Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes seth rogen, Kumail Nanjiani, and paul shaffer and the worlds most dangerous band, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen woo yeah thank you very much woo thanks, everybody hey cheers and applause very nice. Hey, everybody audience chanting stephen thank you so much welcome to the late show, everybody cheers and applause woo thank you, ladies and gentlemen please, have a seat cheers and applause very nice. Very nice. Thank you so much, everybody. Welcome. cheers and applause welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Now, i hope you guys had a Great Fathers day weekend. Did you have an amazing fathers day weekend, jon . Jon great one. Stephen i had an amazing one. I slept till 1 30. Jon you slept . Oh, yeah, you were alone. Thats right. You were by yourself. audience reacts stephen alone with my dreams. laughter president had a nice one. The president was out at camp david. Must have been nice for trump to get out to the country to get away from the russia investigation because, honest to god, a break is just as good as a holiday. Because just last week, the Washington Post reported that the president is under investigation for obstruction of justice but, of course, dont get too excited. cheering thats just speculation from a hostile newspaper using anonymous sources, so donald trump did the smart thing and made no comment. laughter im just kidding. On friday laughter on friday, he tweeted i am being investigated for firing the f. B. I. Director by the man who told me to fire the f. B. I. Director witch hunt. Mr. President , you know the phrase you better lawyer up . Thats short for you better get a lawyer and shut up. laughter okay . Trumps tweet doesnt just confirm hes under investigation, it also blames Deputy Attorney general and accountant daydreaming of having sex with money, Rod Rosenstein. Rosenstein is the man who trump said told trump to fire the f. B. I. Director in a letter that trump asked him to write. Its all summed up by the famous plaque on the president s desk the buck stops wherever i told rod to tell me it should laughter and because rosenstein was in on talks about firing comey, rosenstein may need to recuse himself from the russia probe. That would make him the third member of this investigation to be gone, after attorney general Jeff Sessions and former f. B. I. Director jim comey. Its all in the latest season of survivor Justice Department island. And cheers and applause jon man, for real been in the gym, huh . Stephen rosenstein looks good. Rosensteins got hes wiry but hes jacked. laughter but its really weird for the president to even blame Rod Rosenstein, because remember what trump told lester holt regardless of recommendation, i was going to fire comey. I decided to just do it. I said to myself, i said, you know, this russia thing with trump and russia is a made up story. Stephen so, if trump says he decided to fire comey, and trump says Rod Rosenstein told trump to fire comey, that means trump is Rod Rosenstein laughter its a fight Club Situation cheers and applause its fight club theyre the same guy jon wow, the same cat. Stephen ive never seen them on camera together. Theyre the same guy. That explains why trump cant stop punching himself in the face. laughter and once again, sir, the first rule of fight club is dont talk about it. laughter so for damage control yesterday, the white house sent out trump attorney and mr. Burns lawyer from the simpsons, jay sekulow. applause piano riff jay sekulow was on all the sunday shows cbs, cnn, nbc, fox news, animal planet, and the handmaids tale. laughter so powerful. Such a powerful portrayal. And sekulow had one clear message the fact of the matter is the president has not been and is not under investigation. The president is not under investigation. The president has not been and is not under investigation. Stephen okay, clear as a bell. The president absolutely, positively is not being investigated by the department of justice. Im sorry, you wanted to add something. Hes being investigated by the department of justice. Stephen sekuloooowwww cheers and applause oh you had one job you had one job say hes not under investigation. But you had to go shoot your mouth off. Youre the President Trump of trying to keep President Trump president , and, i got to tell you, Chris Wallace noticed. First of all, youve now said that he is getting investigated after saying that you didnt. No. You you just said, sir, that hes being no, hes not being investigated you just said that hes being investigated. Sir, you just said two times that hes being investigated. No. The context of the tweet, i just gave you the legal theory, chris, of how the constitution works. Stephen and if i was lying could i hold up this piece of paper . laughter applause do you deny that this is a piece of paper . Its paper paper piano riff laughter and then, katy bar the door. I appreciate you trying to rephrase it, but im just being really no, sir, i didnt rephrase it. The tape will speak jay, the tape will speak for itself, you said he is being investigated. And its not just being chris he is i just no, wait a minute. Wait a minute, jay stephen please stop fighting. Please stop fighting. Its just so im sorry its just so upsetting to see my people middle aged, white men with dark hair and glasses turn on each other like this. cheers and applause cant we all just work out our differences over a craft beer and some tom petty music . laughter you dont have to laughter then sekulow tried to recover. I do not appreciate you putting words in my mouth when ive been Crystal Clear that the president is not and has not been under investigation. I dont think i could be any clearer than that well, you dont know that hes not under investigation, again, sir i cannot read the mind youre right, chris. I cant read the mind of the special prosecutor. Okay, good, were in agreement, you dont know whether hes under investigation. You dont know whether hes under investigation or not. Stephen so, to recap stick with me sekulow is saying trump is not under investigation, is under investigation, and he has no idea if hes under investigation. Okay . A good lawyer covers his bases. That way, when the judge asks, how does your client plead, guilty or innocent . He can answer, all of the above. cheers and applause now hes good. Hes good. Jon hes got it all covered. Stephen we have a great show for you tonight seth rogen is here paul shaffer is here stick around, everybody band playing cheers and applause in our house, we go through a lot of toilet paper. Mom so we switched to new charmin super mega roll. Get six regular rolls in one with charmin super mega roll our longest lasting roll. Guaranteed to fit. Enjoy the go with charmin. Woman so this happened. Nikki picked up some limearitas and thats when we knew it was going to be one of those nights. We started hanging a disco ball but then the ball reminded ava of her sequined dress. Now we have two disco balls. Limearita. Make it a margarita moment. Limearita. 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Presently on television. Jon there it is, were right here. Stephen because, and i say presently because tonight, were all extremely excited, and we know you at home are too, with us is paul shaffer and the worlds most dangerous band, for the very first time returns to the ed sullivan theater. Its going to be hot. You twice going to play together . Jon were going to scorch the stage. Were going to have the get the extinguisher afterward. It will be hot. Stephen well, folks, im also excited about my first guest is an actor, writer, and director you know from knocked up, the interview and this is the end. Please welcome seth rogen. cheers and applause band playing hi, guys hello. Stephen nice to see you, glad to have you on again. Yeah great to meet you, thank you. Stephen i like that tie. Thank you, its a cool tie. Stephen its a cool snake skin tie. Its cooler than i am. Stephen youre pretty cool. Thank you. I feel fantastic. That was a great boost for my ego. cheers and applause finally. Stephen i want to talk about, you know, you and the movies and your new project, the Second Season of preacher that you are producing and co directed and wrote. But lets talk about social media for a second. Lets do it. Stephen you have a fairly major presence on social media and made friends with somebody on social media that surprised me. Whats amazing about social media is if someone follows you on twitter and you follow them, you can communicate directly with them through direct messaging. Stephen if youre both on twitter. Yeah, if youre both on twitter and you follow up each other, you can open up a private conversation, as it were, and i found out donald trump, jr. Followed me. Stephen really . Yes. And i followed and i then followed him to try to open a line of communication. Stephen sure, of course. With the son of the president of the United States which is a pretty cool thing to try to do, i thought. Stephen ive got a couple of art cards here. Yeah. Stephen this is the first thing you tweeted this to him first. Would you mind reading it . I said, yo, donald trump, jr. , i notice you follow me on twitter, please ask your dad to resign before he destroys the planet. cheers and applause piano riff assuming he would do it. laughter stephen sure, yeah. Its like when you wave when youre driving, i waved, hoping he would let me in. Stephen sure. No response . He missed me on that one, which was shocking. I was polite. I tried to be polite. Stephen you said, thanks, dude. I said thanks, dude. Stephen this is the part i love. Because you said because you both follow, you can direct message, then you direct messaged him. I did. Stephen this is a message that up until this moment only he has received. I think i said, hey, man, its seth. Your father is trying to discredit our media, collude with russia and destroy our environment. It would be super cool for you to say, yo, dad, why dont you stop all this and just go back to being a guy on tv . The majority of the world would be pretty psyched, thanks. cheers and applause nothing. Stephen no response . No response whatsoever. Which, again, i thought i was pretty polite and measured and yeah, nothing, no response in any way, shape or form. Stephen when i heard about this, i went and looked and checked out my twitter feed and turns out he follows me, too. So i wanted to d. M. Him. We could double team his ass, yeah, man. Stephen or just reach out. Can i get in on this . Get in on this. Stephen i thought i would send him this. Im going to send him, sup . Hang with sethrogen, why dont you return his d. M. S . Ill tweet this too. How about we all chill together and burn one, dont tell jamesfranco. Very jealous. There you go, thats off to the president s son right there. I consider it another direct message as well, telling him stephen confirming were together. What colbert said is true. Were coming, hear my message. I sent him a third one late one night starts with, hey, man, dont mean to come across like a weirdo or anything laughter stephen thats a terrible beginning. Im creeping on him like somebody whos blocking me on tinder or Something Like that. Dont mean to come across like a weirdo, i just realized i could message you and thought i would. Maybe ask your dad to investigate if his campaign was in talks with russia. This was before the flynn thing. Maybe have somebody look into flynns ties to russia. Look, i was ahead of the curve on that one. Maybe ask him to go back to hosting game shows. He would prefer that. Then i sent another one, hey, dude, checking in. Seeing whats up. cheers and applause i think you see these. laughter stephen how could he not. How could he not. If not, my friend steve is getting in on this. Check it out. Stephen yeah. Its stephenathome, ask your dad to quit, please. Stephen thanks for the solid. cheers and applause its done. Yeah. Yeah. Thats done politely, its done with love. If that doesnt work, what will . Stephen right. Voting . Oh, no. Stephen we tried that one. You actually get a fair amount of heat yourself. Youre a bit of a scapegoat for people who do like the president , they told you to go back to canada because, spoiler alert, youre from vancouver. Im from vancouver, british columbia. Stephen are you ever tempted . Have you thought about blowing this popsicle stand and go back north . I havent been tempted. Not yet. Our Prime Minister is the most hes available. I call trump stump. Thats a funny. I think his biggest supporters would rather bang the Prime Minister of canada than him even, i would imagine, if given the choice. I would. Stephen you know what . A lot of people are just looking for a guy to make em laugh. Thats true. Thats why they would both choose me. But theyre legalizing weed the next year in canada, which is great. Stephen in vancouver, i have been to vancouver, you cant say its not legal there. Its legal in vancouver. Stephen on camera, people were trying to throw weed at me. Nothing happened to them. Sounds fantastic. Yeah, im from there. Yeah, thats why im like this. Stephen beautiful city. No, its a beautiful city. But im here to stay whether you like it or not, unfortunately. Stephen we like it. I hope you will stay. Well be right back with more seth rogen. cheers and applause band playing are you still trying to perform with an old computer . Thats like lebron. Trying to perform with old equipment. Ooh. Well that is not what the fans signed up to see. Is outdated Equipment Holding you back . Upgrade your game to intels fastest processor. You should probably upgrade those, too. Its my dale call. [engine revving sounds] if youre on a diet of taking it up a notch. Thats way better than my duck call. Drink diet dew. The only diet with dew in it. Tha. Oh, burnton gravy . Ie. Gotta rinse that. 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New charmin ultra soft is softer than ever. So its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird. Enjoy the go with charmin [brother] any last words . [boy] karma, danny. Karma [vo] progress is seizing the moment. Your summer moment awaits you, now that the summer of audi sales event is here. Audi will cover your first months lease payment on select models during the summer of audi sales event. 6 cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, were back with our friend seth rogen. cheers and applause now, seth, you have youre now in the Second Season of a project of love from your heart called preacher which you co write, codirect and produced. Based on the comic graphics of novel. What is it . A scifi, horror, dramatic comedy show wherein a preacher is embodied with the spirit of an angel and a demon which gives him, like, the baby of an angel and demon which gives him, like, a power, and he has a best friend whos a vampire, and his girlfriend is an assassin, and they find out god is missing from heaven and is somewhere on earth physically and theyre on a road trip to find him and bring him to whatever justice they can, basically. Stephen its an eternal story. Exactly, its one of those. There is a lot of stuff on tv now. You have to do something different. There is 20,000 shows. You might as well go for it, thats what we thought. Stephen Everybody Knows you as a comedy guy but you have an odd bent for end of days, sort of apocalyptic. Yes. Stephen with your buddies, you did this is the end. Yes. Stephen are you a doom crier . I do think the world is going to end, yeah, for sure. Stephen when the sun expands and swallows us or next week . Some idiots will blow it up. You can blow up the world, so some idiot will. laughter weve blown up everything we can blow up, so why would we stop with the world . I dont know. I remember when i was a kid, actually, i asked my dad, do you think the worlds going to end . And he looked at me completely seriously and said, it already did. Stephen what did he mean . I have no idea. laughter it was so dark. I was, like, six. Stephen you were six . I was very young. Stephen did he kiss you and say, sleep tight, honey . Exactly. It was a dark statement, i think about it a lot. Im afraid to ask him what he meant, honestly. laughter stephen you enjoy comedy, but do you enjoy gore . Because theres enjoyably grotesque stuff in there. I do enjoy. I grew up watching sam raimi an