Click announcer tonight, stephen welcomes charlie rose, gayle king and Norah OdonnellDeray Mckesson and Bonnie Mcfarlane featuring jon batiste and stay human and now its time for the late show with Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause stephen hey thanks, everybody cheers and applause hello hearings hey, everybody thank you welcome to the late show im Stephen Colbert happy friday to all of you, right . cheering which, of course, this is friday. Of course, america is still buzzing about Donald Trumps running mate, indiana governor mike pence. Theres pence fever. One of the symptoms, you know who mike pence is. Its curable. Dont think about him for a while. You will forget who mike pence is. In the last 24 hours, we have learned so much about governor pence, for instance, that he currently has a 40 Approval Rating in his state. So trump could win indiana just because voters want pence out of there. cheers and applause but thats not the only big announcement coming out of the trump campaign, because yesterday we learned who will be speaking at the Republican National convention. And i was surprised to see senator ted cruz got a speaking slot. During the campaign, cruz called trump a moron, and trump gave him the nickname lyin ted. Now cruz says he fully supports trump. So i guess he was lyin ted after all. laughter applause lyin ted meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was campaigning in virginia yesterday and she showed that she was down with millennials. I dont know who created pokemon go, but we need to figure out how to make them make pokemon go. To the polls. laughter applause stephen i may not know about angry birds, but angry bernie just endorsed me applause donald trump will candy crush our economy. Im not just a grandma, im an instagrandma hashtag snap chat. Internet. Com. Speaking of pandering to millennials, im a big fan of dora the explorer. Jon oh, dora. My nephew liked dora. Stephen but dora has uno problemo mas grande, because the 15yearold actress who voices dora the explorer was just named in a lawsuit alleging that she called another student a bleep for refusing to try an ecigarette. laughter im pretty sure cbs bleeped that word that began with a p, so let me put it this way. You know that character, puss in boots . Well, imagine if he was a vagina. Thats the area, okay . laughter this accusation seems shocking, but there have been signs of doras bullying for years. Hey, boots get the talking joint out of backpack and smoke it or youre gay come on, smoke me, boots im fun i dont want to. My mom says its bad. Come on stop being such a little bitch stephen now, see . Weve seen it coming. Weve seen it coming. Now say hi to jon batiste and stay human, everybody band playing cheers and applause stephen oh, delicious folks, i am jazzed for the upcoming republican and Democratic National conventions starting next week. Because we here at the late show will be broadcasting live every night. So anything could happen. I might say a bunch of curse words if i mess up. Or if i quote trumps victory speech. I dont know. laughter and weve come up with a super fun way for you to keep track of the Convention Action at home with the late shows convention bingo cards head to www. Colbertlateshow. Com conventionbingo, and print your very own, randomly generated bingo card of potential events at the conventions. Then watch the conventions at home and mark the corresponding space. See if you see something. For instance, at the republican, mark a space if you see a rock star you thought was dead. laughter or mark this space if you see ben carson with his eyes open. laughter will someone mention reagan . Thats why its the free space. laughter so thats fun all next week. Do that. Take a photo. If you get a filled out card, send it to me and maybe theyll do something nice for you. They havent told me yet. Theres another card for the Democratic Convention bingo. You could come up winner if you spot a white person attempt to speak spanish or. laughter oh, a deep sense of resignation. Or if chelsea has a third child and they name it hope. So head to cbs. Com conventionbingo and get yours. Im not saying that this is a drinking game. But one of us will be drinking, and i will win. laughter applause for the record, this is coffee that you know of. laughter you know, as host of a National Talk show, i wield tremendous power. For instance, i can tape a show on thursday but say its friday and no one will know applause i would never do that. I would never do that. Ever. Because this is a relationship of trust. I would never do that. But i could if i wanted to. laughter and yet there are those even more powerful than i am. Historys most despotic leaders. People like genghis khan, kim jong il and rihanna. laughter cross her and she will sentence you to the. sings work, work, work, work, work camps. laughter these merciless tyrants have but two things in common not having much in common, and a big furry hat band playing cheers and applause stephen now that this hat is upon my head, i am endowed with unquestionable power this is due to my hats two main attributes its bigness, and its furriness. Any proclamations i make while thusly enhattened are now and forever law. Let us begin. drums henceforth, the cereal grapenuts is now called breakfast gravel. laughter from this day forward, anyone who stands in line at the airport gate before theyre called for boarding must stand for the entire flight. laughter applause golf is no longer a sport. If you wear plaid shorts, funny shoes, and spend hours riding in a tiny car, you are not an athlete. You are a clown. laughter applause let it be written, sneezes shall be referred to by their new name, facegasms. And you dont say bless you. You say was that good . If someone tries on your glasses and says wow, youre blind, you may gouge their eyes out with a fondue fork. applause be it known if you can make a pocket phone that gives me access to all human knowledge, you can make a screen stronger than a pringle. laughter applause now that theyve made an allfemale ghostbusters, legally they must make an allmale sisterhood of the travelling pants. laughter applause hamburgers arent square. Wendys is officially selling meatloaf slices. laughter every bathroom stall door will now reach all the way to the floor. For the love of god, this shall finally be done. cheers and applause the hat has spoken well be right back with charlie rose, gayle king, and Norah Odonnell. cheers and applause nexium 24hr is now the 1 choice of doctors and pharmacists for their own frequent heartburn. For complete protection all day and night make nexium 24hr your 1 choice. Dont you dare follow your dreams. Think big. Or demand your own space. Dont you dare leave it all behind. Dont you dare ask whats next. Introducing the firstever cadillac xt5. Ugh. Waa. Wow ohhh aaaaahhhh. Find your diet pepsi emoji today. Are how clear windexith makes your windows . Introducing. Schmindex look windex makes glass too spotless and too dangerous. But shmindex makes it dirty shmindex. Order yours today brewmaster. Risktaker. I sold everything i had to own a brewery. You might have heard its name. Stella artois be legacy cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody thank you so much folks, my first guests are the cohosts of cbs this morning, but over the next two weeks youll have a rare chance to see them at night in the primetime coverage of the Republican National convention and the Democratic Convention. Please welcome charlie rose, gayle king, and Norah Odonnell. band playing cheers and applause stephen nice to see all three of you. Thank you for being here. He sang lovely day when we were coming out. Stephen i know, it is a lovely day. The biggest thing i wanted not to do was trip. I tripped last night when i was frankenstein. Stephen you dont have the boots or the prosthetics on your face. Indeed. Stephen that was the nicest thing you did was surrender your dignity for one of my shows because you have a lot of dignity. Physically, i never looked better. Stephen you looked fresh. He likes to surrender his dignity. Stephen does he . Id like to hear stories of charlie surrendering his dignity. Or not. Stephen before we talk about the conventions next week, just for the people watching at home and in here, were actually recording this on thursday evening for the friday show, and right before the show, we found out, and the people in the audience may never know here that there has been an attack in nice, france where dozens of people have been killed. What do we know about it so far . What can you guise tell me from cbs news . We know a lot were injured as well as those killed. We know the vehicle crashed into a crowd. Stephen its a tragedy. People died in the south of france. Too many of these things are happening. Stephen theyre watching the fireworks celebration because its bastille day. Moments before we were walking in. This is terrorism related. One of the hardest things we have to do as a team in the morning is we wake up a lot of times to these events. Whether domestically or internationally in the past two years, weve had way too many of these tragedies to cover. Stephen for next week, we found out a lit moral about what was happening at the Republican National convention, who the speakers are and arent. All trumps Adult Children are going to be speaking next week, which should be fun to have them there. Yes. Stephen you will be there for the full week. How many of these have you done . How many of these conventions have you gone to . My sixth. The first one i went to was 1968. Stephen in chicago . Yes. Stephen lets hope its not as exciting as that. Yeah. I went as a driver for the new york times. It was the most exciting thing. You were a driver . Es. Who did you drive around . Reporters back and forth between the convention and their hotels. Are you available next week . Stephen are the conventions fun to go to . Is it, like, news camp . Because all the news organizations are there in one building. Its like a festival. I think theyre fun, especially the republican one. This is will be my fifth. Its very unpredictable what can happen at the republican convention. You didnt mention antonio sebato, jr. Is going to be speaking. Remember him from dancing with the stars. Stephen its going to be a sexy convention. This must be refreshing. What fake convention average ive done, this will be my fifth time making jokes about conventions, one of the things i would make jokes about, like the real news people, it was all a staged pageant for years and you had to grudgingly go, why are we here, should we be covering this, but this is the first time it feels like there could be big news on a daily basis. Historically, the broadcast networks have reduced the kind of attention weve given these because we believe theyre so heavily scripted and commercial. This convention with trump is a seat of the pants. Remember when Clint Eastwood came out with his chair . I talked to a republican source who said this is Clint Eastwood times 20, what were going to see. A loyal republican. It will be great forio. You will be live. Stephen writing jokes up to the last minute. Something tells me you will have a lot to say. Before i came in today, they were telling me, tennis balls and sleeping bags are banned outside the arena but guns are okay outside the arena. That just makes no sense to me whatsoever. I understand part of that is the nature of the state. State. Its what . An open carry state. Stephen in ohio youre allowed to carry a gun openly but not bring tennis balls. What about a tennis ball gun . Well, under circumstances laughter stephen what about mike pence being the no, maa nomine . Right reflects off him, but i dont know anything else about governor pence besides that. Vice president s dont win elections. Stephen they can hurt, though. Or help by giving an aura to the candidate that hes serious, president ial, that hes chosen someone to balance his own experience. Stephen why did he pick them . At the beginning he said he wanted an attack dog. The next day he said, no, he didnt, he wanted somebody to complement him and help him on the ticket. This will be interesting. The truth is donald trump is doing poorly among christians, people who turn out to the polls o mike pence is extremely popular. This is a nod to the right wing to shore up his base and to the establishment wing of the Republican Party who dues trusted him and not showing up at the convention. Mike pence served a dozen years in congress, rose through the leadership, could be a president ial candidate in the future and is a safe choice in terms of shoring up the republicans. And has access to the money. The Koch Brothers like him a lot. Koch money in the Republican Party is big. Stephen i suppose. So but the interesting thing about trump picking pence, the safe choice, is that i think if it was reversed, if pence had been the nominee, i cant imagine him picking trump. laughter who who would pick trump, Stephen Colbert . Stephen i would. laughter its the gift that keeps on giving. Stephen were going to take a little break. But stick around. Well be back with more gayle king, Norah Odonnell and our friend charlie rose. Stick around. cheers and applause our lte coverage. We doubled thats right our coverage stacks up with anybody, including verizon and at t. And only tmobile gives you more than just great coverage. Now you can stream video and music free without touching any of your data. So ditch the other guys. And get great coverage and more with tmobile. We got you covered. And we wont stop school lunch can be difficult. Cafeteria chaos. One little struggle. Can lead to one monumental mishap. Not with ziploc easy open tabs. Because life needs ziploc. Sc johnson. 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Thank you so much for being here because i know you guys do the morning show, and next week youre doing the morning show and Live Convention coverage at night. Right. Stephen what is that going to be like . Do you nap in the middle of the day . Oh, sure. Yes. Stephen you leapt on that one, charlie. I didnt hear it from them. Well, i have been doing double duty, so i know what its like. Stephen you also have the charlie rose show at the same time, and i understand the charlie rose web site has been totally revamped and you can watch millions of hours of charlie rose now . Exactly. Stephen talk about needing a nap talk about putting you to sleep stephen yeah. laughter how many hours of interviews do you have up there . I dont know how many is up there now but about 20,000. Over the last 25 years, about 20,000. applause 20000 guests. Stephen seriously, how do you do the show in the morning . Because youre up at the crack offdawn, and then stay alert at night . Liquid cocaine. Stephen i tell you what, im live next week, can you hook me up . Thats a joke, people. You know what its like, stephen a drink, for gods sake. Drink caffeine. Stephen what . Hes a pure person. Stephen always this way or did you purify yourself later. I got drunk in high school once at the Christian YouthLeadership Conference off of a keg of beer. Stephen they had a keg of beer at the christian Leadership Conference . It made me so sick that i thought, i never want to feel that feeling again. I really was. It made me so i was throwing up. Somebody did something terrible to you then. No, it was just regular keg beer, but i thought, i just dont like it. Good cold beer. Stephen that was my nickname in high school, cold beer . Was it really . Stephen yeah, cold beer colbert. See what you learn . There is a big thing about pokeemon go. Yeah. Who do you think signed up for pokeemon go today . Stephen he did. Why did you guess that . applause did he tell you . Stephen no, because i think hes a child at heart. I am. Stephen which is a nice way of saying infantile. laughter is the Democratic Convention going to be locked down and by the book is this is that going to be a time travel back to the boring days of four years ago . Its going to be heavily scripted because its the clintons, theyve done it before, there is a huge audience, but i also think it will be an historic convention. Both conventions will clarify the focus. Its the coming out party for the candidates. This is the first woman ever to be the nominee of a Major Political party in america. applause stephen that is historic. Why do you think that doesnt get as much play as, say, barack obama being the first africanamerican candidate . Because its not celebrated as much. I think when it happens, it will sort of when everyones watching, i think it will sink in just how historic this is. I was thinking about Chelsea Clinton the other day. Imagine both your mom and dad have been the president of the United States. Just think about that. Stephen the possibility is there. The possibility is there if she wins. Stephen no pressure laughter yea