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to come home back to ohio and to be shown a blank death certificate and to hear the words that you know john and jim when john dies ohio will say he's single. and they will not list your name in that field as the surviving spouse. it was heartbreaking. and for us it was a very easy decision to say this isn't right, this isn't something we should stand for. and it isn't something anyone else should stand for. it was a very easy decision for us to stand up and say we won't take this. >> you've become the poster child for it. and you do it very well i must add. chad so we know the opponents are going to argue that and have argued for a long time that this issue of gay marriage should be left up to the states. 36 states and washington, d.c. currently allow for same-sex marriage. but why for you is it unacceptable that the idea of leaving it up to the states to decide? >> because at the end of the day