And watch the late show. Thats right, cheesy ahhh announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. The late show super postgame supershow super. First, stephen welcomes John Krasinski and ryan gosling with a special appearance by jon stewart. Featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hello, my friends. How are you . Nice to see you. Oh right over there. That was a fun one. That was a fun one, baby. You feel that . You feel that electricity . It can only be one thing. It is super bowl night, baby this is the night when all americans gather in front of the tv like one extended family to watch the premiere of tracker. Tracker hes a human air tag. Also the football game. And what a game it was. For the second time in super bowl history, we went to extra innings. So i think we all know the real winners were cbs ad sales. In overtime, San Francisco got the ball first and put it through the uprights for 3 points. And between the two teams, is this true . They kicked seven field goals in this game. Im sorry, but since when is football played with the feet . Then, kansas city got the ball back and would lose the game if they did not score. And you could hear sphincters snapping shut all over the midwest. [popping] but Patrick Mahomes drove the chiefs down the field for this gamewinning score. Right there, boom [cheering] come on finally. Louis hey stephen fantastic. Finally something good happened for taylor swift now, in the leadup to the game, taylors beau, travis kelce, arrived dressed like a sparkly trashbag. Oh, also before this was before the game started, right . Before the game started, Homeland Security showed a bunch of counterfeit merchandise they had seized. Okay . Which is too bad, i for one was looking forward to getting a tshirt celebrating super bowel champs the canvas city chorfs go, chorfs there was also a big betting opportunity during the commercials, and it involved retired tight end and gym teacher whose sex ed presentation just got really uncomfortable, rob gronkowski. You see, gronk has been appearing in an ad called the fanduel kick of destiny 2 where fans could place a 5 bet on whether he will make it or miss a field goal. Well, today was the big day. Gronk lined up the kick and missed wide right. Okay, its embarrassing but not as embarrassing as doing that in the helmet they normally serve ice cream in. We also got our first look at the trailer for wicked part one. Yeah yeah which is why at your super bowl party, that one nephew who doesnt care about the game suddenly started screaming and needed a minute to collect themselves. The first half did not have a lot of action. It was almost an hour into the game before we got our first glimpse of taylor celebrating a long completion by kansas city. But then the chiefs immediately fumbled, and travis kelce was seen yelling in frustration at coach andy reid. Im a pretty good lip reader, jimmy. Put that back up. I think he was saying youre embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend jeez louise you say jeez louise . Did i get that right . [cheers] even though her boy toy was angry, tayay still had some fun. At one point, she was caught chugging her beer on the jumbotron. Okay [cheering] hey, please have fun, taylor. But please make sure you have a designated driver for your private jet. Then the nfl tweeted her beer chug, accompanied simply with the word icon. If thats what makes you an icon, then my aunt rita is an iconaholic. Hi, rita [cheering] there were, as usual, there were a lot of great ads. Even Martin Scorsese directed an ad for square face squarespace. Or square face. Scorsese is the most brilliant director to do a Super Bowl Ad since Ingmar Bergmans 1984 ad for wendys. [speaking swedish] yeah, sure. Sure. [applause] sven. There was also ads featuring the biggest celebrity of all, the lord, who was featured in two spots from the he gets us campaign. And he gets us i think is so appropriate, because we all remember that quote from the sermon on the mount, ill get you. Ill get you if its the last thing i do. Your little dog, too, i think he says at one point. Language app duolingo bucked the celebrity trend with this just 5second ad. Yes, it looks weird, but his ass is now fluent in spanish. Okay, the score was 103 at halftime when we were treated to an amazing performance by usher. [cheering] the theme was help, im trapped in a jackolantern. Usher sang so many of his hits like. Who cares what he sang . Look at those abs, baby bare nipples at the super bowl halftime show . Cbs is back, baby all is forgiven [cheering] it was a great performance by usher. He was joined by some incredible artists, including alicia keyes, ludacris, h. E. R. , and lil jon. How would you rate your performance, lil jon . What . stephen i said how would you rate your performance . Okay stephen he is his own harshest critic. [applause] but. What . Maybe the biggest news from the halftime show is how little it pays to be in it, because, while it does offer extraordinary levels of exposure, the gig comes with a 0 paycheck. Uh, lil jon, your thoughts . What . stephen after halftime, the game bogged down in a slow defensive backandforth, but the big news is that verizon released an ad featuring beyonce, and moments after it aired, she announced a countrythemed renaissance part ii album. Wow, that is incredible. I cannot wait for the album to drop. Im a huge fan. But i do have to say, announcing your album during the super bowl has real getting engaged during your sisters baby shower energy. Now, the stakes were not just high out on the field. This super bowl set a record for betting, with 1 in 4 americans betting on the game. To which americans responded, one in four . I like those odds wheres the atm . No, im good. Im doing a payout. Gamblers also bet on the length of the National Anthem, with an over under of 90. 5 seconds. Now, technically, and i just found this out, betting on the National Anthem is illegal here in the united states, which is why draft kings and fanduel only allowed it for canadian bettors. Hey, canadians, bet on your own National Anthem. And take the under on how many people know the words. O canada its been one week since you looked at me is that it . Is that it . [applause] chickity china the chinese chicken you have a drumstick and your brain starts clicking gambling ads were all over the broadcast tonight. One for the Sportsbook Bet mgm featured vince vaughn, wayne gretzky, and a whole lot of tom brady. You know, after his crypto ad, you gotta respect toms dedication to helping your uncle lose the rest of his money. Now, if any of you out there if you actually really wanted to go to the game live, experts say this was the priciest super bowl ever, with some tickets on sale for 100,000. Thats a lot. But, of course, the memories will last a lifetime. Unless youre one of the players. Now, if youre upset. If youre. What . If youre upset that your team lost tonight, you might be part of a growing trend angry football fans who keep punching their tvs. This is true. Lets go to the highlights, jim. Oh, my god. [smashing] [bleep] stephen but i dont want my audience destroying the device they use to watch my show. And now you wont have to, thanks to our new sponsor. Second and 8, throw incomplete. Oh is your sports season being ruined by a loved one who cant handle it when their team loses . Tired of cleaning up shrapnel, not being able to watch your shows, and what about the cost . Theres gotta be a better way. Introducing the samsung punchable tv. The first fully plush rageresistant flat screen that is safe to punch, club, stab, knee, headbutt, slam, chew, drive over with a car or throw from a building into a dumpster. Leaving you to enjoy your leisure time in peace. Youre doing great, honey punchable tv works no matter what brings you to the game. Wheres taylor . She was supposed to be in the box with blake lively. Ahh and its not just for sports. Wait wheres niles . Its not a real reboot without niles plus, punchable tv saves you from addressing the root cause of your aggression. I wish i had more male friends. The samsung punchable tv. Because you have no male friends. I didnt say that. Shut up the samsung punchable tv. Get yours before the 2024 election. Early exit polling results. Stephen we got a great show for you tonight my guests are John Krasinski and ryan gosling. But when we come back, we might have a visit from my old friend jon stewart. Stick around. Announcer the late show with Stephen Colbert sponsored by mcdonalds. Mcdonalds best classic burgers ever. Theyre hotter. Theyre juicier. Theyre. [hamburglar] robble robble. Looks like weve been hamburgled. [hamburglar] robble robble. Ba da ba ba ba wanna know how i get this glow . i get ready with new olay indulgent moisture body wash. It smells amazing and gives my skin over the top moisture from dull to visibly glowing in 14 days see the difference with olay. Detect this living with hiv, craig learned he can stay undetectable with fewer medicines. Thats why he switched to dovato. Dovato is a complete hiv treatment for some adults. No other complete hiv pill uses fewer medicines to help keep you undetectable than dovato. Detect this leo learned that most hiv pills contain 3 or 4 medicines. Dovato is as effective with just 2. If you have hepatitis b, dont stop dovato without talking to your doctor. Dont take dovato if youre allergic to its ingredients or taking dofetilide. This can cause serious or lifethreatening side effects. If you have a rash or allergic reaction symptoms, stop dovato and get medical help right away. Serious or lifethreatening lactic acid buildup and liver problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, or if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. Dovato may harm an unborn baby. Most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, tiredness, and anxiety. Detect this you could stay undetectable with fewer medicines. Ask your doctor about dovato. Who says you cant get everything you want . Like going for bold without going broke. And staying true to your taste while staying on budget. Who says rising costs means lowering the bar . Settling . No need. Get the brands you want, the prices you want, whenever you want. Tj maxx where you can always afford to be you to the maxx. Need to be at your best . You need an antiperspirant that goes beyond. Dove men with 72 hour protection, plus care for your skin. So you can forget your underarms and focus on being unforgettable. Dove men. Forgettable underarms. Unforgettable you. [car traversing over uneven ground. ] dove men. [silence in the vehicle. ] [car traversing over rocky ground, babbling creek in the background. ] [minimalist piano enters, plays throughout. ] dad we got our Subaru Forester wilderness [heavy sound of water coming from waterfall. ] [heavy sound of water stops abruptly. ] to discover all of the places that make us feel something more. [heavy sound of water from waterfall reenters. ] vo subaru is the National Park foundations largest corporate donor, helping expand access for all. Ugh. Cabin crew cross check. That yellows not gonna fly. Buckle up whoa reality checkup theres toothpaste white, and theres crest 3dwhitestrips white. Whitens like a 400 professional treatment. [pilot] prepare for nonstop smiles. Crest. So if youre happy and you know it throw you hands up and show it if youre happy and you know it, clap your hands and if you love the life youre living go ahead and dive right in and shake it, shake it like you mean it, do a little dance show me what you got oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh if youre happy and you know it, clap your hands [announcer] find your happiness in san diego. [cheers and applause] stephen welcome back, everybody give it up for louis cato and the late show band [cheering] louis [laughs] stephen in just a few minutes, ladies and gentlemen, just a few minutes, our dear friends mr. John krasinski and ryan gosling will be out here right there. And following the show, stick around for an allnew after midnight with our dear friend, the very talented Taylor Tomlinson will be right after this. Folks, you know, it is super bowl sunday. Weve got a huge audience, a show packed full of incredible guests, which means now is the perfect time to walk you through the recipe for my patented seven layer dip. Okay . Bottom layer cushedup florescent tubes. Now, the im sorry. I dont know what thats about. Second layer, mercury from what . Jim, what is what the hell is going on down there . [cheering] whats going on . Good to see you. Oh, my god. Its jon stewart, everybody. Look at that. Jon. Jon, hold on. Hold on. Ive got to do the thing. Jon, please. Everybody please have a seat. Jon, im doing the what are you doing here . Jon well, you know ive obviously lived under your desk ever since i left the daily show. Stephen i know that. Of course i know that, but why are are you interrupting right now . Jon well, you may have heard. There is some exciting news. Stephen exciting news . Hold on, hold on. If theres exciting news, let me just get a mouthful of water first. Mmhmm. Jon uh, starting tomorrow, im gonna be back hosting the daily show [cheering] stephen wow. I didnt know that. I just swallowed it. Yeah, i did. Thats amazing. Jon stewart hosting the daily show at 11 00 p. M. On comedy central. Were gonna watch every weeknight, right, everybody . [cheering] jon very kind of you. Actually theres one more piece of news. And you should probably take a big sip of water first. There you go. News . Jon im only doing it mondays. Stephen okay. Okay. Only mondays . Thats interesting. Jon yeah okay what . Stephen jon, you famously hate mondays and love lasagna. Jon thats garfield. Look, point is, ive got to move out of this desk and back underneath the daily show desk. I probably shouldnt have picked while you were taping. That was probably stupid of me. Stephen can i have my keys back . Jon gosh, yes. That sounds like all of them. Jon youve been awfully nice to me, thank you so much. This has been great. So this is goodbye. Stephen wait, jon, wait, no jon, no jon stop, stop. Stephen no, listen, jon. You cant just leave. No, no. Jon i have to move on, Stephen Stephen no, im fine with you moving on. I mean you cant leave until i inspect your living space. Otherwise im not giving you back your Security Deposit. Jon thats reasonable. Lets go. Stephen should i take the water with me . Jon sure, take the water with you. Watch out for the ladder dont step on the god. Thats a drop. Stephen wow, i like weve done to the place. Jon i did not do anything to the place. Stephen thats what i like. Whats that scratch on the wall . Jon those were here before. Stephen well this all looks good. I was afraid you would try to bring down one of your rescue strict no llama policy. Jon stephen, i am a grown man. Im not going to betray our trust. Bring down some llama for god sakes. Stephen i believe you. You know why . You have a book called how not to hide your llama by jon stewart. I want to read that. Jon i would not touch [alarm sounding] stephen i knew it youre not getting your Security Deposit back, stewart. Mr. Llama hider. Jon that is so not true. I was not hiding a llama. In fact, this is not a llama. This is an alpaca. Stephen oh, really . Jon do you know the difference between an alapaca and a llama . Stephen no, i dont. Jon then this is definitely an alpaca. Stephen okay, then heres your Security Deposit. Jon oh, my goodness, thank you so much. So helpful. These guys are so expensive to feed. Stephen well, i guess this really is goodbye, jon. Jon yeah. We had fun, though, didnt we . Stephen we sure did. Jon you know, there is one more thing, stephen. And its a bit of a surprise. Stephen really . You know how surprises make me thirsty, jon. Excuse me one second while i get a glass of water here and wet my whistle. Jon ready . Youre my best friend. Stephen [burbling] [crying] jon stewart, everybody. You can see him back on the daily show tomorrow. Well be right back with John Krasinski and ryan gosling. Jon both . Wow. Looking for a smarter way to mop . Try the swiffer powermop. An allinone cleaning tool, with a 360degree swivel head that goes places a regular mop just cant. Mop smarter with the swiffer powermop. Mopnext. Ter next. Stop. We got it . No. Keep going. Aga. [ sigh ] next. Next. If you dont pick one. Oh, you have time. Am i keeping you from your job. Next. I dont even know where i am anymore. Stop. Do we finally have it . Lets go back to the beginning. Are you. Your electric future. Customized. The fullyelectric audi q4 etron. vo welcome to lobsterfest. Is your party ready . Ready to attack this new lobster shrimp stack . Ready for your lobster lovers dream to come true . Theyre two of ten lobster creations, only at lobsterfest. Plus, cheddar bays for days. But lobsterfest wont last, so hurry in. I cant see you hi, im bradley cooper. Everyone is auditioning to get tmobile magenta status. With magenta status theres no need to fill up. When you drop off your car. At dollar. I like to juggle. Thats good brad im a really good whistler. [whistling] get a special rate on your hilton stay. Mom i can cry on cue. Playing you dont gotta try. no need to audition. introducing magenta status. premium benefits from brands you love. Im willing to work alone. What . Sometimes jonah wrestles with falling asleep. So he takes zzzquil. The worlds 1 sleep aid brand. And wakes up feeling like himself. Get the rest to be your best with nonhabit forming zzzquil. What even is this . Dont touch my things. Gross. Janice, when you bundle your home or renters with your auto, with nonhabit forming zzzquil. Progressive provides 24 7 protection for almost everything you own. But do you really need. My weighted hoop . Its for my snatched waist. Thats my dog chaise lounger. Foot treadmill. Thats my tuesday chalice. Purse that says purse. Hyperbaric oxygen therapy chamber. I cant live without oxygen. Solid gold coffee machine. Lake making kit. Really . Can progressive cover that too . Yes, but hi its janice. Ill take 5. Is my voice on tv right now . Barista pistachio cream cold brew. Hero thanks. Friend hey its been so long. Stephen hey welcome back to our special super bowl show, everybody. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. My first guest this evening is an actor and director you know from the office, jack ryan, and a quiet place. [cheering] he has just written, directed, and stars in the upcoming mov