Transcripts For WKYC Late Night With Seth Meyers 20161101 :

WKYC Late Night With Seth Meyers November 1, 2016

[ laughter and applause ] weve bombed mexico again . Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be quiet. Im watching the topless super bowl halftime show. [ laughter ] donald trump told supporters last night that Hillary Clinton wants to bring 650 Million Immigrants into the United States within one week of taking office. Whereas if he wins, canada gets 150 Million Immigrants. [ cheers and applause ] nasas Early Warning asteroid Intruder Alert system spotted an asteroid as it passed by earth last night, and i think i speak for all of us when i say, come back, asteroid [ laughter and applause ] a trump supporter was arrested in iowa last week for inperson voter fraud after she attempted to vote twice. She said the first vote was to make America Great. And the second one was to make America Great again. According to a new study using marijuana may improve night vision. Said one user, oh, right. [ laughter ] because of the lighter. [ laughter ] a ukrainian man legally changed his name to iphone seven after an Electronics Store offered the phone free to the first five people to do so. And now his girlfriend is thinking about upgrading to a new model. [ laughter ] a new report has found that 61 of americans feel that the government should make it easier for people to vote. Specifically by picking candidates easier to vote for. [ light laughter ] come back, asteroid [ cheers and applause ] a new study shows a compound signs of aging. Said one toddler, then i guess this is goodbye. [ light laughter ] and finally, ikea has launched a new ad campaign using the slogan no matter who you are, what you do, or how much you make, you can still make the dream yours. Which is better than their old slogan, theres horse in the meatballs. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] there was horse in the meatballs. Thats not a thing im just saying. He is one of our favorite guests here at late night. Hes the star of the new Broadway Revival the front page, the always fantastic nathan lane back on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] shes on a great new show on amazon called good girls revolt. Genevieve angelson is here tonight to talk about that. [ cheers and applause ] and they are discerning Television Critics who definitively ranked the best tv book tv the book. Matt zoller seitz and Alan Sepinwall will be here. And i look forward to arguing with them about their pick for the top shows of all time. Now, before we get to all that, again, we have a great show for you tonight, the president ial campaign was upended yet again on friday by another last minute twist, the revelation that the fbi has discovered more emails that might be relevant to the investigation of Hillary Clintons private server. For more on this, it is time for a c . . [ cheers and applause ] seth by the end of last week, Hillary Clinton was coasting. She was up double digits in some polls and it showed in her mood with cnn reporting on thursday Hillary Clinton finally lets loose. In fact she was so loose, she was even talking about organizing a National Dance party. I keep telling people i want to close the deficit and one of the deficits i want to close is the fun deficit. There you go. Got to close the fun deficit. Why dont these who support my opponent go out and have fun dancing . Do you think they dance . Absolutely. I think we need a big National Dance. Im with you. Seth hillary is the last person id want organizing a dance party. [ light laughter ] there is literally only one person on earth with less rhythm than her. Bing, bing, bong, bong, bing, bing, bing. [ laughter ] seth but this threat [ cheers and applause ] this very, very serious threat party led by Hillary Clinton caught the attention of the fbi, who realized they had to do something to dampen her spirits. Breaking news tonight, Hillary Clintons campaign hit with an october surprise by the fbi. Only 11 days before the election, the bureau alerting congress that its reviewing newly found emails related to clintons personal server. An october surprise. This is certainly the ultimate october surprise. There may be an october surprise. There may be a november surprise. I think we may have surprises all the way through election day. Seth all the way through election day . This election is going to have surprises for the next year. And a january surprise, President Trump has taken all of americas gold and fled to china. [ light laughter ] all he left in its place, a short note. [ laughter and applause ] so, trump donald trump still hasnt released his tax returns, sexual assault, and hes going on trial for fraud for Trump University in november. But now, the only thing the media is talking about is emails. Its like if during the o. J. Trial everyone was focused on whether or not the ford bronco had up to date registration. [ laughter ] and for the clinton campaign, almost as frustrating as the reemergence of the email issue was the way it reemerged a vague, threeparagraph letter from the fbi director that read like a survivor clue to finding the hidden immunity idol. To lawmakers which raises many questions, or more, than it actually answered. Hes put this letter out there that is unquestionably vague. Theres very few facts inside that letter. Everybody trying to figure out what exactly these words by the fbi director mean. What he did on friday was kind of unleash a bunch of vague speculation. You saw some republicans as well say this letter seems vague, we want to know more. Other democrats accuse comey of dropping an ambiguity bomb just days before thele seth thats right. An ambiguity bomb. Basically, this letter was so vague, it was like the entire country got a voicemail from the fbi director just saying, we need to talk. [ laughter ] this is not the time for vagaries. We need details. We need cold, hard facts. Can you at least tell us where the new emails came from the first place . Sources say the emails were uncovered in the sexting investigation of former congressman Anthony Weiner. Seth oh [ bleep ] me. [ laughter ] go back to being vague. [ cheers and applause ] seriously. With everything with Everything Else hanging over this election, now we have the shadow of Anthony Weiners photographic genitalia . I mean, what point do we oh, get out of here [ laughter and applause ] all right, seriously, what happened . Law enforcement Officials Say the emails were found on a former congressman Anthony Weiner. Former congressman Anthony Weiner, the estranged husband of clinton aide huma abedin. Anthony weiner is the ghost of christmas past, present, and future. He just wont go away. Seth and if he ever does show up with a Christmas Goose claiming hes changed his ways, just know he probably had sex with that goose. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] as for moving on, come on. [ light laughter ] as for how democrats feel about weiner at this point, just look at how exasperated Vice President joe biden was when he found out weiner was the source of the new emails. I dont know where this email where these emails came from apparently Anthony Weiner. Well oh, god. [ laughter ] Anthony Weiner um. I should not comment on Anthony Weiner. Seth way to go joe biden. [ laughter ] now this latest news has revealed the hypocrisy on display in both parties. Lets start with democrats, who for months praised fbi director james comeys integrity for deciding not to prosecute hillary, but now that comey has dropped the latest bombshell, liberals are singing a very different tune. I think basically what we have here is unfair to Hillary Clinton. Theres absolutely no did. Zero. People are outraged. And theyre not outraged with Hillary Clinton. Theyre outraged with director comey for coming forward with absolutely nothing. This is the question about what kind of country do we live in. James comey has now joined other republicans in being what you might call banana republicans. Theyre acting like theyre in a banana republic. Seth pundits, you got to stop using the phrase banana republic. Itsn it means clothing store. [ light laughter ] you might as well say, people would never get away with this behavior in the old navy. [ laughter ] and then theres trump. Donald trump, whos been calling the fbi and Justice Department rigged for months. Take a look at this, this tweet from donald trump crooked hillary colluded with fbi and doj and media is covering up to protect her. Its a rigged system. Corrupted the director of the fbi. I think the biggest rigging of all is whats happened with the fbi. The fbi rolled over. Seth but the nice thing about rolling is you come back around, as trump himself demonstrated with his sudden change of heart on the fbi after the email news broke. I have Great Respect for the fbi for righting this wrong. The system is rigged. It might not be as rigged as i thought. [ laughter ] et current election three and a half rigs. [ laughter and applause ] but the trump team the trump team didnt dwell on their change of heart and instead spent the weekend celebrating it as nothing less than one of the best days of their campaign. And trump took it even further, comparing it to perhaps the greatest scandal in modern politics. This is bigger than watergate. This is bigger than watergate. In my opinion. Seth bigger than watergate . I would be shocked if trump even watergate was so bad. First, you had the water, then you had the gate and as you remember, the water went right through the gate because [ laughter ] a gate cant stop water. It ruined [ applause ] it ruined the carpeting of the entire hotel. They should have built a wall, in my opinion. If im being totally honest. They should have built a wall. You got to build a wall. [ laughter ] in fact not only is this not watergate, reports so far are unclear, with some suggesting that many of them might be duplicates and that the fbi doesnt see this as a game changer. And comey himself seemed concerned about the reaction writing to employees, quote, in the middle of election season there is significant risk of being misunderstood. But as far as being misunderstood, dont worry, because our media always behaves calmly and rationally when it comes to potential clinton scandals. They would never baselessly speculate. For him to say hes got something pertinent, regarding the case, you just figure it what if this is something that truly is a bombshell . If she gets elected on november 8th, this isnt going away. So what needs to happen . Special prosecutor . You know theres something in there. Has to be. Well theres nothing tastier than the unknown. Seth of course theres nothing tastier than the unknown is also the slogan for taco bell. [ laughter ] and now Trump Supporters are taking the hysteria even further with many of them claiming that these latest email revelations might be grounds for impeaching hillary if w even if she wins, shes on the road to impeachment. Youre going to elect somebody with a high possibility of being impeached and convicted. Lets just say for the sake of the argument, she wins the election. This isnt going to stop. There will be a move to impeach her the moment her hand comes down from that bible. Seth why does cnn still let jeffrey lord on tv . He looks like if someone microwaved Christopher Walken [ laughter ] and only let him read the and also maybe dont take the high road on hillarys legal trouble when your candidate has a fraud trial as we mentioned starting in november. So now weve got once again republicans foaming at the mouth for another four years of paralyzing political dysfunction. In fact, even before this latest round of email news, republicans basically announced that they were that were about to enter an era of permanent investigation, with the Washington Post reporting last week that House Republicans are already preparing for years of investigations of clinton. Basically this is going to hillarys permanent face for four years. If she ever gets put on money, that will be the face they use. [ laughter ] and this kind of permanent investigation, where you subject your political opponent to constant hounding and neverending legal proceedings, is paralyzing our political system. Its enough to make you want to tune out politics altogether, or as hillary herself recently put it it makes you want to unplug the internet or just look at cat gifs. In the last few weeks i watched [ laughter ] seth oh, i love cat stuff like that. Can you email it to me . Oh, you know what, never mind, never mind. This has been a closer look. . . [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with our friend nathan lane, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] . Where do you think youre going . . . Where do you think youre goinggoing, girl . . . Girl, where do you think youre going . . Hanes wants to end the smellfie. This thing weve all done doesnt need to be a thing. Theres a smart way to stay fresh. Hanes with freshiq advanced odorprotection technology. But grandma, we use charmin ultra soft so we dont have to wad to get clean. Charmin ultra soft gets you clean without the wasteful wadding. It has comfort cushions you can see that are softer. And more absorbent, and you can use up to 4 times less. Enjoy the go with charmin. stranger good mornin . store p. A. attention shoppers, theres a lost couple in the mens department. vo theres a great big unkhaki world out there. Explore it in a subaru crosstrek. Love. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers ] also, sitting in on drums with the 8g band this week, shes the former drummer for the one and only prince, and the first single from her new group counterculture, womens intuition, is out now. Hannah welton is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show, hannah. Were so, so happy to have you. Our first guest is a Tony Awardwinning actor whos currently starring the criticallyacclaimed Broadway Revival of the front page. His childrens book, naughty mabel sees it all, is available in bookstores now. Please welcome back to the show our friend nathan lane. [ cheers and applause ] . . Seth welcome back. How are you . You did that like vincent price. Seth i did. [ laughter ] just for halloween. Seth i realized id left the album out on the table, and i didnt want you to think no, im a big fan. Seth okay, good. Happy halloween. Seth happy halloween to you. Yes, yes. Seth thank you for making time for us on halloween. Oh, you know seth do you enjoy halloween here in new york . Well, every day in new york is halloween, really. [ laughter ] when you think about it, especially if you live downtown. I live downtown, where you cant really tell if someones wearing a costume or their own clothes. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] its like, hey, no, wait, its just a barista. [ laughter ] halloween is my favorite holiday right after arbor day and kim jonguns birthday. [ laughter ] seth i remember that about you. Yeah, its the most terrifying day of the year. Seth yeah. Unless we elect donald trump november 8th. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] but i actually saw a knockoff donald trump costume just today. Seth oh, you did . Yes. Get sued. Seth sure. So, it was just called deranged creamsicle. Seth okay. [ laughter ] and the hillary costume was called hey, better than that guy. Seth oh, i see, yeah. [ laughter ] but halloween is fun. You get to dress up. You eat candy corn until you cant feel your teeth, and then and then, you go bobbing for xanax. Seth okay, well, there [ laughter ] a perfect way to end a i had an awkward time last year. Last year, last halloween. Seth what happened last halloween . Well, a guy showed up on my doorstep sorry. A guy showed up on my doorstep, and i said, are you trickortreating . He said, no, im just really required to tell you that im moving into the neighborhood. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] seth oh, now that now, that thats scary. Seth thats scary. [ laughter ] thats scary, ladies and gentlemen. Seth congratulations on your show, the front page. Thank you. Seth this is a revival. This is a fun show. Classic american comedy, like hecht and macarthur. Seth fantastic cast, john slattery, john goodman. Brilliant allstar cast, led by john slattery, great guy. Seth and an interesting critics yeah. Seth he did this sort of old school. And explain the difference how critics used to review shows and how they do now. Scott, you know, very brave to take on a show like this, a huge company of 27 actors. And an even braver move, he asked all the critics to review it the way they used to in the old days like when the play debuted, where they would all come on the opening night, and then run up the aisle and write their reviews and get it in for the morning edition. Whereas, you know, these days, at least since the 80s, theyve been they go to the last four or five previews, and then hav some time to think about it and submit their reviews. So, he thought it would be a fun idea. He has an interesting sense of humor, and fortunately, the critics responded positively, and they all came, which was shocking to me. Seth yeah. But, you know, opening nights are strange anyway because its filled with friends and relatives and investors of the show and the odd celebrity. Seth yeah, thats interesting. The party afterwards is a lot less fun than you would think on an opening night. Well, you know you know, be sensational, but everyone is sort of too much invested. Seth sure. If its a comedy, they laugh either too much out of nervousness or not at al

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