With chief Master Sergeant roger h hoberman. And, special appearance and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it is Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] hello, hello. Hello. Hello. Hey, everybody. Sitdown. Welcome. Welcome, ladies in gentlemen. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Thats the excitement. A big night because today was the Georgia Senate runoff between democratic senator and man listening to his daughter t explain the difference between love island and love is blind. Rafael warnock and and selfaware cinderblock, Herschel Walker. Voters were out at the polls all day, and at 11 35 eastern time, with zero percent of precincts reporting, because we taped the show at 5 30, the late show is ready to project that Herschel Walker does not belong in the senate. We can declare. U. S. Senate is no place for people whose brains dont work for football injuries for it its a place for people whose brains dont work because they are 1,000 years old. One thing we do know about todays election is that, thanks to recordbreaking early voting, experts believe that senator warnock went into election day with about an eightpoint lead. [cheers and applause] keep in mind thats good. Its not like herschel didnt try. He spent years fathering as many voters as possible. Really working the polls. Both candidates have been out making their final push. This weekend, the Warnock Campaign appealed to voters with a laser light drone show a great way to get out the vote for homer simpson. Its been a tough campaign for Herschel Walker, because he keeps getting derailed by comments made by his mouth. Today, folks are talking about this speech he made in 2019 and if you dont have any, come see me after. Ill take care of that. He has a excellent fighting average, better a. Im sorry i interrupted, you were doing brain belly. To get you get to where you lik those shows, and they dont lik them anymore. And then you watches shows. I feel like a dirty old man. The neighbors kid was in to see the jungle book a year ago and his son didnt want to go see the jungle book with me suit because jungle book and i didn want to look like a weird guy i this unit yeutter watching jungle book. Yeah, you dont want to look like a weird guy watching jungle book alone. You want to look like a normal guy sharing junior mints with the child you rented. Whoever wins, theyll be headed to the u. S. Capitol, where today the Heroic Police officers who defended congress on january 6th, and their families, were honored with a congressional gold medal ceremony. [cheers and applause] welldeserved. They confronted a mob hellbent on destroying our system of government, risked their lives defending democracy in the halls of congress, and put up with a lot of something i cant say on cbs. Madame speaker . The poohpooh. Thank you. Members of both parties were there, but family members of Fallen Capitol Police officer Brian Sicknick did not appreciate the republicans in attendance. So when it was time for the receiving line they would not shake the hands of Mitch Mcconnell or kevin mccarthy. When asked what he when take hansford she she said unto face its terribleingrrib the capile Jussie Smollett and kick hi ring 50 environ, they mean, how do i put this delicately, speaking of which, its been a rough day for former president you know how it seemed like the guy keeps breaking the law with no actual consequences . Well, now the con is facing some quences, because earlier today a jury in new york found two of the former president s companies guilty of all 17 counts of tax fraud and other crimes. Is it raining . Is it raining . Santa, you got my letter i have never been more excited to talk about complex financial crimes. What happened was, top execs in the organization got around paying their fair share of taxes through a series of schemes that included offthebooks perks like luxury cars and free apartments. Because nothing makes you look less guilty than giving all your execs a getaway car and a hideout the bad news is, the former president himself isnt personally charged. For now. But courtwatchers say this case may lay the groundwork for the District Attorneys Office to intensify its wider criminal investigation into the former president s business practices, and hush money paid to a porn star. And hopefully itll lead to the sexiest movie ever donald does time. It took a while. The former president s biggest rival for the gop nomination is recently reelected Florida Governor and caveman at a ted talk explaining, some ants good for eat, other ants make bite on face, ron desantis. In an effort to raise some cash heading into his second term, desantis is offering vip access to his inauguration staring at fifty thousand dollars. But if youre a real big spender donors who give 1 million will join desantis at a candlelight dinner the night before the inauguration. Of course, its hard to be at a candlelight dinner with ron desantis, because you have to keep explaining fire friend. No woke fire make gay other donor benefits include joining the first lady of florida at something called a toast to one million mamas. Thats weird. I thought a toast to one million mamas was the Campaign Slogan for Herschel Walker. There you go. You are in easily whipped up bob. Like most weeks, its been a rough week for vo disgraced new york mayor and fugitive posing as a member of the chuck e. Cheese band, rudy giuliani. Rudy is currently in hot water with the d. C. Bar because he helped the former president try to overthrow the 2020 election, which is to use a legal term, illegal. So, the d. C. Bar is Holding Hearings to determine whether they should suspend giulanis d. C. Law license or go for disbarment. Disbarments no problem for rudy. If he cant get into a bar, hell drink in the parking lot. Happily. [cheers and applause] we can always count on you. Yesterdays hearing gave rudy an opportunity to do some rudy stuff. Take a look at this moment right after the chairperson announced a lunch break. Thank you. You know i have two watches on . Of course he wears two watches that way its twice as likely to be 5 oclock somewhere. 8am a little too early for cabernet. Or is it cheers to you, broken casio weve got a great show for you tonight, im taking you to the top of the world to visit the space force. Stick around. The late show with Stephen Colbert is sponsored by. Check. Psych and im about to steal this game from you just like i stole kelly carter in high school. You got no game dude, thats a foul and now youre ready to settle the score. Game over. And if you dont have the right Home Insurance coverage, well, you could end up paying for all this yourself. So get allstate, and be better protected from mayhem, yeah, like me. Thanks, bro. Take a lap, rookie. Real mature. How white do you think your teeth really are . Take a lap, rookie. Lets try the tissue test. Ooof, still yellow. Whitening toothpaste can only do so much. Theres toothpaste white, and theres crest 3d whitestrips white. So much whiter crest. Whats with the double mcnuggets . Oh this ones my backup, in case something happens to the first one. [crunch] mmm. See. Get one favorite like 10 piece chicken mcnuggets and get another for just a buck, right now at mcdonalds. Google pixel with magic eraser get the new google pixel 7a for free. To help protect from hiv. I prep without pills. With apretude, a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. With one shot every other month, just 6 times a year. 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As i mentioned on the show yesterday, i recently had the chance to work the Nonprofit Charity organization that helps support Service Members and their families. Earlier this year, i told them i wanted to help out. So they sent me to in northern greenland, 750 miles above the Arctic Circle. Apparently they thought id be most helpful as far away from humanity as possible. Turns out its fascinating up there. Thule is now under the command of the Newest Branch of the military wanted to learn about their mission at the top of the world so i headed north to meet with chief Master Sergeant roger a. Towberman. Join me now, on the multipart adventure that were calling. Red, white, and greenland. I ive waged across cross the stunning desolate landscape 250. I couldnt help but think. Walking was a bad choice. Finally, i met up with the chie Master Sergeant of the space force. Chief, there you are. Think so much for it. How are you . Leading me somewhere prickly and know your full title is chief Master Sergeant of the United States space force, but in the interest of time, would it be okay if i just called you chief master. When did the concept of the space force begin. 2001 was beginning of the space odyssey . Of using that the movie . I have. Any idea whats the end means . Dont know. Do you guys have a space baby . No. Could you tell me if you hav a giant space baby . Probably not. What is the significance of Tule Air Force base. Obviously it made a lot of sens during the cold war, but there are no more tensions with russi at this point. I think there are some tensions. And not really follow the news. We still have an Important Mission to the north and this i the northernmost base that we have. Anywhere in the world, this is the farthest north and u. S. Military has a base. With interesting from a spac perspective is to see the technology we use to help the early warnings of missiles, we can also see objects in space w can use it for space awareness as well. And the missile launch, enough to just panic, or i could literally kiss. I think we can give you enough to keep you from having to say goodbye. We night not be able to. Which is keep it at that level. I dont want you to tell me anything that could possibly unless it would be entertaining for people to hear. I love space, im a huge fan of force. With you guys do . What does space force do . We ensure unfettered access. Is there some feathering going on presently that we don know about . Is there a space war that we dont know about . There is not a space where that you dont know about. Essbase skirmish we dont know about . Not to pause speaks volumes. How much can we tell this guy . We know that there has been activity recently and whippets are being tested by other nations. It really shouldnt concern us. What do i know about what weapons are being tested in space. And like theyre not frayed are they ramming us . Because seriously, those things are going up there at 17,500 miles per hour. Is it like doom, doom, doom, is it galleon kind of battles . So what are they doing . Theres no battles frayed what there is is an increasing amount of activity. There is more stuff up there. Just two or three years ago we were tracking a little over 20,000 objects. About 1500. And others nearly 50,000 object and 5,000 of them are manmade. Its becoming very very busy. If man didnt make the others , what are you saying chameleons made the others . To get there is no catbird. It looks like a cat is actually a cat. You also monitor submarine launched missiles, true . Is. Why do you have to monitor all of space and some of the ocean . Is the navy just that easy . We are tuckered out. They stay underwater. But the they are trying to get stuff they dont want to do. Im going to ask you a question that i have asked multiple people at nasa, theyve asked m to stop asking it. But i want because its important. Im going to ask you, and were both adults, and i need you to answer this question straight. We do not know. Dont you think it would be important people divisions for ages so we propagate the human species on other planets and perhaps repopulate the earth . For science. For science. Arent people doing it in space for science . Dont know . Youve got to imagine anything goes because what is better tha a waterbed . Way. Thats for the navy. You guys our in space. Find the zero g spot . No, this is when you begin to regret the end. I apologize, eur a gentleman. Lets go in for just one second. You had to go toted joe with an alien. Ledges keep it basic trade im not saying a klingon, im just saying like a gray. Well become a with eleni in basketball kind of like. Which starship captain would yo emulate your fighting . Are you going captain kirk . Reboot kirk . Jane lynch . To get him going han solo. Very nice. Why do space leaders grow pe pew pew pew pew. By the way, if he was having sex in space would he shoot first . I have heard if i stand in front of that for like five minutes, they would boil the contents of my stomach. Is that true . Thats awfully graphic . Ticket i would say i would not stand there. For College Credit we could have them wander in front of it. I dont think so. That thing detects icbms. I bet when it is 40 blowout here , every bmu take is ic. I came 5,000 miles to make that joke. I think our job is done here. Lets go back to the states. I made a poop job at the top of the world. E hemorrhoid enters the room. Phil excuse me . Hillary that wasnt me. Narrator said hillary, whos only taken 347 steps today. Hillary i cycled here. Narrator speaking of cycles, marys period is due to start in three days. Mary how do they know so much about us . Narrator your all sharing health data without realizing it. Thats how i know about kevins rash. Whos next . Wait. Whats that in your hand . No, no, stop oh youre no fun. [lock clicks shut] could i get the 10 piece chicken mcnuggets . Wait no, big mac. Hmm. [honk] sir . Im still here uhhh. Get one favorite like a big mac or 10 piece chicken mcnuggets and get another for just a buck, right now at mcdonalds. Head shoulders is launching something huge. And get another for just a buck, the bare minimum. Antidandruff shampoo made with only nine ingredients no sulfates, silicones or dyes and packaged with 45 less plastic giving you outstanding dandruff protection and leaving hair beautiful and moisturized. Major dandruff protection, minimal ingredients. Job done. New head shoulders bare. [ambient noise] i think this is it guys . When the martins booked their vrbo vacation home, they really werent looking for much a patch of grass for bruno, a pool for firsttimers, dont worry, ive got you. And time with each other. And when they needed support, someone was right there. I got you. Because whats unique about a vrbo is you can reach a real person in about a minute. Hi, im jill and ive lost 56 pounds on golo. Hi, im barry and ive lost 42 pounds. Is you can reach a real person in about a minute. Jill and i are a team. If she tells me to do something, i usually jump on board. Golo was doable, its realistic, and its something we can do the rest of our lives. Welcome back. For those of you just joining our broadcast tonight i am presenting this baseboards Tule Air Force base deep inside the Arctic Circle in a series were calling red, white, and greenland. They didnt want to call Stephe ColbertArctic Circle jerk. We take up behindthescenes look at the operations at the base. And wanted to see everything there was deceit at tule and up first was the 12 face warning squadron. Stuff and there is secret. There is secret. Are these guys coming with us . No, they cannot command . No. I cant tell you what i saw. The thing i saw was the thing i was wondering if i would see. And i sought. I was excited to see all the other things i probably shouldnt so i headed through the creepy hamster habit trail system that was built for the long harsh winter spread. And wanted to know before yo get me to whatever they kill floor at the end of this tunnel that im no fun to hunt, i give up immediately. I dont even been well. The squadron. That is extraordinary. This is your cerebral. Is this how you track the mutants . Somebody puts on the headset . Thats exactly right. Did you do that . No, i think you made a mad. Who runs this . Urgent she. Insurgency. What does this dish communicate with . It is communicating with weather satellites and gps satellites,. Is there any chance i can write as satellite dish while i moves . I dont think so sir. Whats the worst that can happen . To get there is some radiation and if it starts to activate pricking how much warning do yo get for this things get set unpopped groundlevel. He get there are warning lights that activate in then Warning Siren goes on. Went at the cool things abou this job you can tell me about . Has fared. Yes sir. Cannot shoot a beam at . No. Doesnt have offensive capabilities . No sir. Could you tell me if it did . No, sir. Two plus two equals four. If that wasnt terrifying enough, i was invited to see ho the men and women of the space force monitor for the launch at Nuclear Weapons aimed at the continental u. S. Persky this is going to be a simulated attack, so i should probably just have virtual pants to. And incoming length say,