Efforts to explore deep space and lay the ground work for a Human Mission to mars. Ooh, me first said one volunteer. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] passengers on Foreign Airlines traveling to the u. S. From ten airports in muslim majority countries have been barred from carrying Electronic Devices larger than a cell phone. Seems extreme, but its worth it if it stops even one tourist from taking pictures with an ipad. [ laughter and applause ] has to stop. It has to stop. Ivanka trump is reportedly getting an office in the white house in addition to security clearance and governmentissued communication devices. Even more unbelievable, so is donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] an office . In the white house. [ laughter ] according to reports, ivanka trumps role in the white house will be to act as es while Mitch Mcconnell will continue to be the neck. [ laughter ] i have enough i have enough neck for both of us, mr. President. And my neck will be at your neck and call. [ laughter ] Supreme Court nominee neil gorsuch said during his confirmation hearing today that he would have no difficulty ruling against President Trump, which is bad news for trump because he has a pretty big impeachment trial coming up. [ laughter ] hearings for Donald TrumpsSupreme Court nominee neil gorsuch began this week, and congress has been looking into gorsuchs legal career to try and determine what kind of justice hell be. But we think to get a sense of who someone is, you need to look at their entire career. So we took the liberty of digging up the rest of his work history. Here are some other jobs neil gorsuch has had. Understudy for trivago guy. [ laughter ] handsome man who comes wit [ laughter and applause ] tough but Fair High School basketball coach who takes urban high school all the way to a state championship. [ applause ] happy man in second half of a cialis commercial. [ laughter ] anderson coopers straight twin. [ audience oohs ] guidance counselor whos very disappointed in you. [ laughter ] man who gives out raisins at halloween. And, finally, Merrick Garland impersonator. [ audience ohs ] this has other jobs neil gorsuch has had. [ cheers and applause ] north korea today described its Nuclear Program as a treasured sword of justice, which is the same term kim jong un uses to describe his cheese knife. [ laughter ] a lot of your fans here tonight, pal. [ light laughter ] a man recently created a sex that can switch between family mode and sex mode. And im guessing that man doesnt have either e. [ laughter and applause ] today was bread day, so id like to propose a toast. [ audience groans ] [ laughter and applause ] yeah yeah [ cheers and applause ] cause guess what . Thats the one youre going to remember. [ laughter ] the next bread day, when that rolls around [ audience ohs ] and youre using it at work and getting a big laugh, youll remember me. [ light laughter ] finally, according to the american kennel club, the Labrador Retriever was voted the most popular dog breed of 2016. Unfortunately, this dog won the electoral vote. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for he is one of the stars and the director of the film chips. Dax shepard will be joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] shes the host of kicking and screaming on fox. Hannah simone joins us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] and we will have music from a great l. A. Pop band, hey violet. [ cheers and applause ] so thats all very exciting. Before we get to that, White House PressSecretary Sean Spicer has been holding a lot of press briefings lately, but i dont think all the questions america wants answers to have been asked, so we decided to hold another one right here, right now. Thats right. Sean spicer and the late night press corps are in our studio and ready to go. So without further ado, its time for the late night White House Press briefing. [ cheers and applause ] seth mr. Spicer. Mr. Spicer. Mr. Spicer. Yes, thank you. Seth meyers, late night with seth meyers. Mr. Spicer, were now 60 days into the president s term. Youve been doing this . For, you know, over a decade. [ laughter ] seth how hard is it to get President Trumps hair ready in the morning . Its like building a puzzle. [ laughter ] seth mr. Spicer, youve been quoted as saying the house drools. Do you have anything to add to that . The senate rules. [ laughter ] seth okay. Is it true that President Trump still thinks elvis is alive . I think the president had a call earlier with the king, a couple of weeks back. [ laughter ] seth Bernie Sanders continues to be a voice of opposition to the trump presidency. When do you think bernie will retire . Seth on his 250th birthday. [ cheers ] [ laughter ] seth what sentence have you had to say the most since taking this job . The president will travel to maralago for the weekend. [ laughter and applause ] seth and i always wondered, what does maralago translate to in english . Where money is being wasted. Seth ah, okay. Wasted. What do you think it felt like to be on the titanic when it hit that iceberg . Make no mistake, were on it right now. Seth yeah. [ laughter and applause ] there is a lot of female nudity in movies and on tv. I think its only fair that there should be more male nudity. What do you think . I think the sooner that we can get all those prongs out there, the better. I agree with you. [ laughter ] seth you call them prongs. I think thats weird. [ light laughter ] is the president mentally ill or just terribly unqualified . Combined. Both of those things together. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i heard you like to take lsd before press briefings. Why is that . It makes it seem like its all rainbows and puppies. [ laughter ] this year . I i dont have a date. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] seth but if you could choose anyone, who would your dream date be . The deputy crown prince and minister of defense of the kingdom of saudi arabia. Seth oh, okay. [ laughter ] very specific. What do you call that thing runners do before a race . I think that that would be a stretch. Seth yeah, thats right. [ light laughter ] how many undigested pieces of gum are in your stomach at any given time . You know, 218, 219. [ light laughter ] seth heres one for you. Why do the guards in front of londons big ben always look so tired . They are working around the clock. [ laughter ] seth nice one, spicy. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] you know it was good. You know it was good. After doing this job, do you have any conscience or morality left . Do you still have a soul . Uh, thats a good question. I dont. [ laughter ] seth no. And in closing, i would like to end on the same question i always ask. How is the president s penis . Historically faulty. Seth oh, yeah . [ laughter and applause ] what what happened . The snowstorm kind of shifted a bunch of stuff up. [ audience ohs ] seth well, it looks like were out of time, so on behalf of the rest of the press corps, have a good night. Well be right back with dax shepard. [ cheers and applause ] an unlimited data plan is only as good as the network its on. And verizon has been ranked number one for the 7th time in a row by rootmetrics. man hey, uh, whats rootmetrics . Its the nations largest independent study and it ranked verizon 1 in call, text, data, speed and reliability. woman do they get a trophy . Not that i know of. But you get unlimited done right. man 2 why dont they get a trophy . man 3 they should get something. woman 2 how about a plaque . I have to drop this. My arms getting really tired. Unlimited on verizon. 4 lines, just 45 per line. The little sounds your crispy bacon makes drive me crazy. You naughty little. spank did you just spank your lunch . Yeah. spank devour. Food you want to fork. If youve got a life, you gotta swiffer is thno, its, uh, breyers gelato indulgences. You really wouldnt like it. Its got caramel and crunchy stuff. I like caramel and crunchy stuff. Breyers gelato indulgences. Its way beyond ice cream. Thanks to applebees new 2fordate night. Girls night. Or just any night, has never tasted better. Enjoy two classic favorites in one savory dish, with the spinach artichoke chicken cavatappi. Two fullsize entrees and an app for just 20 bucks. Only at applebees. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight on drums, from one of the big four pioneers in thrash metal, anthrax. His new album for all kings is out now along with a u. S. Tour kicking off next week at the wellmont theater in montclair, new jersey. Charlie benante, everybody. Give it up for charlie. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here man. Our first guest tonight is a talented actor you know from the nbc series parenthood and films like hitandrun and baby mama. He wrote, directed, and stars in the new action comedy chips which is in theaters friday. Lets take a look. Once you drag me there, youre gonna have to lift me up into the tub anyway. Oh god. So just grab me and get it over with. Fine, fine. Ow. God youre hurting me man. Lets just get it over with. Youre making it worse come on im not going to argue semantics with you. Oh my god, dude. Did you break anything . No. Hey, man. Did uh did i feel you face plant into my pubic bone . No, no, no there was no contact. Are you sure . I could have swore i felt either your nose or your lips. No, nothing touched, bro. Nothing touched. Might have been a little bit of contact. [ laughter ] seth please welcome to the show, dax shepard, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Im good. Seth thats great. What a raucus bunch. Seth its a raucus crowd. Yeah. S yeah, we were or the premier was last night in la. Seth yeah. And then so i took the 7 00 a. M. Flight, and theyre, like, itll be fine. Youre going to have a full hour to, you know. And then the flight was a half hour late, and then on the ride in right before the 59th street bridge, a gal just torpedoed in to the side of the car and then drug along the entire length of the suburban and then kept going. So then we had to, like, get up next to her. And i rolled down the window, i was, like, you very much just ran into us. And she was i dont want to offend anyone, but it felt like a millenial reaction. She just goes like, no, i didnt, and tough. And then i had to, like, take a picture of her license plate and then finally she pulled over. So i basically solved a crime on the way here. Seth wow but that left me that left me with about 30 seconds to get this suit on and my hair. So guys, if my hair doesnt look on point tonight seth yeah. Cut me some slack. Seth yeah, cut some slack. Yeah. Seth it seems very fitting that you would solve a crime on the road. Almost feels stunted, doesnt it . Seth yeah. Suspicious. Seth its like this is the yeah. Seth i feel like the Hollywood Studio floor routine. And then i had to commandeer a motorcycle and chase her. Seth wait a second. Yeah seth wait a second. Yeah when she saw me, she was, like, john baker seth were you a huge chips fan growing up . Was that a thing . Yeah, i mean, i was 2 when the show came out. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth i was i guess i feel like i may be like four or five years older than you. Are you two years older than me . Seth im 43. How old are you . That makes me feel better im 42. Seth okay, so it was that we were that young, when it came out . We were two and three respectively when it came out, and then eight and nine when it went off the air. Seth that is guys, i was a mathlete. [ laughter ] i can crunch numbers like that all night long. Seth yeah. So as a twoyearold. Seth right. What i liked was, like, motorcycles and california. Seth yeah. Im from detroit where its gray and miserable eight months of the year. And youd turn on this show, and it was like palm trees and biki all the time. And it just felt like another planet. Seth yeah, i feel like that was the appeal for most people. Uhhuh. Seth i dont think, like, people reflect back on chips theyre, like, the character development. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] well because there are some real diehard fans. Seth yeah. That are just so offended that i, you know, dare make it r. Seth change anything . cause i havent just done a shot for shot remake of the television show. Seth yeah. And i understand. You know . Although i dont really understand. Seth yeah. But im saying that to appease them seth to appease the super fans, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, remember back in the day like they did some data on Rush Limbaugh and howard stern, and they had equal amount of listeners who listened just because they hated them. Seth oh, interesting. You know what im seth yeah. Do you remember any of those statistics . And their response was always like, well then, why do you listen . It was like, just to hear what he is going to say next. Like it was the same motivation. So i guess im appealing in that way. Like if you hate the movie, check it out. Seth right. [ laughter ] you know what im saying . Seth yeah. Go in there and hate on it. Seth if you think youre gonna hate it live tweet it seth theres a lot for you. Yeah, i encourage all of them to go out and live tweet the film. Seth you wrote and directed the film as well so i did. Seth and all the stunts were practical in this film. Yes, im a big fan of smokey and the bandit and hooper. Seth sure. And all those movies. Again, im 42. Is everyone clear on that . Okay. Seth yeah. Great. Im old as hell. So yeah, i really like it was just a 12yearold fantasy of mine to show up and like we blew things up all over l. A. , and you know the police were there shutting down the roads, and id ride a wheelie by and theyd be like giving me the thumbs up. I mean the whole thing was a 12yearolds dream come true. Seth you so the cops were pro you doing this film. Obviously youre playing a cop in the film. Yes. Seth they were excited to be a part of it. Yes. Seth have you have all your runins with cops up to this moment been as positive as that . This favorable . No. Ive had a lot of bad runins with them. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] people have said, like, oh, did you do research for this movie . And im, like, yeah. [ laughter ] ive talked to dozens of them on thde they are the politest police department, by the way. Its like getting pulled over by the canadians or something. Seth oh, really . Its just theyre very nice. Yeah. I recommend it. But i did have a very weird experience, very surreal. It was late one night. I, for a moment raced for lamborghini. Seth yeah. They lent me a lamborghini. If youre at home, i would hate my guts at this point. But anyways they lent me a lamborghini. Seth a loner. A loaner lamborghini. I had a loaner lamborghini. And i was at a stoplight, and i saw a cop pull up next to me, and it was late. So like my muscle memory was just dont look at them. Seth sure. So, no looking at them, but then i noticed their cars like revving. Its like [ car revving sounds ] and its tilting. Im, like, what is going on . So finally i look at them, and theyre, like, roll down your as if it had crank windows. [ laughter ] but thats still the sign, i guess. Seth that is still the sign. Yeah, yeah. Seth because nobody goes like this will always be telephone even though it doesnt make sense. Seth yeah. So yeah so, i roll down the window, and they go, that which meant to me they had seen this movie i made hit and run. Seth yeah. Which is the car chase movie. And it has my old lincoln in it. And i go, oh, its much faster than the lincoln. They go, prove it [ laughter ] and im, like, i want to be ultra clear on this, you are telling me to do a whole shot from this stop light . And theyre, like, come on, man get on it and by god, i floored it to the next light like zero to 100. Then next stoplight they rolled up. That thing rips then they were revving the thing. I was, like i was waiting for kristen to like nudge me awake. Seth so this is your wife kristen bell and we actually the connection for us is that at college kristens roommate is my sisterinlaw. Thats right. Seth ariel. So long i mean i knew you peripherally seth yeah. I cant say that word. Through like amy poheler, and stuff. Seth yes, of course. And we had met, but because of that connection of our wives and the way women talk to each other, i knew so much about you s guys, seth is a gentle lover. Seth thank you. [ laughter and applause ] yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Seth because i cant say it. Considerate. Seth yep. Youre considerate. Seth yep. Youre patient. Seth yeah. And youre gentle. Seth it is funny unless the situation calls for not being gentle. Seth well, yeah. And then hes a rough customer, guys. [ laughter ] seth well because you have to switch it up. Its all on the menu. Seth in marriage thats what i like about you. Its like going to a spa where every service is available. Seth i [ laughter ] if you just read fifty shades of grey. Seth yeah. You can do that. Seth i would say pages 72 to 115 is basically my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth that was well you had a pending lawsuit, didnt you . Against seth i dont think im going to win. No, no. Seth im going at it hard. Im throwing a lot of money at it. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth but then the funny thing when you meet a guy did you hear anything about me . Sorry to interrupt you. Seth oh, um no. That was a no. Seth i didnt really. Okay, what were you going to say . [ laughter ] seth but that is a funny thing because when you meet a guy who your wives know each other. Yeah. Seth theres always that sense of, like, hi. Weve probably h s yes. And were expected to get along now. Seth yeah, we are. Yes. Seth well probably have dinner this week now that youre in town, im looking forward to that. Oh, yeah, yeah absolutely. I mean i do genuinely like you. Seth hey, i genuinely like you too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Youre one of the good guys. Seth thank you. [ laughter ] and youre smart. And when smart people win, its so exciting. Seth thank you. Because its so rare. Seth it is so rare. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Yeah, yeah. Seth i did though not through my wife, but i did hear something about you through my sisterinlaw. Because shes an interior designer. Mmhmm. Seth and i know shes done work for you guys. Yeah. Seth and when you if the lamborghini story didnt turn you off, we also have had some interior design work done on the house. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] whitepeopleproblems seth yeah. Hashtag, samsung appliance people problems. Yeah. Seth yeah. But you tell them about that briefcase of money i have at my house. Seth wait, you just found it yeah, yeah, yeah seth you found it in the road those cops gave it to you. I was like i cant i dont even have time to count this [ lau