Me, my boss is insane [ light laughter ] youre being very mean to him you all have to stop doing this [ light laughter ] thats right. Sean spicer said that nordstroms decision to stop carrying ivanka trumps clothing line is an attack on the president , and hes also mad at mens warehouse, because he does not like the way he looks. [ light laughter ] you guaranteed it five other five other retailers, including neiman marcus, also announced that they are dropping ivanka trumps fashion line, while autozone announced theyll no longer carry eric and donald jrs hair grease. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hundreds hundreds of new York City High School and College Students yesterday, protested education secretary betsy devos confirmation. Okay, is protesting just going to be a part of our daily lives now . How do you think Michelle Obama feels that trump has gotten more kids outside in the past 19 days, than she did in two terms. She devoted eight years to getting young people exercising. Without even trying, trump has em walking 100 city blocks a day. [ laughter and applause ] that is that is an affront to our former first lady. The latest polls show President Trump has an Approval Rating in the low 40s, which means hes probably about to dump it for one in the low 20s. [ laughter and applause ] this this next jokes my favorite joke of the week. Its really [ light laughter ] the next joke im gonna tell you a very a very sophisticated joke, very intelligent joke, its a joke for intellectuals only. If you dont get this one, dont be hard on yourself. [ light laughter ] its an incredibly smart joke. Today was National Boy Scouts day, knot [ laughter and applause ] in a recent interview, President Trump revealed he has only been sleeping four or five hours a night, while ben carson is still getting a solid 24. [ laughter and applause ] a new ranking has named austin as the best American City to live in. Said betsy devos, congratulations, vermont [ light laughter ] a japanese man recently set a world record by snapping his fingers almost 300 times in a minute. Im coming, said his waiter. [ laughter ] and finally, according to a new study, a person is more likely to participate in abusive behavior online based on their current mood, like if theyre mad or if theyre very surprised they won. [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] from the new film, fistfight, ice cube is back on the show everybody. The legend, ice cube is here. [ cheers and applause ] shes starring in john wick chapter 2, ruby rose is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] very excited about that. And we have music from an american singersongwriter, ty segall is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so, its a great show. Youre here on a good night. And, again, i want to say thanks to my friend jimmy fallon, i was on the tonight show tonight. Always a delight to see him, always a delight to have him as my leadin. It is a great joy to be doing a show in the same building as him. Moving on, before we get to Everything Else in our show, the Trump Administration and the gop are already pursuing a slash and burn strategy to push their agenda through, which brings up brings us to the question, where are the democrats . And whats their plan for stopping trump . For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] it can be hard it can be hard to keep track of the procedural things that trumps government is actually doing on a daily basis, because every day theres some new, absurd controversy. Like on monday, when the New York Times reported, an indepth look at how isolated trump is in the white house, with this particularly eyebrowraising detail. When trump is not watching television in his bathrobe, he will sometimes set off to explore the unfamiliar surroundings of his new home. [ light laughter ] and you do not want to be on a white house tour when that happens. [ laughter ] over here is the painting of kennedy. Theres the bust of lincoln, and there are the nuts of trump. Now, there is nothing wrong with a man wearing a bathrobe. But trump was apparently so upset with the portrayal, he sent White House PressSecretary Sean Spicer out to refute it. That story was so riddled with inaccuracies and lies that they owe they owe the president an apology. Reporter what was inaccurate . It was the details. I mean there were start at the top. I dont think the president owns a bathrobe. Definitely doesnt wear one. Seth he doesnt own a bathrobe . [ laughter ] he doesnt own a bathrobe at all, he just owns suits that fit like a bathrobe. [ light laughter ] and just in case you thought bathrobegate couldnt get any sillier, the media actually dug up old pictures of donald trump wearing a bathrobe. [ light laughter ] its possible that the president does not wear a bathrobe now. We checked. He definitely wore them in the past. As you can see in this photograph that the daily mail published [ laughter and applause ] its apparently from a trove of late 1970s photographs obtained by a collector. Seth a collector . Whos collecting old photos of donald trump in a bathrobe . Oh right, right, right. [ laughter and applause ] but and this is important, while the media is obsessing over bathrobes, trump and republicans are quietly rolling back obamaera regulations on everything from the environment to wall street. For example, last week trump signed an executive order that began the process of repealing an obamaera regulation, mandating that any Investment Adviser must meet a fiduciary standard of acting in the best interest of their clients. Thats it. The rule they want to get rid of literally says you cant try to rip people off. Although i guess im not surprised trump would be against a no ripping people off rule, considering the diplomas at Trump University were just a piece of paper with the word psyche written on it. [ light laughter ] so the question is, can democrats do anything to stop trumps slash and burn agenda . Well, yesterday they got close, forcing Vice President mike pence to go to the senate and break a 5050 tie to confirm trumps pick for education secretary, betsy devos. Although, im sure pence was eager for any excuse to get the hell out of the white house. You guys dont know how bad it is. The president wears a bathrobe and lets just say, hes seen basic instinct. [ light laughter ] [ audience oohs ] now just how bad of a pick is betsy devos . Well, even republicans who voted for her think she needs to learn more about how Public Schools work. Yesterday nebraska senator deb fischer said, devos will have to be exposed to Public Schools to see how successful they are. Adding, i think what we need to do is make sure that we get the secretary of education out to the states, and out to these great Public Schools that we have. Shes admitting the education secretary needs to learn how to run Public Schools on the job. Thats like saying, the new bus driver doesnt technically have a license or any experience behind the wheel, but i cant think of a better place for him to learn, than while carting our children down the interstate. [ light laughter ] devos was nearly stopped in part, as a result of the intense Grass Root Energy building on the left right now. To give you an idea of how effective the womens marches have been, a poll found that 60 of americans say they support the womens march, compared to just 27 of americans who said they supported the Tea Party Movement in 2010. But democrats have to do more than just be against things, they also have to have something to offer to americans who were so desperate for change, that they voted for donald trump. Now some democrats do seem interested in acknowledging that their party lost touch with the working class, a Point Elizabeth warren made on saturday. In november, america elected donald trump. And yeah, the russians helped. And yeah, the fbi director helped. And yeah, he lost the popular vote by three million votes. But, we cannot let ourselves off the hook so easily. Not as progressives, not as democrats. The excuses end now. Seth the excuses end now. Elizabeth warren is like a High School Football coach giving a halftime speech. But the Democratic Party is like the Atlanta Falcons drifting off during a halftime speech and forgetting theres more football to play. [ audience oohs ] because Elizabeth Warren wants democrats to acknowledge that they made mistakes, and lost touch with the working class. But shes running into resistance from the old guard, led by nancy pelosi, who disagreed. Reporter how do you respond to her . Because you were just making a case that that the Obama Administration and the democrats who were in charge, were being responsive. Elizabeth warren is saying no, the democrats werent. What do you say to her . Well, i think she went on further to say, that it wasnt about what we had done, its how we did not message it. And that is reporter no, but she said no, she actually said the opposite its not about a new set of talking points. No reporter its actually about policies that arent working for those folks. Well, they but they have. What lets see the record. The record is that, what did we do . We bailed out the Auto Industry. Seth the Auto Industry . That was eight years ago democrats youre the pussycat dolls of capitol hill. Its been a while since youve had a hit. [ light laughter ] [ audience oohs ] in fact, pelosi ended up proving exactly why democrats need new leadership on monday, when at a press conference, she actually slipped into some old talking points and seemed to forget who the president was. While its only a couple of weeks since the inauguration, theres complete evidence theres pract and yet weve seen nothing that we can work that i can work with president bush on. And im disappointed [ laughter ] because i thought that there might be some interest, because of what he said in the campaign. Seth look at the face of the congresswoman behind her [ laughter ] when she says bush. [ laughter and applause ] thats the face you make when the best man forgets the name of the bride. [ laughter ] kaylas a great gal. I mean kelsey. Kylie . Wow, im sorry. Its just, hes been with so many women. [ laughter ] Bernie Sanders popularity alone should underscore the appetite for new ideas in leadership in the Democratic Party. Lots of people were feeling the bern. But i dont remember a single case of pelosi fever, also known as osteopelosis. [ laughter ] its medical its a medical term. Democrats democrats need to strike a strong contrast with the gop, because republicans clearly have no interest in listening to them. On tuesday night for example, Senate Majority leader mitch mcconnell, used an Arcane Senate rule to silence Elizabeth Warren, as she tried to speak out against trumps nominee for attorney general, alabama senator jeff sessions. Asked to explain why he stopped warren from speaking mcconnell said, senator warren was giving a lengthy speech, she had appeared to violate the rule. She was warned, she was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted. Nevertheless, she persisted . Mcconnell tried to slam warren, and instead he gave her the tag line for an action movie. [ laughter ] look, democrats, you have millions of fired up protesters demanding that you stand up to trump. More of you should be on board with warren. I mean, isnt there anyone out there willing to stand up and fight . Whats obama up to . Maybe hell come back. [ laughter ] oh, yeah, hes never coming back. Hes never coming back. [ laughter ] this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with ice cube, everybody. [cheers and applause] that tasty special sauce, that iconic big mac you know and love is now in a perfectly portable, smaller size. Thats huge. Juicy, cheesy, iconic big mac. Now in three sizes, for a limited time only. Sir . You give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. Can i keep the walnuts . Yes. But i get to pick your movie. Can i pick the genre . Nope. With the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Backed by the service and security of american express. You get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. [car[clicking of ignition]rt] uh wha woof eeh woof wuh [silence] [engine roars to life] [dog howls] dramatic opera music swells from radio [howling continues] so tasty. [cheers and applause] welcome back, everybody, please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also were so happy this week to have fred armisen back on the drums. Give it up for fred. [ cheers and applause ] and its so great to have you fred here, we always get to talk about your new and exciting projects and im just so impressed. Not only portlandia seventh season of portlandia. Thats amazing, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] fred thanks a lot. Seth and yet, you still have time to do other things. And one of the things thats been in the press a lot recently is fake news. Fred yeah. Seth the idea of fake news. Fred yes. Seth and ive heard and is this true that youve started your own fake news site . Fred i have, yeah. [ light laughter ] its called please listen to me. Seth okay. Fred and what it is is, its a news about whats going on in helmet factories around the world. Helmet factories, you know, like where they make helmets for motorcycles and stuff. So i wanted to focus it in on that. Seth okay. Fred because its theres so much fake news about, you know, other places seth you are a you have a website fred yeah, i know, i know. Seth that tells fake news about stuff that happens at helmet factories. Fred i know, i know. Seth but it seems like the hole, maybe, in your logic and i dont mean to beat you up on this. Fred yeah. Seth but it doesnt even seem like people want real news about whats happening. [ light laughter ] fred youd be shocked. Seth really . Fred i was shocked to find out theres a whole world about it. Because, you know, theres these helmets, that, and then theres these. [ light laughter ] seth well, give me a fake news story about a helmet factory. Fred hey, check it out, starting on thursday, theres a new helmet coming out, that is made out of balsa wood. [ light laughter ] seth and thats not true . Fred yeah, yeah. Between you and me its not true, but im going to put it out there. So, yeah. Seth and again it seems weird, the name of the site does not have helmet in it at all. Fred im work seth please listen to me. Fred please listen to me. So please check it out. Seth okay. [ light laughter ] give it up for fred armisen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is a rapper, actor and writer who you know from films such as, barbershop, 21 jump street, and ride along. Hes also a member of the rock n roll hall of fame for his work with nwa. His lastest movie, fistfight is in theaters february 17th. Lets take a look. All right, we got this. Yeah, we got this. You stabbed [ bleep ] me hard. Uh, technically this is occurring during school hours so i cannot stay out this sword. Who does this belong to . This man is honestly the drug addict, look at his eyes, theyre burgundy red. Let the record reflect his eyes are red. And its very dry in the room. Its not that dry. It is wet with life. Hes holding an ax. This is true as well. Mr. Strickland is brandishing a weapon. We all saw that. Seth please welcome back to the show, ice cube, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Yeah, man. I love portlandia. Seth youre a big portlandia fan . I love portlandia, man. Seth thats fantastic, im so happy to hear that. Its dope, its real dope. Seth i want to talk about the movie but i also want to talk about this other thing youre doing, thats very cool. Youre starting a Basketball League called big three. Are you talking about the big three . Seth big three, there it is. Yeah, yeah, big three. Yeah, you know, i got tired of saying my favorite players retired. Some guys dont know they out the league. They just dont get the call no more. Seth right. So, you know, i was like, yo, why are they retiring . Its because of the wear and tear. The nba schedule is real grueling, so i was like, yo, lets break it down, go back to old school three on three, halfcourt but have the pros play. Seth so these are recentlyretired guys who still have enough gas in the tank to play halfcourt threeonthree once a week. Man, we got allen iverson, chauncey billups, kenyon martin, jermaine o neal, richard lewis. Seth thats great. White chocolate. We got white chocolate, jason williams. [ light laughter ] so, you know, its just great. Seth thats great yeah. Seth now how do you decide whos on what team . Is that something thats going to happen down the line . Well, weve got eight teams, and we got eight player captains. And then they gonna pick a squad. We gonna have a combine and a draft. Seth oh, fantastic. Going to be real fun. Seth now, you have over the years, i know youre a huge basketball fan. Im assuming a lot of those guys are huge fans of yours. Does it do you get excited when you meet basketball players for the first time that you were fans of . Yeah, man, you know, theyre some of my favorite cats. I love and admire how they play basketball. I mean me and alan iverson we really just met for the first time. And man, it was a love fest, man. He loved me, i loved him. [ light laughter ] im a big fan of his. He a big fan of mine. Man, you know, so, you know, its cool to meet these guys. I was the same way with kobe, and shaq, and magic, and dr. J and, you know, michael jordan. Its just incredible to be able to meet these guys. Seth and youve had a chance to play in sort of celebrity allstar games. Youve played with magic, youve played with shaq. Yeah, yeah. Seth and then when you play with them because yo