Monogamy, flawlessly executed over decades, is not the only way to demonstrate faithfulness
Savage Love
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Is this cheating? Dear Dan — You've said that everyone is entitled to a "zone of erotic autonomy." I was wondering if you think that "zone" extends to sending thousands of dollars to a "FinDom." I'm a 33-year-old straight woman and I love my husband and we have a great (or so I thought) sex life. He's very dominant and controlling in bed and I'm very submissive, and I thought we were well-matched sexually. So it was a shock for more than one reason when I stumbled over evidence that he's been sending money to a female sex worker who calls herself a FinDom. This has been going on for nearly...
Dear Dan: I have a quick question about bisexuality. What if one has a preference for dating straight individuals? As a straight woman, I am only interested in dating straight men. Is that some kind of phobia? Or is it OK for that to be a preference? Nervously Asking Dan Something I think you're fine, NADS, so long as you've taken a moment to think about why you're burdened with this "preference." Our sexual attractions, orientations and preferences are easily distorted and limited by prejudice. If you reflect on what might be at the root of your "preference" for men who are straight (or for...
Don’t Judge a Wine by Its Screw Cap Dear Dan: A good friend hosted me for a birthday dinner, and the elegant table was set with crystal stemware—but the wine he served was sealed with a screw cap. Should I be offended?—Wine Novice Dear Wine Novice: Have you been living in Siberia for the last 50 years? Around 1970, screw caps were associated with cheap wines, derelicts, brown bags, and gutters. But soon, wineries around the world began hearing about the real reason screw caps made a lot of sense. In fact, if the wine your friend served was a 2018 PlumpJack cabernet sauvignon, you should...
Dear Dan, I agree; any view that has God as the foundation of morality â like the Christian view I described in my last letter â will have further, serious issues to address. In fact, your two objections get at the most central ones. Let me respond to both. What Makes Godâs Laws Good? Your first objection has a great pedigree and can be traced all the way back to Plato. Namely, what makes Godâs moral laws â his moral values â good? Does he like these laws because they are good? Or are they good because he likes them? Either way seems to spell trouble for Chris...