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Jeselnik thanks to nick kroll and pat and oswalt and follow me on twitter and at tc. Com jeselnik and first lets look back at the best moments from tonights show. Hey . Yeah, anthony. What do they say about a bully gay teen on suicide watch . I dont know, anthony. Jeselnik no noose is good noose. [laughter] hey, rick. Yeah, anthony. Jeselnik why didnt christina get an aportion . To make a big splash at prom . Like in the toilet . Jeselnik you got it. Thats a look at this springs hottest dildos. Well be right back. Yeah yeah never forget, good night, kids. Go read a book. [cheers and applause] ...

Im waiting for one of these disgusting pedophiles to say, hey, i dont do threesomes, okay, pal . The good thing about this show is when these pedophiles, and they are creeps, run out of the house, theres like 15 or 20 cops waiting for em. They throw em on the ground, handcuff em, and take em to jail. They cannot get away. Its impossible. Im watching an episode. The guy runs out of the house, theres 15 cops, and theres a cop dressed in a tree outfit. Hes dressed as a tree. In case he gets through the 15 cops, the tree [laughter and applause] as the pedophiles walking up the drive like, wouldnt ...

Tc. Com jeselnik and first lets look back at the best moments from tonights show. Hey . Yeah, anthony. What do they say about a bully gay teen on suicide watch . I dont know, anthony. Jeselnik no noose is good noose. [laughter] hey, rick. Yeah, anthony. Jeselnik why didnt christina get an aportion . To make a big splash at prom . Like in the toilet . Jeselnik you got it. Thats a look at this springs hottest dildos. Well be right back. Yeah yeah never forget, good night, kids. Go read a book. [cheers and applause] from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show ...

His mother spoking out about the painful moment she says little jonah was assaulted on a flight. The immediate action taken against an executive under fire. Watch out. This woman going one on one with great white sharks. Sh can hold her breath for almost six minutes. Get ready to meet the shark whisperer. Only on gma. And good morning to you, america. On this president s day. You can see, george is off. Glad to have amy robach here and paula faris. Hey, robin. 48 hours now. Until that 4 00 a. M. Alarm means business. Robin roberts back in two days. Looking forward to it. A lot of big headlines...

Jonah was assaulted on a flight. The immediate action taken against an executive under fire. Watch out. This woman going one on one with great white sharks. Sh can hold her breath for almost six minutes. Get ready to meet the shark whisperer. Only on gma. And good morning to you, america. On this president s day. You can see, george is off. Glad to have amy robach here and paula faris. Hey, robin. 48 hours now. Until that 4 00 a. M. Alarm means business. Robin roberts back in two days. Looking forward to it. A lot of big headlines for you today. Gas prices up almost 50 cents a gallon in the la...