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In a decisive victory for cyclists, net zero and asthmatic children everywhere, the citizens of Paris have voted to banish sports utility vehicles (SUVs) from the city’s streets. Drivers of these huge, gas-guzzling, smoke-belching monstrosities will face punitive charges for parking inside the French capital, thus heralding the end of “carbesity” and sending an unequivocal message worldwide – that the environmentalists have won, and dastardly SUV owners have been thwarted for good. ....