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i'm gonna make 'em special! luckily, most of us find the courage to tell friends that we'll miss them. good night, dr. cox. or not. ♪ the seasons always change (ring) (beep) hello. still, what i remember most is that leaving parts of my life behind always ended up hurting more than i thought. oh, no, turk, don't sweat it, man. if izzy's alone, you can't leave her. hmm, i'm pretty sure that's illegal. no, we'll just hang out another time. all right, man. right. (beep) he can't make it? no. (mouths words) ♪ is love alive? ♪ is love alive? >> august 11th, 2011, from comedy central...

precursor to january's wildly nonpredictive iowa caucus. (laughter) the idea is presidential candidates set up tents. in those tents the candidate offers to pay an individual $30 straw poll entrance fee. in return, the individual promises to cast their vote for said candidate all while both parties pretend this corrupt transaction in no way affects either party's inherent heartland foxiness. it's just good old parked down home country vote buying. (laughter) all the fun of a poll tax with none of the consequences. (laughter) >> so clearly the key to ining with the iowa straw poll is ...

for rick santorum will be there. his tent boasts rick santorum summer dance party which, by the way, is the lowest testing bet pilot ever. (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> jon: hi, everybody, who here likes to cha-cha. remember leave room for jesus. (laughter) of course, if summer dance parties are not your thing, perhaps you would like some of rick santorum's homemade peach jelly. they're handing out samples of their peach jelly. wow. rick santorum must really be trying to change the search results that come up when people google santorum and jelly. now rick-- (applause) rick, it...

>> hey, dennis, want one? >> uh, you know what, maybe not tonight, ladies. i'm kind of working on something. >> oh, come on, don't be a loser. >> yeah. >> well, uh... all right. yeah, maybe just one. do you have one for my sister, too? >> sure. >> what is it? >> you'll see. >> chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. >> chopping, chopping. >> good, good. >> the cat's dead. i don't see any problems with that, other than the fact that the camera might see my hand killing the cat. >> no, charlie, we're gonna pull the cat out of there before it gets through the chopper. >> yeah, but if sweet dee do...

welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a show for you tonight. our guest tonight a man name michael wallis, author of a new book called david crockett, that's right, david. (laughter) >> what mr. crockett preferred and actually he didn't wear a racoon tailed hat, he wore a ca ron pelt chappeau. they gave me the sen ten-- sentenced uttered every four years. our top story tonight is in a mark es, eye watch. the iowa straw poll which is the subject of indecision 2012, corn poll edition. the iowa straw poll is, of course, the early august to the very predictive precur...