs ] things will even out on st. Patricks day when we all experience a blackout. [ cheers ] did see where i put the carrots on the snowman over there . [ light laughter ] but the blizzard is also supposed to hit washington, d. C. You know its cold outside when the Washington Monument actually shrinks about 40 feet. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the other steve come on. Jimmy the other big story is, march madness is here, you guys. Thats right. [ cheers and applause ] march madness, its the times year i go right from my bachelor bracket to my ncaa bracket and its really fun. [ light laughter ] if youre not familiar, heres how the ncaa tournament works. It start at 68, then 64, then 32, then 16, then 8 then 4 then 1. Im sorry. Thats the number of republicans backing Trumps Health care bill. Im sorry. [ laughter and applause ] i messed i messed that up. Common mistake. Jimmy theres definitely a a lot going on in the news right now, but this was everywhere the bbc was interviewing a professor from his home the other day and he got a little distracted when he was visited by some members of his family. Check this out its really cute. Happen all the time, the question is, how do democracy [ laughter ] and what would it mean for the wider region, i think one of your children just walked in. I mean shifting shifting Shifting Sands in the region to the relations with the north may change . I would be surprised if they do, but pardon me sorry [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my god. Oh, my [ laughter ] for the region. [ laughter ] my apologies. Sorry. North korea, North South Koreas policy points [ applause ] [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] jimmy thats great you got the toddler, you got the little baby, by the end, i was expecting his dog to come in on a skateboard. Its like can we see his wife run into the room one more time . Umm jimmy okay, yeah. [ laughter ] he was like, i see youve met my wife kramer. [ laughter and applause ] the more political news, i saw that south koreas president was impeached on friday. Not everyone thought it would actually happen, because the president wouldnt get people sorry pardon me . Pardon me a lot of people wouldnt be surprised if [ applause ] the president of south korea was my apologies. [ applause ] my apologies, please, pardon me. I think the president of south korea was the president [ laughter ] not people not many people would see that, or could see that. Happening [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] all right, guys, lets go to the next joke, this is kind of scary. On friday night someone actually jumped the white house fence. Secret service eventually caught them and said, sorry, but you have to stay here for all four years, mr. President. He was like, well, it was worth a try. [ laughter and applause ] now this is real, on friday, secret service captured and arrested an intruder with a a backpack. Heres what everyone involved had to say about it, this secret Service Agent said, our job is protect the president at all costs. A bunch of us tackled the suspect within seconds. This agent said, we reacted fast and neutralized the intruder. Anything could have been in that backpack. And finally, the suspect said, i was just on a field trip and got separated from my class. Como se dice profiling . [ laughter and applause ] steve oh, my gosh. That is [ applause ] jimmy and did you guys see this . Yesterday Kellyanne Conway defended trumps claim that obama was wiretapping him. And she had some very interesting ideas about how it might have happened, watch this theres an article this week that talked about how you can surveil someone through their phone, through their certainly through their television sets. Any number of different ways and microwaves that turn into cameras, et cetera. [ laughter ] jimmy im not sure if kellyannes microwave is watching her, but it sounds like she spends a lot of time looking directly into it. Microwave. [ applause ] [ laughter ] this is kind of funny, people watching the White House Press conference on friday noticed that one of the reporters pulled off a little trick with his glasses, check this out. Watch. Thank you, sean. Piggybacking off john and john, at a breakfast this morning saying he referenced nancy pelosi. Also said, it couldnt possibly be true jimmy there you go ayo [ applause ] jimmy see . Glasses can be cool. Right . [ light laughter ] some tv news here. The creators of game of thrones Just Announced the shows final season will only be six episodes instead of ten. [ audience oohs ] thats when you know things are crazy on game of thrones when even the episodes are getting killed off. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] and finally you guys, the remake of disneys beauty and the beast comes out this week. [ cheers ] yeah its pretty big. Theres a talking tea pot, theres a singing candlestick and Kellyanne Conways favorite character, the spying microwave. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome, welcome, to the tonight show. Thank you so much for watching. Thank you for being here. It is monday and were so happy to be back. We have a big week of shows coming up tomorrow night, adam levine and josh gad will be here. [ cheers and applause ] steve oh jimmy good show. Josh and i are going to play a a game of box of microphones. Steve ooh jimmy so be sure to tune in for that. Then later this week, ice cube, Elizabeth Banks and taraji p. Henson will be joining us, and we have performances from maroon 5 and run the jewels. Its going to be a big week. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a fantastic show tonight. Hes such a great actor, from the abc show designated survivor, Kiefer Sutherland is here. [ cheers and applause ] he also has a country album out. Steve whoa. Jimmy he has a country record out as well, its getting great reviews. So i cant wait to talk to that guy, plus she stars in quantico, and the new baywatch movie, Priyanka Chopra is stopping by. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] priyanka and i usually face off in something when she comes on the show, and this this time, were teaming up for a a game of tandem sculptionary. Jimmy yeah, its a new new game. Steve a new game . Jimmy sweeping the nation, yeah. Steve sweeping it, like a a broom. Jimmy we invented it, i think, but were the only people ive seen do it so far, but it is soon to be sweeping the nation. Steve its like the roomba of games. Sweeping the nation. [ laughter and applause ] i guess . Jimmy then we have we have great music from rebel and a basketcase with Evan Rachel Wood. [ applause ] last time Evan Rachel Wood was on our show, we talked about her new band. And we had her out for the Golden Globes, we were doing the Golden Globes cold open and we had a bunch of different celebrities come out and sing and do and she came and, man, can she sing. We were like, holy mackerel. You said you saw that steve yeah. Ive seen here sing a few times. [ laughter ] yeah jimmy i did. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. One or the other with you. I guess the muscle relaxants are settling in perfectly there. [ laughter ] anyways Evan Rachel Wood. Rebel and a basketcase, everybody. Yeah steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] jimmy hey guys, our good friend Country Music superstar, luke bryan was in town recently, he played a show at Madison Square garden. And the next day we got lunch together at one of those outdoor food carts. Steve mmhmm. Jimmy and it got a little awkward. Because when luke was ordering, it was kind of a strange moment. And i dont think its not just him. Ive been there myself. And quite frankly i think its something a lot of people have experienced. Here. Let me show what you im talking about. [ talking over each other ] you want some lunch . Im buying. Yeah, man. Im starving. What are you getting . Ah, ill have the falafel plate. Please. How about you . The you know, the that that thing there. I cant see. Which one . Um, the brown the brown stuff. The that you you know man man, im good. Are you okay, whats going on man . You okay . Not exactly. I was born in southwest georgia always tried to make my daddy proud but of all the things i learned there never learned how to say that word out loud i just want something to eat made with a vertical rotisserie of land meat i think i know just what to do the way they spell that goshdarn word seems like a trap its just lamb meat and other stuff rolled up in a pita i wish they just called it an atlanta tiki wrap i could eat 1,000 ounces if i just knew how to pronounce it is it gyro gyro gyro gyro or gyro never been filled with so much doubt its a gyro gyro youre gyro or see we could take and roll that last one out cant believe i dont know how to say it i eat so many that youd really think i would well my friend it looks like were in a pickle actually a pickle on a wrap sounds pretty good well i always thought i was a pretty cultured dude been to the taj mahal the great wall and the louvre im fluent in italian and proficient in korasian but when it comes to the pronunciation of this particular word im an abomination is it gyro is it gyro ill ask my friend from cairo hes usually pretty good with this stuff or maybe ill just mumble it when i place my order not so fast i call your bluff well uh how would you pronounce it then. Gyro. It is gyro it is gyro now i know a gyro the truth is so delicious to find no more fearo youre a hero because now i know a gyro i finally got some peace of mind we finally got some peace of mind [ cheers and applause ] ill take one gyro, please. You got it, buddy. Um could can i change that, actually . Id love a shishkaboob with a a little extra humas. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my best friend, luke bryan, everybody. Catch luke hosting the atm awards on april 2nd on cbs. Stick around, well be right back with Kiefer Sutherland [ cheers and applause ] [music plays throughout] hi. Woo hi. Hi. All pants, jeans, and tops up to 40 off. Hi, fashion. Old navy. Its an italianankie, hero from subway. Got there . Thats a lotta meat on that sandwich a real lot. You did good, frankie. Introducing the subway italian hero. Its stacked with our better italian flavor, for a better subway. 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Every bright spark deserves a hand to help it become something more. And thats why we are here. For our newest neighbors and the people they become. Sutter health. Proudly caring for Northern California, birthplace of pioneers. Jjack at my place, you gete wthe double jack combo with one jack of the biggest burgers on my menu. Double the beef, double jack the cheese, plus hot and salty fries and a refreshing drink for jack just 4. 99. Yup, i took the combo and made it a bigger jack deal. Like how ben franklin made flying kites a bigger deal. Jack or how astronauts made a sunday drive a bigger deal. Jack or how egyptians made triangles a bigger deal. Sfx backup warning beep jack so, if you want to go big, you know where to go. Jack nice ride. Jack my 4. 99 double jack combo. Jack only at jack in the box. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is an emmy and golden globe awardwinning actor who stars on the abc show designated survivor, which airs wednesday nights at 10 00 p. M. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Kiefer Sutherland [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, pal. How are you . Jimmy always great to see you. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Thanks so much for having me. Jimmy oh, please. We just did a Country Music video. It was awesome. Jimmy oh, thank you. Hes the best. Hes the best guy ever. So, how long does it take you to write a song like that . Jimmy phew, uh 20 years of pain . Jimmy yeah, exactly, yeah. [ light laughter ] yeah, its a year. Yeah. It was awesome. Jimmy thank you, brother. You have a country record out, and its fantastic. Thank you. Jimmy congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. Thank you. Jimmy its getting great reviews. Congrats on that. You were actually promoting the album. This is real. This is the tour dates. Youre touring like a madman. Look at all of these dates. [ cheers ] yeah. Jimmy thats crazy. I mean, when are you in new york . The bowery ballroom. Jimmy yeah. Its an unbelievable place. Jimmy the Stephen Talkhouse in amagansett. The stone pony, in asbury park, new jersey. Thats [ cheers ] yeah. Jimmy thats cool. There you go. Jimmy do you, like do you have a tour bus and all that stuff . We do. First tour, we played about 100 dates. We had a bus. That, at one point, it had 13 of us on it. Jimmy yeah. And then i kind of finally figured out that with doing the show for nine months a year and touring, maybe i should get my own bus. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, exactly, yeah. Exactly, yeah. And i can use that as a a trailer when im shooting designated survivor. Jimmy how cool is that . You have a tour bus. Well, its good, and then its not so good. Ive gotten to a point now where the band is like, yeah, youve got to take your shoes off. Jimmy yeah. Its like, i actually live here, yeah. Theyre not about that at all. Jimmy its not a party bus anymore, yeah. Do people go do fans go crazy which they see you on stage . Well i think one of the cool things is we play really small venues, bars, anywhere from 250 people to 500 people. So, its a really intimate setting. Jimmy great and i have a really fantastic band. And the songs are very personal to me. Theyre my personal experiences, and and so when you get the opportunity to say, you know, i was in this place when i wrote this song. This is what i was going through, you kind of start this shared experience. And what ive figured out is that by the end of the show, we start to realize weve got a a lot more in common than we might have thought, and its a a really kind of its a a generous thing jimmy yeah. The audience. Jimmy yeah, theres nothing like it. So my experience with it has been fantastic so far. Jimmy were you always into Country Music . Because i thought you were more of, like, a rock guy. I certainly was. I think, still my temperament might go more that way, but i love storytelling. Its what excites me about acting, and its jimmy yeah. What i kind of started writing myself into, kind of towards Country Music because i love johnny cash, waylon jennings, merle haggard. Jimmy hank williams. Kris kristofferson, and they were all great storytellers. Jimmy yeah. And so my music is very lyricdependent, and i really am trying to tell a story. And that kind of expression is kind of Country Music kind of found me that way. Jimmy thats pretty cool. Its called down in a hole right now. You can download it on the itunes or wherever you can stream it. Thanks. Jimmy please, go check it out. And tour dates, how do we find out where youre on tour . Kiefersutherland kiefersutherlandmusic. Com. Yeah. Jimmy yeah, hes playing a a thousand dates. So youre in munich, get ready. [ light laughter ] hes coming for you. Yeah. Jimmy lets talk about your show, another hit show. I go i just love you. I was just telling you backstage thank you so much. Jimmy and obviously, from 24, i thought you werent going to come back to tv. I thought you were like, yeah, i did jack bauer. It wasnt the plan, you know . Jimmy yeah. Its and its really hard to tell this to people who are working really hard jobs. Jimmy oh, yeah, yeah. But doing a Television Show isnt simple, and the hours are long. Jimmy yeah. And youre making certainly when doing 24, it was the equivalent of making 12 film as year, which is pretty unheard of in a a ninemonth period of time. And so, after nine years, i was like, ill take a break. Jimmy yeah. And i was really excited about that. And i got sent jimmy what were you going to do on your break . I had no idea. [ light laughter ] try and get to the gym in between the bar. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] you know . But [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Jimmy thats a good song. Theyre in my workout plan. Jimmy thats a good song. You need to put that in the extended yeah. But mark gordon, who has been a friend of mine for 20 years, who was the producer of the show, sent me the script. And i was giving it this cursory read, which is basically trying to get enough knowledge to explain on why i cant do it, and around page 20 i was like, oh, no. I fell in love with the script and i thought i remember this kind of very profound moment for me was like, i might be holding the next 10 years of my life in my hands. And if im lucky enough, well be able to do the show like that. Jimmy its great, and t

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