And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 663. Yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats what you want. Thats a crowd right there. Looking good. Looking good out there tonight. Welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] this is the one you want to be at. Heres what people are talking about. This is nice. I saw that the white house invited reporters to bring their kids with them this morning for take your kids to work day. Or as trump calls it, every day. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] but it was really sweet, trump asked the kids what they want to be when they grew up and then they asked trump what he wants to be when he grows up. [ laughter and applause ] a ghostbuster. [ laughter ] you want to be a ghostbuster . Paul ryan even had a few kids in the audience when he was talking to reporters today. And listen to what one of the kids said when he was taking questions. This is real. Thank you, mr. Speaker. Steny hoyer and democrats say that they will uhoh. Uhoh . [ laughter ] jimmy uhoh. It actually wasnt a child. It was the voice inside paul ryans head. Hes like oh buh buh, uh oh. [ applause ] theres a lot going on in washington right now. Trump is working on a new budget. Tax reform, healthcare and trade. So to make sure he doesnt forget anything he actually likes to set reminders on his phone. Let me show you what i mean. For example, he has this one reminder that says play tetris to practice building the wall. [ laughter ] he needs a reminder. Steve he needs to remind himself of that. He might forget. Jimmy his next reminder says, have assistant finish New York Times crossword puzzle. Leave on desk so people think i did it. [ applause ] that works. Next one reminds him to find out if tax plan is available as book on tape. Just read it. Just read the thing. Next one says south korea equals good, north korea equals bad. Steve wow. Jimmy remember that. Steve you got to remember that. Dont get them mixed up. Jimmy and finally his last reminder says 3 00 a. M. , tweet 3 00 a. M. The perfect time. [ cheers and applause ] i saw that trump appeared with education secretary betsy devos yesterday. Trump had three words for betsy. Really exceptional job. Betsy said, i have three words for you. Thank you. [ laughter and applause ] this is pretty big, President Trump has abandoned his plan for the u. S. To withdraw from nafta even though it was a key issue during the campaign. I guess he wants to focus on a a different nafta called north americans for twitter attacks. [ light laughter ] thats right, trump had threatened to withdraw from nafta and he has been talking to canadian Prime MinisterJustin Trudeau and mexican president , enrique pena nieto, about it a lot. Now, many people say that trudeau and pena nieto are some of the best looking World Leaders but i think all three of the nafta leaders have a lot going for them. Take a look at this. [ cheers ] [ laughter ] jimmy i figure they all got something going. Steve they got it. They got it going on. Jimmy meanwhile, trump just released his new tax plan and treasury secretary, steve mnuchin, said that it would be the largest tax reform in u. S. History. Take a look at what else he had to say. First mnuchin said, President Trump is very serious about mnaking mnajor tax cuts. [ laughter ] then he said, did i mnmention its the largest tax reform in u. S. History . The president along with mnmyself are dedicated to mnmaking mnamerica great again. Finally [ cheers and applause ] finally, he said, thats our mnmission. Anyway, if you mneed mne ill be eating mnmm and mnms, while watching my favorite actor mnmatthew mnmcconaughey in mny favorite mnovie, and mnagic mnike. There you go. Thats [ cheers and applause ] steve mnarvelous. Jimmy but trump is still struggling with his approval rating. In fact, i heard about a new antitrump bar that just opened here in new york city. Where all the profits go to causes that appose President Trump. Its getting pretty popular. Take a look at this bar. A new antitrump bar in manhattan is giving patrons the chance to put their money where their politics are. The founders of coup say that the space is in response to republican president Donald Trumps administration. Jimmy hold on. Can i i think i noticed something in the background. Can we go back to the bar and zoom in . Yeah, thats it. [ cheers and applause ] the best customer. Steve wow. Thats a big drink. Jimmy couple of frozen margis. Steve thats like a a scorpion bowl. Wow. Jimmy Cinco De Mayo somewhere, dude. You guys see this . To get to get to a meeting at the white house yesterday everyone in the senate took a a bus from the capitol. Theyre not really used to traveling like that, but look at what they said during the ride. Bernie sanders said, can we change the Radio Station . Why is it always top 40 . What about the bottom 40 . Theyre the ones who need our help the most. [ cheers and applause ] the bottom 40. Next, ted cruz said, i thought this would be a perfect time to eat an egg salad sandwich. On a tiny bus . Steve on the bus . Jimmy and finally, im not sure how she got on the bus but betsy devos said the wheels on the bus go square and square. [ cheers and applause ] steve thats not a square. Jimmy no, just let her sing it. Actually, guys i saw that United Airlines fell by 66 in an annual survey of passengers favorite airlines, down to just 3. 3 . Although, that means that 3. 3 of travelers saw a man get dragged off a plane and thought, this is my favorite airline. [ laughter and applause ] steve what . Jimmy this was kind of weird. Federal agents just seized 300 pounds of yak meat that was illegally smuggled into jfk airport. [ laughter ] and somehow jfk still smells less like yak meat than laguardia. I dont know even how thats possible. [ applause ] steve yak meat. Jimmy yak meat. Speaking of yak meat, taco bell is in the news. [ laughter ] steve hey oh jimmy no, i love taco bell. Theyre in the news. I saw that theyre going to start selling beer, wine and margaritas at their locations in canada. Between that, healthcare and legal weed, canada is so popular, theyre thinking about building a wall. You cant come in here. Its a party. And finally, this is pretty amazing. A startup in sweden is testing Artificial Intelligence to try to talk to dolphins. Until now, the closest weve come to hearing dolphins talk was watching keeping up with the kardashians. Hi, guys we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats the band. Thank you, roots. Hey, guys, tune in tomorrow night. The legendary martin short will be here. [ cheers and applause ] plus, from girlboss britt robertson. And were going to cook with jessica seinfeld. Its gonna be a good show. And also we might have a a special appearance from jiminy glick interviewing donald trump. Steve really . Jimmy thats the rumor. Steve thats the rumor. Jimmy thats what i heard. But first we have a giant show tonight. Shes great in everything she does. Shes having a big, big year. She stars in beauty and the beast and now, costars with tom hanks in a new film called, the circle. Opening this friday. Emma watson is stopping by. Steve oh jimmy come on. [ cheers and applause ] emma watson. Steve come on. Jimmy shes good. Steve the best. Jimmy going to be she s a delight. [ cheers and applause ] plus hes the host of the emmy nominated series united shades of america, he has a new book coming out next month w. Kamau bell is dropping in. Steve yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy also joining us tonight, theyre pizza tossing prodigies. They call themselves the jersey pizza boys. Michael and Nicholas Testa are here today. [ cheers and applause ] they throw pizza around. Steve so good. Jimmy i love stuff like that. And two of my favorite standup comedians, the lucas brothers are here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] they have a new netflix show. I love these guys. They are so good. Every single time. Guys, it is time for tonights show hashtags. Here we go. Hashtags hashtags jimmy hashtags. Hey, guys, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and then we ask you guys to respond to that topic. So i heard about i heard about this dentist who supposedly pulled someones tooth while riding on a a hoverboard. Everybodys talking about it. Its one of the strangest news stories ive seen in a while. So i sent out a hashtag called, my weird dentist. I asked you guys to send us funny or weird stories about your dentist. We got a giant response. In fact, within 30 minutes it was a trending topic in the u. S. [ cheers and applause ] so thank you for getting involved with us. We love doing that. Now i thought id share some of my favorite, my weird dentist stories from you guys. Here we go. This first one is from mitchbytes. [ light laughter ] steve hes tweeting about a a dentist, mitch bytes. Jimmy mitch bytes. Well, yeah. He bites probably thanks to his dentist. Steve yeah. Jimmy but bytes. Steve oh. Jimmy like a robot. [ laughter ] steve mitch bytes. I dont have a dentist. Jimmy do not compute. He says, when my dentist takes off my bib, he always puts on a a british accent and says, were the lobster to your satisfaction, sir . [ laughter and applause ] i like that. They were, jeeves, thank you. This ones from watras1, he says, my old dentist always tapped my nose and said boop before looking at my teeth. He did it until i was 20. [ applause ] enough of the booping lets get to the get to dental work here. This one is from bug1981, she says, my dentist pulled my wisdom tooth and held it over me exclaiming, its a boy [ light laughter ] this one is from adrunkteacher. [ laughter ] steve wait, what . Jimmy he says whenever he put me under anesthesia, id hear him say as a joke, okay, i have no idea what im doing. [ light laughter ] thats a classic. Steve come on. Jimmy thats a classic. You got to like that one. Steve come on. Jimmy thats a good one. Steve props. Jimmy this one is onthejohn247. [ laughter ] steve on the john 24 7. Odd that he would tweet. You know, the john. Jimmy on the john 24 7. Steve 24 7, yeah. Class. Jimmy he says my dentist puts conversation notes into a a database to remember what we talked about last time. He likes to remind me that i was looking forward to a fun date once in 2009. Steve so how did the date go . Jimmy yeah, no. We never went on a date again. cause ive been on the john 24 7. And tough to meet people there. This ones from padfoot93. He says, the family dentist down the street from my house has a sign outside that says, we do our business in your mouth. [ light laughter ] steve oy. The number one dentist in the country. Jimmy better than the number two dentist. [ laughter ] steve gives new meaning new meaning to the word potty mouth. Got yellow teeth. Oy [ cheers and applause ] jimmy got yellow teeth. Here we go. This one here is from ashley meg. She says, when i asked about new reports saying flossing doesnt do anything. My dentist says, thats just cray cray. Hes in his 50s. Honestly, its cray cray not to floss. This ones from gregknight18. He says, the dentist had pulled out my wisdom teeth is named dr. Wank. [ laughter ] steve dr. Wank . Jimmy i went home with ice packs that said, i got yanked by dr. Wank. [ cheers and applause ] steve oh oh come on. Jimmy come on. Thats fantastic. Steve dr. Wank. That was your nickname in high school, wasnt it . Jimmy i got on his tshirt. Whats that . Steve that was your nickname in high school, wasnt it . Jimmy it was dr. Wank. [ laughter ] steve oh my god. This fitbit is high. [ laughter ] jimmy 120,000 steps. Steve wow. He hasnt even left his room. Jimmy he hasnt even left his room. Steve was he with dr. Wank . Jimmy yanked by dr. Wank. Steve yeah. Jimmy this last one is from mynameismaruda. She says, my dentist has a a banner hanging on the wall that says, i like big gums and i cannot lie. There you go. Those are tonight show hashtags. To check out more of our favorites go to tonight show. Com hashtags. Stick around. Ill be right back with emma watson, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [laughs] you have a side that is retired playing tag and gettin tired. You have a side that saves for their tuition. But right now it looks like bedtime is the mission. A side that owns your own store. Looks like you need to expand some more. Thats why theres nationwide. They help protect and grow your many sides. Nationwide is on your side. Thithe beet one. Ns. The reason you stop scrolling one. The whoops, you looked at your calendar wrong one. Reallife snacks. Baked with real ingredients. Its good thins. Good gets real. At lincoln, were all about making things simpler for you. Like, imagine having your vehicle serviced. From the comfort of your own home. Introducing complimentary lincoln pickup and delivery servicing. Because the most important luxury of all. Is time. Pickup and delivery servicing on the entire family of lincoln luxury vehicles including a complimentary lincoln loaner. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. We are joined right now by a a bigtime movie star who grew up on screen playing hermione in the harry potter series. [ cheers and applause ] she has since starred in other great films ranging from this years smash hit beauty and the beast to a new film costarring Patton Oswalt and tom hanks called the circle in theaters friday. Say hello to emma watson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back thank you. Jimmy you look gorgeous. Thank you. Jimmy thank you for coming back to our show. Is it all flushing back to you . The trauma, the posttraumatic stress of my life for four minutes on the jimmy fallon show. [ laughter ] jimmy last time you were on the show yeah. Jimmy this is late night. Oh, yeah. Jimmy we just had met. Wed never met each other. Wed never met before. Jimmy you couldnt be nicer and sweeter, and gosh, im a a fan of yours. You came out, and you sat just the way youre sitting. Just there. Jimmy it was very nice. In the seat. Jimmy and we were talking, and i gave you a compliment. And you said before you even before we even start the interview jimmy yeah. I just dove straight in there with, i love that halloween candy thing that you do. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] jimmy and i said there was just silence. [ laughter ] jimmy i said, the halloween candy thing . Is that right . And you go and you were like the candy corn thing . Jimmy yeah, and i thought it was. No. Jimmy you go, when you get kids, do you trick them . And i go, thats jimmy kimmel. [ laughter and applause ] that was the first time we met. And i died inside. Jimmy you died turned bright red. I died inside. [ laughter ] i was like jimmy i dont mind. I get that all the time. I get jimmy kimmel all the but then but you were so sweet, because you let me you were like you could tell that i was dying inside. And you were like, its okay, honey. If you want to go out and start again, we can do it again. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, so i had you leave and reenter. And then, when you came inside that, i said, so are you a big fan of late night tv . [ laughter ] i just loved that you did it. That was the we dont ever want to embarrass our guests. So please, thank you for coming back, and i appreciate that. [ laughter ] youre so sweet. But then i feel like the show had a great vibem because everyone was in hysterics. Jimmy yeah, we were all loose. And the energy was like jimmy yeah. I was so keen to do a good job after having you know. Jimmy yeah, we love you. I mean, come on. Awe. Jimmy i mean, whatever you do. [ cheers and applause ] you have had a giant year. Yes, i have. Its been crazy. Jimmy i mean, you were fantastic in beauty and the beast. We had josh gad on the show, but man, you were just perfect. You were beautiful in it, you sang great. It was shot beautifully. And i want to say, not that it matters to anybody, but i think it made, like, a billion dollars or something . Is that possible . Its crazy. I remember someone saying to me, wed be so happy if this made like, you know, 600 or 500 or something. Jimmy oh, my and its been, its like i cant even. Im just so grateful that people loved it. Jimmy that doesnt make any i mean, the numbers are crazy. I know. Its crazy, crazy. Jimmy how it just means that people love the film, which is just, which is just so awesome. Jimmy i know, but we can tell you put a lot of work into it. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i read somewhere i read where that you had to go to, like, a princess boot camp or Something Like . I did. I did princess boot camp for three months. [ light laughter ] jimmy that sounds like fun, though. It was fun i got to ride a horse. I got to learn to waltz. And then, i had singing lessons, and then rehearsals. So it was like yeah. Jimmy yeah. And it was cool. Jimmy and now its would you ever could you waltz now or ballroom now . I mean, i could, like, stumble my way through something reasonable. Jimmy okay. Yeah. Jimmy maybe next time, well do a ballroom dance. Okay, great. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. I know youre really excited about that. [ light laughter ] but now, lets talk about your new film now. Yeah. Jimmy this is you and Patton Oswalt and tom hahks in the circle. Yeah. Jimmy based on a a dave eggers book. Yeah. Jimmy oh, i love dave eggers. Yes. I love dave eggers, too. Jimmy hes fantastic. Isnt it the best book ever, a heartbreaking work of staggering genius. Jimmy staggering genius. Thats a funny title. Its so good. Jimmy its a great book. I love it. Jimmy did you get to meet dave at all or no . I did i was just with him just last night at the premiere. We just premiered last night at tribeca film festival. Yeah, and he came, which was which was huge. Jimmy yeah, he doesnt really come out of the house. He doesnt, like no. He doesnt. Jimmy he just writes. [ laughter ] no. He just does his writing thing. Jimmy a writer writes, man. Thats what he does. Yeah. Jimmy hes great at it. Yeah, mcsweeneys, too. Mmhmm. Jimmy yeah, hes a good guy. Well tell everyone what this film is about. Yeah, so the film is about a a young woman who joins kind of a big tech company. A la, you know, like, a a combination of google and facebook and twitter and every social media, big social media platform you can think of. And she is its kind of her journey wrestling with how incredibly powerful this company is and how powerful its becoming. And there are kind of, like, moral and ethical dilemmas that start to surround these issues of giving away personal data. Jimmy yeah, you call it, like, transparency or something . Yeah, she goes so they call it, she goes transparent. Jimmy yeah. And she decides to wear a a camera all times, that means that everyone in the world can see what shes doing. Jimmy at all times. 24 hours a day. Jimmy theres no privacy . No privacy. Jimmy and you realize how evil this company is. And man, oh, man, youre great in it, and hanks. I mean, you never see him as a a villai