Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20180202 :

WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers February 2, 2018

Listen to advice . [ laughter ] this is the same guy who heard about the eclipse, and told the sun to bring it. [ laughter and applause ] so President Trump yesterday, praised chicago cubs coowner Todd Ricketts appointment as the rncs new finance chairman, calling him a great addition. Yeah, great if you want to win one election every 108 years. [ laughter and applause ] republican chair of the house intelligence committee, devin nunes, yesterday claimed the changes made to a controversial memo about the fbi before he sent it to the white house were minor grammatical edits. Thats right. He had to make the grammar worse so trump could read it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] take these commas out. [ laughter ] President Trump today said that senator orrin hatch called him the greatest president in the history of our country. I guess hatch is still mad at Abraham Lincoln for stealing his girlfriend in middle school. [ laughter and applause ] the super bowl sunday is this sunday between new england patriots, and the philadelphia eagles. The game will determine whether philadelphia is burned to the ground by happy fans, or sad fans. [ laughter and applause ] one or the other. According to reports there will be 110,000 condoms given away at this years winter olympics, that way athletes can safely practice the twoman luge. [ laughter and applause ] finally, according to a new list new yorkers visit chinese restaurants more than people in any other city, and they all get the same fortunes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we have a fantastic show for you tonight. Shes one of our favorites. Shes the host of msnbcs the Rachel Maddow show, Rachel Maddow, back on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] hes starring in a new comedy on fox la to vegas, Dylan Mcdermott is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] im going to go day drinking with Kelly Clarkson, and were going to have music from rita ora. [ cheers and applause ] shes fantastic. So happy shes back. Before we get to all of that, republicans have concocted an elaborate fantasy about a conspiracy deep within the fbi to destroy donald trump, and that imagined conspiracy is now coming to a head with the imminent release of a secret gop memo. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth amid a looming showdown with his own fbi director, and members of congress, trump met today with republicans in west virginia. He began by listing off republicans in attendance, but watch as he reads Senate Majority whip john cornyns name then forgets he read it, and then complains that they forgot to include it. Senate majority whip john cornyn, john, thank you, great job. [ applause ] House Majority whip steve scalise. Again, steve, thank you. [ applause ] House Majority leader kevin mccarthy. Kevin . [ applause ] chair john thune and house conference chair, Cathy Mcmorris rodgers. Did they forget your name, john . I dont know. [ laughter ] whats going on here . John cornyn everybody, now, they didnt put his name up, but thats okay. Thats the first time thats ever happened. Seth do you mean thats the first time thats never happened . [ laughter ] you just said his name. Do you not remember. You looked right at him. [ laughter ] makes sense trump has the memory of a goldfish since he also has the mouth of one. [ cheers and applause ] this is starting to feel like the last season of a longrunning tv show where the writers decide to have the main character fall off a horse, and get amnesia. Hi, im donald. Hi donald, im john. Whos donald . [ laughter ] trump, of course, was there to crow about his state of the union address, and bask in the adoration of his fellow republicans. Trump even suggested that after a slow first few months in office hes gone above, and beyond what he promised voters on the campaign trail. I was there four months, you know this paul, and they were saying he didnt fulfill a promise, but now we fulfilled far more promises than we promised. [ laughter ] and theyre having a hard time with that. We have seriously fulfilled promise, i call it promises plus. [ laughter ] seth he refers to his accomplishments like theyre choices at a gas station. [ laughter ] we have promises, promises plus and promises unleaded, just dont get them near a match. [ cheers and applause ] of course, while he was giving that speech, trump probably had the ongoing russia investigation on his mind. Now, we dont know if trump will ever agree to sit down with special counsel robert mueller, but if he does, mueller is likely to ask him about his repeated attempts to interfere with the investigation. Just to name a few, he demanded a loyalty oath from fbi director james comey, then when he fired comey, he asked comeys temporary successor Andrew Mccabe who he voted for. And then yesterday we learned that he also tried to ask Deputy Attorney general rod rosenstein, who directly oversees mueller in the russia investigation, if rosenstein was on trumps side. Cnn is breaking right now news about a meeting in december between President Trump, and the Deputy Attorney general, rod rosenstein, the Justice Department official supervising the mueller probe. The president asked rosenstein where he thought the investigation of links between russians and his campaign was headed, and he went on to ask whether rosenstein was quote, on my team. Seth oh my god. Trump is so obvious. If you met trump on tinder, and messaged him hello, his first reply would be what size bed do you have . [ laughter ] on top of that, we also learned yesterday that mueller is reportedly investigating the white houses shifting explanations for that Infamous Trump tower meeting. Don jr. Had with the russians during the 2016 campaign. As you might recall, the trump team originally said don jr. And the russians discussed a program about the adoption of russian children. A topic that is of course close to don jr. s heart since his brother was adopted from, transylvania . [ laughter ] i think . But then emails later surfaced in which it was revealed that the meeting was explicitly about getting dirt on Hillary Clinton from the russians. The times reported that trump and his Communications Director hope hicks knew about the emails, but that hicks said the emails, quote, will never get out. Amazing, so not only did the emails get out, the comment about how the emails would never get out, got out. [ laughter and applause ] this administration is so incompetent they cover their tracks with bigger tracks. [ cheers and applause ] and yet as more evidence comes out about trumps attempts to obstruct justice, republicans in congress are becoming more aggressive in protecting it. Today the white house reportedly approved the release of a secret, classified memo written by House Republicans alleging wrongdoing by the fbi in its investigation of the Trump Campaign. The Washington Post reported today that trump has told advisers that he believes the memo could help him convince the public that the probe is a witch hunt, but even trumps own handpicked fbi director, Christopher Wray has told the white house he opposes release of the memo because it contains inaccurate information, and paints a false narrative. Nonetheless, the white house seems to be moving forward. Vice president mike pence told politico, ive always believed in the publics right to know, and i stand by that principle. Oh, really, mike pence . [ laughter ] youve always believed in the publics right to know . In that case, will you release trumps tax returns . Okay. Wait [ cheers and applause ] will you release the white house visitor logs . No, no, no. Ill give you another one, will you release all the russiarelated emails . [ applause ] will you release eric . [ laughter ] but what does this memo actually say . Well the New York Times reported this week that in reality the memo shows that trumps own Justice Department approved an extension of a warrant to surveil a Trump Campaign Foreign Policy adviser named carter page. The renewal shows that the Justice Department under President Trump saw reason to believe that page was acting as a russian agent. So just how suspicious is carter page . Ill let carter page answer that. Were you in email chains with papadopoulos . Probably a few, yeah. Were you in email chains with him about russia . It may have come up from time to time. Did you meet Sergey Kislyak in cleveland, did you talk to him . Im not going to deny that i talked with him. So you did talk to him . Although i will say i will say that i never met him anywhere outside of cleveland, lets just say that much. The only time that you met him was in cleveland . That i may have met him possibly, would it might have been in cleveland. Seth look at how happy he is with how guilty he looks carter page looked at chris hayes the way your golden retriever looks at you after hes torn your couch to pieces. [ laughter ] hey, youre home look what i did come on [ laughter ] its really cool i crapped in your shoes, too come on theres a very clear through line here from the initial false statement about the trump tower meeting to the secret gop memo. At every turn the trump team has sought to conceal the truth and interfere with an investigation to get at the truth. Mike pence, dont you guys have any shame . Oh, yeah, all right. This has been a closer look. 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Yahoooo ahoooo plus, unlimited family plans come with netflix included. Spectacular so, you can watch all your netflix favorites on your new samsung phones. Whoa join the uncarrier and get a Samsung Galaxy s8 free. All on americas best unlimited network. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. And give it up for the 8g band, everybody [ cheers and applause ] this weeks drummer has played with music icons beyonce, maceo parker and her own band, the nth power, whose new single truth is out now and has a u. S. Tour kicking off february 21st in steamboat springs, colorado. Nikki glaspie, everyone thank you so muc [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thanks. Seth sometimes, on a friday, i like to take a day off, go out with a friend and just get wasted in the afternoon. This week, my friend was Kelly Clarkson. And every drink you see us take in this video is real alcohol. Its time once again for seth and Kelly Clarkson go day drinking. Seth with all of the crazy stuff going on in the world these days, sometimes you just need to take a break and drink during the afternoon. And today im going to do it with Kelly Clarkson. Hi kelly. Hello. Hello. Im ready. Seth alright. Yall ready . Seth were going to start with a little bit of beer. Cheers. This is dangerous. [ laughter ] seth its time for day drinking with Kelly Clarkson. Oh my god. Youre a champ. Seth all right. So were going to make some drinks based on your esteemed career. Ready. Seth we are going to do the simon cowell. Of course. Seth well, heres the thing. We tried to think, what are the things that are true about simon . So we are going to start with some hot sauce. Right . Yeah, whats going to kill you . Seth little bit of hot sauce. Were going to put in some vodka right here. Okay. Seth and then were going to put in some hot sauce. [ laughter ] god. Seth and then well put in some bitters for simon. Okay. Seth because well you know why. Yep. Seth and then, well finish it off with a little more hot sauce. Oh seth and lets have ourselves a simon cowell. Okay. You gave me the bigger one. Seth cheers you know him better. Cheers. Seth woo its burning seth that will put hair on your chest in the vneck. And i dont want that [ laughter ] my mouth is on fire. So, like, maybe not hot sauce. Seth not hot sauce. Because my lips are on fire. Seth my lips are on fire, too. This is my lips are on fire seth wait, do that one more time. [ both ] my lips are on fire seth alright, great. I was harmonizing with you. Seth alright. This is real. Seth so this is in honor of the grammys. Okay. Seth but its in honor not of honor your grammys because i dont believe in awards. Wait. [ laughter ] seth this is about my grammy. About somebody seth my grammy, someone who is dear to me. So were going to put in brandy. Because that was grammys drink. And were going to put in 12 werthers originals. [ laughter ] this is such an old seth four, five, here we go. All right. Does that even blend . Seth this is the first grammy thats ever been served in anywhere. Do you truly not believe in awards . Seth look, i dont believe in them because i dont win them enough. [ laughter ] there we go. That was amazing. Seth cheers, to grammy. Cheers. This is going to bad. Oh god. Seth thats a very good drink. You are a liar. [ laughter ] dude, are you okay . Seth im thinking about my grammy. H, did she die . Seth no, shes back at my apartment. Youre stupid. Seth no, im just kidding. Shes dead. [ laughter ] im going to make you a drink. Seth oh, great. Okay. Seth bartender bartender oh god. You are a mean consumer. Seth what are you making . Okay, im going to make you a blake shelton. Seth oh, a blake shelton. This is bourbon. Seth okay. We got tennessee whiskey. Seth okay. Weve got Southern Comfort. Seth excellent. Cause hes southern. Sometimes hes comfortable. Seth and he comforts. He brings comfort to us all. Sometimes. And then were going to throw in, because hes dating gwen stefani, some bananas so seth oh, you are going to shake the bananas . Yes, yes. You got to get the Southern Comfort and all of it, all over there. Okay, here we go. Seth alright, this is the worst drink. I got more bananas. Seth this is disgusting. Bananas. Seth bananas. To gwen stefani. Seth what are you doing . Oh, my god i could use some toothpaste. [ laughter ] my breath is like hot sauce and bananas. Seth no, its great. Blow right in my face. Come on its really bad. Its bad. [ laughter ] seth okay. Okay, so this next shot is called the voice. Seth the voice. Yes. Seth okay. In honor of the voice. Seth okay. cause this is the show im going to be winning this season. Seth oh, congratulations. Thank you. But you have to spin around. Seth okay. Like youre in the chair. Seth so start im going to pour your shot. Youre not going to know what it is. Seth so i just spin around . Yeah. And stay there sir. Stay there. Okay. You dont know what it is. Now you can spin around. Seth say go. Go yes seth im not going to highfive you. What was that . [ laughter ] it was french. Because ive also been on the voice in montreal. La voix. Seth la voix. So what is this is la voix seth wait, what how does the theme song go in french . This is la voix seth lets do it together. One, two, three. [ both ] this is la voix seth so here this is for real. Okay. Seth this is the cognitive test that Donald Trumps doctor gave him. [ laughter ] and im going to administer it to you and see if you can pass. And if you nail it i get to be president. Seth if you nail it, ill do a shot. And if you miss, you do a shot. Im going to be president. Seth what animal is this . For real. This is i snorted. Seth for real. This is the lion. Seth lion. Boom. Okay. [ laughter ] oh, its going to be bad. Seth oh, thats awful. Alright copy to help it with a beer. Seth alright, ready . Im going to do a shot in advance okay. Seth of how excited i am for this next one. Okay. Jesus. Seth okay ooh all right. Name the maximum number of words in one minute that begin with the letter

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