Is it sergey kislyak. No its vladimir putin, but close enough. Everybody wins. Especially russia. So order trumpboo today, available wherever democracy is sold. Its the late show with stephen colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes, glenn close, michael mckeen, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from new york city, its stephen colbert. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody stephen welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, stephen colbert. Thank you. Lovely people. Absolutely lovely people. How is everybodys march madness doing . It continues tomorrow night and friday on cbs. Right . Am i right about that . Yeah. Everybodys brackets okay . Yeah. Jon bracketed up. Stephen how are everybodys buckets . Ill explain that in a moment, you see, for weeks now, republicans have been bushing their obamacare replacement plan. Audience boo stephen but the bill has a preexisting condition everybody hates it laughter i think those were republicans booing. Because republicans have been scrambling to sell this thing ever since the c. B. O. Report came out that said that trumpcare would kick 24 Million People off of insurance. So now theyre rebranding. Theyre introducing the threebucket strategy, okay. Three buckets is what theyre calling it, okay. So no health care, but with all those buckets, think of how much youll save on urns. laughter maybe, maybe. Jon wow. You could. Stephen shore, pour grandma right in the bucket. Jon watch out stephen maybe its not literal buckets, you know, since so many people are losing health care, theyre just saying, quick, do the first three things on your bucket list. And his Failing Health care bill isnt trumps only problem. Last week, two federal judges ruled against trumps second travel ban. cheers and applause and apparently, apparently apparently when donald trump heard about the ruling, he was upset. So, this is true, white house officials tried to cheater president up by showing him a segment on Greta Van Susterens show which argued the Supreme Court would never uphold the ruling. Okay. They treat the president the same way you treat a fiveyearold throwing a tantrum. Honey, honey, calm down. Look, look, we got frozen. We got the cd for frozen. Lets put it in there. Now please let it go applause but if positive coverage helps calm down the big angry man with the launch codes, i say do it. I want to help. Thats why i had the late shows inhouse news team, real news tonight, make a new report that the white house can play at any time. Welcome to real news tonight. Im jill newslady. And im jim ankoton. The radical terrorist had secretly teamed up with the socalled judges who stopped trumps bigley safe travel ban. The president used his impressively sized hands to swat the bombs out of bad guys comparatively smaller hands and unleashed a deep, masculine yell that made them scared too scared to be judges and terrorists. When i look at those hands, jim, i ovulate. Would if i could, jill. Coming up after the break, this splings hottest look is a giant red tie held together with scotch tape. Stephen thanks, guys. cheers and applause . Jon absolutely amazing. Stephen but, you know, i talk too much about donald trump. You know what i mean. I talk about him every night, and it makes me miss out on some other aspects of my life. There are so many other things to talk about. Like i have not been talking to you about something called the fat leonard military sex scandal, not because i didnt want to. Its because i just heard there was something called the fat leonard military sex scandal. You guys heard about this . Another i didnt. It centers around a six foot, 350pound Malaysian Defense contractor known as fat leonard. In exchange for classified information, fat leonard treated u. S. Naval officers to decadent orgies in manila including, of course, the carousel of prostitutes is the most popular ride at prostitute world. laughter that and i think the tiltahooker. laughter remember, you must be this tall to ride the hooker. laughter at one party that fat leonard through, a group drank the hotels entire supply the dom perignon champagne at which point they had to change to moet the beer of champagnes. But they did use some of their time to bone up on their military history because during another sex party, in the mccarthy suite of the manila hotel, historical memorabilia related to general Douglas Macarthur were used by the participants in sexual acts. Yes, its true. And i certainly hope they rinsed off that corn cob pipe. Jon oh oh stephen wasnt that fun . Dishing about fat leonard and the horny old navy guys. So why in gods name did i only hear about it now . I mean, what has happened to us as a nation . We let ourselves, distracted by trumps phony wiretap claims and two pages of his 12yearold tax returns when i could have been making joke jokes about rear ads and their semen in manila fillapenis. Thats what i im mississippiingute. Thats why i got into this game. Damn you, donald trump. We have a great show for you tonight. Glenn close is here, but when i return ill show you what kid rock is shooting now. Stick around after a long day of hiking in portland, in one of our volcanoes, to see some lava youre probably gonna be disappointed. band playing band playing cheers and applause stephen hey jon batiste and stay human, everybody oh jon that band stephen hope you guys are having a good wednesday night. I am. Yeah. Its hard to tell what day it is sometimes. Jon its hard to tell. Stephen you just keep grinding on day after day. Jon its good. Were having a good time. Stephen you know who always has a good time and im a huge fan of. Jon whos that. Stephen kid rock. Partly, partly, because he is one of americas best singersong yellers. Also, because he is never afraid to make bold, patriotic gestures. For instance, kid Just Launched his own made in the uat a american ba bad ass grill compa. I believe it is what seal team 6 used to bury bin laden. Sure, buried at sea. Eventually. A happy image. And you feeling bad for bin laden now . Oh, no, not bin laden and kid rock celebrated the launch of his allamerican badass grills by bringing the heat to his foreignmade competition. You got grills made in china. We got 50 cals made in america. This is 100 pure american badass. This is what we think of made in china. Wooo in your face, china laughter stephen in your face thats right. Kid rock hates chinese grills so much, he bought hundreds of the them just to blow them up. laughter although, just can we take a look at that super, realistic explosion again . So i guess the grills and the special effect comes from china. laughter but, you know, folks, this is why i love this man. This is more than just a commercial, since, as i talked about previously on this show, and this is true, kid rock is being floated as a potential g. O. P. Senate candidate from michigan. So these videos are basically campaign ads, and here to respond is kid rocks potential opponent in that race, michigan hard rocker, friend of the show, the saginaw psychopath shriekin joe. Thank you for being the the show. Vote for me i love michigan. Kiss my lower peninsula. Tshirts available on line, xxl only stephen we all know you from your music career, obviously. Were all huge fans of shriekin joe, arent we folks . Incredible, rock n roll hall of fame eligible shriekin joe. The albumedz booze oclock and im driving, smell my fingers and my toes. What is the one you on the cover with you and two babes on the hearse . Getting laid at a funeral. Fun fact that picture was taken at my actual dads funeral. Stephen that is truly awful, shriekin joe. He of he got shot robbing an arby. Stephen he will be missed. I understand youre planning a 2018 run for senate, right . Thats right, stephen. Join me, michigan, and together well make the mitten sticky. Thats a sex reference. laughter stephen i imagined it was. I never had sex with mittens on, shriekin joe. Youre missing out, bro. Stephen whats your reaction to your possible opponent kid rocks grill video . Lame stephen you disagree with his stance against foreign manufacturing . Hell, no, stephen i hate foreign manufacturing. I hate it so much, later today im having a bareknuckle m. M. A. Fight with a nissan altima. Ill be Live Streaming it on my website, ballsandbullets. Sting. Stephen if youre doing that, how do you differ from kid rock. What pisses me off, anyone can make a grill seem bad ass. Its a metal box that use fire to burn meat. Thats why im launching made in the, say, ice cream machine. Stephen that is one badass ice cream. I scream, you cream, we value sex in the ice cream factory. laughter stephen thats great, shriekin joe, but how are you going to show your base youre going to save their job by crack down on foreign ice cream makers . Easy, stephen, i made a commercial. Take a look im tired of nambypamby foreign ice cream makers invading our soil, so im going to do something about it. Pull hell, yeah lets do another one pull im not done yet, america pull bongodongo take that, france or. Wherever. Because you cant spell ice cream without u. S. A. stephen shriekin joe, everybody. Well be right back with glenn close. Everyone, shut up listen, do you hear that . You always h. Have been. My best. Friend. Forever. To friendship. Music piano cover of guns n roses sweet child o mine i like yours too. Hair. Can i have some . Its not cool to ask that. Thanks, captain obvious. Online dating isnt always rewarding. But hotels. Com is. Instant savings now, free nights later. Hotels. Com. Hey allergy muddlers are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . Try zyrtec® zyrtec® starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Stick with zyrtec®. Muddle no more®. Try rhinocort® allergy spray for powerful nasal allergy relief. Ques. Are my teeth yellow . Have you tried the tissue test . The what . Tissue test hold this up to your teeth. Ugh yellow. I dont get it. I use whitening toothpaste. What do you use . Crest whitestrips you should try them whitening toothpaste only works on the surface. But crest whitestrips safely work below the enamel surface. To whiten 25x better than a leading whitening toothpaste you used the whitestrips i passed the tissue test. Oh yeah. Would you pass the tissue test . See for yourself with crest whitestrips. They are the way to whiten. ,,, come on dogs just wont quit. Neither does frontline gold. Its triple action formula is relentless at killing fleas and ticks for a full 30 days. Good boy. Go for the gold. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Folks, my first guest is the emmy and Tony Awardwinning actress you know from fatal attraction, damages, and 101 dalmatians. Shes now returning to broadway in sunset boulevard. Please welcome glenn close because your kiss, your kiss is on my lips you know your kiss is on my lips applause my feet dont touch the ground. Stephen your feet dont touch the ground . I wish i could put something underneath there. Thats okay. Stephen i dont have anything. A little cushion or Something Like that. Nice to see you. Lovely to see you. Ive admired you and just i think youre wonderful so im very excited to be here. Stephen well, im a huge fan of yours, too, ever since i saw you crying in a chowr in big chill. Youre in sunset boulevard on broadway. This is a part you played in 1995, 22 years ago. And back then the reviews were unbelievable. This is one of the greatest performances on broadway of the 20th century. And now the reviews saying honest to god theyre saying this is one of the greatest performances probably of the 21st century. But the thing is, is that you won a tony in 95, so youre not eligible for a tony in 2017. That is bull. Well, does one also alzheimers do something to win an award. Stephen yes no. Stephen always, always you could look at it that it takes the pressure off. Stephen i guess so. Its fabulous. I just hope every one of my cass members gets nom nailtd. You play Norma Desmond. Cant you change the name to mary desmond. This is her sister. Totally different thing. Why did you want to come back to the role 22 years later . What does it say to you now when you when the movie was made it was 1950. Stephen 1950, and its about a female actress, female star who is sort of trying to reclaim her career. She was a great silent movie star, yeah. Stephen what does it say to you now . How does it speak to what the experience is to be an actress in hollywood now . First of all, i think Norma Desmond is one of the greatest roles ever written for a female, and certainly for a female who is you know, 50 and and im older than 50. So and because of that, it really there is a lot of examination. And its amazing to me to come back 20 years later and realize how much ive learned in life and how much ive learned about my craft. So it demands everything of you. It demands sing. It demands you know, you have to be very strong. And you have to its every night you create a unique community with the audience that comes in. And you have, which i think everybody longs to have, some sort of emotional connection. In real time. Thats what theater is. So you come in, and you have this extraordinary emotional journey in real time, and you create together this unique community. So im honored to be doing it. Im thrilled. Its kind of what we do. Stephen as an actress performing live on stage, is there any ideal show for you to do . Are you ever saying to yourself, okay, well get it perfect tonight . Or is it or is every night a unique challenge . Every night because the audience is unique. And the audience, i think is my collaborator. So craft will keep you at a certain level of performance. But then you always are searching for, you know, nuance, for i thought the other day, dont always read the line the same way. There are other meanings. You know, its just theres always something you can do. Stephen if you have an emotional connection with the audience on stage, what is the emotion . Is it always the same emotion . Is it a form of love or affection or can can there be a whole range of emotions with the audience . Well, you should have a range of emotions eye mean, it depends on what youre doing right . Stephen i dont mean the emotion of the character. But theres an emotional connection i feel an emotional connection with our audience and its one of affection. Total adoration. Stephen but its mutual. Yeah, its true. Its wonderful to be in a piece that people are are our response is phenomenal, you know. But i have this theory that that acting is a lot about physics, neuroscience. You can have a thought, and it can it can on stage and it can resonate with somebody in the back row. What is that . I think what we do is set up Energy Fields. You do it on your show. You set up literally an energy field and you shoot that out into the audience, and they shoot things back, and then it becomes this great exchange. Thats what i think it is. Stephen wow. That. cheers and applause . Is that something were supposed too talk about. Stephen i dont care what we are supposed to talk about. I like that. Thats very intimate. The Energy Fields and shooting out and shooting back in, it sounds a little sexual to me. Oh, well. That would be nice. laughter applause stephen yeah, but giuliani qot got all that stuff off of broadway back in the 90s. Thats true. Stephen how did you what inspired you to be i have my own role models for what i do for a living. Who were your role models when you were younger . When i was really young because i wanted to act when i was this big. Stephen did you . I loved the classic walt disdiz me films and then old yeller littlest outlaw, all those things, and i had a very, very active imagination. I was always pretending, all that kind of thing, like kids should do. And i went to school, went to college of william and mary. And i knew what i wanted to do. I just i felt stupid so i went to college. I think everybody should have a good, general education. And it was my senior year, i was, you know, painting backstage for a show, and i saw on television that the interview that dick cavett did with Katharine Hepburn, the only time hepburn had ever been on television, and it was captivating. And ive always had huge respect for her. And what came out of that i just, you know, was holding my paint brush and looking at it, and something said to me, you want to do that . Do it excuse me, i just blew out applause the next day, the next day, i went to my the head of the theater department, mr. Howard scanlon, he was kind of my mentor. I want you to nominate me for two national auditions. I got to the finals and i got my first job that fall in new york. Stephen wow, wow. Did you ever get to tell Katharine Hepburn this story . I was asked to help celebrate her at the Kennedy Center honors, and she was extraordinary. She came in black pants, a black rain coat, a neck thing, and black reeboks. How fabulous is that . Everybody is covered with jewels and all this stuff. Anyway, so, and i heard they showed a scene from guess whos coming to dinner with spencer tracy. And i heard her from the balcony, from where they were sitting saying, oh, spencer. laughter and she because i had done the Kennedy Center honors numerous times. And as far as i know, shes the only person who was celebrated who actually came backstage to thank the people who were there. And so that itself was amazing. But i told George Stephens who produced it this story about how important she was to me at a very seminal moment in my life. And he said, you have to tell her. You have to tell her. And i said, i cant tell her. So i told her. Stephen did she take it well . Well, she did. Stephen some people cant take that very well. When they find out theyre an idol they demur. I didnt come at her like an idol. I just told her the story and how at this certain moment in my life, you know, it just came together, and she gave meet kind of do it but she wrote me this letter and i brought it. Stephen is that what this is . Its one of my treasures. Stephen a letter from Katharine Hepburn. A letter from Katharine Hepburn. Dear glenn close, a great big hug for your sweet contribution. Im glad i persuaded you when you were a mere child to join this terrible profession. laughter this terrifying profession. And lets face it this delicious way to spend your life. With affectionate thanks, cate hep. applause . Stephen wow. Thats it it says it all. Stephen that makes the whole career worth it. Says it all. Stephen it was lovely to see you again. Thank you so much for being here. Dulsunset boulevard is at th. Glenn close, everybody well be right back