Night. It was the hottest World Series Game ever 103 degrees. I was at the game. They didnt have to cook the dodger dogs thats how hot it was. So last night we taped the show early. So cleto and cletos dad and my dad and guillermo and my son kevin could go to the game. My dads a big dodgers fan. The cletos and guillermo are too. Its the world series we wanted to go, even though we have work. The game starts at 5 00. And its already 5 30. But we figure well be there by the top of the third. Thats what we keep saying top of the third. Everybody get in the put the game on the radio, it was a. M. Radio, i wasnt sure i had it but we found it put the address in ways. We start the journey to Dodger Stadium which is a nightmare even when its not rush hour but it was rush hour. Going was slow. We listen to the game on the radio. Its already the third ining when we get to the car, which is surprising because the games only been going a half hour. Already we know we will not be there by the top of the third inning. Not only that this game is flying by. Every other batter swinging at the first Clayton Kershaw mowing through the astro lineup. One down, two down evidence the inning. One down two down now we start reestimating what inning we might get there. Now were thinking bottom fourth right . But this game its like you know the youtube setting where everybody plays at double speed . Its like that. The games going as fast as the traffic isnt. We are bumper to burper. For an hour. Im telling myself relax, theres nothing you can do. But i am not relaxed at all. The games flying by and we dont even make it into the dodgers parking lot until the bottom of the fifth inning. Games now more than half over and were still in the car. We have a parking pass for lot g, we get get in we dump the car in z99 us in and start hiking to the stadium. Then we run into a fence which we had to climb over. Then we run into another fence. It was like donald trump had built a wall just to keep us out of the game. [ laughter ] finally wet in the stadium and its hot. Were under the overhang and were sweating from the hike but we dont want to get up and get drinks because we already missed most of the game. We sit down. One inning, two innings, the whole game from start to finish lasted 2 58. 2 28. The blade runner movie was longer than that. The average baseball game goes for like a month, they go on and on. This one was shorter than an olsen twip. [ laughter ] we were there 40 minutes. Then it took us 50 minutes just to get out of the parking lot. Not even and somebody rearended me while we were in the parking lot. I didnt even get out of the car to check the damage like to hell with it who cares. So tonight wore going to watch the game on tv, all right . [ cheers and applause ] we did have fun, right . Did we have fun . Guillermo yeah we had a great time yeah. Jimmy check this by the way, they say the average ticket if you bought it from a broker was 1,300 for a ticket last night. But dodgers fans contrary to popular perception are hardcore as are local kcal news team helped to illustrate. Sold my car for this. You sold your car . I sold my 64 lincoln for this. Paid with a credit card single mom with three kids and my kids say, mom, you have to go, pay with credit card. I have to go jimmy kids just wanted her out of the house for a few hours sounds like to me. This is good this is how another dodgers fan managed to get a two 4 one deal. Did he have to pay full price to come in . No because hes a lap sitter. As long as he sits on your lap, youre good. Lap sitter, lap sitter, lap sitter jimmy lap sitter. Is that a new thing . Lap sitter chair . Anyway last night guillermo was my lap sitter. By the way, for the short time we were at the game there was a woman in front of me and cleto, vouch for me on this she was texting, i swear to god, on her phone nonstop 100 of the time we were there. Theyd send a text to one person then go to another, furiously text her, her thumbs were a blur. They were like i mean, she was texting in spanish. I literally last night not only do people talk faster in spanish, they text faster in spanish. [ laughter ] the second shed finish sending a text she went right to instagram, like like like like like, it was unbelievable. She didnt look up for a second. She had no idea she was at a baseball game. I didnt either because i was watch herring text the whole time. [ laughter ] speaking of dodgers, President Trump has been feuding with a couple of senators from his own party. Jeff flake of arizona and bob corker of tennessee are on his list right now. Senator corker yesterday impolite in no Uncertain Terms that the president is a liar. Jeff flake announced he wont run for reelection because he can no longer support donald trump. He made a big speech about it. This morning on gma he said he thinks a republica that way and expects that they too will speak out soon against the president. And youre not going to believe this the president decided to tweet about this today. He said there are no problems in the gop, in fact they love so much they cannot sit down when he walks in a room. Look at this. So nice being with republican senators today, multiple Standing Ovations most are great people who want big tax cuts. The meeting with republican senators yesterday, outside of flake and corker was a love fest with Standing Ovations and great ideas for usa. Jeff flake with an18 Approval Rating in arizona said a lot of my colleagues have spoken out. Really . They just gave me a standing o. Who wants to be the one who tell him that people are required to stand when the president enters the room . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thats not an accomplishment. Thats like saying every time i walk into a starbucks, guy behind the counter asks me if i want coffee. [ laughter ] if only his mother had hugged him just one time. Of course theres a reason why jeff flake and bob corker are able to criticize the president so openly because neither one of thems trying to get reelected. Like when you and your girlfriend break up on the way out the door she tells me none of my orgasms were real did what happenthat happen to just me . [ laughter ] [ applause ] at the white house a reporter asked President Trump if he thought he should be more civil, and well, heres what he had to say about that. Well i think the press makes me more uncivil than i am. You understand. I went college. I was a nice student. I did very well. Im a very intelligent person. Jimmy when youre the president of the United States and you have to tell others that youre a very intelligent person, not a great sign. [ cheers and applause ] like Shaquille Oneal had to say, listen, im a very tall person. Wed be confused. Hes so insecure. He might be the most insecure person ever. Its interesting. President trump cares so much about Standing Ovations because one thing ive noticed about him, for a sitting president , hes not very good at sitting. Donald trump, sitting president. Donald trump is bad in small chairs. Donald trump is bad in tall chairs. Donald trump is bad in all charles. Donald trump is even bad in chairs that arent chairs. Like this stump made of gold. This block made of wood. And this goose made of anger. Donald trump, standing up for sitting. Im donald trump and im also bad in bed. Jimmy all right, well. [ cheers and applause ] well this is interesting. This is kind of crazy actually. The u. S. Postal service is working on a revolutionary new way to deliver bed, bath beyond coupons to your house. Selfdriving mail trucks could be on the road as soon as 2025. In the future you will be able to get the wrong mail delivered to your house autonomously. And while the selfdriving truck hasnt been tested yet, no one is more excited about it than this guy. His truck drives mail to your home hes inside getting stoned north korea snows hes the toking post man through wind sleet and rain mary jane hes the toking post man hes high as a kite because he wont have to drive you can never be sure that your mail will arrive his eyes are all red and his truck is his bed hes the toking post man hes the token post man thats me [ cheers and applause ] jimmy good luck getting that out of your head. Were going to take a break. When we come back from the break, we went to a Movie Theater, we asked people to give real reviews of a fake movie that they never saw. And they did. And its funny. So stick around, well be right back. Tmobiles unlimited now includes netflix on us. Thats right. Netflix on us. Get 4 unlimited lines for just 40 bucks each. 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None other than michael bay is planning to make a live action dora the explorer, movie this is great, my one issue with michael bay movies is ive never been able to learn span frisch them. The movie is expected to be released sometime in hopefully after the world has ended, but michael bays dora the explorer sounds made up but its real. You know how they do commercials with people coming out of the theater saying great things about the movie they just saw any wondered how genuine these positive reviews are. We did an experiment to put them to the test. We went to a Movie Theater at the grove, the pacific theaters with a poster for a new movie called dirty old granny starring sally field. Its not a movie but we said it was. We asked people who were going to see other movies to give it a rave review and lets find out if they did. Now in the World Premiere of lies, camera, action. Were doing one of those commercials where people talk about a movie theyve just seen as they come out of the theater for an upcoming sally field movie dirty old granny. Can we get you to talk about what you loved about dirty old granny in front of the camera . Sure. Go for it. I loved the humor, it was truly inspiring, i cant wait to see it again. Look in the lens and tell us how much you loved dirty old granny. One of the best movies ive seen the opening scenes were fantastic, i love it. So hilarious. I just was cracking up almost the entire time. I just love dirty old granny, awesome film. Me and my girlfriend had a chance to watch it for the first time. Now im going to bring my kids and the rest of the family to check this movie out because its cool. I love this movie, it was so awesome, what did you think . Pretty great. Granny was a little risque but i mean she was great. I had to cover her eyes sometimes but it was awesome otherwise. We just saw it and my daughter loved it its a perfect movie for kids. I loved dirty old granny, its so funny. Theres a bear in it that has dear diarrhea. I like that thing on your head. Maybe talk about the diarrhea bear. Favorite character. Diarrhea bear. Bar none. Funniest thing youve ever seen. Its actually not a comedy its a drama. For a drama, it was pretty funny. Diarrhea bear makes you want to run right out of the theater. Think about it. We loved dirty old granny, it was so funny, she was so funny, i cant believe they did the things they did. Its actually not a comedy shes struggling with dementia. Oh, okay. Its dramatic. Talk about how dramatic it is. We we thought the movie was very interesting. It was very dramatic. It was funny how it was not funny. Yeah, it was very dramatic. Yeah. This was bill cosbys last role prethe scandal, its impossible to cut him out of the film. Will you let people watch cag know you dont have to agree with what bill cosby did to think this movie is funny . You know a comedy is a comedy. You just got look and go over it a forget about everything but just laugh. You know . How about, i loved bill cosby. I loved bill cosby. Theres a lot of racial humor in the film, can you assure people that this film isnt racist . The movie is not racist. At all. Its very funny. So please dont take offense to it because its not racist. No matter what everybody is saying . No matter what anyone says. Everybody. What everybody anybody says. What everybody is saying. Its not racist. Were trying to appeal to different markets. Can you put that on say, as a construction worker from calabasas, i loved dirty old granny . As a construction worker from calabasas, i loved dirty old granny. As a Police Officer from pomona i loved dirty old granny. Show usace you made during the sex scene. Oh what about when the fit ball team came in and she spit her dentures out . Eeeh what about when she slipped and fell on the wedding cake . Oh that made me that got me. She broke her hip . Oh. Tell us into the camera what you thought oit. I [ bleep ] loved it. Dirty old granny. I would [ bleep ] the [ bleep ] out of dirty granny. Dirty old granny. I would [ bleep ] the [ bleep ] out of dirty old granny. I would [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. I would. I would. Here i got es. I would [ bleep ] the [ bleep ] out of dirty old granny. Id also [ bleep ] the [ bleep ] out of dirty old granny. As a fur trapper from fresno i love dirty old granny. We love bill cosby. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thanks everybody. Weve got a good show for night. Comedian neel nanda is here. Haley bennett is here and be right back with Kenneth Branagh, stick around dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live brought to you by liquid plumber. Theres a plumber in all of us. Travel at the speed of light. And command the currents. They dont need another way to get around. Or do they . [ engine revving ] going on a target run, need anything . Toilet paper bark snickers bitesized. Im on it. Get new, lower prices on thousands of items. Target run done. It all started when sophia found the Perfect Little mug at marshalls. Then piece by piece, surprise by surprise she built the greatest guest bathroom ever. Did she expect to get so much bang for so few bucks . No. But great things happen when you choose surprise. What can you do with two bacon egg and cheese sandwiches for 5 from dunkin . Settle a debt. Make a friend. Save the day. Or keep em both for this handsome devil. With two bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches for 5 the future is in your hands. America runs on dunkin. Steve sweeneys negative headlines keep piling up. Why are south jerseyans so angry at sweeney . Sweeney repeatedly sided with Chris Christie to underfund south jersey schools, increase standardized testing like parcc cut takehome pay for teachers and broke his promise to fund the pensions of hundreds of thousands of new jerseyans all while padding his own. Steve sweeney says a lot of things. But the truth is, hes not on our side. Youve worked hard. Busted tail. And impressed the boss. Maybe its time to be your own . Transform your career with strayer universitys mba program today. Lets get it. Jimmy welcome back. Tonight on the show from the new movie thank you for your service, Haley Bennett is here. And then a very funny gentleman, standup comedy from neel nanka tonight, you can see him live at westmont comedy theater. Tomorrow night Susan Sarandon will be here, Jeffrey Dean Morgan will join us, and well have music from odesza. Our first guest is a five time oscarnominated actor and director who is as comfortable with the words of shakespeare as he is with marvel comics. He is the director and star of a new adaptation of murder on the Orient Express. I didnt kill him you tried to burn the accounts but you have been stealing from him. The what is the english word the Chocolate Fudge . You spoiled the fudge you stole from him you thought you would be found out. That is why you killed him. Yeah. Yeah, youre damn right i stole from him. Thousands. Jimmy murder on the Orient Express opens in theaters on november 10th. Please welcome Kenneth Branagh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im impressed youre here you flew in from australia today . I got in from australia this morning. Because it baffles me, theyre 18 hours ahead. So i arrived four hours before i left. Jimmy thats true thats true. Thats what happens. Then you fill in the wrong date on the form you have to simber to the back line because it was tomorrow, when in fact it wassterday. Jimmy they send you to bir time. The numbers are wrong. Jimmy the president has some tough new immigration laws so exactly. [ laughter ] jimmy if you make a mistake you go to the end of the line. You come from australia, its like being in your own scifi film. You likeaustralia . Australia. You been there before . Ago. As a young actor. Lots of friends. And s