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I had a horrible dream. i couldn t breathe. i felt like i was suffocating. then i woke up and realized, oh, conan was holding a pillow over my face. hey, hey! five years goes by pretty quickly. and we got to that moment, and we said oh shit, because the fact is jay was still doing incredibly well. so after like 17 years, they still have the number one guy. jay had the point of view that i shouldn t leave until i start to decline. i felt an obligation to the fact that i gave my word to conan about the tonight show, so now we re faced with a dilemma of we have two guys who want the tonight show and jay is still on top of the world. what do we do? we were hearing that abc was offering jay leno the 11:30 spot. have you thought about the abc thing, about whether you want to come over here and more importantly, what will become of me? i thought, well, you know what? ....
Then they asked me to do their show the next night. i said, yeah, i ll do it. but we have to talk about the elephant in the room, which is this thing with conan. they said, yes, no problem. don t worry. we have ten questions. question number one. it was ten questions, the ten at 10:00. right before the show, they send me the questions. and they re not about what i agreed to talk to at all. number five. you re known for pranks. what s the best prank you ever pulled? so i felt that i was being bamboozled. so i reacted by making every question about what i wanted to talk about. i think the best prank i ever pulled was i told a guy i told a guy that five years from now i m going to give you my show and then when five years came, i gave it to him. i took it back almost instantly. it was hilarious. wow. it was hilarious. hello there, i m conan o brien. sorry if i m a little late. i had a job interview at lady foot locker. i m still on the air and i m ....
Was the one where we had to tell conan that we were going to take him out of the 11:30 time slot and move jay back in there. i was just listening to this and i couldn t believe that adults had this idea. ....
I just thought, i can t believe i get to do this. good lord. pearl jam. we ll take a break. we ll be right back. the first couple of weeks of results were very promising and surpassed what the expectations were. but i think conan was feeling the pressure, and who wouldn t? conan gets three months on the air as the host of the tonight show before jay leno gets his prime time show at 10:00 and becomes conan s lead-in again. late night television is very dependent on leading. lead-in. so having jay at 10:00, our hope, my hope is that he would do really well. it didn t work out that way. jay was incredibly talented, but the program didn t work. nobody wants to see a late night show at 10:00 they found out. we were branded the biggest bomb in the history of prime time television. nbc always considered the jay ....
I took it back almost instantly. it was hilarious. i m conan o brien. i m sorry i m late. i had a job interview at lady foot locker. i m still on the air and i m doing comedy about what s going on with nbc and man was that fun. it s going to take nbc several years to pay this off. it s a doozy. we just bought this using their credit card from the smithsonian institute. please welcome a rare fossil skeleton of a giant ground sloth, ladies and gentlemen. it was so freeing to get to do that. my writers have never been funnier. he s spraying the caviar on an original picasso. total cost for this bit, $65 million. people were calling in angry. he s destroying picassos! that punk. i couldn t have been happier. [ laughter ] ....