Transcripts For WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon February 16, 2017

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 625 yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi welcome, everybody. Welcome. Thank you for being here welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone. Welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause ] this is it baby thank you so much for being here. I appreciate it. Thank you for watching at home. Im your host, jimmy fallon. You guys, from the voice, we have gwen stefani on the show tonight [ cheers and applause ] or, as one guy put it, finally a judge i respect. [ laughter ] lets get some news here. The big story is that last night the New York Times published a bombshell report that president Trumps Campaign was in contact with russian intelligence since 2015. [ audience oohs ] when asked if it was true, trump said, nyet i mean no [ laughter ] steve ah. Jimmy of course the story is all over cable news and trump is not happy about it. In fact he went on twitter this morning and said that msnbc and cnn are unwatchable. [ light laughter ] then he said, and i know, because i spend all day watching them. [ laughter and applause ] and this week ivanka trump tweeted a photo that shows her sitting at the Oval Office Desk with her father and canadian Prime Minister justin trudeau. Heres the photo right here. Yeah, it says, a great discussion with two World Leaders about the importance of women having a seat at the table. But did you notice something odd in that photo . Can we zoom in to the bottom righthand corner . [ laughter ] i just you got to be kidding me thats right. Steve are you kiddin me . What . Jimmy actually, heres some good news. I just saw that abc Just Announced that rachel lindsey, a 31yearold attorney, will be the first africanamerican to star as the bachelorette. [ cheers and applause ] there you go. Even more impressive, she is the first bachelorette with a a real job. So its a [ cheers and applause ] im an aspiring dolphin trainer. [ laughter ] im 24 years old and im an entrepreneur. [ laughter ] im 21 years old, im also an entrepreneur. [ laughter ] actually, were all entrepreneurs. Im also training to be a a dolphin trainer. [ laughter ] so we have two dolphin trainers and three entrepreneurs . Yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] get this, you guys. Singer elle king just revealed she ate a bunch of pot muffins before the grammys this year. [ laughter ] people notice that she seemed high when she went up to make her acceptance speech. You know, because she didnt win any awards. And it was just you go, but that was its just, what are you doing . Steve what is that . Jimmy let her do it i guess. She could sing. Steve nyet. Jimmy i read that a woman in california is suing the company that sells mike and ikes candies because she claims the boxes are only half full. [ light laughter ] you have to admire her, even though shes suing, shes still an optimist. You know [ laughter and applause ] could be suing because theyre half empty you know. Steve come on. [ applause ] jimmy and finally, a new report finds that over 55,000 bridges in the u. S. Were found to have major structural problems last year. When asked how theyre going to fix them, the government was like, eh, well cross that gaping hole when we get to it. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all week it was youve been doing al jarreau all week . Questlove yes. [ inaudible ] jimmy oh, man, i love that. Yesterday we did the theme from moonlighting. Questlove moonlighting yeah. Some walk by night well fly by day moonlighting strangers who just met on the way jimmy then he goes who just met on the way [ cheers and applause ] steve whoa jimmy al jarreau. Ah, hes fantastic. Steve fantastic. Jimmy off the charts. But first, we have a big show tonight. We love her so much. She is making her return to the voice this season, the one and only gwen stefani is here steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i love gwen stefani. Shes so good. Sings. Talented. Dances. Oh shes just the coolest. Also joining us tonight, a very talented actor, for the new thriller, a cure for wellness. It looks, good and creepy and good. Steve ooh. Jimmy yeah. Dane dehaan is on the show tonight. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hes a stud plus, he is the writer and director of la la land which is nominated for 14 academy awards. Wowzers. Steve wow. Jimmy Damien Chazelle is dropping in. And i love that movie [ cheers and applause ] oh. He also did whiplash too. Hes just a talented guy. Oh and we have great great music. Remember when had pharrell on . Steve mmhm. Jimmy not too long ago. And he was talking about this girl that he saw at a master class and he was giving notes. And he had these kids were getting up and singing, performing a song . Well she got up and performed this song for him. He had no notes. He was like, whew. Who are you . Whats going on . This is you are fantastic. And now she has like i just checked, she has 800 billion hits. Steve 800 billion . Jimmy yeah. Steve thats a lot. Jimmy i well i steve even on the interweb thats a lot. Jimmy im not wearing my glasses, but yeah. Steve youre not good with numbers either. Jimmy whats that . Steve how many commas are there . How what does it say . Jimmy it has two commas in it. [ laughter ] could be a typo. Steve yeah, could be a a typo. Jimmy she is so good, though. Oh my gosh. Maggie rogers is here tonight. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, i dont know about you guys, i love podcasts. Steve oh, man. [ laughter ] jimmy i was just listening to it this weekend, i was going to wait wait dont tell me. Steve oh. Jimmy its a yeah. I love that. Its a great its a great show. Npr, but i love [ cheers and applause ] but theres all sorts of great podcasts out there. Theres so many good ones out there. But anyways, the other day i was scrolling through itunes and i noticed that theres a a lot of obscure podcasts i had never heard before. Steve really . Jimmy yeah. So i thought that we could check out a few of them. So you guys know about them. Its time for tonight show podcasts. Here we go. Tonight show podcasts yeah steve oh, wow. Going to listen to them. Thats great. Jimmy whats up . Steve yeah. Jimmy you got that . Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] oh there we go. Its a pen drive. Jimmy hmm. Steve bluetooth. Jimmy yeah this is bluetooth. So i can this is the new thing from bose. Its the marker steve oh the marker 7000. Jimmy the marker 7000. [ light laughter ] this is first podcast is from our friend, tom brokaw. We love tom brokaw. Steve oh yeah. Love him. Jimmy he was on the show. [ cheers and applause ] legend. Steve wonderful man jimmy this is called tom brokaws dinner time. Steve oh. Jimmy apparently tom records himself eating dinner every night. [ light laughter ] steve great. Jimmy sounds interesting to me. Steve lets listen. Lets listen up. Jimmy lets take a listen and see what it sounds like. [ eating sounds ] now thats good honey baked ham. Steve wow. [ cheers and applause ] id listen to that. Jimmy honey baked ham. Steve you get better reception, now . Oh there you go, there you go. Jimmy here we go. This next podcast here steve god. Jimmy this ones good. This is called betsy devoss animal hour. Steve ooh. [ audience oohs ] jimmy you know she is the new education secretary. Steve oh, really . Jimmy yeah. So this is a podcast where she, betsy devos, names some of her favorite animals. Steve oh. Jimmy its really interesting. Lets take a listen. Steve well, id love to hear it. Jimmy here you go. Theres dog, cat, kitten, moosy, elfaphant, hippopopamus, unicorn, leprechaun, horse moose. Oh merry horse moose, everybody jimmy i mean, you get the idea. Steve i get it, i understand. Jimmy its pretty informative. [ applause ] this next podcast. Oh, this is a real rare one. Steve a rare one . Jimmy if you can get this. Yeah. It depends where what wifi youre at to pick steve to pick this one up. Jimmy yeah. Steve its only on 802. 11. Yeah. Jimmy its called this next podcast is called, bob dylans celebrity prank calls. Steve oh. [ audience oohs ] jimmy its pretty selfexplanatory. Its basically just bob dylan prank calls other celebrities. In this episode he calls Sylvester Stallone. [ light laughter ] and lets give a listen to it, see what it is. [ bob dylan impression ] [ Sylvester Stallone impression ] [ inaudible ] [ cheers and applause ] steve hes angry. Jimmy you think hes mad . Steve and mad. [ applause ] i think its good, i like it. This one steve its like you cant hear through those. Jimmy whats that . I do this. Steve its almost like they cant like theyre ear muffs. Jimmy when im usually djing, i you know steve oh thats how you dj . Jimmy well i hear the one. I want to hear the wheel of steel on this side. Steve right. Jimmy and then this one i want to hear the humans. Steve right. Jimmy and then also be able to control the wheel of steel on this side. Steve so you have two wheels of steel . Jimmy of course. Steve amen. Jimmy ive got two turntables and a two turntables and a a microphone, man. Steve two turntables and a a microphone. You and beck . Jimmy this next podcast is called, aziz ansaris chain restaurants seven dwarfs podcast. [ light laughter ] so its hosted by aziz ansari and he lists off steve yes. Jimmy in this podcast he lists off the names of either a a Popular American restaurant chain. Steve right. Jimmy or one of the dwarfs from snow white. [ light laughter ] steve sure. Jimmy lets listen. And here what he says. Arbys. Wendys. Kfc. Grumpy. Applebees. Friendlys. Sneezy. Hardys. Happy, dennys, sleepy. Coldstone creamery [ applause ] steve they all end in e. Jimmy thats 45 minutes long, that podcast. Steve oh, my god, thats a a great podcast. Jimmy this next podcast steve brain wave. Oh man, its geordi. Its geordi from star trek. Live long and prosper. Jimmy stop man. Why does everyone recognize me . I just want to come to the bar and be alone by myself. [ light laughter ] steve oh my god, its geordi its geordi Geordi Laforge jimmy can i get two shots of can in get two shots of tequila, please. [ laughter ] why does everyone recognize me . Ugh, its annoying. Steve come on man. I just want to go to the jefferies tube and hang out. Come on. Jimmy i just want to go to a bar and just chill out. And i dont want to be recognized for being on star trek. Yes, it was on for 20 seasons. Yes, there i have dolls that look like me. But i just want to get can i have two shots of tequila, please . Steve two shots of romulan ale. Now its a headband. Yeah. [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] jimmy this one is steve what is this one . Jimmy this is a great one. Its educational one for kids. Steve oh good. Jimmy this is, shaggy sings the abcs. [ light laughter ] and it features steve shaggy from scoobydoo . Jimmy no, shaggy the rapper. Steve oh. Jimmy shaggy the rapper, and hes teaching kids how to sing their abcs. Lets listen to this. A,b,c,d,e it wasnt me h,i,j,k,l it wasnt me im gonna mix them up with strawberry jam w,x,y it wasnt me yah, mon. [ air horn ] jimmy yah mon. [ applause ] steve wow. Jimmy yah, mon, he said. Last podcast, this is a real podcast. The other ones steve oh. Those other ones were japes or jokes. Jimmy well theyre real, but this ones really real. Steve oh this ones really real. Jimmy this is our buddy, shaq. Shaquille oneill has a a podcast. Steve oh, right. Jimmy yeah, its great. The shaq podcast, which is hosted by shaquille oneal. In this episode he interviews kim kardashian. Steve oh. Wow. Jimmy lets take a listen. The newest episode. This is shaq podcast. This is shaq cast. Welcome back. Im shaq. My guest today is kim kardashian. Hi in shaq news, i just saw the new Lego Batman Movie. You see that movie, kim . No. Why not . Its a great movie. I dont know, i just havent seen it. Come on. Its legos. Its batman, fun for the whole family. Its legos. I know, i just havent seen it. I want to see it again. Lets go see the lego movie you and me. No. Lets go tonight. No. Lego. No. Lego. No. Lets go see lego. No. Leggo my eggo. Remember that . Yes. Thats not legos. Thats waffles. They should make a lego out of waffles. Or a waffle out of legos. I bet you can fit a lego perfectly into a waffle. Waffles look like legos. Waffles are the legos of breakfast. You can quote me on that. Want to go see the Lego Batman Movie with me . No. I hate it when i step on a a lego. Im shaq. [ cheers and applause ] steve hes shaq. Jimmy waffles are the legos of breakfast. Steve yeah. Jimmy thats all for tonight show podcasts. Well be right back. With popular more tonight show everybody. [ cheers and applause ] surprising moments. Theyre everywhere. And as a marriot rewards member, i can embrace them all. The new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts at members. Marriott. Com. To help provide access to cleanh water to womeng and their families in the developing world. We can be the generation remembered for ending the global water crisis once and for all. How do you become americas bestselling brand . You make it detect what they dont. Stop, stop, stop sorry. You make it sense whats coming. Watch, watch, watch mom. Relax im relaxed. You make it for 16year olds. Whoawhoawhoa and the parents who worry about them. You saw him, right . Going further to help make drivers, better drivers. Dont freak out on me. Thats ford. And thats how you become americas bestselling brand. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is a a threetime grammy awardwinning artist who is returning to the voice this season. Which premiers february 27th at 8 00 p. M. Right here on nbc. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome gwen stefani [ cheers and applause ] i was like, i know that song jimmy yeah. Thats crazy that was crazy. Thank you. I was like, this is good song. Oh, its mine. I didnt know. [ laughter ] jimmy thats one of my songs. Pal, i always love when i have you on the show because i feel like ive known you for a long time. Stop. I just want you to know, i am the biggest fan of you. Like i love you so much, and i just need to [ cheers and applause ] get that out of the way. Okay. Now we can be friends again. Jimmy really . Okay, good. Okay. Jimmy thats pretty cool. Hows hows blake hows blake doing . Lets just talk only about blake. Cause hes so awesome. Jimmy hows Blake Shelton . I love Blake Shelton. I love blake, though. I love blake too. Jimmy i love all of his all his stuff. He loves you. Jimmy he does . I love you, you love blake. Jimmy i made him try sushi for the first time ever. That was that is so funny. Because that was so incredible, by the way. It was genius. Genius, genius. So that night he came home and i was like, god, i just watched your thing, it was so funny. Im like, we should go to sushi tonight. Like i really like now i really want to eat it. Like its looks good. You know, it sounds good. So i dont know i was like, lets go. And he was like going along with it, okay, sure. You know, we get there. And as we get out the car, some guy goes, oh, hey like, of course, everybody recognizes him wherever he goes. But we walked into the sushi restaurant and literally the entire restaurant like stood up and was like, blake like it was like jimmy hes mister sushi now. It was like the whole world had just watched it. And we walked in the room. I felt so bad. Because he really is like a a country boy. Like, he does not like going out. Jimmy no. He kept calling sake, rice wine. Rice wine. Jimmy rice wine give me more of that rice wine. [ laughter ] how cute is that . Jimmy i dont want to no, hes pretty cute. Yeah. Hes pretty cute. Jimmy i went out to yeah, i know. I think hes the cutest. I [ laughter ] and the milking one was good too. Jimmy i know, but we like to just, show each other new things. I tried to show that to my children, i was like, im not sure if this is appropriate. Like this is jimmy this is just milking a cow. Yeah, well . It was weird. [ laughter ] this was like jimmy do you show each other new things . I mean, cause hes not an l. A. Guy, right . No. No. Actually, not at all. And i think that hes quite miserable when he is not in the woods or like, somewhere like in camo. Jimmy yeah, hed rather be [ laughter ] there has to be camouflage five feet in his radius or else doesnt he freaks out. He really likes to be camouflaged. [ laughter ] jimmy hes here tonight. Hes the couch. There thats blake. Oh, there he is. Jimmy you cant even tell that hes here. Hes really good. [ cheers and applause ] congrats. Thats when he commits. He commits. But you took him to disneyland. I took him yes. And hed never been to disneyland. I was like, you are your life is not even complete yet. Like what are you doing . Jimmy i know did he like it . I was nervous because i know that for me, like, obviously i just go anywhere. Like i know im going to get, like, hounded or pictures or whatever. But i dont mind, you know what i mean . For him, hes just hes not used to that. Like i said, hes in the woods most of the time. Jimmy he just hides out. Yeah. But yeah, we went. And it was crazy. It was like a billion people there. Jimmy did you do all the did you do space mountain . He wont do the roller coaster. Hes totally like [ laughter ] it was that was jimmy im writing this down. Sorry. [ laughter ] that was almost a deal breaker for me. Jimmy really. Yeah. I was like jimmy what do you mean he doesnt do roller coasters . Hes Blake Shelton. I know. Weird. [ laughter ] actually, imagine though, because he doesnt fit in anything. So, like, wed be on we did go on jimmy cause hes just a a giant. What is it called . Matterhorn. He did that one. But he barely fit inside the little thing. Its like his knees were, like, up like this. Jimmy like magilla gorilla in a car. Yeah. Did he go on its a small world . Yep. Yes. Jimmy thats my jam. Thats my jam. Yeah, i love that one. Yeah, i got to do that one. Lll i just thought, thats my favorite. I bring the babies there. Yeah. But clearly its for me. Im like blow my nose. Jimmy lets do it one more time. The babies want to go on again. [ laughter ] im like so excited. Like, lets do it. Oh my god, im crying. I would jimmy theyre singing in different languages. I go, oh my gosh. I love here is a photo i saw. I thought this was pretty awesome. Its a picture of blake and you at disneyland. But, then look at this. This is my first visit. [ laughter ] he got a pin. He got a button on him. [ applause ] so cute jimmy oh, my gosh. Season 12 of the voice. Is it season 12 already . I know. Jimmy but the voice is back. Youre back. Im so happy youre back. Im so happy. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we love you on there. We love you so much on there. You give good advice. And you can tell that you enjoy it. Like you want to break somebody and you want to mentor them and help them. And you are just great. Youre one of my favorites. I think one of the things about the

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