Hillary. [ laughter ] in order to reinforce his warning to Vladimir Putin about vote tampering, president obama reportedly used the socalled red phone that connects moscow to washington. Thats what that does . Said someone whose pizza never arrived. [ laughter and applause ] shouldnt have made it pizza hut red. John mccain recently said that a friendship between donald trump and Vladimir Putin is unlikely because reality is going to intercede at one point or another. But i ask you, do these two men look like they are at all concerned about reality . [ laughter ] [ applause ] i live in a gold house. I ride a horse, no shirt. I am in fantasy novel. Im also in a fantasy novel. Netflix began streaming a biopic of president obama this weekend called barry. Theyll also air a documentary about trumps president ial win called barely. [ light laughter ] [ as trump ] the reason that joke doesnt work is it was a historic blowout. [ light laughter ] donald trump has now waited over four times longer than any other president elect to hold a postelection press conference. He is basically treating the press like a tinder date. They did every dirty thing he wanted and now hes ignoring their texts. [ laughter ] some tinder dates whove been on the wrong side of it out there. [ laughter ] the gambling industry has reportedly asked donald trump to lower regulations on casinos while hes in office. Hey, weve already gambled our entire countrys future on red. May as well go double or nothing. [ applause ] and finally, a novelty shop is that features joseph with his hair in a man bun. Which explains why mary was so adamant about remaining a virgin. Ladies and gentlemen weve got a fantastic show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] hes a fantastic actor starring in the new film assassins creed, our friend Michael Fassbender is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] he is the editor in chief of the new yorker and hes got a fascinating new book, the 60s, the story of a decade, David Remnick is here tonight. And that always means, when davids here all new edition of live new yorker cartoons. One of our favorite things we do here at the show. So youre here an excellent night. But before we get to all of that, with donald trump about to take office, we are soon to embark on the most tweetfilled presidency in history. So in an effort to keep up with Donald Trumps activity on social media its time for our new segment, tweetin with the prez. Yall ready for this seth basically Donald Trumps twitter feed will serve as his version of fdrs fire side chats. If fdr used his fireside chats to say stuff like this. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself and mexicans. [ laughter ] seth were about to enter an era where our president can bypass the Traditional Press directly and spread lies and conspiracy theories unfiltered through his twitter account. For example, the incoming chief of staff Reince Priebus recently suggests that trump might completely scrap the traditional Daily Press Briefings the white house does with reporters. I think that many things have to change. And i think that its important that we look at all of those traditions that are great, but quite frankly as you know dont really make news and theyre just sort of no. Its horrible. Mundane boring episodes. Seth boring episodes . This country needs boring episodes right now. The last 1nt game of thrones where every episode is the battle of the bastards. [ laughter ] we all need a break from this action. I cant believe im saying this, but America Needs some bran. [ laughter ] on top of that, trump hasnt had a press Conference Since july. Which means we are increasingly dependent on his twitter account for information about what hes doing. Like this weekend, when china seized a u. S. Naval drone in international waters, and trump tweeted quote china steals United StatesNavy Research drone in international waters. Rips it out of water and takes it to china in unprecidented act. But drawing as much attention as his shoot from the hip Foreign Policy was his apparent inability to spell because the original tweet trump wrote that it was an, unpresident ed act. Unpresident ed is not a word of course, but it would be a great title for a movie about Hillary Clinton. [ laughter ] she was inevitable until she became unpresident ed. An for being bad at spelling. Im bad at spelling, its just i Pay Attention when twitter tells me when i spelled something wrong. Conservatives complain that obama ignored the red line in syria. Trump ignores it on twitter. [ light laughter ] but of course in our new posttruth era, there is no right or wrong way to spell, as trumps spokesperson Kellyanne Conway said in a statement after the tweet, while liberals focus on spelling, donald trump is focused on the American People and their problems. [ applause ] but again, and this is important. Spelling is only a distraction. We are not all going to die because donald trump cant spell. Unless he accidentally starts a nuclear war with an email like this to Vladimir Putin. [ laughter ] ill have my people kill your people. Back to Foreign Policy, of course trumps team thought his incoherent tweet actually worked. When china gave the drone back following a diplomatic protest from the obama administration, trumps communication director tweeted quote donald trump gets it done china says it will return u. S. Drone it seized. Yeah thats right. Trump got china to give the drone back. Although im not sure trump knows that. Because a few hours later he tweeted we should tell china that we dont want the drone they stole back. Let them keep it. But of course trump doesnt just conduct Foreign Policy on twitter. He also lashes out at news organizations over even the mildest criticism like when he tweeted last week. Has anyone looked at the really poor numbers of vanity fair magazine. Way down. Big trouble. Dead. Grayden carter. No talent, will be out. He writes his tweets like hes interpreting them from a border collie. Whats that girl . Way down . Big trouble . Dead . Mine collapse . Worker trapped . Call the sheriff. Go. [ cheers and applause ] the tweet was apparently prompted by an article that claimed trump grill could be the worst restaurant in america. Oh come on. Trump grills not even the worst restaurant in midtown. [ light laughter ] and then there was trumps recent meeting with he Major Tech Companies which conspicuously excluded you are not going to believe this, twitter. How could he not invite twitter . Twitter is the only Technology Trump uses. I cant see him ordering off amazon. Melania are we prime . I need to make sure ivanka gets her presents by christmas. Im doing 30day shipping for eric and donald jr. [ light laughter ] twitters exclusion was not an accident. In fact it was apparently done out of revenge. As politico reported, twitter was told it was bounced from wednesdays meeting between tech executives and trump. In retribution for refusing during the campaign to allow an emoji version of the hash tag crooked hillary. Although to be fair twitter does have an emoji for trumps presidency. [ laughter and applause ] this has been tweetin with the prez. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with more late night everybody. [ cheers and applause ] when i was too busy with the kids to get a repair estimate. Liberty did what . Yeah, with Liberty Mutual all i needed to do to get an estimate was snap a photo of the damage and voila voila sigh i wish my Insurance Company had that. Wait hold it. Hold it boys. Theres supposed to be three of you. Wheres your brother . Wheres your brother . Hey, wheres charlie . Charlie . you can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you. Liberty stands with you™ Liberty Mutual insurance catchy up eat music so tasty. I love my shop, but my back pain was making it hard to sleep and open up on time. Then i found aleve pm. The only one to combine a sleep aid plus the 12 hour pain relieving strength of aleve. Now im back. Aleve pm for a better am. [ cheers and applause ] seth you know our first guest tonight from his Academy Award nominated performances in 12 years a slave and as cofounder of apple steve jobs. His new film assassins creed based on the video game franchise is in theaters tomorrow. Lets take a look. What is this . Im sorry, cal. This is not the way i like to do things. Then dont do it. [ yelling ] what do you want from me . Your past. Listen to me carefully, cal. Youre about to enter the animus. What youre about to see, hear, and feel are the memories of someone whos been dead for 500 years. Wait a minute. Synchronization achieved. Commence regression. Seth please welcome back to the show Michael Fassbender. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Thank you very much. Seth always such a pleasure to have you here. Great to be back. Seth so for people who might not know this video game give us a sense of what this is about. Because you actually get to play two versions of yourself. I do, yeah. Basically it starts in the garden of eden. Where all good stories start. Seth like this is going to be a long story . Because i feel like when you start there all your stories start there and im like, michael, we have to pick up the pace. [ laughter ] no, basically its a world where templars and assassins are at war with each other for basically the future of humanity and templars believe in science and order. They also believe some people should be enslaved, and they kind of run the world. And then youve got assassins that believe in free will for all people and theyre there to maintain and protect at all costs. What you saw there was the genetic delorian if you like. Its like a genetic time machine. That allows you to access your ancestors memories. Because all of us in our dna have the knowledge and experience of our ancestors within our dna. Something that you might think of as a sixth sense. Or a gut feeling or an instinct, thats actually a survival tool that is passed down to us from our ancestors. And with this machine you can access their dna and travel back in time. Seth and youre the ancestor version of you is of course a lot more kickass than the present day version of you. Well seth i dont know [ laughter ] im just saying, you get to wear a hood. We saw you there and you did not have the hood. Yes. Seth this is your hood work. One of them talks a lot and the other one doesnt talk that much. Seth right. When you go when we see ancestor version not a lot of dialogue. Ha do you, as an actor, are you psyched when you see oh, man, i dont have to say anything . Well, luckily i was involved as a producer in this, so i made sure that i didnt have much to say. [ laughter ] no, its in spanish, the regression part of it. Seth do you speak no i dont speak spanish. [ laughter ] seth as a producer did you ever think of casting someone else . [ laughter ] it did cross my mind. Seth okay, gotcha. So yeah we wanted to keep the spanish to a minimum for myself. Seth so give us some of the spanish words. Do you even remember any of the three spanish words . I cant believe youre asking me that. Oh god. Um. Seth que. You say que a lot. Youre like confused. [ speaking spanish ] seth oh, so there you go. Youre fine. What was that . Our own lives are nothing. Seth oh, thats perfect dialogue. [ laughter ] yeah. Seth that would be if you got Rosetta Stone and that was the first thing it taught you youd be like i dont think i want these tapes. [ laughter ] by the way all the spanish are people who are going, its like, id like some hot sauce. Seth yeah, exactly. He said this piaya is too chewy. [ laughter ] by the way this is assassin this is an assassin hood. That is an assassin costume with hood. Seth i think this is problematic because assassins need to be sneaky. Anybody who saw this guy would say this guy is an assassin. But in a time where a lot of people were wearing hoods seth oh so this was the look. This is what dentist look imagine, you know imagine this was a hoodie in sort of track suit form in modern day. Seth gotcha. Just blend in. Seth this is a college kid on his way to the coffee shop. Thats right, yeah. Seth you mentioned not having a lot of apple picking. Seth did you have any parkour knowledge before this film because . Luckily yes. Seth you did . Im excellent at parkour. [ laughter ] pretty much like my spanish. I had to work on the parkour. Yeah. And did you do a lot of your own physical stunts in the film . No, because im a producer. [ laughter ] seth youre too valuable. If anything happened to you i cant do that. Thats a rolie polie. I cant do a rolie polie. Ug i no, i did, you know, it was very important because we filmed this kind of old school way. You know, all the stunts take place in real locations with real people. A lot of the times with these sort of films now its very cgi dominated. So, you know, we didnt want to do that and so yes i did a lot of it. I did myself and ariane labed, she plays maria. We did 95 of the fights ourselves and some of the jumps and we did 120 foot leap of faith. Well we, i say we. A guy called damien walters, my stunt double, did. And he did it seth you had faith in him. [ laughter ] i did. You know, because he did it without, you know, any wires, no cords. Seth wow. Yeah. Into an inflatable bag. Seth now tell me when you do that, is that something you only have one shot at or do you make damien do you say, aw lens cap we have a few damiens. [ laughter ] seth the key is to have a exactly. Seth i want to ask you about this. Last time you were here we talked a little backstage about this. You were in the fantastic Quentin Tarantino film, inglorious basterds. A film i love. Yeah. Seth and when you were 17 years old did a stage production of reservoir dogs. Yes. Seth and this was your idea. You produced that as well. Is that fair to say . I did, yeah. I directed it and produced it from what i knew what that was at the time. Because i was just so, you know, naive but i had a lot of passion and just got my friends together. We started off just fiing it in the locker room at the school. Our version of reservoir dogs and i said to my friend marco, who is actually backstage now. I said, you know, we should do this on stage. Its perfect for stage. Its really, you know, takes place in, you know, the warehouse for most of it. So then we got the ball rolling but the problem was nobody really wanted to be associated with reservoir dogs because the material was so controversial. And it was very it was difficult to even get a charity to take the money. Nightclub, which was a nightclub in killarney, and still is i think, said you can do it here. So we put it on in the nightclub and we had all the strobe lighting, all the cool lighting and sound effects so it worked out well. Seth and then when you met Quentin Tarantino, did you tell him you had done this production without his permission . I did. [ laughter ] i did. I couldnt help it. I had to tell him at the audition in case i never saw him again and he was like his face was sort of like that and i said, dont worry i said. We gave the money to charity and hes like, thats cool, man. [ laughter ] as long as youre not making any money out of my [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] seth he was worried he was worried you were profiting off of him. Am i allowed to say [ bleep ] . Seth you can say it, yeah. Well, you know, if you hadnt the follow up would have been problematic. Exactly. [ laughter ] seth youre allowed to say it once. So y mentioned, obviously, you grew up in ireland and i think this people might misunderstand that they assume people who are irish watch a lot of British Television but you grew up very much on american tv. Ireland we didnt get bbc and british channels so it was just rd one and rd two. So we would get a lot of american tv shows. Seth and ive heard you are you have a talent. I dont know if its a talent. Well find out. Its a strange thing, yeah. Seth is this you can do theme songs from the 80s. Yeah. Seth and im gonna try and guess what they are, cause i also was a child of the 80s. Okay. Seth so, challenge. Okay. Well start off with the first one. [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] seth i have no idea. What was it . Im not it wasnt necessarily a synthesizer, but it was the only sound that i could really sort of make sense of. [ laughter ] trapper john md. Seth trappehn seth that might be 70s. Yeah and also im thinking of all of these kickass 80s shows and you chose trapper john md . Well i gotta find obscure ones. Seth okay, gotcha. I cant do the sort of, normal ones. Ill give you another one. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] seth i dont know again what was it . Well, that last bit that i sung was when Bruce Boxleitner comes in. So does that seth was it the hulk . No wait. No. Seth oh, im thinking of bruce another bruce. Yeah, thats bruce banner. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] no, he was the actors name. The other guy. Scarecrow and mrs. King. Seth oh my goodness. Scarecrow and mrs. King. Did anyone know that . No. All right. [ laughter ] much harder than i thought it would be. [ laughter ] i know. Seth alright, one more. Okay, ill do a more mainstream seth youre very good at this. Ill do another mainstream one. Okay, let me see. Okay. [ light laughter ] seth saint elswhere. Oh my god, it is so great to have you here. [ cheers and applause ] Michael Fassbender, everybody. Assassins creed is in theaters tomorrow. Well be right back with more late night. By the time you head to the bank and wait to get approved for a home loan, that newly listed, midcentury ranch with the garden patio will be gone. Or you could push that button. Sfx rocket launching. Cockpit sounds and music crescendo. Skip the bank, skip the waiting, and go completely online. Get the confidence that comes from a secure, qualified mortgage approval in minutes. Lift the burden of getting a home loan with Roc