Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20171221

Very nice. I tell you i had an intere so i woke up. I wrestled the kids. I took a shower. I drove into work. I sat dune on my desk. Somehow found myself in a twitter war with roy moore. [ laughter ] running for senate in alabama even though multiple women accused him of hitting on them, groping them, et cetera, before they were 18 years old . Roy moore is not happy with me. What happened was they had a rally for roy moore at a church in theodore, alabama. Roy is running against someone as far as i know hasnt been accused of child molesting, doug jones. The election is decemb according to new polls they released this week roy moore leads doug jones by 5 or 6 points which doesnt say a lot for doug. Even thoore was reportedly so creepy around young girls, he was banned from the mall in gadston, alabama. Imagine getting banned from the mall. No hot dog on a sticfor you. [ laugthey had a rally for roy. A number of his supporters were there and one of them just happened to be our friend jake byrd, who jake byrd is a characte gumplike knack for showing up at all the big events. If youre not familiar with his work, this is jake at a donald trump rally in dallas in 2015. By the way, can you see in the back, they have the best view, can you see its really my hair . Yes yes jimmy so hes very passionate. [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jake got on a plane and went to alabama last night and apparently there was an incident that resulted in him getting kicked out of the rally. Well show you all the footage of that later. Apparently the commotion touched a nerve because today roy moore lashed out at me. Jimmy kimmel, if you want to mock our christian values, come down here to alabama and do it man to man. I responded and he responded back and i responded again, its all on twitter. The bottom line is this. I accept the invitation. I will come down there. [ cheers and applause ] what im going to do is i think youre going to like this, roy. Im going to come to gadston, alabama, with a team of high school cheerleaders, okay . [ laughter ] well meet you at the mall. Dont worry, i can get you in. [ laughter ] if when the girls and i show u behave, if you can somehow ma your little cowboy pants when those nubile cheerleaders come bounding in, well sit down at the food court over Panda Express and talk about christian values. I dont know if it doesnt fit your stereotype but i happen to be a christian too. I made my first holy communion, i was confirmed, i pray, i support my church, one of my closest friends is a priest, i baptized my children. Christian is actually my middle name. I know thats shocking but its true. If youre open to it, when we sit down, i will share with you what i learned at my church. At my church, forcing yourself on underaged girls is a nono. [ laughter ] some even consider it to be a sin. [ cheers and applause ] not thse. Allegedly. E encourag for forgiveness for the sin. Not to call the women you liars and damage them even more. Maybe your church is different, i dont know, lets figure it together, ill be happy to talk it through. Id gladly sit down to interview you about it. Maybe you say come to alabama and do it man to man, maybe youre challenging me to a fight, which is kind of what it sounds like. If you are, i accept, by the way. I accept that invitation. [ cheers and applause ] there is no one i would love to fight more than you. I will put my christian values aside just for you and for that fight. If you are challenging me to a fight, heres what well do. Lets find a place to do it. Ill wear a girl scout uniform so you can have something to get excited about. [ laughter ] and the winner, whoever wins the fight, will give all the money we charge for the tickets to charity. My charity will be the women who came forward to say you molested them, okay . [ cheers and applause ] all right, tough guy with your Little Pistol . Roy moore is never hes too scared to even debate the guy hes running against, doug jones. With me he wants to go man to man. Maybe if he went man to man instead of man to little girl you wouldnt be in this situation. Allegedly. Allegedly. [ applause ] i feel sorry for the people in alabama. I go online, people posting things like this about alabama. They falsely accuse jesus, vote roy moore. Yes, that is completely crazy. But not ev su people i remember living in arizona, okay. Maybe, i dont know, just clapping. I lived in arizona in the 80s when ed mecham was elected governor. He was a nut, he would have fit right in with these guys, he won with 40 of the vote. I was so embarrassed to be from there, to be from the state he was governor of, i felt i had to explain myself to everyone. I imagine thats how a lot of if you d that feeling, here in hollywood we dont hate alabama, we love alaba much we sent Reese Witherspoon you, okay . [ laughter ] we just dont like alleged childe your way clear to not electing one to the senate of the United States of america. Thats all. That seems reasonable, right . [ cheers and applause ] by the way, i understand if you dont if youre a republican, you dont want to vote for a democrat. Just dont vote, then. Youll feel better about yourself. So later on, we will have all of jake byrds exclusive report from alabama and you can see for yourself what roy moore got all up about. Meanwhile, at the white house tonight,t, president t wife muldavia took part in the lighti we 8, 7, 2, 1. Good job. Good job. Thats not festive at all. This is good. I showed this on jake tappers show on cnn today. You dont know if that was real or not, do you . Senator Lindsey Graham from South Carolina has been one of the most vocal critics from the Republican Party of President Trump. He didnt even vote for President Trump, he seems to be turning around hes on cnn today to defend the president against those who question his Mental Health. You know what concerns me about the american press, this endless attempt to label the guy as some kind of kook not fit to be president. He did win by the way. Thats what Lindsey Graham said today. This is what Lindsay Graham said about trump last year. I think hes a kook i think hes unfit for office. These guys cant even agree with themselves any more. Speaking of crazies. Kim jongun is riding high and mighty right about now. You see the pictures of him celebratin north korea launched a missile. Looks like they can reach any spot in the United States. Kim jongun celebrated with a smoke, a cigarette, hes got his guys. This is the missile i want to show you, its amazing how beautiful, how many stars you can see when your country has no electricity. [ laughter ] but kim jongun was pleased as punch. Looks like he just won a round of candyland after he ate all the on or about pieces. Here he is, a regular don draper. Oh, youd be happy too if you got a great black friday deal on plussize ladies pea coat at ross. He looks so different. Remember when he was just a kid on the news all the time . [ laughter ] yeah, so cute back then. And hes still cute even though he wants to kill us. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy speaking of cute congratulations to kellyanne conway, whos been selected to be President Trumps new opioid czar. For real. Earlier this year President Trump declared opioids to be a national emergency, so he allocated 12 million to fight them for the whole country. Thats by the way he spent 80 million this year on golf. So he is serious about this. Kellyanne conway has no Mental Health or recovery background or addiction specialty that would make her qualified to address this, which is a Huge National health crisis. Naturally trump was like, great, youre in. Youre in charge. [ laughter ] we are lucky enough to have kellyanne live with us to talk about her new position. Kellyanne, can you hear us . Hi there, jimmy, hi. Jimmy hi there, congratulation on this your new appointment, how does it feel toyou think it feels, jimmy i honestly have no idea how it feels. Well, ill tell you how it feels. It feels fantastic. Jimmy oh, thats hey, wait a minute. Are those kellyanne, are you eating opioids right now . Im eating opioids. Im the opioid czar. Welcome to dancing with the czar. Jimmy you cant eat all those. Those are narcotics. You cant eat those. Im not a marcotic, youre a marcotic tic tic jimmy kellyanne . Kellyanne . Are you okay . Im cokekay, mokekay its fake news, llyanne . Up right. Jimmy you know what, were going to oh, no. Thats terrible. All right, i hope shes oh, when we come wellhow you the reason for all the tumult in alabama tonight. A man who appeared to be an overzealous Roy Moore Supporter turned out to be a fictional character from the Jimmy Kimmel Live show. The character named jake byrd was escorted out of that rally, what Jimmy Kimmel Live plans my well, moments from now that will be seen. A special report from maith jake byrd, so stick around. Give joy, get joy at kohls and get kohls cash for you give joy with fine fragrances an American Girl doll or Diamond Jewelry kohls cash h for you arting thurs. Give joy, get joy at kohls when it comes to heartburn trust the brand doctors trust for themselves. Nexium 24h choice of doctors own frequent heartburn. All da all night prottion. When it comes to fretburn, trust nexium 24hr. Guess what i just got . Hello again. Hi. Get up to 400 towards a galaxy note8 or s8 with qualify only on samsung. 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Jimmy welcome back to the show. The way. First as i mentioned, last night in alabama there was a rally for Senate Hopeful roy moore, for some reason they hel church, maybe they were hoping he would repent, i dont know why. On hand to lenned his support and file this report friend jake byrd who really likes roy moore a lot. Yeah honk if you dont believe women. Hey, jake byrd here,abama with the l giving judge roy moore the business. Come on two, four, six, eight, we dont care what age he dates ro im at the mall. Roy moore, roy moore i mean, if anybody is stupid enough to where they bel these lies, they deserve the democrat. And the rhinos. Exactly, exactly, the lyi liberal media. Whod you rather have, roy, warts and all, sexual predator, whatever, or a democrat . I dont want no democrat. Okay. So well g h lous. This is washington, d. C. , this is everywher were sick of it. We know Big Government telling us we cant date little people. This lady is right, which is rare, because women have been liars. Okay . My mom gave my seventh grade teacher permission to date me. That turned out pretty good. Judge roy moore. Up top. Moretocome. I worked at the mall back during those roy moore days, okay . I was in millers sweating, said you got to hide me, the nazi gazpacho security guards were after him. I put him in a changing room. A few minutes later i fitted him with a nice pair of cowardurd and a nice top. He couldnt be nicer. Now, the judge would come into the movie theater, couldnt be nicer. He would order himself a popcorn. Always make sure whatever candy he got for his date wouldnt get caught in their braces, complete gentleman, hes got my vote. I dont care what he did in that theater. Hes got my vote as well, too. Hes not a democrat. This was i mean, this was before judge roy moore was even an elected official. Yeah, right. He wasnt an elected official when he was doing that stuff. Selves an assistant d. A. It shouldnt count. No, it doesnt. Were not going to elect the democrat. Thats it. We do not care what you did, as long as youre not a democrat. Yep. This is what im getting out of it. They think everybody in alabama is stupid. For them to come up with that stuff and think we going to believe it. Why should we believe women . Why should we believe those women . Im a woman. We dont believe her. [ laughter ] there aint no way that a man would fool with me and i wouldnt let him thats not true, thats not true. Yes, it is. Give me two wine coolers and see where this goes. I dont drink wine. Theyre not for you. Listen i aint never drank, smoked, fooled with narcotics. Or had an affair. Im a christian. You know if youre 140 years younger, roy moore would be all over you. Check this out roy not only am i by the democrats who want to push a liberal agenda, im being opposed by the washington establishment who dont want to change what anythings going on. Exactly bian, gay, bisexual, transgender who want to change our culture. Yes, yes never once has anyone stated anything like has occurred in the last three and a half weeks. But the whole town, all the girls are lying . Five statewide why would they lie . And three countywide campaigns. We can stop and it get them out . Come on, gut out of here, were here for the judge, were here for the judge hes a mans man the judge is a mans man you got this, judge, you got this. Dont listen to them hes a mans man is that the face of a molester . I would remind everyone again that the next one who makes disturbance will be turned over to the police. No more sissies i would repeal obamacare. I would repeal it tomorrow. Transgender troops, he favors. And he opposes trumps ban on number one fan you your number one fan. You know what, because i believe in the judge. And i dont believe in the ladies who lie. Does that look like the face of someone who hits on teenage girls . No. Thats a mans man. Thats an american right there. Thank you, judge. Thank you. This man repeatedly interrupted individual interviews. He was asked to leave after he stood up and shouted, does that look like someone who hits on a moore supporter who announced he was the former judges number one fan was also removed. I was just trying to let the judge know hes a mans man. And it took everyone freaked, they freaked. Thks for underst looks like i got a little too loud weenage girls dont worry, roy, you still got my support vote [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well done. Jake byrd, everyone. Sorry they didnt appreciate your enthusiasm. All right. We got a good show tonight. From the crown, matt smith is here. Chris laker is with us. Well be right back with [ cheers and applause ] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you duracell. T talking sweet and looking fine. Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la. Oohh. What fun it is to ride and sin g song its just a sweebaby. Its time for tha back holla hey. Hurry in to old navy for up to 75 off the entire store. Get last minute gifts for just 3, 4, and 5 buck inside the rack houses of jim beam, every barrel is aged four long years, for a fuller smoother flavor. Our history is made from the inside. How will you make yours . Jimmy were laying eggs in the United States and shipping them to mexico . Yeah. What happens when the wall is there . Heineken has been family owned since 1873. They know about Family Tradition. My favorite Family Tradition . Exchanging gifts. It allows me to showcase my tremendous range as an actor. What could this be . You shouldnt have i love it i actually brought these myself. Theres more behind the star. Michael im thankance. James im thankful for the help and the opportunity that i received. Darlene im thankful to be able to help people in crisis. Vanessa im thankful that addiction is treatable, and that help is availabl exeroin epidemic fueled by opioid painkillers. But is struggling with addiction i want you to know we are here for you. This holiday season, choose help. Call 844 reach nj or visit reachnj. Gov. Jimmy hi, there. Netflix matthe plays prinny man you can setage th atlanta next month chris laker is here. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night we close out the week with the director and cast of a very small independent film called star wars the last jedi. [ cheers and applause ] well be joined by mark hamill, adam driver, daisy ridley, john boyega, oscar isaac, andy serkis, gwendoli kelly marie tran, laura dern, rian johnson, and even bb a new show tomorrow night. The force will be with us. Why not you . [ cheers and applause ] and i want to mention this is very important. For those of you who are in the Las Vegas Area our friends the killers and imagine dragons are the main events for the vegas strong benefit concert tomorrow night. This concert helps those impacted by the tragedy in las vegas on october 1st. The show is at tmobile arena. Tickets are still available, so get those and go, it will be fun and its for a ver [ ch] our first guest is a very talented actor and director who is a producer too and star of the new movie Pitch Perfect 3. They were world champions. The wingest Acapella Group of all time. A group of notmen who somehow managed to win at something that didnt have to do wiu. Ary. Were calling security, and i care mace. Were going to be clinging do you like mom jeans to a camel toe. Thats right jimmy Pitch Perfect 3 opens december 22nd. Please welcome Elizabeth Banks [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you look fantastic. Thank you. Jimmy by the way, before we get into this, my mother, i want you to know maybe the biggest Pitch Perfect fan in the world. A big fan, i love her for that. Jimmy we hate her for it, not that we didnt love the movie but she never stops. I mean, with the singing and the watching. Shes going to love this one too, then. Jimmy shes excited for it. Need premiere tickets . Jimmy yeah, sure work, you allow her at the premiere . Is she going to act like jimmy yes, whatevers wad, shes going to act like it, like jake byrd at a roy moore rally. The premise is again her star wars trilogy, it really is, you guys not you guys but the a capella uso tour. Yes, formerly of bart, now of life, the bellas. A uso tour, which i didnt direct this movie but im the producer which means im responsible for figuring out what the storys going to be. Jimmy right. And in 2015, i went on a uso tour with the joint chief of staff general dunford. Jimmy where did you go . Afghanistan, bahrain, italy, djibouti, africa, and germany. Jimmy did you enjoy that trip . It was lifechanging, it was amazing. Jimmy really . In what ways it was so fun. You get to be with our troops. Were in one of the longest wars in american history. Jimmy right. I think its really important jimmy ee you, right . T yourself than going over there. I felt like it was the least i could do as an american citizen. Jimmy yeah. Go and especially at the holidays, you know theyre not going to get to be w so we get to bring a little bit of american fun over to them. Jimmy what did you do . Whod you go with chr jimmy oh, i was sort of the host of the show with my fri i was meant to go with john michae that clip with me, john and gail host the uso. At the last minute he couldnt go. I brought david jimmy because he doesnt love america a no, i think he got a movie job. Jimmy i see, okay. I thought long and hard about who i could bring that could kind of hang and do frankly like parlor tricks. David can solve a rubiks cube in 60 seconds and does magic a hes really funny, standup comedian. Jimmy this is what he did for the troops . Yes. Jimmy solved the rubiks cube . In 60 seconds. Jimmy did they beat him up or let him get away with it . Another thing obviously the most fun you have is you get to interact and understand how the troops oh, yeah. Jimmy well, okay. So yeah. Our guys, theyre big guys. Yeah, sure. And they really like to work out. I mean, this is in i believe this is in djibouti. Jimmy no, djiboutis a little bit lower. [ laughter ] djibouti. Well go over it. Okay. And we started after a while, we met so many guys that were huge, we started our parlor trick became guessing how much they could bench press based on the size of their pecs. I could tellwas a 280 and somebody who was a 420. Jimmy how would you eval them . That guys well over 300. Jimmy would you have them take off their shirts and then uate . Youi mean, no offense, but like you know. [ laughter ]ook like the hulk. Yo its amazing. Jimmy can you tees of people what they can or can youto h bit. What are you, under 200 for sure. Jimmy i dont even i just do the the ninepound bar. Jimmy you put things on i didnt realize that. It should come with them, its really r okay, so you go over there. Yeah. Jimmy did you ever feel like you were in danger . Yeah, no, we were tely we were traveling jimmy besides him dropping you will on your head . We were traveling with the highestranking military official in the United States. So we had a lot of security. We had a c17 plane fly behind air force two that we were on. And travel with us. And when we got to afghanistan, they told us et hit by like missiles. Jimmy yeah, right. I mean, just hearing that sentence we were like, what . What are we doing . And they do this like spin thing with the 747. Its not like were on some little plane. They spin down and land. And then when you take off, its like a rocket. Like they want to get high as fast as possible. So its going to be a quick up. And no joke, its as if this seat like went backwards and we were like, whoa okay, we are going. Immy diidnt get sick. Bu thats pretty crazy. The scariest thing that happened was when we got to afghanistan i forgot to turn my phone off. Me to afghanistan on md the hat i went to afghanistan. I was like, oh, no that was the thing jimmy i would have been scared of the roaming charges. [ laughter ] yeah, right. But also impressive that i had coverage. Jimmy were going to circle back to you inviting my mother the premiere because ill get a phone call tonight. It will happen. Jimmy very good h. Pitch perfect 3 opens december 22nd. Well be right back [ cheers and app dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by the makers of glade limited edition fragrances. Got the right gifts under the tree . Oh no, mmmm, but i like socks. Well of course son. Everyone loves socks. They keep your feet warm. But you cant stream nothing on no socks. True. Tmobile gives you two iphone 8s for the price of one. One person gets an awsome gift. And so does the next guy. Youre one wize dude dad. 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It helps you control stuff that streams on your tv but with your voice, because remotes are always disappearing, or dying or. Instead, when you want to watch that show everyones talking about you can say hey google, play master of none. Mmm pretty cool, right . It can turn it up, turn it down, turn it off. Even pause. And when you catch your husband watching game of thrones without you. Hey google, start over. It can do that too. Google home and Google Home Mini now starting at 29. Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la. Oh when you walk by every night talking sweet and looking fine. Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la. Oohh. Im so into you. What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight. Its just a sweet, sweet fantasy baby. Its time for the holidays. Holla back holla hey. Hurry in to old navy for up to 75 off the entire store. Get last minute gifts for just 3, 4, and 5 bucks at old navy. Jimmy hi, were back. Still to come, comedian chris laker. Our next guest plays Queen Elizabeths husband, a prince named philip, on the golden globewinning netflix series, the crown. Season 2 will be available for bingewatching starting december 8th. Please welcome his royal highness, matt smith. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know, i was thinking about you today. And i was wondering if people ask you about like the royal wedding. About harry and Meghan Markle and whatever. All the time. Jimmy but you dont youre not a member of the royal family, right . Not officially. Jimmy not officially. Unofficially. Jimmy not in way so you would realistically have no insight into that situation. No. I dont. Jimmy do you know prince harry . Ive met him twice. I prdi polo. And he played polo, then i threw was the guy afterwards that went up and presented the jimmy what award did he get, best prince . Yeah, best prince. Coolest prince on the coolest horse. And they won jimmy sure, they got to win, right . Exactly. Jimmy cant knock the prince off a horse. Hes a very charming, lovely man. Jimmy he as nice guy. He is, yeah, yeah. Jimmy Prince Philip is how years old . 96. Jimmy 96 yearsfore maybe, ye sadly not, no. It changes every two years. New cast. Jimmy do you know Prince Philip . No, i dont know. Id really like to meet Prince Philip. Jimmy why havent you met Prince Philip . Hes too cool for school. Hes an enigma, philip. Jimmy do Prince Philip and the queen watch the show . Philip, no. The queen, maybe, yes. Jimmy how do you know he doesnt and she might . Well, a friend of mine had dinner with the queen and the prince. It was about 80 of them there. Jimmy really, t. G. I. Fridays . Yeah exactly. [ laughter ] dennyke the mozzarella sti hes the sort of man of jim he said that Prince Philip said,volvedis crown show . And he said, no, no, im not, im not. T course, t was the second course, then the third course came out. By the end he thought, you know, actually, ill ask him. And ill see. He asked him. Philip, hathe crown . He turned around and went, dont be ridiculous. Jimmy dont be ridiculous. Hes not streaming . No, he doesnt have netflix. Jimmy maybe he doesnt have a netflix subscription. Maybe somebody should send him one and that would cover it. I do know, because of this photograph, that you met prince charley boy, yeah. Jimmy and camilla. Jimmy his were . His he has fantastic sho on those pants. Lets go over his outfit. Hes wonderfully tailored, do you not think . Jimmy not wonderfully. I dont know about that. Jimmy why are there so much buckling going on . That very stylish sort of jimmy hes reaching for a weapon it looks like here too. I would be a little worried if a guy did that. Is that the prince thing to do . Yeah, it is. Jimmy you pick things up from watching these guys . Yeah, thats exactly what they do, put their hands in their pockets. Jimmy what is that . It looks kind of cool, it looks rock n roll. I cant get anything. Jimmy yes, most people have fake pockets. Your pockets arent even real. Youve got to have that tailored. Exactly. Jimmy even though its the left hand, he doesnt have to shake peoples hands . Maybe. Although hes very good at that as well. Hes very, very jimmy like that . Thats how he does it . A nice royal shake. Theres a royal wave. Jimmy dont you have to be good at that . Youre meant to learn these things. The kind of wonderful thing about Prince Philip that is hes the kind of dissident. Hes the one that doesnt really do anything. Hes the outsider. Jimmy i see. He kind of just plays jimmy you dont have to learn any of that stuff. Not really, yeah. Jimmy will you go back home for the holidays . Will for christmas. Jimmy what did you guys do . The local village pub. Jimmy whats the name . I shouldnt say where, should i . [ laughter ] jimmy dont worry, they dont know when christmas is. Its new world psalms, have a couple of pints with my mates, mulled wine and all that. Do you have mulled wine here . Jimmy we dont have that, i dont know what youre saying to be honest. [ laughter ] so mulled wine. Jimmy mulled wine is wine thats put in a big urn then its like cloves and whiskey and stuf jimmy cl cloves. Jimmy they boil it. Jimmy they boil it . They boil it. Is it good . Well, yeah. It is. It gets you really pissed. Jimmy do they reduce it . Is that why its so yeah, it smells like christmas, the scent of christmas, its marvelous. Jimmy the cloves smell like christmas. I think youd like it. Jimmy ill boil up some wine and well see. Boil up some wine. Jimmy very nice having you here. Have a great holiday. Matt smith, everybody the crown december 8th on netflix. Be right back with chris laker before we hit the beach, ive gotta hit the loo. We cant stay here lean aww. Compared to charmin ultra strong, other toilet paper. Falls flat. Its washclothlike texture helps clean better. Its four beautiful view. You, honeybear awwwww. We all go. Why not enjoy the go with charmin . Gentleman you are about to see on december 15th and 16t Center Stage Theater in atlanta with the great mike vermiglia. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome chris laker [ cheers and applause ] i am happy. [ scattered laughter ] i need to tell people that e my face looks angry. Strangers come up to me and tell me i look angry. Which is v pproachable enough to tell me that. [ laughter ] people alsard ti figuring out my age because i apents. [ laughter ] last night i went out to dinner with my girlfriend. Now ive been living with my girlfriend for like six years, no talk of marriage, i dont know, she hasnt brought it up. And i feel like its more romantic to say, youre fr tim [ laughter ] she is jewish, i am not. I was raised catholic, which is the nicest way i can think of saying, im not catholic. ] they make it too easy to get out of being catholic, thats their fault. You dont show up for like two weeks theyre like, youre not ic here. Jewish people dont doo matter its like the crips. My friend doesnt es and get this. If i get her pregnant, i just ther jewis [ laughter ] its a lot of power to give me. Its a chosen baby. Born with thousands of years of oppressionree trip to israel. [ laughter ] now i got to explain antisemitism to my little jewish kid. I dont know how to do that. Ing up at me. Like, why dont people like us, dad . Well, first of all, its just you. Laughter ] [ applause ] i am welcome everywhere so were out at this restaurant. E brou she insists on sitting with her back to the wall. I dont know why. But im like, okay, sit wherever you want, youre paying. [ laughter ] i dont like that shes paying. Its embarrassing. I just dont have any money. [ laughter ] i used to have money. I used to be an accountant. I didnt look like this then. I looked like this on the inside. They found that out. I dont work there anymore. [ laughter ] i got fired, man. When i got fired, my boss told me its because my performance had gotten poor, which as lie, it did not happen. My performance was always poor, it took them four years to figure it out. [ laughter ] some people take pride in a job well done. I was getting paid just as much as that dude. [ laughter ] so were sitting there at the table. My girlfriends back is to the wall. My back is to the waiter. The waiter comes up from behind me and says, can i help you ladies . [ laughter ] its a mistake. Its not a huge deal. Except i heard pity in his voice. Saw my back and thought, look at monster of a woman. [ laughter ] im going to make her feel like a real lady its just not a good idea to say, can i help you ladies . Even if you just see me from the back. Use think olit this [ laughter ] [ applause ] she votes green party. Doesnt like genderspecific pronouns. And has so man recommendations. [ laughter ] i love all of you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy very funny, thank you. Chris laker, everybody thanks to my guests, apologies to Matt Nightline is next. Th for watching, good night you re hair. Tonight, were on the ground in russia. This is quite a show of force. When president Vladimir Putin has an iron grip on power. This is a risky thing youre about to go too. Yeah its russia. Dan harris i with young peoplethe kremlin. Is he trying to start a fight . Yes. And the biker a for violenc in to heir president. Plus the alleged russian troll factory exposed. Im from abc news in the United States. [ bleep ]. Accused of raging a propaganda war in the u. S. And we travel into