Including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Ask about humira, the 1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists. We are going to see the 60s coming up here not during the day. Overnight here okay. Wait a minute. Its not going to get that cold during the day. We had we still have three days of 90s. And monday, we are going to drop the highs into the mid80s. Anything but this will be relief we have not felt in a stephen good evening. Before we begin the show tonight, i need to address a controversy. Last nights Republican NationalConvention Keynote speaker Melania Trump has been accused of plagiarizing portions of her speech from Michelle Obamas appearance at the 2008 democratic convention. Now, personally, i don t all. I think her speechwriters are to blame, and yet no one has lost their jobs. If only there was someone in the Trump Campaign who enjoyed firing people. laughter applause now, i dont talk about this a i dont talk about this a lot, but donald and melania and i are friends. Exclusive appearance by mrs. Trump to address the controversy. So, please welcome Melania Trump. cheers and applause i understand you have a statement. Yes, that is true. Stephen and this statement was written by the same staffers who wrote last nights speech . Yes, i wrote it. Stephen well, maam, the floor is yours. My fellow americans this is truly the best of times, it is the worst of times. cheers and applause i did not plagiarize my speech last night. I would never do such a thing. Goat. laughter applause i could not, would not on a boat. laughter applause that is because i learned honesty during my humble upbringing in west philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground is where i spent most of my days. So to those who say i stole my speech, i say, give me a break. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that kit kat bar. cheers and applause they may be able to take our lives, but they will never take our. Freedom cheers and applause im as mad as hell and im not going to take it anymore. Youve got to fight for your right to party. Boom goes the dynamite. Hakuna matata. Ba da ba da da im loving it. laughter applause applause oh, and one more thing live from new york, its saturday stephen no show with Stephen Colbert tonight, stephen welcomes keeganmichael key, kathryn hahn, and n. A. F. , featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its time for the 2016 trumpublican donational conventrump, starring donald republican. Captioning sponsored by cbs . We are the champions my friend . Well keep on fighting till the end . . We are the champions . We are the champions . . No time for losers . Because we are the champions . . Of the world . audience chanting Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause thank you so much thank you please welcome to the late show, everybody, live from the ed sullivan theater here in new york city. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Also live right now. I want to thank melania for stopping by to set the record straight. And broadway star laura benanti, for some reason. applause lets get straight to the big news tonight folks, the republican delegates officially elected their nominee. Spoiler alert for anybody who doesnt want to know how the now, as is tradition, each state voted, and we learned the kinds of things that normally you can only get by opening 50 bottles of snapple. American samoa, the greatest exporter of n. F. L. Players. Arkansas, birthplace of johnny cash and al green. Kentucky, the home of Churchill Downs and american pharaoh, the source of bluegrass the great state of maryland, home to the oldest state capital in continuous use. Missouri, the birthplace of talk radio. Nebraska, the number one beef producing state in the union. The great state of connecticut i come from the land where we manufacture pez. laughter applause stephen i dont know, thats what he claims, but im pretty sure pez comes from darth and the moment trump secured the nomination to send him over the top, the celebration kicked off in style with a giant gold screen that declared over the top which was either declaring victory, or indicating the direction trump combs his hair. And then faced with this new reality, the certainty that trump was the nominee, Speaker Paul Ryan stepped up to the mic and eloquently expressed the feelings of so many americans. Stephen it cheers and applause having secured the nomination, trump then briefly addressed america from the lobby of his bathroom. Were going to restore law and order, we have to restore, and quickly, law and order, among many, and just so many stephen yes, were going to restore law and order and many, so many other things law and order criminal intent, and law and order special victims unit. Theyre all good shows. We miss you, Mariska Hargitay and trump knew just how monumental the night was. Together weve achieved historic results, with the largest vote turtle in the or stephen no, your ears dont deceive you, he did say vote turtle . Not a flub. That was not a flub. He was just introducing the next speaker senator mitch mcconnell. applause hes the largest vote turtle hes the largest vote turtle in America Mcconnell spoke from the theme of make america work again. Theme tonight donald trump, jr. And Tiffany Trump both provided examples of how hard working americans just need to roll up their sleeves and be born into a billionaires family. Its that simple. Okay . Pull yourself up by your dads boot straps, and theyre nice boot straps. Theyre the best. Diamondencrusted, fourstar boot straps. applause and new Jersey Governor Chris Christie laughter christie opened with some very nice words about the nominee. We are proud to be led by not only a strong leader but by a caring, genuine and decent person. Stephen yes, certainly not the kind of guy who promises you vp slot and then leaves you hanging from wednesday night until friday morning a decent man wouldnt do that then Chris Christie really fired Hillary Clinton is the awful judge and character of a dictator butcher in the middle east, is she guilty or not guilty . Audience guilty guilty Hillary Clinton as an inept negotiate of the worst american arms deal in American History is she guilty or not guilty . Audience guilty guilty guilty stephen Chris Christie before a mindless screaming mob with no presentation for the defense, spooky or not spooky . Audience spooky stephen yall are spooky. Now, folks, say hi to jon batiste and stay human cheers and applause band playing big night. Jon big night. Stephen its a big night. Its a big night. It is now official. There it is. Trump is the nominee. You cannot uncarve that pumpkin. You cannot uncandy that yam. What i dont understand is, yeah, we knew this was going to happen, but there was supposed to be a floor fight. There was supposed to be chaos, bikers chainwhipping the rules committee. Ted cruz trying to cut out broken bottle. We were promised excitement but none of that happened. They voted. He got it. Thats it. Let me illustrate to you how no, no, there is still excitement out there. Let me illustrate to you how boring this was. Weve got a social media team on the ground in cleveland all this week, and yesterday for two hours on facebook live, they streamed footage of the condiment station at the your ketchup, mustard, relish, stuff like that. Half a Million People watched delegates putting ketchup on their hot dogs. Proving what we already knew, the Republican Party is a bit of a sausage fest. applause . . Then this is true then this is true an hour and 50 minutes in, our condiment cam caught fox news anchor bret baer friend of the show its absolutely true laughter jimmy, play that again. There he is pumping two pumps of mustard into his bottle. And he kind of looks around before he leaves laughter why is bret baer hoarding mustard . What does he know that we dont know . I cant judge the man. We report, you decide. Biggest condiment scandal to come out of fox news since roger ailes was caught spanking the bottom of a ketchup bottle. Well be right back with Keegan Michael key. cheers and applause band playing i am sebastian artois. Brewmaster. Risktaker. You might have heard its name. Stella artois be legacy . And a screen you can touch. And even write on. When you see a computer that can do all that, it might just make you wonder. Hey, what else can it do . . Constipated . 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In fact, even though the convention is in cleveland, according to the latest polls, donald trump has 0 support from black voters in ohio. cheers and applause 0 goose egg 0 thats the same Rotten Tomatoes score as leprechaun 4 in space, which is unfair because i happen to know that leprechaun has never declared bankruptcy. But there is at least one africanamerican person attending the convention. We got a hold of him. Please welcome, live via satellite from the quicken loans arena, frank walters. cheers and applause thanks for being here, frank good to see you cheers and applause wow stephen. Look at this festive atmosphere whoowee stephen you do seem happy, frank. You do seem happy. Now, frank, youre an african american. So they tell me stephen and are you having a fun time this week, frank . Its been amazing. Chris christie burned a witch earlier. Ben carson was just juggling brains. I didnt know it was going to be this entertaining Gee Willikers with all the street lingo there, frank. Its a family show. Oh, heck, im sorry stephen how does it feel being one of the few African Americans there . You know, its incredible, stephen. From the moment i got here, everyone is so nice. They gave me a hat, they gave me a shirt, theyre always putting me on camera for some reason ive never been so popular in my life laughter stephen wow, thats really nice. Yeah people keep coming up to me and they keep on saying, youre one of the good ones. Youre articulate, youre bright, i mean the compliments keep on rolling in, stephen. They even invited me to all these different parties. They keep saying, we need you there its amazing stephen well, you do look like youre having a good time. What drew you to the convention . Was it more social conservatism . Oh, i just came by here looking for pok . Mon. Thats all i was doing. cheers and applause hey, i think i see one what, officer . No, its just my phone. Put my hands behind my head . What . Stephen frank, is everything okay . Hold on, stephen. Im confused. Floor and shut up . Im just trying to clarify. All right, see you later. All right. Stephen have a great time, frank. Frank walters, everybody well be right back with Keegan Michael key. cheers and applause can a toothpaste do everything well . This clean was like pow. It felt like i had just gone to the dentist. My teeth are glowing. They are so white. Crest [hd]. 6x cleaning, 6x whitening. And at two weeks superior sensitivity relief to the leading sensitivity toothpaste. I actually really like the two steps crest [hd]. Step 1 cleans, step 2 whitens. Its the whole package. No ones done this. Crest healthy, beautiful smiles for life. . . fact. People spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm combines the number one pain reliever with the number one sleep aid. Gentle, nonhabit forming advil pm. For a healing nights sleep. Why be in the kitchen when you can be in the moment . Olive garden now offers catering delivery. We make the food and deliver it to your door. Z22p7z zy6z y22p7y yy6y cheers and applause stephen thanks, everybody folks, my first guest tonight cocreated and costarred in one of the greatest sketch series of all time, key and peele. He now plays a young improv comedian in the movie dont were auditioning on thursday for weekend live. Congrats, man. Thanks, man. You know which bits youre gonna do . We just heard, like, ten minutes ago. You got to do Alex Rodrigues in the cell phone star. I forgot all about that one. You got to do rock when the rock loses all the way. Slim fast rock. The pebble. Cooking . Not much, and thats why i lost the weight. Stephen please welcome keeganmichael key cheers and applause . Im a soul man . . Im a soul man . cheers and applause . Im a soul man . Stephen hey nice to have you on, man. Feed. Had a good time at the convention. Seemed like the audience was really concerned for him at the end there. Stephen well, you know, things being what they are. Things being what they are. Stephen im going to talk about the movie in just a second because im interested in improv and you and i are both out of chicago. Second city of improv. cheers and applause stephen and before we do that do you actually follow politics or are you following the conventions . Im trying to watch as much because i was promised excitement. Stephen exactly, blood sport. Yes. Stephen what do you think of trump as an improviser . People get disappointed when hes on script and they love it when he flies off the cuff. I think the thing is hes a very good stream of consciousness improviser. He doesnt follow all the improv rules, but the other day he was in a place where he was speaking somewhere else in ohio and said were going to do this, were mosquito . You guys see this mosquito . Look at the mosquito. The mosquitos going high. Get out of here, mosquito. Ive had enough of you, mosquito, wheres the money . Stephen did he say wheres the money . Wheres the mosquitos money . Is he going to support the campaign . But what was interesting was he was doing a lot of exploration and not a lot of heightening. Just kept on saying mosquito over and over again. But then he went off the rails, the mosquito is here, the mosquito is on the wall, the its a wall, not as high as my wall will be. Stephen flies from one thing to another. So the mind is free, its nimble. Its not sane, but its nimble. Stephen mind is free is a kinder way of saying unhinged. Unfettered mind. Stephen unfettered. If he doesnt govern the way he speaks i wonder the way he would govern if he became president of the United States states, he will spend every single day going, wheres my scepter . I havent gotten my scepter yet stephen its gold. Its gold, it should be near the throne. This is just a regular chair. Stephen do you get the same impression, when he calls into Television Shows and theres a photo up there, that hes just on the toilet . Because thats where people mainly have their cell phones. Im on the throne right now. Im on the throne right now. Win huge, were gonna win gigantic and then. Stephen flush yeah. laughter stephen what about hillary . Any thoughts . Heres the thing. Hillarys going to be fine. I think its going to be boiler plate as far as the convention goes. I cant wait for the debates. The debates are what i cant wait for. I cant wait for the debates. cheers and applause stephen oh, that will be fantastic. Because hillary tries to hide it but sometimes hillary does great eye rolls, sometimes if you watch. Somebody gives him a name answer he says, something you dont find in the cupboard and somebody goes, elephant and he just goes laughter like hillary, i cant wait for that. Im going to live on a cloud, and then hillary is laughter stephen i hope shes watching. You should advise her cheers and applause i just want to see good Old Fashioned norman feld, you know, circa 1983 threes company. laughter stephen well, the movie is called dont think twice, and its about written by mike stephen and its about a comedy troupe, an improv troupe i was a member of an improv troup. So was i. Stephen they always have odd names like third rail comedy. My favorite is from an old cast member of yours, Hans Christian yesanderson. The group im still in, i have been in a group for 15 years that comes out of the second city detroit were called the 313. Stephen there was one in giant, called l. B. J. F. K. K. K. I love them. Stephen this is kind of like your life because its about a guy who gets sort of plucked from a small improv and he cant make a living at all. And there are autobiographical elements to the film in regard to my life and career. But the biggest thing thats kind of hard is every rule of got your back, im there for my partner. Serve the other person. Stephen i follow the follower of the servant. Youre more important than i am. The opposite of show business. Stephen exactly get out of my way i need to be a star laughter stephen you went from improv and now youre a star. You must know what this guy is going through because he doesnt know how to feel or talk to the rest of the troupe because he left the family. Hes left the family, its a family that hes made. And theres an ambivalence that he has so hes trying to get everyone from his troupe, all jobs on the show hes on. The problem is hes on the show, trying to get them jobs and everyone on the show is dont get fired your first year. Just you, dont worry about your schmuck friends, just you dont get fired. Hes caught between the two worl