Wouldnt even be time to call your doctor yet [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thats right. President trump has removed Anthony Scaramucci as White House Communications director in just ten days. Now, ten days may not seem like a long time, but consider all the mooch got accomplished. He sold his company away. He gave a vulgar damning interview to the press. His wife filed for divorce. He missed the birth of his son. Thats more than trump has done in his entire presidency. [ cheers and applause ] according to the new york times, trump removed scaramucci at the request of incoming chief of staff john kelly. And when he heard that, Reince Priebus laughed for the first time in 18 months. [ laughter and applause ] after north korea tested a new Intercontinental Ballistic Missile on friday, kim jongun issued a statement saying the whole u. S. Main land is within his reach. Still not within his reach, the top shelf. [ laughter and applause ] new Jersey Governor Chris Christie was caught on video this weekend confronting a chicago cubs fan at a baseball game in milwaukee. I dont know. If you want to shock me, catch him on video governing in new jersey. [ cheers and applause ] the guys on a world tour. The people of new jersey elected me to see all of the baseball stadiums. [ light laughter ] a 2005 sketch of the manhattan skyline drawn and signed by President Trump reportedly sold for more than 29,000 at auction last week. And for that price, i hope they threw in the refrigerator. [ laughter and applause ] a new study found consuming too much sugar can make men anxious and depressed, which explains the new frosted flakes slogan. [ laughter ] starbucks has announced it will close down all of its Teavana Stores by next year. A shocking blow to the dull and personal gifts for an acquaintance industry. [ light laughter ] what are secret santas gonna do next year . [ light laughter ] and finally, a new report found that montauk is the most expensive beach destination in the country. Though theres one in jersey that will cost you your whole career. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, weve got a great show for you tonight. She is the star of a funny new movie. Shes one of our favorites. From fun mom dinner, Molly Shannon is back on late night tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is emmy nominated for fxs the americans, as well as a guest role on girls. Matthew rhys is back on late night. [ cheers and applause ] and music from one of my favorite bands, bleachers is here tonight. So its a great night. [ cheers and applause ] youre here on a great night. But before we get to all of that, the Trump White House faced more stunning turmoil today when new Communications DirectorAnthony Scaramucci was pushed out. And that comes just days after the resignation of former chief of staff Reince Priebus, as well as the failure of the president s Signature Healthcare bill. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth he may have been quieter than most other trump acolytes, but Reince Priebus was one of the president s most loyal supporters. He played a pivotal role keeping mainstreams republicans in line when most of the gop was trying to rebel against trump after he won the nomination. As you may recall, he lavished trump with praise during a super creepy Cabinet Meeting last month. On behalf of the entire senior staff around you, mr. President , we thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you have given us to serve your agenda. Seth ugh. [ light laughter ] you sound like a stalker. [ light laughter ] why dont you just go to his instagram and like 15 pictures in a row . [ light laughter ] what was going through his head when he said that . Oh, look. Theres history. Im going to go stand on the wrong side of it. [ light laughter ] theres a good chance thats where priebus was sitting when trump fired him. Although, i assume trump didnt actually say anything. He just pushed a button, and priebus fell through a trap door. [ laughter and applause ] but of course, trump wouldnt really use a trap door to fire someone because that is too quick and not nearly mean enough. What really happened is on friday, priebus deplaned from air force one and got in an suv with other staffers. While he was in the suv trump tweeted that he had named a new chief of staff. According to politico, other aides riding with him hopped into a different car once the tweet posted. [ laughter ] his suv separated from the motorcade and went on a rainy ride through washington alone. [ audience ohs ] even worse, it was only raining on that car. [ laughter and applause ] priebus was so willing priebus was so willing to demean himself in service to the president , that he went on tv and defended trumps many absurd lies, like the one about his inauguration crowd. An interview that left even fox news host Chris Wallace completely bewildered. On the left, you have got the obama inaugural crowd. On the right, youve got the trump inaugural crowd. Which one is bigger . You can i was there. You can i can take a picture of the mall right now. I was there. I was there in the mall. [ talking over each other ] its a ridiculous conversation. Great. Put up the picture again. Folks, put up the picture again. You can keep putting the picture up, but i can take a picture of wait a second. I can take an aerial picture right now, chris. And i can say, look at the difference. Seth thats right. He could take an aerial picture. [ light laughter ] in fact, it would probably be easier now, since hes currently atop the Washington Monument hanging out to dry. [ laughter and applause ] in fact, priebus was apparently so servile, that even trivial and demeaning tasks were delegated to him. For example, the Washington Post reported on friday that at one point, during a meeting in the oval office, a fly began buzzing overhead, distracting the president. As the fly continued to circle, trump summoned his chief of staff and tasked him with killing the insect. [ light laughter ] wow, you know your status is diminished when you can be replaced by a strip of sticky paper. [ light laughter ] also, you called Reince Priebus in to kill a fly . Should have called obama. [ smack ] nice. Seth now thats a death panel. [ cheers and applause ] and yet despite all the abuse and all the rumors for months, priebus survived the constant gossip about his rocky tenure in his appending firing. That is until trump hired his new Communications Director, former wall street financier Anthony Scaramucci. Scaramucci, 114 pounds of alfredo sauce, hair gel and rage [ laughter ] tore into priebus in a profanitylatent tirade last week, calling him a [ bleep ] paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac. I love that he used the word, paranoiac. Paranoiac sounds like a town on long island. [ laughter ] how did you get to the hamptons . Oh, you just take the l. I. E. Past ronkonkoma and sagaponack until paranoiac. Boom youre there. [ laughter and applause ] and scaramucci [ applause ] scaramucci had not limited his attacks on priebus to public interviews. He also trashed him in private. According to the daily beast, two sources who have known scaramucci for years say said he called Priebus Reince penis. [ light laughter ] so its official, the white house is a middle school cafeteria. [ laughter ] im sorry, reince. Let me make it up to you. You know, the president and i, you know, we want you to join our reading group. But its called the pen15 club. you just have to write it on your head, and youre in. [ laughter and applause ] so trump faced a choice. He faced a choice, and he chose scaramucci. And as we know, trump is nothing, if not loyal, which means the mooch is here to stay breaking news out of the white house, Anthony Scaramucci is out as White House Communications director after just ten days on the job. Seth man, thats a kick in the reince penis. [ cheers and applause ] scaramuccis last name is longer than his tenure. [ light laughter ] even in his last job, trump only fired one person a week. At this point, getting fired is part of orientation. Heres your desk. This is your extension number, now clean out your desk. [ light laughter ] but just think about that. Scaramucci got priebus fired, and then, he got fired two days later. Thats like telling someone, see you in hell, and then literally showing up in hell the next day. [ light laughter ] now the question is, who will be the next Communications Director . How do you top scaramucci . Would it be an air horn with chest hair . [ light laughter ] a lasagna with a switch blade . A Monster Energy drink with googly eyes . Who knows . But its important to remember that while the white house is in chaos, theres also another dysfunctional branch of government, and thats congress. Because on friday, the white house suffered its most humiliating defeat yet, when gop the healthcare bill was shot down in the stunning late night vote in the senate. Three gop senators, susan collins, lisa murkowski, john mccain voted against the plan. And it happened in the most dramatic way possible with mccain waiting until collins and murkowski had already voted to deliver the final blow. With Senate Majority leader Mitch Mcconnell standing right there in the middle of the chamber watching it all unfold. It was approaching 1 30 when the main crucial climactic vote began. Collins voted no. Murkowski voted no. But mccain didnt answer when his name was called. Hed walked in seconds later, stands in front of mcconnell and ask for the clerks attention. Mr. Peters. No. [ gasps ] of course, majority leader Mitch Mcconnell, arms folded, staring at mccain, watching him walk up the floor knowing the bill was dead. Seth look at mcconnell. [ light laughter ] he looks like a bunch of teenagers just raised up money to save the rec center he wanted to tear down. [ light laughter ] you know, there was one take away from the healthcare vote on friday night, its this. Cspan needs better cameras. [ light laughter ] kids are shooting hd movies with iphones, but i have to watch this high drama on a 1980s mall Security Camera . [ light laughter ] i need closeups, dramatic zooms. Somebody shop a gopro to Mitch Mcconnells head for god sake. [ cheers and applause ] do something. Heres Something Else important to take away from in the healthcare debacle. Its not just trump. The Current Republican Party is just as incoherent and just as dysfunctional as the Trump White House. They wrote the bill, known as the skinny repeal, over lunch on thursday and released it just hours before the vote. And republicans, themselves, even the ones who voted for it, hated it. Senator Lindsey Graham put it this way. The skinny bill policy is a disaster. The skinny bill, as a replacement for obamacare, is a fraud. Seth and then he voted for it he is like a groom whose vows are just a list of grievances. We have nothing in common. Your parents hate me, and ive cheated on you many times. Anyway, im sad to say this, but i do. [ light laughter ] now, trump and his team like to repeat the lie that obamacare is imploding, which its not. But trump does has the power to blow it up, by among other things, withholding subsidy payments for low income people. And now he is threatening to do that, tweeting over the weekend, if a new healthcare bill is not approved quickly, bailouts for Insurance Companies and bailouts for members of congress will end very soon. Trump is actively threatening to blow up the Healthcare System because he didnt get his way. Its like were all on the bus from speed. Trump is dennis hopper, the bus is obamacare, and bernie is an old guy in the back yelling, this ride should be free of charge [ laughter and applause ] so with [ cheers and applause ] constant, constant turmoil, grinding the business of government to a halt, whats trumps next move . Well, it looks like he is leaning harder into authoritarianism. On friday, during a speech to Police Officers on long island, he literally urged them to commit acts of brutality. And when you see these towns, and when you see these thugs being thrown in the back of a paddy wagon, you just see them thrown in, rough, i said, please dont be too nice. Like when you guys put somebody in the car, and youre protecting their head, you know . When you put their hand like, dont hit their head and they just killed somebody, dont hit their head. I said, you can take the hand away, okay . Seth after that comment, the Suffolk CountyPolice Department was actually forced to issue a statement making clear that, as a department we do not, will not tolerate roughing up prisoners. And that comes in the same week the boy scouts were also forced to issue a statement distancing themselves from the president. So, the police and the boy scouts have both rebuked the president s comments. Whats next . We here at the Public Library in now way support no way support the drawing cartoon wieners in the margins of books . Were at the point now where all of the president s speeches will have to be followed by a legal disclaimer. May god bless the United States of america. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] the views an opinions expressed by president of the United States do not necessarily reflect those of the United States, its government, its people, or any affiliate, groups, organizations, or subsidiaries. [ cheers and applause ] by reading this, you know now that all opinion can be or are intended to be fictitious. And resemblance to actual facts or to reality is purely coincidental. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with Molly Shannon, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. What makes a lipton meal . First you start with this. These guys. A place like shhh no. Found it and definitely lipton ice tea. Lots of it. A lipton meal is what you bring to it. And the refreshing taste of lipton iced tea. Wiback like it could used to . Neutrogena hydro boost water gel. With hyaluronic acid it plumps skin cells with intense hydration and locks it in. For supple, hydrated skin. Hydro boost. From neutrogena out out get get get grrr did you find everything okay, sir . Whaaaaat . She pretty much lives in her favorite princess dress. But once a week i let her play sheriff so i can wash it. I use tide to get out those week old stains and downy to get it fresh and soft. You are free to go. Tide and downy together. Twith choices like the classicr. Crab lovers dream and new favorites like dueling crab legs with dungeness and snow crab. Its happening right now right here at crabfest. Red lobster. Now this is seafood. Whats going on here . Um. Im babysitting. Thatll be 50 bucks. You said 30. Yeah, well it was 30 before my fees, like the pizzaordering fee and the dogsitting fee. And the rummage through your closet fee. Are those my heels . Yeah yeah, were the same size. In shoes. With tmobile taxes and fees are already included, so you get four lines of unlimited for just 40 bucks each. For a limited time save 300 dollars on the amazing iphone 7. Seth welcome back, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight, fred armisen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] so great to have you here, fred. Fred thanks, seth. Seth its been a while since ive seen fred, and every time you come back, i feel like you have lived this fascinating life and you have all these Amazing Stories from the time that weve been apart. Fred yes. Seth and i do sometimes worry that you have made up these stories and theyre not actually true. Fred uhhuh. [ laughter ] seth and i just want to say that im your friend, i love you no matter what, you dont have to impress me with made up stories. Fred okay. [ laughter ] seth well anyways, you know weve been talking about on the show that you know, Chris Christie has had sort of angry confrontations with people recently, and i heard you backstage saying that you recently had an angry confrontation with Chris Christie. Is that true, fred . Fred i did. A really angry confrontation. We were in i was in las vegas. Seth uhhuh. Fred and i was just, you know, Walking Around the casino, just trying to, you know i try to go to all of them. [ laughter ] you know what i mean . Just try to hit every casino. Seth theres so many casinos in las vegas. Fred so many but seth why do you try to go to all of them . Fred because its one visit. You know what i mean . So i just went from and then he so im about to get on this tram, and then he comes up to me, he is like, hey man, thats my tram. Im like, i dont care, ill walk. So hes like, sit down. Im like, all right, ill sit down. Stand up. Why do you want me to turn around. [ laughter ] go in to the luxor. And im like, thats like a mile away. Hes like, lets just go to the he started to become friendly. Seth oh my god. Fred so he wanted to go in to the luxor. Seth so this is really hot and cold. Fred hot and cold