What an Older Queer Man Wants in the Dating Pool kate_sept2004 via iStock What does love look like for those who reach the beautiful age of 40 while being queer? I am currently a 41-year-old queer man. Much of my understandings of dating come from the experiences of my heterosexual, single mother and my older sisters. I have watched as they have navigated through love and heartache with all its successes and failures while also aging, being mothers, and above all finding love. Being a spectator to the men they have dated has gifted me a litany of free lessons on what to do and what not to do, but the stark difference is that I am queer (I’m also not a dad—but, one day, hopefully). I have learned lessons around fidelity, healthy communication, setting boundaries, and financial planning. As I have physically aged, I have not only assessed what I desire and what I don’t want, but now I want to also give insight to those who may meet a man like myself.