Page 7 - Humor Bits News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

This article from Defector outlines how tax dollars -- a LOT of tax dollars -- are subsidizing horse racing. The horse racing industry is totally beholden to states propping it up with massive infusions of money. Why? Why is money that could go to other things being sent to a dying industry? You know that younger folks aren't at all interested in horse racing, that it's not that popular anymore, that it won't grow, that it can be downright cruel or even fatal for the horses. Why are race tracks and purses being fueled with casino revenues when there are other things that slot ...

The pandemic triggered a major uptick in insurance claims related to hot tubs in the U.K., and by "major uptick" I mean they tripled. Apparently, everyone in the U.K. got a hot tub to while away the hours in isolation. Or maybe it was Brexit. Anyway, you had accidental damage like submerged cell phones, engagement rings ripping into tub linings, stuff like that. See, I always thought of hot tubs as bacteria breeding grounds, which would not make them ideal for a pandemic, but what do I know? People were actually stealing hot tubs from other people's gardens, so clearly I'm in ...

It looks like a $166 traffic ticket written against a Florida driver whose crash was caused by her trying to avoid a sofa that landed in the lane in front of her will be dismissed, meaning that the cops came to their senses, though the officer who wrote her up insists that he was right. He says that if you leave proper distance between you and the car in front of you, you'll have plenty of time to stop. That's not how freeway driving works, and if a piece of furniture flies off a flatbed, you ...

Perry Michael Simon is Vice President and Editor/News-Talk-Sports/Podcast for AllAccess.com and the former Program Director and Operations Manager at stations like KLSX and KLYY (Y107)/Los Angeles and WKXW (New Jersey 101.5)/Trenton. He's been on-air and written stuff for TV and websites and other stuff he doesn't remember all that well. He can also be found at Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and pmsimon.com, if you're so inclined. In addition, he's the former Editor-in-Chief at Nerdist.com and Director of Programming at the Nerdist Podcast Network. Industry Directory

Tip: When the cops show up because you nearly drove your car into a gas pump, and they ask you for ID, pull out your license and not, as this Florida Man did, show them your "Dank Gummies" and "Medicated Nerds Rope." He claimed they were for his cancer-patient girlfriend, who has a medical marijuana card, but that didn't explain the cocaine they found on him. So, yeah, just the license. (WBBH-TV/Fort Myers)