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Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20140404:23:31:00

thanks to corporate sponsorship, majority whip now known as miracle whip. number five, first day in office, my mother s face goes up on mt. rushmore. wow, look there! and the number one sign brb is overconfident, been cruising for chicks with john edwards. of course, when it came to politics, one of letterman s favorite targets is chris christie who he has relentlessly parodied in some over the top videos. the new jersey governor famously got in on the joke with a little self-parody when he joined letterman in february of last year. i ve made jokes about you, not just one or two. not just ongoing here and there, intermittent. but [ laughter ] i didn t know this was going to be this long. as they say, all good things must come to an end. but we re certainly going to miss david letterman. up next, the right wing clown car is drag racing into high gear. and we ve got one tea party who is out there defending ....

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Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20130521:02:24:00

yes, sir, i can. tell me what your needs are in moore right now. right now we need power. what we have is a lot of onlookers and stuff, we have a lot of volunteers. we re still going through debris, still looking for people, doing search and rescue. right now, the power service for the telephones are kind of intermittent, come and go. right now, we re still looking for victims. our heart goes out to families of the victims and all of those injured. still finding people in the rubble that are okay. we have some fatalities and we just are not real sure how many yet, so i can t confirm that. anyway, it is quite a mess. we have been through this before. i was mayor in the may 3rd tornado in 99, so we have been through this before. we have a really good team here ....

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Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20130508:02:19:00

David letterman. i made jokes about you, not just one or two, not just on-going here and there, intermittent [ laughter ] how is your cholesterol? actually, dave, my cholesterol is normal, believe it or not. that s pretty good. what about your blood sugar? blood sugar also normal. also normal. basically i am like the healthiest fat guy you ve ever seen in your life. donut jokes aside, seems news of his surgery garnered bipartisan support. the challenge, chris, is to start, now you have to maintain and if i couldn t be your starter, i could help be your maintenance man. joining me, reverend al sharpton, host of msnbc politics nation, and msnbc political analyst, steve schmidt, senior adviser for the mccain, palin ....

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Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20130508:05:18:00

Made me think. you know, i got confronted with, you know, your own, mortality as you start to age. so from my perspective, this is about mary pat and the kids and me, it s really not about anybody else and it shouldn t be about anybody else. everybody is going to have opinions as is obvious from this skrum of people here today, but i don t with all due respect to everybody here, your opinions on this issue really don t matter a whole hell of a lot to me. 12 days before the operation, chris christie didn t seem to have any concerns about his weight during an appearance with david letterman. i made jokes about you, not just one or two, not just on-going here and there, intermittent [ laughter ] how is your cholesterol? actually, dave, my ....

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Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20130507:22:51:00

Intermittent. but i didn t know this was going to be this long. so, i mean, he s handled it, he s laughed along. and i can tell you, you know, i ve had cartoons and all done on me when i was heavy. and you can learn not to let it bother you. but his children, as he said, it s another thing. what started me dieting was my youngest daughter. i didn t care what any commentator said. my youngest daughter ashley said, dad, why are you so fat? i went on a diet that day. that s a motivation. yes, that is a motivation. i call it offensive. but go ahead. really. what was up with that? right. i truly wish him luck. it s tough. this is not necessarily the best way to do it, either. maybe you will give him some health tips. ....

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