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JERUSALEM—Following its ban of the Qatar-based news outlet’s operations in the country, Israel accused Al Jazeera Monday of being a mouthpiece for journalism. “It is clear from its continuous, 24-hour coverage of the war in Gaza that Al Jazeera is working on behalf of journalistic principles,” Prime Minister Benjamin…
SAN DIEGO—Repeatedly questioning how anyone in this city made a living when all they did was hang out and waste their time and money, local dad Keith Dearborn reportedly spent his entire vacation asking how this many people were out at coffee shops on a weekday. “I don’t get it. It’s 12 p.m. on a Wednesday, and this…
AUSTIN, TX—In another major victory for the pro-life movement, Texas passed a new law Monday making it legal to sue any woman whose weight fluctuates in order to find out what is going on there. “Is she yo-yo dieting, or is she getting a clandestine abortion every other month?” said Beth Sikes, a spokesperson for…
TORONTO—In a stunning twist to the feud between the two hip-hop artists, Drake reportedly dropped a new track Monday inviting Kendrick Lamar out to coffee so they could clear things up. “The truth is, Kendrick, I think you’re a sweetie / Does 2 p.m. work, or maybe 3?” Drake raps in his new single titled “I Miss You,…
WASHINGTON—Showing wide-ranging approval across all demographic groups regardless of political affiliation, a new poll from the Pew Research Center found Monday that the majority of U.S. citizens want immigration reform that includes making up new last names for people again. “Our data show that most Americans do…