And now with these slippery handled, very pointy, incredibly sharp scissors, i will now cut the ribbon to declare the final match of the 2016 hungry for power games officially oh no screaming he did it its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes Abbi Jacobson and ilana glazer, Doris Kearns Goodwin and eric andre, featuring jon batiste and stay human. Now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its time for the 2016 Democratic National convention death, taxes, hillary cheers and applause stephen thanks whoo whoo cheers and applause whoo audience chanting Stephen Stephen hey chris, tom, paul whats going on, mark cheers and applause hey welcome to the late show. cheers and applause thank you so much, everybody thank you thank you thats nice. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Im proud to be your host, Stephen Colbert, and we are live on night four of the Democratic National convention, where moments ago Hillary Clinton became the first woman to accept a major partys nomination for president. cheers and applause incredible however you feel about either of the candidates, i got chill bumps. You said, why hasnt this happened before . Its the biggest breakthrough for women since they won the right to bust ghosts. laughter cheers and applause too long denied. I have to say did you guys watch the speech . cheers and applause it was a great speech. Well get to that in a moment. Of course, hillary wasnt the only one who made history at this convention. Last night, her v. P. Pick, tim kaine, accepted the nomination to become the 48th consecutive white male vicepresident. And the Streak Continues cheers and applause way to go cheers and applause but there are some spoil sports who are determined to try and ruin this. Bernie supporters and i am not making this up scarfed down beans and went to the Convention Center as part of a fartin protest. laughter now, some might question this tactic, but i remind you it is part of a long tradition of political activism. It was Patrick Henry who famously declared, give me liberty. Or pull my finger laughter applause now, the theme of the Democratic National convention was stronger together. And nancy pelosi thrilled the crowd by appealing to their shared values. We democrats believe that the future of america should be decided by the voices of the voters, not the pocketbooks of the powerful. A government of the many, not a government of the money. Stephen and that rousing call to get big money out of politics resounded throughout every corner of the wellsfargo arena, from the cnn grill to the Comcast Xfinity live complex because it was the democrats, we heard from every conceivable fringiest minority group. Im a republican. I knew Ronald Reagan. I worked for Ronald Reagan. Donald trump, you are no Ronald Reagan. cheers stephen whoo whoo cheers and applause whoo whoo were democrats why are we cheering Ronald Reagan . I dont care whoo Chelsea Clinton, this is touching, Chelsea Clinton came out and introduced her mom. First, they had a biographic video. Hillary rodham grew up in park ridge, illinois. Stephen you will notice that was narrated by god. cheers and applause hillary told the story of the first time she saw her future husband. I said, who is that . She said, that is bill clinton. Hes from arkansas, and that is all he talks about. And then i heard him say, we grow the biggest watermelons in the world. Stephen thus began a lifetime of bill clinton saying things that would later sound really pervy. laughter cheers and applause really big watermelons now, the video was very lovely, very moving. And it was full of personal anecdotes that reveal a side of hillary we dont often see. Hillary quietly attended debbies wedding. Stephen thats just a little sound bite from an incredibly beautiful and moving story. And it just proves what weve always known about Hillary Clinton. No matter who you are, she will attend your wedding. laughter cheers and applause a happy couple then hillary made her big entrance looking every inch a president. Or like an angel in a movie, who says you can go back to earth as the family dog. Im not sure what movie that is but i would watch it. laughter then, she talked about americas core values. Our countrys motto is e pluribus unum. Stephen great, now everyones speaking spanish. laughter talk in spanish, is that how you say it . Im not sure if im talking english right now. And then in a keeply moving moment, Hillary Clinton made history. And so it is with humility, determination, and boundless confidence in americas promise that i accept your nomination for president of the United States. cheers and applause stephen and remember, at that very moment, somewhere in that room, a supporter was trying to rip a fart. laughter applause really. Really. Really. Really puts the whole thing in perspective when you think about it. Hillary drew a stark line between herself and donald trump. I believe in science. Stephen and you know she means it because shes wearing a whrab coat. And hillary, she had a stern warning for the big banks. Wall street, corporations and the super rich are going to start paying their fair share of taxes cheers and applause stephen and i know theyre good for it because they paid me tons when i spoke to them cheers and applause it was a great speech, you have to give that to her. Hillary clinton worked a life time to achieve this historic moment. So lets talk about donald trump. laughter he is still in hot water over this little comment from yesterday. Russia, if youre listening, i hope youre able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press. Stephen it was a truly reaganesque moment. It reminds me of when the gipper said, mr. Gorbachev, release naked photos of walter mondale. cheers and applause thats how he won in 1984 cheers and applause true story. True story. A lot of people forget that part of the speech. Now, encouraging a hostile Foreign Government to influence our elections is an unorthodox Campaign Strategy known in political circles as treason. laughter applause so with criticism mounting, trump did something even crazier than making a plea to Russian Hackers he took it back. The Clinton Campaign said, this is a National Security issue now. The idea that you would have any american calling for a foreign power to commit espionage in the United States for the purposes of somehow changing an election, were now in National Security space. Your reaction in you have to be kidding. And when im being sarcastic with something. Are you being sarcastic . Of course im being sarcastic. Stephen sarcasm he was being sarcastic of course now everything he says makes sense cheers and applause yeah, let me tell ya, yeah, im really going to build a wall on the border, and, yeah, mexico will pay for it. Im banning all muslims, thats really what im going to do. Its a good idea. Im going to make America Great again. cheers and applause so, if donald trump says he wasnt conspiring with a Foreign Government and he was just being sarcastic, i want him to know, i totally believe you stick around, ladies and gentlemen well be right back cheers and applause i am sebastian artois. Brewmaster. Risktaker. I sold everything i had to own a brewery. You might have heard its name. Stella artois be legacy im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. to dog give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh to dog im so proud of you. Well thank you. Get your free credit scorecard at discover. Com. Even if youre not a customer. Which one of theseing awards appeals most to you . The top safety pick midsize car and suv. Most dependable. Means a lot to me. The green car because i like fuel efficiency. What if there was a car company that received all of these awards. One company won an award in all these . Chevy. Ahhhh chevy. Chevrolet is the most awarded car company of the last two years. I love it its fierce. How would you sum this car up in one word . Incredible. Amazing. I cant use one word. cheers and applause stephen hey cheers and applause welcome back, everybody thank you, jon thank you, ladies and gentlemen audience chanting stephen oh, folks, thank you so much thank you. Folks, i can tell youre excited. Im very excited. Were going to have the ladies from broad city, Abbi Jacobson and ilana glazer out here later. Stick around for that. But first, Hillary Clinton made history tonight by being the first female president ial candidate of a major party in the United States. Its a watershed moment for womens equality. I just wish the women who helped cheers and applause i just wish the women who helped build this country could be here to see it. Well, my wish is my command. Joining me live via satellite from july 4, 1776 are two female delegates from the second continental congress. Please welcome, Josephine Hindley and abitha whitmore. cheers and applause thank you for joining us. Hello, stephen. Hello, future americans or british subjects, if this doesnt work out. laughter stephen oh, do you want me to tell you how it turns out . No spoilers were going to wait till americas over, then bingewatch. Stephen okay, well, i know you guys are busy putting the finishing touches on the declaration of independence, so ill make this quick. I just wanted you to know that its 2016, and we finally have a female president ial nominee well, butter my bonnet thats incredible that is incredible im going to celebrate by making a meal for my husband, and then cleaning it up immediately cheers and applause hear that, ben franklin . Women are on top and not just your french whores laughter applause i cant believe that, in the year 1816, we finally have a female president whoo stephen no, no, im sorryi said 2016. Get the butter out of the barn are you telling me it takes us 240 years to get a female president . Stephen well, just a nominee. She hasnt been elected or anything. What the butter is wrong with you people . why did it take so long . Its right there in the declaration of independence all men are created oooooh. You knew that was supposed to mean all people, right . Stephen we figured it out eventually. But thats not how we took it at first. But you ladies are there. You should just change that now. Great idea. First thing tomorrow. Stephen why not now . Come on, its july 4 here. There are a bunch of parties tonight come on. Totally, everyones going to do mercury shots, and abithas got some dank hemp rope. Its going to be motherbuttercrayzay franklin, crank up that harpischord yeaah stephen from the year 1776, Josephine Hindley and abitha whitmore. Well be right back with Abbi Jacobson, ilana glazer, and Doris Kearns Goodwin. Stick around cheers and applause you can help prevent blindness in undernourished children across the globe by getting your vitamins at walgreens. Walgreens. At the corner of happy and healthy. 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Uh, breezy. Hands up. Weeeeeee. My bum is saying, thank you very much. Cleanripple texture is designed to clean better. Go cottonelle, go commando. Hey, youre yes, sir. Clarence you know, at the model year end clarence event, you can get a great deal on this 2016 passat. Steve. Yeah . Clarence is on a roll. Yeah. I wish theyd name an event after me. Same here. But the model year end becky event . Thats no good. Stevent thats just vandalism. Whatever you want to call it, dont miss the volkswagen model year end event. Hurry in for a onethousand dollar volkswagen reward card and 0 apr on a new 2016 passat. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody cheers and applause welcome back to our historic live coverage of the Democratic National conventions closing night. My guests tonight are a pulitzer prizewinning author whos had a front row seat to nearly a halfcentury of president ial history, and a pair of young women who make comedy and history with every episode of their hit show broad city. Give it up for Abbi Jacobson, ilana glazer, and doris kearns. Goodwin. cheers and applause whoo come on doris come on, do it cheers and applause stephen so good to see you. Abbi, ilana glazer, doris, thanks for being here on this historic night. Lo feeling the history of this moment . Without a question. Its historic, right . Stephen youre the historian, you have to answer that. None of us here, nobody in the history of this whole nation has seen a woman who has become a nominee of a major party. Thats history. Stephen no ones even come close. No ones even come close. The amazing thing is i think is maybe now since shes come so close, weve had 43 male president s, maybe there will be 43 female president s coming. Stephen in a row, just to even things out. And imagine some little boy will be saying, will i ever be president . laughter i feel bad. Stephen no, i have hope for him. I have hope for him. laughter now, abbi and ilana, are you people feeling the hills . Are you heading to the hills . laughter theres been some sort of complaining or im noticing that some young women who identify themselves as feminists, who do you identify yourself as feminists . That they were not being drawn to Hillary Clinton and sort of observers of your generation didnt understand. Do you think maybe thats over now that shes got the nomination . I hope. So i think there is probably a little bit of that. I hope so. I dont think you could watch tonight and this week full of these amazing speeches and not feel she is just the best candidate and not feel like, even if you did support bernie, which i love bernie, but i think right now, watching that, i was just blown away. Also, its, like, you know we talked about this, about were not we dont support hillary just because shes a woman and if you dont support hillary, that doesnt mean youre not a feminist either. You know, there is this language thats mutually exclusive and so polarizing. You have to like this and not like this, and if you like this, you dont like this. That bernie stuff was getting crazy and overlapped, like, 90 of their policies overlap. But we are im heading for the hills. Im up in the hills. cheers and applause stephen now, have all three of you met secretary clinton . I slept over with her at the white house. Stephen do go on. How did this come about . How did this come about . What happened is i was on the radio talking about franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt and how i wish i could see the second floor of the white house when they were thrall and i hadnt asked Lyndon Johnson who slept where when i was 24 and up there and she said come and well figure out whether everybody slept. We figured out bill clinton slept in Winston Churchills bathroom which meant churchills bedroom. We talked about Eleanor Roosevelt, our mutual person. Stephen i read something that she was trying to commune with Eleanor Roosevelt when she was first lady to figure out how she did such a great job. Eleanor was a mentor to hillary. I think its great. Stephen whos your mentor . Amy poehler, baby. Stephen thats a good mentor. cheers and applause to compare comedy to politics, it should be done. There is so many people that came before us and that set the path for us and amys definitely ours, not just for our show but just in general as a comedienne. Stephen you guys met secretary clinton. She was on your show, right . Yes, we met her when we begged and stopped her to be on our show laughter stephen we have a clip, the two of you coming to her Campaign Offices to volunteer. Yes. Stephen jim . laughter oh sorry, we are just so excited. Thats all right. Just take your time. One more. screaming thank, you, ilana, for all your help. You heard of me . Well, youre wearing a name tag. Abbi. Hello. College, aquarius. Secretary clinton, madam president. I cant afford to volunteer here full time but i still want to get the word out. So i vow to tweet once a week, vote for hillary, yes, yes, yes. cheers and applause stephen nice ridone. It was a very unreal experience. Stephen yeah, yeah, i imagine it would be. She was so cool and her people were so cool. Everybody was really cohesive. Stephen now, doris, people always say about secretary clinton, this gets said over and over again, that she is