[ cheers and applause ] . Steve from studio 6b in Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests bill maher. World series champions, chicago cubs. Daveed diggs. Musical guest, muna. And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 566 steve and now, here he is, . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, please. Hey, welcome. Thank you very much. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. You made it. Youre here. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] youre part of the show. Thank you so much for being here, you guys. Heres what people are talking about. Of course, the election is finally here, and tomorrow, people who cast their vote will receive one of those i voted stickers. A different sticker this year. So, that happened. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] but it seems like everyones trying to get out to vote. In fact, golds gym is giving anyone with an i voted sticker a free visit to the gym tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. You can go from voting straight to the gym. If you can squeeze in a visit to the dentist, it will be the worst day of your life. Just get it all done. [ applause ] and listen to this. The New York Times reported that people running Donald Trumps campaign have blocked him from using twitter. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] more accurately, theyve switched his phone with a a calculator, and he still hasnt noticed. [ laughter and applause ] get this. Sources say that trump is already finalizing his cabinet in case he wins tomorrow. Yeah. [ audience groans ] Newt Gingrich would be secretary of state. And Chris Christie would be the wall. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and hey thats not that seems rude. Steve i dont think that is true. Jimmy that seems that just seems steve seems incredibly rude. Jimmy a little rude. Steve mean and rude. Jimmy this is interesting. I read that out of the 100 largest newspapers in america, hillary has been endorsed by 57, while trump has only been endorsed by two. Most shocking part of that story is that america still has [ laughter and applause ] cool. Wow. But the president isnt the only thing people are voting for tomorrow. Thats right. Voters in nine states will vote to legalize marijuana. Yes [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and if that doesnt pass, youll just have to keep easily getting weed from your dealer. So, thats [ applause ] what the hell, man . Thats right. Five states will vote for recreational, three states for medicinal, and colorado will vote for mandatory. [ laughter and applause ] steve really . Jimmy yeah, mandatory. Steve wow. Jimmy this is kind of scary. Samsung just this is real. Samsung just recalled 3 million of its washing machines over reports that theyve been exploding. [ laughter ] when asked why they didnt call too afraid to pick up the phone. Everything is blowing up. [ cheers and applause ] everythings blowing up in the office what is going on . [ laughter ] what is happening . You guys see this . Yesterday, Dale Earnhardt jr. Got pulled over for speeding. [ laughter ] on his way to a nascar race. [ laughter ] yeah. The cop who managed to catch him quit his job and became a a nascar driver. Its like, i caught you . Im fantastic. How did i do that . I saw this thing today that made me laugh. I saw that somebody figured out how to hook up a Big Mouth Billy Bass to an amazon alexa device. [ laughter ] i feel like its just the kind of thing we all need right now. Just take a look at this. Alexa, whats the weather . Currently, in cambridge, its 45 degrees with showers. Tonight, you can look for Rainy Weather with a low of 43 de [ laughter and applause ] jimmy thats fantastic. Thats amazing stuff. So, that clip that clip reminds me, tomorrow voters in nine states will vote on marijuana legalization. [ cheers and applause ] so, guys, as i said before, election day is tomorrow. Get out and vote. Obviously, the two candidates have been out on the campaign trail, but so has its like he has thousands of different facial expressions, one for every occasion. Now, we all know the classics like this one, the determined yet hopeful. [ light laughter ] but theres a lot more that you just dont see as often, which means its time for another edition of obama expressions. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this first lesser known expression is from a a meeting obama attended. Take a look. Its called the must stay awak this next one is from a white house event for kids. Its called the aint no thang. [ applause ] next one is pretty obvious. Its called the im going to look concerned until my translator lets me know what the hell it is hes saying. A campaign event. Its called cool story, bro. [ applause ] next one was taken outside the white house. Its called the whazzup. [ cheers and applause ] this ones a pretty famous expression these days. Its called the, trump shouldnt be president , hm, ya think . [ cheers and applause ] and finally, theres this one. Its called the totally missed this guys question because i zoned out thinking about the Gilmore Girls reunion. There you go, those are the obama expressions. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, thank you guys. Thank you, roots. Thank you, guys. What a hot crowd tonight. Hot crowd steve hot, hot, hot jimmy love it. Excited. I love you right back. It is monday. We are so happy to be back. We have a big week of shows coming up. On wednesday, Eddie Redmayne and lily collins will be here. [ cheers and applause ] were going to play a game of know it all. Be sure to tune in for that. Plus Martha Wainwright will perform for us. Then later this week, from the giant new movie arrival, amy an [ cheers and applause ] gonna be fun. But first, we have a big show tonight. Hes the host of hbos real time with bill maher. Bill maher is here tonight steve yes [ cheers and applause ] jimmy great guy. Funny, funny, funny. Great standup. Youve seen bills standup, right . Steve yeah, many times. Jimmy you probably even worked with him, right . Steve back in the day. Jimmy back in the day, here. Yeah. [ light laughter ] plus these guys are having a a pretty good week. From the world series, champions chicago cubs [ cheers and applause ] anthony rizzo, Dexter Fowler and mvp ben zobrist are all dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] the cubbies steve go cubs, go jimmy the cubbies. Oh man. Steve come on. Jimmy theres more show too. Joining us tonight, he won a a tony award for his role in hamilton, daveed diggs is on the show. Steve yes [ cheers and applause ] jimmy talented rapper as well as an actor. And we have great music from muna. Oh [ cheers and applause ] its going to be good. Its a good show tonight. Guys, last friday, we had alicia keys on the show, and shes the best. We love her. Shes very talented, incredible musician. But one thing i didnt know, shes a very fierce competitor. Before the show i popped into her dressing room to say and ended up getting into a little friendly competition. Check it out. Jimmy alicia, do you know what time it is . Yep. Both ultimate staring contest. . Jimmy this might take a a while. Coffee . Sure. Jimmy say when. . You want to get some sushi . Jimmy got one. . Im going to instagram this. Sushi. . Jimmy hey, ever been to the tenth floor . Some amazing views up there. Oh, that sounds nice. Jimmy beautiful, right . . Questlove guys ah jimmy gosh, quest, you ruined our staring contest. Questlove really sorry. Look, i was just going to say, you know like were always looking at the views from the tenth floor . Jimmy uhhuh. Questlove wait until you see the 12th floor. . Beautiful, right . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to alicia keys. Available in stores and on itunes. Oh, we love her. Well be right back with the very funny bill maher, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] . Sfx bell rings . . . . . . . . Youre ready. . . . . . . Is that coffee . Get ready to experience a cup above. Nespresso. Liberty mutual stood with me when i was too busy with the kids to get a repair estimate. I just snapped a photo and got an estimate in 24 hours. My Insurance Company definitely doesnt have that. You can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you . Liberty Mutual Insurance simulation initiated. . [beeping] take on any galaxy with a car that could stop for you. Simulation complete. The new nissan rogue. Rogue one a star wars story. . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, electric show tonight. Thank you, guys. Our first guest is a very funny, very talented man. He hosts the popular, longrunning television show, real time with bill maher, which you can see friday nights at 10 00 p. M. On hbo. Please welcome bill maher, ladies and gentlemen. Jimmy look at that. Bill maher on the show. [ cheers and applause ] well, you warmed them up so well for me. Jimmy before election day. Youve become such a good monologist, jimmy. Really. Jimmy really . Thank you, i appreciate that. Deal. Anyone following you knows that youve been trying to interview the president of the united states. Long time, yes. Jimmy yeah. Yes. It took eight years and a a petition. Jimmy yeah. To get a guy i gave a a Million Dollars to [ light laughter ] jimmy to talk to you. Thats usually an indication youre a fan. But yeah, we were there this week. It was a thrill to be back there. Oh, yes. Jimmy you ran this photo out there. Thats unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] could be president again. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy some people agree. Not that hillary would not be a great president , because not a great candidate. Not a great candidate. Jimmy not a great candidate. No. She campaigns like a hospice nurse. [ laughter ] thank you. The band liked it. I do it for the band. Jimmy yeah, you do it for the band. You get the band laughin just tricked snow white into eating an apple. [ laughter ] but she would make a fine president. Thats what you have to understand. [ cheers and applause ] this is not i know you have a young audience. Jimmy i do. And id like to speak to them. When youre young, you havent been around, because youre young. Jimmy yeah, you can talk to the camera. This is the young people camera. I see. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, got some nice music there. . I dont want to put to much pressure. But you know, they havent seen many elections. Ive seen many. Youve seen more than a few. And this has never happened before, this kind of an election. Where russia hacked one partys emails, right . You know this. Jimmy yeah. You know this, right . One partys one side. And the fbi is okay with the the fbi is our internal police force. They are supposed to not take sides. Theyre with russia. Okay . This is jimmy its crazy. Scary. Jimmy yeah, it is scary. When one side starts calling the other side criminal i mean, you may not like Hillary Clinton or agree with her policies, although, i dont know why. You know, they hacked her, and shes not that interesting [ light laughter ] jimmy pretty interesting, yeah. What did they find . They looked everywhere. I mean, her emails were intermingled with anthony weiners. No wonder she wiped her server. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy had it boiled. But what did they find . A tireless government nerd who never stops working for you. Jimmy yeah. What a criminal. [ cheers and applause ] you know . I mean, [ bleep ] gate was only a month ago. Jimmy mmhmm. [ laughter ] yeah. Right . [ cheers and applause ] and it really bothers me that you know . Like right. See . Somebodys with me on this. Its ridiculous i mean, this guy, you know, locker room talk. Locker room talk . Ive been involved in locker room talk. Locker room talk, youve done it, were guys. Locker room talk is, like, boy, she certainly is attractive. Id like to put my erect penis inside of her. [ laughter ] thats an attractive jimmy what locker room is this . Jimmy. [ light laughter ] but its hypothetical. I would like to. Thats not what he said. He said, this is what i do. I kiss people without permission. I grab them in the crotch. And by the way, give me a a tictac, im about to do it again. Jimmy yeah. Gop [ light laughter ] gop now stands for grab our [ bleep ]. Jimmy no, it does not. [ laughter and applause ] . Maybe. [ cheers and applause ] cant believe everything you read on the internet. All right, so [ laughter ] so youre rooting for trump, is that what youre saying . Its not funny. I mean, its funny, and we are trying to be funny. And, look, we are funny, but its not funny. Jimmy no, yeah. Because, i mean, this is a a whole different thing. I mean, and i did a mea culpa on my show friday night. I said, you know, i talked about mitt romney, george bush, reagan, mccain like it was the end of the world with those guys. This is different. [ cheers and applause ] this guy is different. They have no respect for the rule of law. Its only about vengeance. People say, can he win . Can he win . Does Chris Christie eat over the sink . [ laughter ] jimmy thats sometimes the best way to do it. Of course. And also, im scared because, you know, democrats never figured out, really, how to beat trump. By his own doing. You said it in your monologue. Now they took away his phone. You want to trust the guy with the nuclear codes, like obama said, who you cant trust with the phone . [ light laughter ] no, i think what the democrats have to do is what they do in serial killer movies. You know, when the cops cant figure out how to beat the serial killer, they get another serial killer to work with them who knows how the guy thinks. Thats what we we got to find another narcissistic [ laughter ] jimmy i dont think thats legal. I dont think thats possible. I mean, again, i can google it. So, what do you say to anyone whos undecided still . Well [ laughter ] i would say, really . First of all. Really . I mean, hes a racist, a liar, a tax cheat, a deadbeat, a a russian agent, and a sexual predator. [ cheers and applause ] how do you find your way out of the door in the morning . Is what i would say to the undecideds. But no, what i would say to the undecides, what im trying to say here, this is a different beast than weve ever encountered before. Jimmy yeah. And i shouldnt have been so hard on republicans in the past, because they i said horrible things about george bush, but he respected the first amendment. He respected the constitution. [ cheers and applause ] this guy does not. This will be a completely when fascists take over, they dont give up power. Get used to President Trump for life. Jimmy i knew you were going to be have strong opinions, so i [ laughter ] but thats why we love you. Thats why we im just telling you the truth. Their whole campaign hangs on the idea that america is in a a horrible place, and thats why we need the guy who can make it great again. But america isnt in a horrible place [ cheers and applause ] its just their alternative reality. Jimmy yes president actually did well. [ cheers and applause ] yes. Jimmy absolutely. But they cant thats not in their yeah, we actually can measure stuff now, you know . Facts, figures, theyre not in the bible, but we use them now. Unemployment was 10 . Now its 4. 9 . The stock market was at 6900. Now its at 18,000. The black president did well. But in their alternative reality, the black president is horrible. Americas hanging by a thread. I mean, if you listen to them, theres always a cold knife at your throat and a brown [ bleep ] at your lips. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] jimmy this is not hbo. I dont know if you know this. [ laughter ] it is tonight. It always is when im here. All right, bring out the cubs, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] the show. Thank you very much for coming on. And come back when bill maher, everybody [ cheers and applause ] catch real time with bill maher friday nights at 10 00 p. M. On hbo. Well be right back with the world series champion chicago cubs. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] . Those quick self sniffs. To check the ol smell levels. But this thing weve all done doesnt need to be a thing. Theres a smart way to stay fresh. Hanes with freshiq advanced odorprotection technology. Bonus packs available now. Remember 2007 . Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. A projector. A camera that actually zooms. Its a phone you can change again and again and again. Hello moto. Get excited world. Moto is here. The new moto z with motomods. Buy one moto z droid, get one free. Only on verizon. Ill call you back. Is this my car . State farm knows that for every one of those moments. Eres one of these. Sam, i gotta go. Is this my car . What . This is ridiculous this cant be happening this cant be happening oh, its happening sweetheart. Oh, its happening sweetheart. Shut up shut up thats why state farm is there, what a day. With car insurance, for when things go wrong. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guests and their teammates were down three games to one to the Cleveland Indians before staging a historic comeback that ended in game seven that is being labeled the best baseball game of all time. [ cheers and applause ] please welcome, from the World Champion chicago cubs, anthony rizzo, Dexter Fowler, and world series mvp ben zobrist [ cheers and applause ] . I mean i mean, you can i mean, the world [ cheers and applause ] the world the world is in love with you guys. Thank you so much for coming on the show. And i got to say, congratulations. It was the best it really was the best baseball game. I wish that you could have seen it. [ laughter ] ive seen it probably about five times on replay already. Jimmy you were working. You were working. It was unbelievable. And i just i freaked out. And we have a writer on our show named albertina rizzo, whos a big cubs fan and we all watched together with the writers, and she wouldnt stand up. She was superstitious that every time she stood up, the indians would score. And she squatted the whole game. [ light laughter ] every inning, she squatted. And for the whole game, extra innings, rain delay, whatever it was. [ laughter ] but she did it just to make you guys win. I mean, there was people jimmy she did it. Were you guys are you guys superstitious at all . Did you do anything that you go, oh, we got to keep doing this because now were winning . Did you do something where you go, ah, i shouldnt have put my hat on like that, cause now they scored . We definitely dont change seats on the bench when things are going well. Thats true. Everybody stays exactly same seats. Same thoughts. I was doing the same thing for the whole playoffs. If i had a good gam