Featuring dawn and the legendary roots crew. Questlove 672. Yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know it you know it you know this is it, baby. Welcome to the tonight show [ cheers and applause ] you feel it i feel it theres a buzz, theres a buzz in the building tonight. Steve oh jimmy you feel it. This crowd knows [ cheers and applause ] its a great show tonight. Welcome, welcome, everybody, welcome. Heres what everybodys talking about. It was another crazy day in washington. Can you believe whats going on . I dont even know what to say anymore. Yesterday donald trump fired the director of the fbi, james comey, the guy who has been in the news every day since the election. [ light laughter ] he fired him. Yeah. I guess comey heard about it right before a recruitment event he was going to speak at. [ laughter ] he was like, hey, while im recruiting, anyone want to be director . Just came up. Its a new i just got the email. What . Theyre also saying when he got the news, comey thought it was a prank and started laughing. [ laughter ] but to be fair, thats also how trump reacted when he won the election. He was like, okay. [ laughter and applause ] thats very good. Wheres Ashton Kutcher . I love the i love that guy. [ laughter ] all right, lets put this in perspective. People trump has fired, ahead of the fbi. People he hasnt fired, bret michaels, the winner of celebrity apprentice. I mean, he won. [ applause ] of course, it drew immediate reactions from other politicians. When she heard comey was fired, hillary called him and said, aw, did someone take away a a job that was rightfully yours . [ laughter ] awe, too bad. [ applause ] so sorry. Now comey was right in the middle of investigating trumps ties to russia when he was fired, and a lot of people think the president got rid of him to try to make the russia story go away. That might explain this new commercial i just saw. The Trump Organization is proud to announce its newest product, trump coverup. [ laughter ] its the best way to cover up things that you dont want anyone to see because they could damage your look and lead to your resignation. [ light laughter ] just look at this mans problem area. Now, look at him after some trump coverup. Wow, all gone. [ light laughter ] so when you need your problems to disappear, try trump coverup. No one has to know. Jimmy there you go. [ cheers and applause ] guys, i saw that Melania Trump will join donald on his first trip overseas as president. Melania said shes a little nervous for the trip because its always hard traveling with a baby, you know . [ laughter and applause ] i saw that this week mike, this is crazy. This is one of the craziest stories. This really got in my head. Mike pence and his wife, karen, introduced their family rabbit to the public. [ light laughter ] that part i dont mind. Steve yeah. Jimmy did you hear the name of the rabbit is marlin bundo . [ laughter ] do you get that at all . Do you get that . I dont you couldnt think of another how about, like, cinnabunny. Steve yeah. [ laughter ] or bunny madoff. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy thats pretty good. Not bad. Steve marlon bundo. Jimmy chance the rabbit. Steve there you go. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy hair hairy styles. Steve oh. [ laughter ] jimmy any look, if you have a good rabbit name, tweet the Vice President vp and use the rabbit. He reads them all, and lets come up with a better name for this bunny. [ cheers and applause ] marlon bundo . Steve bunny and cher. Jimmy got some tv news here. I heard that abc wants Kelly Clarkson to be the judge on the Upcoming Season of American Idol. [ audience oohs ] [ scattered applause ] because what American Idol winner doesnt dream of ending up back on American Idol . [ laughter and applause ] what . Steve hey jimmy guys, i just saw that nevada just voted to start selling Recreational Marijuana this summer. [ cheers ] of course, after weed is legal in las vegas, things are going to be pretty different. [ laughter ] ill show you what i mean. For example, before weed was legal, the slogan was, what happens in vegas stays in vegas. After they legalized, the slogan will be, wait, what happens in vegas . [ laughter and applause ] steve there we go. Jimmy what . Heres another one. Before weed, it said, you had a great time at cirque du soleil. After weed, you had a panic attack at cirque du soleil. [ laughter and applause ] stop everything right now. Just stop it. Before weed, you wanted to get these chips. After weed, you want to get these chips. Steve yeah. [ applause ] jimmy and finally, before legal weed, you had penn and teller. And after, youll have ben and jerry. There you go. [ applause ] some things are gonna change a a lot. Steve ugh. Jimmy guys, i read about a a coffee shop in toronto that doesnt have any wifi to encourage customers to talk to each other. Yeah. [ scattered applause ] although all the customers talk about now is how they should really get wifi in this coffee [ light laughter ] [ applause ] are you getting a signal . I aint getting any. Oh, this is pretty cool. An 88yearold man from georgia just graduated from college. [ audience aws ] yeah. [ cheers and applause ] he called it the best four years of his life, while his roommate said, college was a a little weird for me. [ laughter and applause ] my roommate was 88 years old. Finally, heres a local story. Police are looking for a man who stole 5,000 worth of wigs from a home in brooklyn. They describe the man as blond or brunette or redheaded. [ laughter ] it could be anything at this point. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots right there, you guys [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, i love it. Its a hot crowd tonight because they know whats up [ cheers and applause ] tonights show, shes the coolest, most hardworking, funniest person. [ cheers ] tina fey is here tonight [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. Tina fey is on the show. Were going to talk about her tv shows, great news, which is a big hit on nbc. We have Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which i think is, like, a 100 rating on netflix or whatever it is. Its hilarious. Theyre both great, and she has a new Broadway Musical about mean girls. Steve come on jimmy mean girls, the musical. [ cheers and applause ] too much to talk about with her. And also, we have some fun surprises planned as well. Steve ooh. [ cheers ] surprise. Jimmy something different, its going to be good. Plus from the new hbo movie the wizard of lies. Steve ooh. Jimmy this is the Bernie Madoff story. Steve its the bunny madoff story . Jimmy alles [ laughter ] bernie, no. Steve im sorry. I didnt hear you. Jimmy no. Alessandro nivola is joining us, you guys. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its good, really good. Oh, and we have great music from our pals dirty projectors steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy featuring dawn is here tonight. Guys, its may. Summers right around the corner. Its time to start loading up on some good books for the beach. Steve ooh. Jimmy which means you got to toss out all those bad books you got lying around your house. So to help you out, im about to show you some books that you should avoid at all costs. Its time for my latest installment of my donotread list. Here we go, do not read. [ cheers and applause ] do not read do not read do not read these books these books jimmy now, before we start, i just want you to know that every book im about to show you is 100 real. These are actual books. You can find them on amazon or check them out at your local library. They are real. Lets see whats on my donotread list. This first one here is a a cookbook. Steve oh, great. Jimmy i love cookbooks. Steve love them. Jimmy this ones called for men only. Steve good. [ light laughter ] yes. Jimmy mastering the microwave. [ laughter ] are we that dumb . Are we that are we that steve yeah. Jimmy are we that dumb that we need cookbooks for a a microwave . [ light laughter ] really . These people think men are so dumb . Lets just see. Lets go to a section for seafood here, called meat from the deep. No one calls it meat from the deep. Steve oh. [ laughter ] jimmy maybe we steve that doesnt sound like a cookbook. [ laughter ] jimmy well ill tell you the special the special tonight as far as meat from the deep. We have baconwrapped scallops. Ive never heard of meat from the deep ever. Steve last time i did i got crabs. [ laughter and applause ] come on bunny madoff. Jimmy i didnt give it up. I dont know, man. Now im starting to like marlon bundo. I kind of enjoy it. [ light laughter ] i get it now. I get it. You dont get it . Steve no. Jimmy oh, never mind, man. Steve not so good. Jimmy its over your head. You dont get it, man. I get it, marlon bundo. Steve oh, so its super great now . Jimmy yeah. All right. We got another one here. This is a history book. Steve love history. Jimmy yep, me too. This ones called the history of and social influence of the potato. Steve oh, my. [ laughter ] jimmy its 685 pages. Its like if the bible was only about potatoes. Thats just rude, and theres no pictures. Steve oh, my god. [ laughter ] jimmy i mean, come on. Yeah. Steve sevenpoint font . Jimmy i know. I love potatoes. I microwave them all the time because i dont call them [ laughter ] steve what do you call what do you call them . Jimmy apples from the dirt. [ laughter and applause ] dirt apples. Steve yeah. Jimmy dirt apples. Steve yeah, call them that. Jimmy here we go. Guys, this next up one is short story collection. Steve oh, my gosh. I love short stories. Jimmy yeah, these are ten tales to make your head explode. [ laughter ] by craig run or something. Lets take a lets read the back. See what it says here. It says think. Think as hard as you can. Think so hard, you can feel the veins swelling in your neck. [ light laughter ] steve mm. Jimmy think so hard, your cheeks turn red. Think so hard, your head starts to tremble. Think so hard, your temples begin to burn. Think so hard, you feel lightheaded. This is real. Think so hard, you can no longer hear anything around you. Now think like this until your head explodes. [ light laughter ] i actually might read this one. Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] dont read it dont read it no [ explosion ] [ applause ] jimmy were down to our last book. This ones a craft book. Steve oh jimmy this is called pop toppings poptop terp with kenneth patton. These are pretty cool. These are outfits you can make with those tabs used to pop open a can of soda. Its pretty cool, man. Lets see what you can make here. Steve mmm. Jimmy here it is. That dude is making something. Steve all right. [ light laughter ] jimmy look at that. Its like a winged, winged outfit. Steve wow, its gorgeous. Jimmy it is. It is, dude. Steve yeah [ laughter ] jimmy i like that. Steve yeah. Jimmy i like this guys style. Steve its like billy crudup. Jimmy let me try something on there. Oh, i like this. Steve oh. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] steve smile. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats all i have for this edition of my donotread list. [ cheers and applause ] if you have a book that you think should be on our next donotread list, i want to see it. Send your titles to our blog at donotread tonightshow. Com. Well be right back with the ragtime gals, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] machines dont have emotions. But the rare few can inspire them. With a naturally aspirated 5liter v8 engine, and a 10speed directshift transmission. The firstever lexus lc. Experience amazing. Its kinda hard to describe. Its like a. I dont know. Im just going to say it, alright you are completely and utterly. My friend. Music piano cover of guns n roses sweet child o mine welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx thats like lebron trying to pperform with old equipment. . Foul blows whistle upgrade your game to intels fastest processor. Bite into magnum double cookies and cream. And unleash your wild side. Made with cookies cream ice cream and rich belgian chocolate. Discover magnum. [ cheers and applause ] steve ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, combining the harmony of barber shop quartet, with the music of bruno mars, please welcome the ragtime gals. [ cheers and applause ] hey hey hey hey thats what i like i got a condo in manhattan baby girl whats happenen you and your ass invited so go on and get to clapping go pop it for a pimp pop pop it for me turn around and drop it for a pimp drop drop it for me ill rent a beach house in miami wake up with no jammies lobster tail for dinner julio serve that scampi you got it if you want it got got it if you want it said you got it if you want it take my wallet if you want it take my wallet if you want it [ cheers and applause ] watch me give it to you cool jewel be shining so bright strawberry champagne on ice lucky for you thats what i like thats what i like lucky for you thats what i like thats what i like sex by the fire at night silk sheets and diamonds all white lucky for you thats what i like thats what i like lucky for you thats what i like thats what i like little darling sex by the fire is just the kind of thing the kind of thing that i like youre so lucky thats just what i like [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well be right back with more tina fey, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] the best tour of italy is the one you create at olive garden. Create your own tour of italy starting at 12. 99. Choose 3 of 9 of your favorites. Delicious new grilled chicken parmigiana. Always a favorite lasagna classico. And all the garden fresh salad and breadsticks you want. Have everything you love all on one plate. May you always get just what you want. Create your own tour of italy for a limited time only at olive garden. We, the device loving people want more than just unlimited data. We want unlimited entertainment. So we can stream unlimited action. Watch unlimited robots. Watch unlimited romance. If you are into that. But we also want more like. Unlimited hbo. Can i stop dying now mark . No cant do mi amigo. Its unlimited. Besides you are really good at it james. Dont settle for any unlimited data plan. Only the at t unlimited plus plan comes with hbo included at no extra charge. How was your vacation . Hey, guys, whats this tomato doing at randys desk . [all coworkers laugh] hahahahaha. You know, that actually reminds me, steve. I got you something. Aloha mangoes can get sunburned. Put some flavor in your break with new snapple mango tea make time for snapple. Abreak through your allergies. . Try new Flonase Sensimist allergy relief instead of allergy pills. Its more complete allergy relief in a gentle mist experience youll barely feel. Using unique mistpro technology, new Flonase Sensimist delivers a gentle mist to help block six key inflammatory substances that cause your symptoms. Most allergy pills only block one. And six is greater than one. New Flonase Sensimist changes everything. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. We are joined right now by a a bestselling author, a a multiple emmy and golden globe awardwinning writer and performer, and the producer of two very funny shows, great news, which airs tuesdays at 9 00 p. M. On nbc, and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which begins its third season next friday on netflix. Please welcome back to the show, tina fey [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tina thank you for doing ragtime gals. Im honored. Jimmy with us on the show. It was so fun, man. I get super nervous whenever i have to sing anything. I get, like, immediately, like, i think i have a sore throat. Jimmy do you have like a a musical theater background . I was a musical theater nerd in high school and stuff. But i always was like the general of the salvation army. [ laughter ] i played frenchie in grease. Who didnt really sing. Yeah, yeah, frenchie. Jimmy frenchie doesnt have a song, no. No song, too. So that was always nice. Jimmy thats the best. But i want to talk about mean girls, the musical. Its coming to broadway. Its moving along [ cheers and applause ] jimmy dude. What are you talking about . How exciting is this . Im so excited. I mean, ill probably come back here like five more times before we actually come to broadway. Jimmy good, good, good, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is a real thing now. And were going to we go do our out of town in washington, d. C. , at the national theater. Jimmy then that means its kind of like a rehearsal . Right. So then, well actually do, when its a new show, you practice it here, and then you go out of town and to either chicago or l. A. So, were going to d. C. Were at the national theater. You can buy tickets now. Previews start on halloween. Jimmy are you excited or what . I mean, the process, how would you even so fun because well, you can sing, but like, ive been in stuff thats like movie musicals or whatever a little bit. And its like, the secret with movie musicals is you can secretly suck and like be a a star. [ laughter ] but you do things on stage. Like these kids are so talented. We have the cast. Now were rehearsing for like a a month. And theres like a bunch of baby timberlakes. Like everybody can do everything. [ laughter ] jimmy baby timberlakes, yeah. They give you like a little packet and water. Jimmy little timberlake. Make a little timberlake. Jimmy little timberlake, yeah. Absolutely. And they just like sing so loud and they dance so hard. Like they learn things like my brain is broken. Choreographer tells them like, okay, in this part its like [ beatboxing ] and theyre like, got it. You got it . You know it . Jimmy i have to rehearse that for two weeks. Yeah, exactly. Gong chakong. Jimmy gong chakong . And then chekong . Okay good. Almost got it. Got it. Jimmy because i was going gong chekong gong . It was super fun. And then my husband Jeff Richmond was writing all the music. And Neil Benjamin is writing the lyrics. Jimmy im so happy. Thats so fun. I cant even well, we all cant wait for it. So its in d. C. Now. Yep. The theater is going to be like three blocks from the white house. You could make a little trip of it. If you like work there and you get fired, come down. [ laughter ] jimmy great. 20 off if you got fired that day. Jimmy its already sold out. Its already sold out, sorry. [ applause ] it just got sold out. Oh, sold out the day i got fired. Jimmy it sold out show. How is the family, hows the kids. Oh, theyre good. Jimmy alice and penelope. Thank you for asking. Theyre getting so big. Jimmy i love them. Time flies. Alice, my older one is 11. And i really cant say more than that because recently she said to me, hey, i was at my frie