Well protect you and your staff from all types of investigations including treason. Illegal arms sales. Anything that ends in gate. And killing mufasa. I heard he slipped. So if youre a world leader, call us today. The only thing youll be found guilty of is a great decision. We accept bitcoin, gold bouillon, and blood diamonds. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, stephen welcomes kevin spacey. Terry crews. And rob huebel. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen whoo hey hey youre sparkly. Audience Stephen Stephen stephen hey, everybody, please, have a seat. Youre too kind. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause uh, donald thanks so much. Donald trump may be out of the country, but he is still the toast of washington. Or whatever reason hes that color. I think its toasting. laughter today just today, this morning . The Trump Administration unveiled their 2018 budget, titled, a new foundation for american greatness, which is just a slightly grandiose for a financial document. Its like calling your grocery list a bold vision for yogurt and dog food. laughter now not a lot on that list. There wasnt a lot on that list. Now, uh, that foundation of americas greatness . What hes building that on . It turns out hes building that foundation out of the groundup bones of poor people, because this budget cuts things like the food stamp program, snap, and the Childrens Health insurance program, chip. So hes cutting snap and chip, to which americas children replied stop and help. laughter i know this is an unpopular position these days, but i believe children should go to the doctor and eat. laughter cheers and applause where do i find the courage . Where do i find the courage . Not in the white house. And the whole thing is particularly cruel to one Minority Group trumps voters. Because the president s budget hits his own voters the hardest, taking aim at the social safety net on which many of them rely. Its all there on trumps new hat, make the poor live on squirrel meat again. laughter meanwhile, budget director and newly appointed chairman of the lollipop guild, Mike Mulvaney told reporters, we are no longer going to measure compassion by the number of programs or the number of people on those programs. We are going to measure compassion by the number of people we help get off of those programs. Yes, its like the old saying, give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Take away his fish, weve got all the fish woohoo fish party cheers and applause now woohoo cheers and applause mick . Mike or mick . Mick mulvaney . Something like that. This budget is filled with brutal, senseless cuts to medical research, like 14 billion in cuts from health and human services, including an unbelievable cut of 19 from the National Cancer institutes budget. Now look audience boo stephen no, no, listen, listen, trump said wed be sick of winning, and he is ready to deliver on the first half of that sentence. laughter now, the budget also calls for major cuts to the centers for disease control. So whenever that thing inside steve bannon bursts out and goes airborne, we will not be prepared to handle it. cheers and applause ah, speaking of things that keep spreading, the russia investigation is only getting worse for the president. Last night, we found out that back in march, after james comey testified before congress that there was an investigation into collusion between the russians and the trump team, trump asked the director of National Intelligence and the head of the n. S. A. To publicly deny evidence of russia collusion. Fellas, you know that thing im totally innocent of . Could you crush that before it gets out . laughter just like comey, the intelligence directors trump talked to refused to help. So why did trump ask them . According to one Senior Intelligence official, trumps goal was to muddy the waters. Okay, let me get this straight. It goes drain the swamp, then muddy the waters. laughter muddy the waters, by the way cheers and applause muddy the waters, also, his environmental policy. laughter and earlier today, the House Intelligence Committee heard testimony from former c. I. A. Director and man asking if youve taken the picture yet, john brennan. laughter and and lovely, lovely picture. True to pretty much all the testimony about russia, brennan said something completely shocking, in the most boring way possible. I encountered and am aware of information and intelligence that revealed contacts and interactions between russian officials and u. S. Persons involved in the Trump Campaign that i was concerned about because of known russian efforts to suborn such individuals. And, it raised questions in my mind, again, whether or not the russians were able to gain the cooperation of those individuals. laughter cheers and applause stephen im awake im awake put me in, coach. Okay, that might have been boring, but what he just said is super important. Okay . Basically, hes saying, he knows that russia tried to recruit members of the Trump Campaign. Hes not sure if they did. Thats like saying, we know the mob tried to cut your brake cables. We just dont know if they succeeded. Here are the keys. Have a great drive. cheers and applause its full of gas mean while, meanwhile, across the pond, overseas, Donald Trumps magical misery tour continues. laughter after leaving israel, today, he got to rome . Today, President Trump arrived in rome. Hes so excited to finally meet jude law. Should be a good meeting. laughter you look much older in person. Youve got to moisturize. Now, rome is the third leg of trumps tour of some of the worlds major holy sites. And if i did not know any better, i would say that trump is really trying to get in touch with god, here. You got that right, stephen. Stephen oh, its god, everybody say hello to the lord. cheers and applause hey, hello, everybody. Whats up . Stephen thank you for being here, god. Well, technically, im everywhere, stephen. Im here, at every church, on a tortilla in guadalajara. Oh, no, wait. They didnt see me, and now they ate me. Dont know what they missed. Stephen well, lord, how do you feel about trump going to all these holy sites around the world . I dont know. You pray with three major religions in one week . Seems a little needy. Come on, buy a god a drink first. laughter stephen well, the president was praying to you at the western wall in jerusalem yesterday. Can you tell us what he prayed for . Oh, sorry, stephen. Unlike some people, i dont give away topsecret information from israel. laughter cheers and applause not this time. Mums the word. Stephen still, lord, youre getting a lot of attention this week. It must feel pretty special. Oh, not at all, stephen. This whole thing is just a distraction from the russia scandal. I mean, trump even asked me if i could get james comey to stop the f. B. I. Investigation. laughter stephen really, wow. So are you going to . No no, no, even if i wanted to help, i cant. You know separation of church and state. Plus, i really want to see that pee tape. laughter come on. Everybody knows its real. Stephen so dont know. Well, i do. laughter stephen so, is there any way trump can win you over . Well, at this point, hes got to go big you know, get swallowed by a whale, build me an ark, sacrifice one of his children oh, and a good one, too. Not eric. cheers and applause stephen nice talking to you. You too stephen nice talking to you, god. Now, if its okay with you, im going to go back to my show now if thats cool. You do you, stephen. Ill just be up here playing with my fidget spinner. laughter this thing helped me quit smoking. Stephen god, everybody weve got a great show for you tonight. cheers and applause kevin spacey is here. But when we come back, ill be right here. Stick around. Liz assumed all dressingsrust were made equal. Assume nothing. Just like the leading brands, these kraft dressings are made with high quality ingredients, at a price you can feel good about. No wonder kraft is so good. We, the device loving people want more than just unlimited data. We want unlimited entertainment. So we can stream unlimited action. Watch unlimited robots. Watch unlimited romance. If you are into that. But we also want more like. Unlimited hbo. Can i stop dying now mark . No cant do mi amigo. Its unlimited. Besides you are really good at it james. Dont settle for any unlimited data plan. 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Jon batiste and stay human. Say hello the band right over there cheers and applause jon hey stephen welcome back, my friend. Now, folks, before we go any further, i just want to take a brief moment right now to talk about the horrific attack in manchester last night. After tragic events like this, there is really nothing you can say that can approach the shock and grief of the victims and their families. But last night, our friend james corden spoke movingly and beautifully about that city that he knows and the spirit and the people he knows in manchester, and i recommend you go online to hear what he had to say. And all we can add here is that following acts of senseless violence, like this, its all the more important not to be controlled by fear, but instead to be reminded by the action of the people of manchester who rushed to the aid of their friends and strangers alike. It is just more proof that evil cannot succeed, as long as good people are willing to love each other. And lets all try our best to do that. cheers and applause now im going to go over there and do a couple more jokes. Come on, lets do it. cheers and applause now, i dont know if youve noticed, but while hes been overseas, the president has not been tweeting as much. I assume its because hes too cheap to pay for data roaming. laughter but it might also be because last week, trump aides staged a twitter intervention. What . You cant take twitter away from trump thats like taking the nudity away from game of thrones its the reason why we watch the show cheers and applause now, this twittervention was arranged because aides have been concerned about the president s use of twitter to push inflammatory claims. Yes, i mean, theres a lot of reason to be concerned. History has shown that if he keeps saying all this crazy stuff, i mean, he could win another president ial election. laughter and audience boo stephen keep smiling. laughter and theres urgency because trumps staff fears they may soon lose their jobs. As one source put it, the president goes through moods where sometimes he wants to blow everything up. Um, excuse me. If he goes through moods where he wants to blow everything up, maybe its not twitter you should be taking away from him. Now, apparently cheers and applause now, apparently, this intervention included white house staff only, but there are plenty of us who have been deeply affected by President Trumps tweets. So, i just want to take a second to speak to President Trump personally. I wrote this letter as part of the intervention, sir. laughter dear President Trump, your tweeting has affected me in the following ways my ratings are up. cheers and applause cheers and applause but, President Trump, some nights, half my monologue is just about things youve tweeted. Youre squeezing out other fun news stories. Did you know that San Francisco is opening a rat cafe . They are. Thats real. laughter you took that away from me. laughter we want you to accept help. Or at the very least, autocorrect. laughter how many ways can you misspell independent council . So please give up this harmful addiction and find another coping mechanism. Have you tried drinking . Because thats what ive been doing, and its going pretty great. Well be right back with kevin spacey. cheers and applause does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment . If you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. 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Unfortunately, he went on to have progressive disease i thought that he would be a good candidate for immune therapy. Its an intravenous medicine that is going to make his immune system evade the tumor. With chemotherapy, i felt rough, fatigue, nauseous. And with immune therapy weve had such a positive result. Im back to working hard. Ive honestly never felt this great. I believe the future of immunotherapy at ctca is very bright. The evolution of cancer care is here. Learn more at cancercenter. Com Appointments Available now. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Folks, my first guest tonight is a tony and Academy Award winner who is about to return as the infamous Frank Underwood on house of cards. cheers and applause how much more proof do you people need . cheers and applause i demand that every member of this house take a stand, like f. D. R. Before, and wilson before him. I demand that this congress declare a formal declaration of war, against them, both here and abroad the house will adjourn. The president will cease. I will not cease i will never cease stephen please welcome kevin spacey. cheers and applause band playing cheers and applause oh stephen look at that. Im afraid thats all we have time for. Oh, thank you so much. Good night. Stephen i love a guest who takes his time on the cross, saying hi to the band. Respect, youve got to. Good evening. Stephen good evening to you. Nice to see you. Stephen welcome back. Its been a while. Stephen its been over a year. Is this for me . Stephen it is yours. Lets find out. laughter thats the good stuff. Thats the good stuff. Stephen thats the good stuff. Yeah. Stephen so its been over a year since you were here. That is correct. Stephen and the last time you were here, a bit of a different world or at least different leadership, last time you were here. Yes, yes. Stephen is it is it odd to do a show like house of cards that does not seem as crazy as reality anymore . laughter is that a challenge in any way to you . cheers and applause well as Christopher Walken might say, its crazy. laughter stephen thats one of the things one of the things about house of cards is that you guys, for season after season, people would go how did you know the world was going to be the way it is . You know, like, you guys are sort of predictive. Well, its interesting that every season and i would say particularly this season we have you know, we come together. We do our bible of what were going to do in the whole season. We start writing. We write the episodes. We shoot the episodes. And then at some point between when weve shot the season and before it drops, three or four or five things that we have dealt with on the show happen in the real world. And we go, okay. Everyones going to assume we stole it from the headlines. But in fact, we did it first. laughter and i think actually whats been interesting this year sort of watching a lot of commentary. People have been saying house of cards is going to be boring this year. How can they compete with reality . laughter i have to say, in all honesty, i think weve never been more relevant. cheers and applause stephen the first time you were here, the first time you were here, i asked you like, you know, when Frank Underwood does his asides into the camera, is there anyone hes actually talking to. You said it was i think i said as a joke that it was donald trump. laughter