After the Christmas Shoes Ladies if you are actively involved in church ministry 947 f. In the world wants to bless you with the spine and feed them with music worship rises in free lunch for all that attend space is limited sign up to be at 947 f. In the word dot com presented by the Denver Rescue Mission in Denver is only 947 f. And the words show a new word that changes the world. To 2947 I found the word dot com to download our free mobile app and listen to 947 on your phone anytime anywhere message and data rates apply. Here to answer them all if you are going to hear. This. 9470. 3 part of the Salem levy or the. One that's around new design Keith Peters in Washington a pastor returns to his shattered church in Texas in the aftermath of a horrific massacre that killed 26 people and injured 20 others Pastor Frank Pomeroy who was not of the church in Southern Springs but lost his 14 year old daughter on the shooting says it's been a difficult time. At a long night for their. Children. Pastor Pomeroy says he's leaning on Christ to get through the shooting that took so many of his congregation whatever life brings to you lean on the Lord rather than your own understanding I don't understand but I know my God that's really Meanwhile the gunman sent threatening text messages to his mother in law before the attack which appeared to have been driven by domestic tensions Investigators also revealed that the shooter have been confronted about domestic violence at least twice in the last 5 years including an assault on his ex-wife and a child that ended his Air Force career and another report of violence against the girlfriend who became his 2nd wife a New York New Jersey memorials for those who died in last week's truck attack on lower Manhattan by an Islamist terrorist there Bill de Blasio says it doesn't matter the nationality we feel the grief and comment this was not just an attack on 8 individuals it was not just an attack on New York City. It was not just the attack on the United States of America it was an attack on all of humanity the suspect in that attack is in jail recovering from injuries suffered when police shot him Virginia New Jersey are set to pick new governors Tuesday in what could be a telling referendum on President Trump's political popularity a year after he was elected Democrats in both states have tried to tie their opponents to the president and are eager to prove they can harness anti Trump energy and a success at the polls Republicans are looking to show they can have a winning blueprint in blue leaning states almost treated up by 9 points the Nasdaq rose 22 the s. And p. Advance 3 this is s.r.o. New Don't you wish there was an app that was for Christians an app that was private and safe an app that lets you build your own personal prayer circle containing only the people you know and love an app that not only lets you share prayer requests but also provides daily inspiration from scripture neither is Christian prayer power the smartphone app for Christians made by Christians for Christians it's free to download and free for 30 days see if you like it we respect your privacy and the importance of prayer in your life so we'll never sell your information and we never make you watch ads Christian prayer powers available for i Phones and Android phones download Christian prayer power now it's free to download and free for 30 days see if you like it Christian prayer power a smartphone app for Christians. The following program is prerecorded. The following dream recorded program is sponsored by New Life Ministries. Welcome to New Life like the Steve heart of burning toast Dr Henry Cloud Dr John Townsend Dr David stooped Dr Jill Hubbard Mylan your coverage Dr Sherry Kefford Chris Williamson Dr Alice spend your life live is dedicated to bringing you hope and help through practical and the book of solutions for daily living our goal was to provide you with wisdom from God's word for genuine spiritual healing if you have a question you'd like to ask today our phone lines are open call 180-229-3000 that number again is 180-229-3000 now here's Steve Harper. By everybody and. Now they're sad day No said David start off the program with a horrible horrible tragedy joining me today Dr Alice Benton and Dr De Steve hi guys Ok Steve. Well I say it's just so tragic and it is. You know it's just becoming more and more common and we hate it we all hate it and I just hope that all of us can be in prayer for the folks that were injured the families of those that were injured those that were killed it's just horrible and. Like you took out the whole congregation Yeah it's just unbelievable . I think it's a copycat. Yeah I think less make us right one thing happens and then that inspires somebody else to do something horrible I sure think it's evidence of just pure evil in the world is another thing I mean what can be more evil than walking into a small church where people are worshipping and and killing them and you have no connection to them just it's just horrible. It is to me confirmation of evil it is it draws me closer to God It makes me want more people to believe because if you I mean our only hope is the Lord and their only hope is if something like this happens that we have the Lord to comfort us to be present with us but in addition. The ultimate outcome of eternal life in heaven and so it doesn't cause me to doubt my faith if affirms my faith and I just hope and pray. That whatever happens the people involved will feel. The Lord and anybody else that has ever been tempted to do something like this that you could somehow see how selfish it is and how senseless it is and there is a better way to resolve things or express yourself or whatever it is very said Let's pray for those families. Lord we do pray for everybody involved and we we mourn with them. We grieve with them we pray for your comfort and we pray for your healing. And I just also pray that someone else tempted to do something like this my might be willing to take a 2nd look at the path they've chosen and choose a different path. And I pray all this in your name I mean if you are struggling it's causes you to. Trigger some anxiety depression whatever in you we have resources all you have to do is call us 1800 new life and we'll help you we'll talk with you will help you you know one of the one of the more strangers things we can do in a situation like this is to try to figure out why. And I remember Katherine Marshall saying when her grand baby was dying in her arms I'd rather understand I'd rather would experience your closeness. Then to understand you and I think that's what people need to do is to be drawing close to God in the midst of this kind of tragedy Yeah I absolutely agree. All right well if you want to join us we're going to be in the studio 3 hours 180-229-3000 come join us 180-229-3000 that is the phone number we'd love to have you here. We'll be back right after this but let's pray for all those who have been hurt and hurt. I am just so thankful for this weekend it's been amazing to see how Satan messes and marriages in so many ways my name is shelly martinez and I want to personally invite you to the resort workshop if you have been affected by the trail and might be that your husband has been looking at pornography that might be an emotional and physical affair but I would love for you to come join us through Shelly's example I have seen such transparency assisted in me using I just put in what I let out all the yucky details you will leave with hope with a community of sisters ready to support you and you also leave with tools to move you forward on this journey. Please don't hesitate pick up the phone call 1800 new like I would love to see you there the restore workshop is coming to Washington d.c. Nov 10th to the 12th call 1800 new life to find out more that's 186395433 are online dating life dot com 1800 n e w l i f e. To find out more information about the license or the order or any of the resources mentioned on today's program call 1800 new life now back to new lifeline. For banks the word of a new year and they're glad you're with us here today on New like live we're muting things in the studio so you don't hear that that echo there we're going to go right to the phones and if you would like to join us the phone number is 180-229-3000 we're all focusing on Thanksgiving between now and Thanksgiving let's talk with Kelly from Atlanta Georgia and Kelly she listens on the new life and app and if anybody wants a really easy way to listen and know what we're doing you just go to that new life app in the App Store but hi Kelly how are you today. So yeah I want to tell you all you have no excuse to not listen to new law if you can listen any time in the archives it's amazing it's rarely can I carve out a full hour to listen to it and that's most people question your work in that you know I never listen to a lighter and I think well thank you for that now tell me what's on your mind today how can we help you because that's what we're here for our id My question is I have a 23 year old college aged daughter living with a male and she says she would like to marry Mr Wrong. So my original question to the screener was that you can I get advice on relating and she help me define it can I get advice on how to get read. To you which. We need to work on far all right well what do you guys think I mean what's your 1st reaction to well the anything you want to ask her to clarify what's so wrong about Mr Wrong maybe that's where we should start yeah what is so wrong about Mr Wrong here Kelly Well what is to set aside the fact that I use my computer and when he did he did wrong e-mail an awful lot of pornography let's just begin that all right Ok And yes so wait wait you say Ok well that's that's good enough so I was out and I'm not saying that's bad that you have that you know more information well here's the thing so when you told when you told your daughter that simple thing right there what was her reaction to that. Ok Well basically he's hanging onto what I would understand from your program. Of all thinking and every testimony he's heard of and I'm here adults who said yes I did but I don't do that anymore or when he tells her that she has testimony Yeah I did but that's in the past your mom's there are in the past in my face that's her answer is that's in the past I believe him and I think any I've got 2 eyes and I know how to read date and not I don't know that 2 weeks ago it was that much care for just close he didn't do it today doesn't mean it's not active she However the longer this goes the once in her memoir vulnerable time she does say I don't really know what he. Thinks So with that let's give her some advice what do you guys think would be the best path here well I think if you can attack it head on you run into resistance and rebellious miss and your best bet is to invite him over for dinner so you can get to know him better and in the middle of the dinner you say are you still playing around with pornography like you get on my computer and just put it out on the table well we have done that in is basically So that's the pastor throwing acid in my. Mouth and then you would say well then I know that I know that Ok but then you would say well it isn't the past yet and so very far in the past 2 weeks doesn't count much so when when you get some help for that then that puts it in the past have you guys thought about you getting some help for that. Well basically my husband another man that's an industry leader that he respects at least when he comes to charge and well it's that person I put out there you need covenant eyes and you need to count ability which evolved for about 3 minutes and finally gave in he says I'm an adult I can decide what I want to do thank you for your advice then he finally gave in when he realized we aren't but gion these 2 men have made an effort to get help for him and he resists and resists and finally gives the in. Part I mean no reason I said apart from that he has no career goals at all and his blatantly said My daughter's in college he's not he's working fast. That I will get married she will graduate and get a good job and pay for him to go to school and he has no one because that's what his Ok so he has no tension I hear future Did I hear that he is engaged with some men that are really helpful to him including your husband. And I hear that he also is although reluctantly he's responding he's putting in Covenant eyes that's a good thing and I hear that overall in addition to this you think that he isn't you know that your your daughter is at a different place or is just in a better. Place than he is or is going to be so Alice what do you say here because this is a really really tough situation Kelly I actually want to add to Dave stoops point because if you push too hard I think you may lose a relationship with your daughter and she may run to him and then you lose some of your influence that you have over her so I want to ask you to consider coming alongside of them as a couple and even talking with your daughter about some of the requests that she might make of him for the safety of their relationship and I would talk about that that you want to help her with the safety of her relationship with him rather than saying you know we're trying to get rid of him or you shouldn't marry him because I do think she'll run from that So one thing I think your daughter should request is open access shared access to all e-mails and social media shared passwords as a trust building between them to see how he responds to that and then I'd also recommend that they be in couples therapy with a therapist who has knowledge of of pornography use and how it affects relationship and perhaps you offer that as a as a gift to them that maybe you cover some of the sessions if that's possible and I think showing support and concern for the 2 of them may get you farther with your daughter then warning her that she should leave this guy that she should run from him and you're right on Alice because. If they join in as a team because her daughter the freedom to say I really don't want this because it is the bigger than I thought and if you if you continue to resist it then she's got to prove that she's right you're wrong. And right in vice and we know that whenever a parent says no to a relationship it just fuels justification and wanting to be free not want to be controlled all of that in a relationship it's the same way you know except once actually leads to behavior change more than constant criticism and rejection we've we've seen that over and over so I really I think that if you if there's any advice frank advice we can give you is you must give up any expression of your better than him. And start to come alongside her from this angle that Alice is saying and I want to help you in this I want to be there for you and that's not going to be easy for you to be there for her because if they get married what are you going to do you want to relationship with her and she's going to need that relationship with you more than ever so the best advice get on her side and I think you might see her a little more of this her questioning or her making things like I don't really know what he does but he this is a person to hear that that gives her the freedom that's those questions Yeah it really does so I'm glad you called I'm going to send you take your life back I hope that that will be a great book for you in then here's let me send you smart love for her to reach if you just read it and specially if you think her love is not very smart is smart he's using then she reads that book and then maybe she discovers oh wow this thing about emotional intelligence that they even Janet written about this we're not ever going to have this and maybe that will help her to decide something different are glad that you call Ok let's go to our next caller real quick here and how about we talk with Lange from Korea Tex's listens on Sirius x.m. 1311 pm Hi there how you doing. Lane Are you there doing all right what's going on. Oh I'm gonna sit you a pastor a church oh down here and situation where 2 sex offenders x x x x and there's. One comes to my church both pitches were old and then one of the leadership. One prayer and one was single Christ worship. Kind of distraught about what to do if you know I would be about it you know God and I do too. Yeah but that's the only client. I know Ok Well well here's the thing. Forgiveness is a big element here but it's not the only element and it's just like when a let's just say a woman his unfaithful The man it's his job as a Christian to forgive her but he isn't going to forget what happened he isn't going to set himself up to be hurt again he isn't going to just act like it never happened because God's forgiven her you as the pastor can't act like this never happened right there our God has forgiven them but there are consequences that aren't erased with God's forgiveness or our forgiveness Now here is an issue you put either of them in a leadership position and you're saying they're Ok they're safe do you know that that's true are you are you aware of what they're doing to stay healthy and safe are they getting counseling are they in a recovery program what part of all that if they reveal to you. Well I do the recovery program I spent a lot of time with one of. The ones I had to come get it was too but. In a position to where he's. Afraid to be rejected. Ok then he's not ready you know if he's in a position to where he doesn't want to feel rejection and of course he's not far enough along in his recovery or treatment to do anything. In the area of leadership. Now Ok well let's hear from Dave and Allison I want to make one of the suggestion before we can go ahead Alice what do you think the one that the one that you're working with I would give him some responsibilities in the recovery program dealing with sexual addiction in particular because I guess that's where is knowledge base is that we've got real slow I agree with you you can't give your imprint to or of trustworthiness from them because there's more to sex offender issues than just the tops and the top layer there's an underlying surface things under the surface that are deeper in terms of the cause than a continuation of it and we don't know what's involved so I would be very cautious . Then right I got you Elaine I would just add I think you have a fantastic although difficult position here because you you have something that these men want and I think that could be used as motivation to help continue them forward in their own recovery process so when they have shown enough fruit of change over time and even Jesus says that about himself right if you don't believe my words check my action see what you think by my actions that they may be men who can share their testimony and perhaps not yet offer leadership in the way they have requested but as Dave is saying offer leadership with what they have are struggling with in their own suffering so I do see a lot of hope for these 2 men and for you in this position because there's a movement for them to share and to be conduits of God's grace within this recovery program that you have but being patient and seeing the fruit of change over time I think will be your role in protecting your congregation the other thing is I would if you were going to put them him the other one I just don't think it's appropriate at all but him in a leadership position hopefully you. You have a trusted psychologist trained psychologist that you know is a Christian is competent can be trusted and you would send this you'd say to this person look I can't just go by our recovery things in armies you know I need somebody else to help assess where you are in this I think that would give you so many say. My story includes mul