Your next to the guy whose bad at being president. [ light laughter ] White House PressSecretary Sean Spicer today said, that President Trumps executive order on travel is not a ban, despite trump using the term in a tweet yesterday. And trump was so embarrassed his face turned red 30 years ago. [ light laughter ] according to a new poll 45 of republicans believe god helped elect President Trump. Though personally, i find it hard to believe that god would turn his back on his Old High School classmate. [ laughter ] youre leaving me hanging out here. [ laughter and applause ] i shared my sandwich with you. [ light laughter ] we rode the bus, and you forgot your sandwich. And i gave you half of my sandwich. Thats how i think it went down. [ light laughter ] according to a new poll, Chris Christie currently has the lowest Approval Rating for any governor in any state, in over 20 years. Wow, said former illinois governor Rod Blagojevich from prison. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump today met with executives from the pharmaceutical industry, and they once again explained to him that theres no such thing as viagra for your hands. [ light laughter ] come on. Do something. A group of more than 500 sledders at an austrian ski resort, recently set a new world record for the longest chain of sleds. Even more impressive, literally anything. [ light laughter ] oh, you were in that sled chain . Tell me less. [ light laughter ] according to a new study chlorine could make condoms less effective. Added one dad at a pool party, ryan, thats not what thats for. [ light laughter ] ikea has designed an Emergency Shelter that contains 68 components, and can be assembled in four hours. Unfortunately we dont have that kind of time. [ laughter ] whos got four hours to put Something Like that together . Over the weekend it was revealed that Melania Trump will appear in the february issue of vanity fair mexico. And thats fine, but what really got peoples attention was the cover photo, look closely at this. Okay now, what the hell is going on with that fork there . [ light laughter ] raises a lot of questions, doesnt it . Which brings me to a new segment we call a lot of questions. [ cheers and applause ] first off, is she going to eat those diamonds . [ light laughter ] also, donald, are you not feeding her . Or in the trump household are diamonds food . Ive got a lot of questions. Heres some more. Since shes also wearing jewelry, does she think shes wearing snacks . [ light laughter ] so is someone who eats diamonds while wearing diamonds, the same as someone who eats doritos while wearing doritos . [ light laughter ] so many questions. Also, do you think donald trump is happy to see his wife eating diamonds on the cover of vanity fair . Or mad because they put his quote in spanish. [ laughter and applause ] and and if its in spanish, does that mean they had to translate trumps original quote from russian . [ light laughter ] i have so many questions. Why is she twirling it like spaghetti . [ light laughter ] is that the right way to eat diamonds . Because when i eat diamonds, i just pop em in my mouth like skittles. Have i been making a fool of myself this entire time . And one last thing, isnt it weird that, this isnt that shocking . That its not even the most bizarre thing weve seen this week. Marie antoinette said, let them eat cake, and there was a [ bleep ] revolution. Meanwhile melanias [ laughter ] eating diamonds, and were all like, ah, it could be worse. It could be worse. [ cheers and applause ] this has been a lot of questions. [ light laughter ] its very sharp. A company is launching a new athome fertility test that uses your smartphone to measure sperm count. So i guess put it in rice after . [ laughter and applause ] an australian woman, recently called the police to complain that the price of marijuana in her community had risen. Though based on that story, so has the quality. [ light laughter ] youve got to be pretty stoned to call the cops. [ light laughter ] the Westminster Dog Show recently announced that for the first time it will feature cats. Unfortunately its at the concession stands. [ audience oohs ] [ light laughter ] its not our last joke about the Westminster Dog Show. Were going to win you back. The Westminster Dog Show has added three new breeds to its annual events. Said the dogs, yeah, last years after party got pretty wild. [ laughter ] and finally the Westminster Dog Show recently announced that for the first time it will feature cats. Okay, thats it. Youve got to stop signing executive orders. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. Hes starring in a fantastic very funny new film the comedian, hes one of our favorites. Robert de niro is back on the show, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] she is one of the stars of nbcs superstore, lauren ash is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and hes from the film the space between us, Asa Butterfield is joining us. And weve got a great show for you guys. [ cheers and applause ] you know, i am 43yearsold. I am married. I have a kid. But nothing, nothing makes me feel older than when i realize i dont understand the new slang the teenagers are using. And it seems like these days, teen slang terms are evolving so fast that sometimes its hard to keep up. So we decided to give you, a little primer on new teen slang terms in a segment we call seth explains teen slang. [ cheers and applause ] our first teen slang term is wikisaurus. Lets see what it means. Its when you write a term paper using only wikipedia and a thesaurus. [ light laughter ] for example, monica wrote in her term paper, George Washington was the primogenial president of the united states, and he expired in 1997. [ light laughter ] im pretty sure she wikisaurus that [ bleep ]. [ light laughter ] our next new teen slang term is spudly. Lets see the definition. Its a description of someone who used to be a stud, but now kinda looks like a potato. [ laughter ] for example, brandon used to have an eightpack back in high school, but i saw him at the gym during thanksgiving break, and his belly looked all brown and lumpy. Boys down right spudly. [ laughter ] up next, we have doobie howser. Lets see what it means. Its a doctor who you think is probably high. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence. Told my doctor that my head hurts and throat is sore and he just said, whoa, that sucks, man. While eating a bag of spicy cheetos. Doobiehowser. [ light laughter ] very helpful. Its very helpful term to use. Our next term is very new, its called skeeve bannon. Heres the definition, a guy lurking around the background, who you are sure is up to something. [ light laughter ] for example, keith just stood in the corner all night at maggies party, and didnt talk to anyone. When i looked over at him, he winked and blew me a kiss. Skeevebannon. Up next we have her gers. This is an expression used to greet friends, after one just had their braces tightened. Lets see it in a sentence. Her gurs, weres erp . Im brak from the orthodontist. [ light laughter ] i dont know. I dont know if thats technically slang. [ light laughter ] moving on, our next teen slang term is lando. Heres the definition. Someone who feels like theyre the only black person in the entire galaxy. [ light laughter ] for example, bought one ticket to last nights jason mraz concert, and i was definitely the lando in that room. [ laughter and applause ] stayine ha t rogue one. Lets see what it means, the scifi kid who shows up alone to prom. [ audience aws ] sounds like, we got some rogue ones in the house tonight. [ light laughter ] for example, richard showed up at prom without a date. When the d. J. Played 24 karat magic that rogue one did a light saber routine on the dance floor. Hansolo. [ laughter and applause ] next up, its sully, heres the definition. Someone who falls into the pool, and miraculously saves his smartphone. For example, mike had one too many shots of grey goose and tripped over a deck chair, and did a header into the pool, but somehow that sully managed to keep his phone from getting submerged. Miracleinthehudsonfamoo [ laughter and applause ] our last teen slang term is russian hooker. Lets seat the kid in your class who still wets the bed. [ audience oohs ] you know, because our president. [ laughter ] for example, daniel was late to school again this morning. He said he missed the bus, but i know that boy, a russian hooker. That was seth explains teen slang. Well be right back with robee cheers and applause ] vo love. I got it. I gotcha baby. vo its being there when youre needed most. Love is knowing. Hes the one. vo . It was meant to be. And love always keeps you safe. Were fine. vo love is why we built a car you can trust. Now and for a long time to come. A car you can love no matter what road youre on. The subaru impreza. More than a car, its a subaru. We cant stay here why . Terrible toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you. Charmin ultra strong. It cleans better. Tes stro. And you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. Pay stubs and Bank Statements to refinance your home. W2s, or you could push that button. [dong] [rocket launching] skip the bank, skip the paperwork, and go completely online. Get an accurate mortgage solution in minutes. Lift the burden of getting a home loan with Rocket Mortgage by quicken loans. 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No, this is a full blown move in to the basement, gon be out of. Aflac you might miss your rent. Aww i just moved out. Bummer man. Hey i used to have my own place. Yeah . No, no i live with my mom, but its cool. Health can change but the life you love doesnt have to, keep your lifestyle healthy with. Aflac [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band over there. [ cheers ] also back with us tonight, hes one of the most influential and indemand drummers in the world who has played on over 60 grammynominated recordings. His new memoir, sex, drums, rock n roll the hardest is out now. Kenny aronoff, everybody [ cheers and applause ] give it up for kenny thank you. Seth thank you for being here. Thank you, seth. Seth our first guest tonight is a twotime Academy Awardwinning actor and director you know from legendary roles in films such as raging bull, heat, and goodfellas. He stars as standup comic looking to make a comeback in the comedian, which is in theaters friday. Lets a take a look. So how are you . Im, good, good, you . Im good. Im good. Im lgo. K, i, i i lost a lot of gigs mmhmm. The last four weeks because of what happens. Mmhmm. Millers re you know. Shes rebooking them, but im tapped out. I need a l a le of [ bleep ] nerve. You know that . It happened so fast. I dont see you. I dont hear from you. Ive got to read in [ bleep ] google news that you got arrested. Im making amends. Am i nothing to you . I was preoccupied with staying single. Is my family nothing to you . Seth please welcome back to the show, Robert De Niro. [ cheers and applause ] thanks. [ cheers ] seth so happy to have you here. [ cheers ] hey, thanks. Seth by thy, hard for me to picture you cheering like that for anyone. [ light laughter ] when you were young, was there anybody that you if they had walked out, you would have cheered like that . Uh, no. [ laughter ] seth yeah. I cant even picture you, like, cheering. Do you cheer at sporting events . No. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Do you enjoy them . Do you like watching them . No. [ laughter ] seth yeah, okay. That would mean the cheering would be very out of place. I wanna get out of here thats the first time you worked with danny devito . Youve known him forever . Yeah. Ive known danny forever, but its the first time we actually worked together. Seth the scenes with him are incredibly funny throughout the film. It must be nice youve known him long enough that you werent actually you must have known he would be great to work with him. Yeah, no, i mean, it just never happened. And actually, taylor hackford, the director, was saying, lets get danny. I said, great, lets do it. Great, great. Seth its really fun. So, you played an old standup comedian trying to make a comeback. Older. Seth older, sorry. [ laughter ] because there are older there are people older than you in this movie. Oh, yeah, yeah. Seth and they look terrible. You look great. [ light laughter ] but you how did you come up with this idea because this sort of came from you and a couple of other people, right . I was just i think the idea of playing a comedian, i have many comedian friends. I love comedians. And i thought, you know, a chance to play a part where you can theoretically do anything, say anything, and itll be funny and clever and this and that. And thats you what say. Its like telling someone you got a great idea for a script, and itll be this, and itll be that. But then, you got to do it. Seth yeah. So thats the difference. But, so we finally did what we did, and did the movie after many iterations and a few different directors and so on, and it became what it was. So, i hope it was seth and you, this of course, beats your preparation as an actor, but you actually went and did some standup, yes . I did. I worked with Jessica Kirson and lewis friedman. And, id work at the comedy cellar, but not with an audience with, you know, people around, or some of the crew and this and that. I didnt do as much, really, of audience work, which is hard. Seth yeah. Thats really seth well, it would be very hard for you, lets say on a normal night at the cellar, if they said, we have a surprise for you. Its Robert De Niro. I dont think you would get a true read on how good a job youre doing. [ light laughter ] yeah, unless i told unless after, like, somebody said, youve got a minute. After that, if you dont you know, because everybody with who is ever playing. Seth yeah. If you go there, they wouldnt be there if they werent good. But they could maybe be getting a little dying a little bit maybe here and there. Youd see, you know, people kind of waiting for better stuff to come along. In my case, if i did you know, id came in, they were with me, i said a joke or two. And then, after that, id just kind of didnt know what i was doing. Id forget it. Itd be over. Seth yeah, it would be. Is that terrifying to you, the idea of bombing on the standup stage . Yeah. I mean, in that situation, when youre trying to be funny and people are not responding. In fact, when we were shooting seth been there by the way. Yeah. [ laughter ] when we were shooting some scenes, we had the extras there. So, id tell the joke, you know, a couple of times. After the second time, like, they didnt really you know, it was like, okay. I told the director, i said, something is wrong. I said, maybe ask everybody to be very responsive, because otherwise, it doesnt give me anything, and i feel like i am bombing. Seth right. I am. Seth yeah. At least they are acting, you know . Theyre making me feel good. [ light laughter ] even if they dont mean it, just do it. So thats what happened. Seth and the last time you were here, you mentioned you know a lot of comedians. You had the don rickles roast. That was in 2014. Yeah. Seth you and Martin Scorsese. How long have you known don rickles . Ive known don since we did casino, which was done about 22 years ago. Seth one of the things about being you sort of played this legendary comedian, but you also, in the film, were on the television show. You have a catchphrase. So, everybody is coming up to your character and asking to hear the old catchphrase. That must sort of ring true to something that happens in your life all the time. Not a lot, but sometimes people will ask me to do that. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth i feel like people would do it to you more than theyd ask you to do it. [ light laughter ] yes, thats a good point. Seth yeah. Thats a good point. Seth well, i know we well, the last music you know, write it on, you know, like a glossy or Something Like that or say it, or say, you know, maybe ill say it on an iphone or some way. Seth that must excite you. Not, not much, but [ light laughter ] seth its weird to me that someone, someone that is a fan of yours, its very funny to me they would be a fan of yours and not think you would hate that. Like, hey, my mom is on the phone. Would you say, are you talking to me . [ light laughter ] well, i wont say that, but ill talk to your mother. Seth oh, thats nice. Yeah. Seth is that fun to do . Yeah, i like talking to people. I dont mind doing that. I like that people appreciate it. I know that they really appreciate it, and i understand that. Seth its nice. Accommodating fans is so lovely. Yeah. Seth whereas in often times, those moments are wasted trying to get a memento, a photo, because then theres less time right. Seth to talk, and so, its nice when that actually has a chance to work. Right, right, right. Seth Harvey Keitel is in the film as well. Yes, harvey. Seth and harvey, actually, is in one of the scenes as asking you to do your catchphrase, and that must be weird, considering youve been in so many films with him over the years. Yeah, no, it was good. I like that scene a lot, and harvey was great. It was fun to do, you know, to work with an old friend. And were comfortable with each other. You know, its all great. Seth one of the grea