mom, eric meets with a language coach his own age paid for by his parents. and their conversation sounds like any other dinner date. thank you for asking! good morning, pam! good morning! how are you today? reporter: but the best news is eric s mom has traded the dayhab for something even better. he s been selected for a competitive art program for adults with developmental disabilities. it s called pure vision arts and is a program of the shield institute, a non- profit organization. eric shows us some of his artwork. and is that milk or juice? milk! reporter: breakfast! eric has also displayed his work in several art exhibits around new york city. at his first show, old friends come to celebrate with him. his mother, who s finally finding time to get back to her own artwork, is thrilled. and one snowy morning this february, mary and eric go to one of the biggest public art fairs in new york city.
running around the apartment where he lives with his mother, father, and sister. he was a beautiful toddler, running up and down the halls, chasing our labrador retriever. he was such a loving child. and so attachd to me. reporter: but when he was about 18 months old, mary noticed eric only had a few words. and he d become repetitive playing an old cassette tape again and again. and so that was the first hint. the pediatrician then said, it s time to get him looked at. i don t think he got a full diagnosis of autism until he was three. but by two and a half, we were on it and had started therapies. reporter: you knew. we knew. we knew. reporter: eric started going to treatment centers to help him develop language skills. eric, do you want some bagel? you want bagel yeah. reporter: mary was building a career as a professional artist, but she put those ambitions on hold to care for her son full
now. reporter: we ve watched them struggle to find resources. he s falling apart. he s a mess. and i need help and i need help like two months ago. you don t feel like you can do it this morning? reporter: and battle to build a future for their sons. our story starts months before their worlds turn upside down on a warm summer evening in new york city where eric and mary are out on their weekly date. eric s in the congo, nothing can go wrong-o. he s not afraid, not afraid, not afraid he s not afraid, not afraid, not afraid, not afraid. reporter: over dinner, eric and his mother talk about his upcoming birthday. and now you re a big guy. that s right. reporter: in a few months, eric will turn 21, the age when people with disabilities are no longer eligible for help through the education system. you re a big boy. and really becoming a young man. you ll be a young man. yes. yeah. reporter: it wasn t so long ago that eric was a little boy,
reporter: new york state says it s helping more and more people with developmental disabilities lead increasingly independent lives. it says it s in the process of shutting down those sheltered workshops and trying to help people find jobs. ruth can sing a peanut butter sandwich made with jam. i had always thought when he got older i had this vague idea that he would have some kind of a job and that it would be over. and i am only adjusting now over the last two years in this transition period to understand that it s never going to be over. as long as i m alive, i will be caring for eric. reporter: being a champion for someone who has a developmental disability can be draining. studies show a higher incidence of depression among parents and caregivers. six months after eric s graduation, mary is struggling. reporter: when i think about you being with him day in and day out and having the special relationship that you do. it s wonderful but i also know it must be so hard day t
the biggest thing that hurts is for me is loneliness and isolation. it s very, very hard. but i absolutely love this boy. reporter: mary is feeling desperate and starts to think one of those dayhabs might be better than nothing. so she sends in an application. i still wake up every single morning in a panic and worried about what am i going to do about eric? and eric needs to get outside! i look at the future and that feels so hopeless. i mean, mommy! okay. reporter: both families are watching their sons slip away, discovering they have to make compromises but as difficult as things seem one family is about to discover things could be even worse. we have nice weather. that is about the level of service that we have here. we always tell people, don t move here. reporter: coming up, hope. the team that comes to help him, helps me do better for him, and heartbreak. reporter: what does it mean to the family? it ll be long distance. reporter: when dateline cont